"For her own breakfast she'll project a scheme, nor take her tea without a stratagem." - Edward Young
Jasmine: Okay, has anyone noticed my quotes? (Points to the top of the page) I've been trying to get them to sort of…represent each chappie. How have I been doing? I don't own Rurouni Kenshin (or Victoria's Secret). Next chappie, awaaaay!
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥
The Difference Between Love And Loathing: Chapter Five - Flirting
(With Saito, Misao, and Chou, in some mall, March 18, 2005…11:37 a.m.)
"There! I gotta go in that store, too!"
Saito Hajime wasn't enjoying his time at the mall with one Makimachi Misao, weasel-girl-to-rule-them-all, queen-of-the-exploding-soba, and payback-expert-extraordinaire.
"Hurry up, you slowpokes!"
Sawagejou Chou didn't look any better, slumped over in boredom as he was. At least there were women for him to look at. That was a small bonus, in any case. Especially when they grinned at him in that…certain way…hee hee…
"HEY! YOU CAN'T JUST LET ME WANDER OFF BY MYSELF! I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BODYGUARDS?" Misao huffed angrily and placed her hands on her hips, glaring back at the two stubborn men lounging languidly in chairs way behind her. "Come on! It won't take me that long!"
The Osakan crossed his arms over his chest, sighing slightly. Women an' their shoppin'… "Yeah, that's what ya' said fer th' last store…an' th' one bafore that…an' th' one bafore that! Sorry, but Ah ain't gonna go in another, ya'd have ta' pay meh first!" He nodded resolutely, showing her that he absolutely, positively, completely meant it.
Misao had only just met Chou that morning, but she already liked him better than Saito. Which was strange (but not that hard of a thing to do), since he was the detective's partner, and all…she figured that he'd be similar to the wolf…cold, mean, and sarcastic. Poor guy, having to work with the likes of such an…ass!
"Hn…baka itachi…this is the last store, and then we're leaving."
"Yeah, Ah'm freakin' bored…this ain't fun t'all!"
The ninja's face started going red, but then she calmed down when she realized exactly which store was next. "Heh heh…well, follow me, boys…I promise, this will be the final one." They didn't know what awaited them, where most men fear to tread…Victoria's Secret! Bwah-hah hah hah hah!
Saito fluidly rose from the chair with his natural (and maddening) grace, and languidly strolled over to the weasel, who, in turn, eyed him with barely restrained irritation. What the hell was the man planning? She could see the mischievous glint in his amber eyes, silently warning her of some kind of upcoming embarrassment. Oh hell, why did the wolf have to act like such a freaking predator? It had only been a day since she'd met him, but she was already sick of his sarcasm and damned teasing!
The said man smirked down at her as if reading her thoughts, and then finding that he enjoyed them immensely. "Ah, try to avoid having an outburst here, weasel…too many people are watching." The amusement was clearly evident in that annoyingly annoying deep voice of his…and it sent a wave of extremely annoying annoyance crashing through her…annoyingly.
To put it lightly, Makimachi Misao, weasel-girl-to-rule-them-all, queen-of-the-exploding-soba, and payback-expert-extraordinaire was not pleased…at all. She noisily growled under her breath and felt her face once again heat up with raw anger. "Let's. Just. GO!" The itachi grabbed angrily at one of the wolf's hands and proceeded to try and pull him into the nearest store (which just happened to be Victoria's Secret), but was sort of…failing to do so. Horribly, I might add.
Saito raised an eyebrow at Misao's antics, watching with a wide grin as she struggled fruitlessly to yank him from his standing position. He didn't budge, but she refused to give up. This moment was too good for the detective to pass up…he had to say something. "Want me this bad, itachi? I'm flattered."
"GAH! YOU BIG JEEEEERK!" She clasped her other hand around his larger one and pulled harder, digging her heels into the tile floor as she did so. Both the wolf and the weasel ignored the strange looks that passersby threw at them, for they were completely absorbed in their little…scene.
Chou, meanwhile, felt completely left out. He fingered his now shorter locks of hair in agitation, angrily (though not purposely, of course) twisting the blond strands into little knots. Ah yes, he had gotten a haircut. Not much of a haircut, though, as he had left his bangs fairly long, so they flopped in front of his eyes. The rest was in sort of a shaggy cut, earning him the nickname of "Mop-head" from his bird-headed roommate, Sagara Sanosuke. Che, as if he should beh talkin'…his hair's more spikier and stranger-lookin' than mahne…
After a few more minutes of meaningless tug-of-war (mostly on Misao's part), the Osakan growled in frustration and jumped up from his chair. "Would you two stop flirtin', please? Let's just finish up the damn shoppin' already! Mah head hurts!"
Both turned to glare at him, and two almost identical black auras immediately appeared.
The blond sweat dropped at the evil looks. "Err, eh-heh?"
After Chou had shrunk sufficiently, Saito turned his glare back down upon the little weasel. "I am not going in there!" He pointed over at the Victoria's Secret store…the same one Misao had just attempted to bodily drag him into. He had acted as if he hadn't known what she was planning, but he knew…the wolf always knew. Nothing could ever surprise him. He was good like that.
The itachi let go of his hand and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Damn! It almost worked, too…ah, but I have another idea… "What if I got attacked while I was in there, huh?" Ha! Beat that, Wolf-boy!
He crossed his arms as well. "You'd be on your own." Hn, try something better, weasel.
She stuck her tongue out at him. Just watch me. "If I got hurt, Kondo'd be pretty pissed. You might even lose your job!"
Moments later, all three were in the store, and Misao was feeling quite triumphant…
…While Chou was wondering exactly why the hell he was with them. Not that he was complaining any, for the women in Victoria's Secret were decidedly nicer than the ones outside it.
The weasel immediately darted over to the underwear aisle, successfully hiding her victorious grin from the livid-looking wolf. Oh, vengeance was certainly sweet, indeed. Misao had given the detective exactly what he deserved: complete and utter embarrassment!
Saito, meanwhile, was leaning impassively against the doorframe back at the front of the store, surveying the area cautiously with his wolfish eyes. Damn, he needed a cigarette. Badly. Stupid itachi-musume, dragging him into this…place. Hn. Speaking of which… "Would you hurry up, weasel? I don't want to spend anymore time in here then I have to."
Misao turned around and regarded him with slight anger. "What, you don't want me to have any underwear?"
"No, not really."
"…YOU PERVERT!"
The Osakan was listening in intently on the conversation, not really taking part in it, and suddenly burst into laughter. This was too much! Were his partner and the little weasel actually flirting? It sure seemed like it!Before, he had only been kidding!Ah well…who was he to ruin their fun? They sure seemed to be enjoying themselves…
…And the checkout lady looked like she was bored…
"Hn, itachi, quiet down. People are staring at you."
"STARING AT ME? YOU BASTARD! THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY LOOKING AT YOU BECAUSE…B-BECAUSE…"
"Can't think of a comeback, weasel? Heh, pathetic."
Chou ambled over to the checkout counter and leaned against it casually. "So…been workin' here long, beaut'ful?"
The woman glanced up, slightly irritated that she had been disrupted while reading her magazine. "Excuse me?" She stopped chewing her gum for a second to blow a good-sized bubble, allowing it to pop before bringing it back into her mouth.
The Osakan happily looked her up and down, blissfully ignoring the annoyed glare she sent his way. She wore a decidedly low-cut red shirt, displaying her assets to the general public. Her tight, black jeans set off the rest of her figure, and the green lipstick she wore gave her an exotic look. Ah, Victoria's Secret was the best place to find girls, that was for sure. Of course, you had to have the guts to even enter the store, first, but the prizes inside were definitely worth it.
"Hiya there, th' name's Sawagejou Chou. Nahce ta' meetcha, gorgeous." He grinned lazily at her and winked slyly. Hah! No woman can resist th' ole Osakan charm..
One of her eyebrows went up. "Komagata Yumi. I suppose it's…nice to meet you, too." She licked her lips suggestively, and then brought her head down to rest it upon one of her fists. She studied the man before her, quite liking what she saw. Hmm, definitely not bad. Icertainly couldhave worse lookingguys hitting on me.
"HEY! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE JUST AN UGLY BEHEMOTH, SO THERE!"
"…'Ugly behemoth'?"
"YEAH! HAH! NYAAAAAH!"
"You are such a juvenile little girl, itachi. I wouldn't expect a woman to stick her tongue out at me."
Yumi's eyebrow went higher up, and she looked over at the feuding wolf and weasel with a bit of astonishment. "…Do you know them?"
The Osakan paused for a second, debating whether or not to admit it. He decided on the negative. "…Nope. Never seen 'em bafore in mah lahfe."
"JUVENILE? HOW DARE YOU, YOU STUPID…UGLY…BEHEMOTH, YOU!"
"Hn. Come up with a better insult then that, weasel. It's starting to get old."
"JERK!"
"That one, too."
Chou sweat dropped. "So, darlin', can Ah have yer number? Ah'd lahke ta' go out with ya', some tahme. That is, if'n yer free." A smirk graced his lips. C'mon, babe, ya' know ya' cain't resist meh.
"Actually, I already have a boyfriend, stud. Oh, Shishio-sama!"
A man suddenly entered the store from a door in the back labeled "Employees Only", and approached the counter. Except, in a disturbing way, he didn't really look like a man, from what Chou could see. Ugly burns covered his face, morphing it into some kind of disturbing parody of a normal human's visage. Shishio (for the Osakan figured that this was, indeed, the man Yumi had called out to) took one look at Chou, and then grinned. A horrifyingly bloodcurdling grin, too, one that had the poor blond wishing that he was anywhere but Victoria's Secret, at the moment.
"This guy bothering you, dear?" The burnt man placed his glove-clad hand on Yumi's shoulder possessively. "I could kill him. In fact, I'd like that very much." And, by the tone of his voice, that sentence seemed dreadfully true.
The Osakan developed little blue lines under his eyes. How the hell did he always get into these messes? First getting Saito for a partner, and now this…the homicidal, burn-covered boyfriend of the hottest woman Chou had ever seen was about to beat his face in. Probably with a metal pipe.
Yumi laughed kittenishly, seemingly unable to see that the poor blond wanted nothing more then to leave the store; preferably with all of his limbs attached. "Oh honey, it's fine. He was only hitting on me, you know how it is. I merely wanted to show him that I was taken!" She batted her eyelashes at the Osakan, and Chou, in turn, paled at the, "I-will-kill-you-now-you-dirty-scumbag!" look Shishio gave him.
Mental note ta' self: Victoria's Secret is a good place ta' fahnd the gurls, but an extremely bad place ta' hit on 'em…
"JUST…SHUT UP, ALREADY! I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO HURRY? WELL, I CAN'T HURRY IF YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF!"
"Hn. I'm just stating the facts, itachi. You're too childish to be twenty-five."
"DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE THIS METAL COATHANGER AND SHOVE IT SIDEWAYS UP YOUR ASS?"
"I think you'd enjoy that."
Chou tried to smile innocently up at the scary man, silently trying to assure him that he had absolutely no intention of stealing his girlfriend. "R-right then, m-mebbe Ah should jus'…eh-heh…go…?"
"Yeah, I think you should," Shishio couldn't help but smirk as he wrapped an arm around Yumi's bare shoulders. She leaned contentedly into him. "I'll give you five seconds to get ten feet from this counter. Ready? One, two…"
"B-but, eh?"
"Your time's running out. Three, four…"
The blonde squeaked slightly and took off running, nearly crashing into Misao in his haste to escape mortal peril. Damn! He was a freakin' cop, he should've been arresting that guy, not fleeing from him! …It was so Yumi would be happy, that was it. Not because he was afraid to, or anything. Really.
Shishio's leer widened. "Heh, normally I only get to two before they freak out and scamper away. I hope I'm not losing my touch."
The flirtatious woman giggled and lightly hit him on the chest. "He was just a bit braver than the others. Don't look so down, honey. You're still plenty scary enough to drive them off."
Meanwhile, back on the other end of the store, the weasel was glaring heatedly up at Chou, irate that he had disturbed her and Saito's fight. "HEY! What the hell's wrong with you, Mop-head?"
Oh, great, now she's callin' meh bah that stupid nickname, too! "Well, fer yer infermat'n, itachi, Ah was jus' nearly killed bah some freaky-ass burnt-guy! So, GIT OFFA MAH CASE, DAMMIT!"
The wolf had to chuckle at that. "'Freaky-ass burnt-guy', eh? Sounds like quite an adventure, Ahou." What had Chou been up to while Saito was arguing with the little weasel?It was amazing what one baka could accomplish in such a short amount of time.
Misao, for the moment, was trying to ignore them both and return to her shopping. Men: complete idiots, the lot of them. If only women didn't need them to reproduce, for the world would be so much better without their moronic ways to screw it up. Ah well, best to not dwell on such matters. If there weren't males in the world, then she wouldn't have her beloved Aoshi-sama!
The mere thought of him made her feel warm, and she wished that he were there with her instead of Saito and Chou. She hadn't even told Aoshi that she now had a bodyguard, that some guy wanted to kill her…
But why? Why was she, of all people, the next target? Sure, she was fairly wealthy, however The Akuma didn't seem to want money, of that she was certain. He had killed women from all stretches of life: poor, middle-class, rich, and everything in-between. It just wasn't fair. Nobody should be allowed to slaughter as he did. So many innocent women had fallen before his blade, and Misao was going to make sure that no more would meet their deaths because of him.
As long as she could fight, she would do so until her last breath.
"Lost in thought are we, Misao?"
…And maybe Saito would help her, if he'd stop being such a jerk…
There was only one way to find out. And when that moment came, they'd be ready.
No matter what.
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥¥
Jasmine: (Yawns) I hope ya'll liked it. Now, I'm going to bed. Leave a review…if I get happy enough, I might make the next chappie quite…interesting. Well, 'till next time, loyal reviewers…this is Jasmine Reinier, signing off.
"People only have hope…because they cannot see Death standing behind them."