Chapter 5: Love, truth and honesty
Author:Hyyp chick
Rating:R for language
Pairing:Obi/Ani
Disclaimer:I do not own these characters, still
Summary:Still AU from movies, but I'm picking at the bits I want to use, self explained in the story I think. Anakin has trouble dealing with situations.

Anakin walked away from the medical bay with his arms across his stomach, each hand in the opposing sleeve of his cloak. He didn't want people to look at it. It was bad enough that everyone knew what had happened, they didn't need to stare at the freak all day as well. He hung his head low to avoid eye contact with those he passed but he could feel their glances boring holes into him, their whispers in his head. I mean he's a Jedi Knight, do they think he can't fucking hear them?!

Well he can hear them. Every single one of them. Every word, every comment, every remark, every vicious thought. Bastards. All of them. Don't they know there's a war on? Don't they have anything better to do than laugh at him?

He passed a couple of young Padawans in the hallway, no more than 11 years old, sharing a thought on a class they had just previously been let out of. As he went by they giggled.

"It's fucking hilarious isn't it? Go on have a good laugh at the freak show!" He spat testily.

The Padawans cowered at the sudden and unprovoked outburst from the Knight in front of them. They would have made apologies to their hero if only they had known their fault. Then out of nowhere, like a guardian angel, Anakin felt the soothing arms of Obi-wan wrap around his shoulders, easing his pain. He didn't hear the comforting words his old Master administered to the frightened young ones, he only felt his body being steered to the safety of their quarters.

Obi-wan placed the hurting Jedi on the sofa and disappeared to the kitchen. He returned moments later with a hot honey drink and chocolate biscuits. The answer to all of Anakin's problems since Obi-wan had known him as a small boy. He placed his wares on the table. Anakin stared at them for a few seconds before glowering up at his former Master.

"I'm not 10 years old Obi-wan" He snapped ungratefully before moving himself to the window.

"No Anakin you are not but you still have the same sweet tooth and you deserve a treat for what you have been through" Obi-wan countered with sympathetically.

"I don't want your pity" Anakin replied, staring out of the window at the heavy Coruscant traffic but seeing nothing.

"You are upset by what has happened Anakin, it is understandable, I know how you must be feeling..."

"How do you know Obi-wan huh? How the fuck do you know what I am feeling?!" He raged, flaying his arms up, revealing the gloved limb that was the cause of his distress.

Now into its third year the war had left many battle scars and created many casualties. For being on the front line Anakin and Obi-wan had escaped relatively unscathed. Until now. A mission had gone disastrously wrong and the information the Jedi held had been overwhelmingly inaccurate. Having been led into a trap the ultimate tag team found themselves facing a Sith Lord with no assistance and no way of calling for help. They had been brought to face their death at the hands of this apprentice because their heroic efforts in the war was generally pissing off those in charge of the separatist movement who believed they could gain closure of the war far quicker with the absence of Kenobi-Skywalker. The ensuing battle had been fierce and in its midst Anakin had overstepped his mark and consequently lost his limb. He was lucky in fact to keep his life but seeing Anakin so severely wounded had spurred Obi-wan to a new level and he had disposed of the Sith apprentice in his vengeful defence of his lover. Anakin had lost consciousness soon after and awoke some time later in the medical bay aboard ship. His consciousness then had been brief and after some terrifying dreams he awoke in the medical centre of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. He had refused to see anyone and Obi-wan had been forced to visit only when the boy was in the throws of fitful sleep. He would whisper sweet words softly and wipe his brow to calm him but would always be forced to leave by the chief medical droid as Anakin began to wake for fear of the rage the Knight had shown on first realisation of what had happened to him.

Obi-wan didn't even look at Anakin's hand as it waved infuriated in front of him. His eyes were entranced by the anger and hurt, suffering and humiliation in Anakin's eyes.

"Calm down, the medical droids have done their job well and everything is going to be alright".

It was Obi-wan's attempt at soothing the situation, which seemed a lot harder than it was meant to be. It wasn't working. Anakin pulled back the sleeve of his robe to reveal an elbow length leather glove.

"You call this alright?! Everyone is laughing at me!" Anakin bellowed.

"Nobody is laughing at you. Who is laughing at you?" Obi-wan asked patiently.

"Everybody!" Anakin repeated.

"Am I laughing Anakin?" Obi-wan attempted reason.

"You are disappointed in me, I have failed you, and now with this...I repulse you"

"Anakin I am not repulsed by you!My feelings for you have not changed, except maybe to grow stronger, and you are not a disappointment, to me you never could be" Obi-wan spoke, truthfully and candidly.

Anakin stormed passed Obi-wan to close himself in his bedroom. Obi-wan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. It hurt so much to see Anakin in so much pain. If he could just reach out, just touch him, wrap up his ego and dispel his paranoia. Couldn't he see how Obi-wan felt, that a metal hand didn't matter, Force Anakin could have turned purple and grown two heads and it wouldn't matter as far as Obi-wan was concerned. He had to help Anakin before the depression consumed him. He just had no idea how.

Obi-wan and Anakin had been grounded on Coruscant for a month and a half. At first Obi-wan hadn't been able to get through to his former Padawan at all, and he had tried everything. Then one day he had disappeared. Gone at the crack of dawn and not back at nightfall Obi-wan had worried about him. Anakin had been in no fit state to be on his own. Obi-wan had fallen asleep in the common room waiting for his return. Then he did return as the sun broke through the darkness, brighter than the day before, as bright as Obi-wan could ever remember it being on Coruscant. He had floated into the apartment awash with serenity. Gone was his angst, his suffering, his depression, replaced by a sense of stronger well being, self worth, optimism. He had smiled that smile, the one where its recipient knew they were the most important being in his whole universe and they had made love so tenderly it was almost dreamlike.

Obi-wan had questioned the sudden change, the events that had led him from the Temple in pain and returned him in peace but Anakin would not explain himself, only to say that someone had battered him out of it and made him see that his life was still a life worth living. Despondant as Obi-wan was that he had not been the one capable of this feat when he should have been, he was just as glad to have Anakin back. During the days when Obi-wan had assignments to complete, or teaching of younglings in the absence of their tutors Anakin would always be gone from the Temple and he would always return at nightfall in the same state of serenity. The Jedi Order had been trying to teach this to him for years, Obi-wan had no idea what was blessing him with it now but he was glad. Anakin had come through his most difficult trial and survived. He was truly a great man.

It had been three months since Kenobi-Skywalker had been war active. The council had granted Anakin extended sick leave on account of the seriousness of his injuries, and anyway he was finally acting like a Jedi, why spoil it?

Anakin had been summoned to the council chambers in the early morn after a much confusing night. He glanced in Obi-wan's direction but the Jedi Master avoided his gaze as he had avoided him since his return to the Temple that previous night. Anakin bowed respectfully to the congregated Masters.

"Do you know why you have been summoned here, Skywalker?" Mace Windu quizzed, detest spitting from his lips.

"No" Anakin answered in his ignorance, shaking his head. He could feel the council's eyes ripping shreads off him, Obi-wan's fierce of all.

Mace Windu played a holo image in front of Anakin. It showed him in a tight clinch with Padme, followed by a peck on her cheek dangerously close to her lips. Mace shut down the projector after grimacing at the recording.

"I am not watching any more of that again" He hissed tartly before returning his stare to Anakin, "Basically what the commentator elaborates on in her report is the romantic involvement you have with Senator Amidala" Mace Windu informed Anakin as if the news report were fact.

Anakin looked down to his feet but not because of the accusation, it was the realisation that Obi-wan had seen the news story and this, gossip, was the reason for his coldness.

"That's ridiculous" Anakin finally admonished. Mace raised an unconvinced eyebrow.

"Myself and Padme are friends but we are nothing beyond that" Anakin spoke with astonishment at being questioned on this matter.

"That embrace, that kiss if you even want to call it that..." He began, waving his hand in the direction of the projector, "...was purely platonic. Her security officer is concerned for her safety with all the disappearances occurring within the senate, he asked me to attend this dinner party with her for her protection when she refused to not attend. He felt my presence would ward off potential attacks on her and that she would allow it because of our friendship. That, whatever it was, took place in a room of 20 or more guests, I was bidding my farewell"

"And you didn't think to inform the council of this?" Mace asked as if Anakin were stupid.

"I didn't realise my every move had to be catalogued." Anakin replied facetiously, "I'm on leave, it was just a delegate dinner party with a friend, I am allowed to have those aren't I?" He added sarcastically.

Mace ignored his tone and continued his tirade.

"Do you know how this looks for us Skywalker?You, a Jedi Knight..." He scoffed "...sucking on the senator of Naboo all over the news..."

"What more can I say it's not true!" Anakin shouted, petulantly throwing his arms into the air. "So if you have quite finished interrogating me..." Anakin began to storm away from the podium.

"Skywalker!" Mace blasted full of venom and anger.

"An assignment for you the council has" Yoda interceded calmly. Anakin returned to the centre of the room and inclined his head to the leader of the Jedi council. Then Windu began to speak again and Anakin really just wanted to tell him that he was a wanker and would he just fuck right off of Anakin's ass and shit in someone elses.

He refrained.

"You are to accompany General Kenobi to Tatooine. You have been selected for your knowledge of the planet. We think whoever may be responsible for the disappearances in the senate could be using Tatooine as a base. Master Kenobi has a description and a mandate. You are to observe, not interact"

"Why?" Anakin questioned childlike.

"Because your mandate requires it of you!Young Skywalker" Windu bellowed.

"I apologise for my insolence" Anakin offered without meaning or the mandatory 'Master' as title.

"Your apology he accepts" Yoda interceded again quickly anxious to diffuse the situation. "leave immediately you will".

Anakin glowered at Obi-wan for the slightest of moments before turning on his heel to storm from the chamber, his cloak billowing out behind him.

Obi-wan palmed open the door to their apartment and entered with guilt ridden angst. Anakin was packing the few things he would need for the mission to his home planet. Obi-wan hung nervously in the doorway.

"Anakin..." He began, by way of an apology.

Anakin shut his case and charged passed Obi-wan into the common room.

"Anakin..." He reprised in an attempt to make amends.

"You should pack, Master Yoda said we were to leave immediately." He said calmly through his rush of emotion. "I'll go to the ship"

"Anakin wait" Obi-wan pleaded, "we need to talk".

"What is there to say Obi-wan? A downmarket reporter suggested I was fucking Padme and you chose to believe it without question. You didn't even ask me about it last night you just...you didn't trust me, and then you let Mace...thanks for nothing, Master"

Anakin chose to refer to Obi-wan by his title rather than his name and it stung Obi-wan in the midst of this tiff.

"I do trust you" Obi-wan sighed meekly.

"No you don't. I have never given you any reason to mistrust me, I have never wanted for somebody else and yet you buy into this trash as quickly as everyone else on that council did. How can I gain their respect and trust if I can't even expect it from you? The man that trained me, the man that lies with me, the man I let fuck me?Or am I just your whore Obi-wan?Do I just satisfy a need?"

"no of course..." Obi-wan began but Anakin hadn't finished.

"Do you know how much you hurt me in there? I thought I meant something to you and then you just blank me, leave me to that pack of wolves and all I'm thinking is 'he doesn't trust me', well you're a complete prick Obi-wan because I fucking love you you stupid bastard and I would never...I love you".

Anakin seized his luggage and stormed from the room. He had never said it before and Obi-wan had never felt more stupid. He had had no real reason to doubt Anakin it's just that ever since the surgery, well someone was comforting Anakin and it wasn't him. He chastised his jealousy as he realised that Anakin had merely found solace in a friend. Someone outside of the Order, someone with a different perspective. Everyone needed that occasionally, even himself.

He had his mandate in his hand but his first mission, long before the dual suns of Tatooine blighted the horizon, was to make up with the man he loved also.