"Life is a phobia of emotions. If you hide from them, you lose everything; if you face them, you get stronger." - Anonymous

Jasmine: I'm glad you guys liked last chappie! It was actually quite fun to write…(Sweat drop) …who'd ever think that I actually do LOVE Aoshi? Hmm…And I'm sure everyone would enjoy a little Saito/Misao almost-huggle-ness…I am experiencing a lack of fluff, lately…bad Jasmine shouldn't read so much angst! I don't own Rurouni Kenshin and you'll only find the next chappie if you follow the directions on this sheet of paper! (Hands it over) Toodles!

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The Difference Between Love And Loathing - Chapter Eight: Comfort

(With Saito and Misao at the ninja's house, March 18, 2005…9:42 p.m.)

Saito cautiously entered the living room and gracefully flopped down into the nearest armchair, sighing soundlessly as he lit another cigarette. He could still hear her crying no matter how hard she tried to hide her sobs from him. Misao, the object of his thoughts,lay slumped over in a pathetic ball on her burgundy couch, squishy pillow crunched tightly to her chest and face buried deep into its soft warmth, desperately seeking to stifle the cries of her shaking, quivering body. It seemed that that loss of Shinomori was taking more of a toll on her than the wolf first thought it would. But why was she acting so upset over such a man that obviously didn't deserve her affections? This confounded the detective to no end and his thoughts merely traveled around in infinite, meaningless circles, never finding the answer to his question.

And then there were her tears. Tears were things that Saito was in no way ever very good at handling, especially when it was a woman who was producing them. Misao's wretched sobs tugged at his supposedly nonexistent heartstrings and he groaned in frustration when he realized that he actually cared that she was so distressed. That definitely wasn't a good thing, for now he had the sudden urge to comfort her in any way he could. What had he done when Tokio was distraught about something…?

Tokio…he hadn't thought about her in at least a day and that fact shocked him to the core. Normally the guilt would weigh him down before he forced himself to focus on other things, but this, this had been different, somehow. Was it – in some strange, abstract way – Misao's doing? Had her perky attitude and constantly annoying actions actually blocked his former wife from his mind, albeit for just a little while?

Saito took a deep drag from the cigarette and languidly blew the smoke into the air, a growl forming low in his throat. Bah, this was just too much. Being a bodyguard meant that one was supposed to protect a client from harm…that was all. The books stated nothing about the condition of their emotions or that the guardian was supposed to care about said emotions in any way.

…But the soft keening noises emanating from the general area of the couch weren't helping the wolf's nerves any and he ran a hand through his hair in aggravation, causing a few more ebony strands to fall back into his eyes. It was no good. He would have to do something to console the weasel, for hejust couldn't bring himself to ignore her any longer. With another groan he pushed himself from the cozy squishiness of the armchair and started for the kitchen, sighing quietly as he walked over to the fridge. What would Kondo say if he were to find the wolf committing such a caring act…?

"Hn. Probably that I'm going soft or something idiotic like that," he grumbled under his breath, searching the contents of the refrigerator with a practiced eye. Milk, cucumbers, a peach, some pieces of cheese, chocolate sauce… "…Hmm…?" He leaned forward and grasped the strangely-shaped brown bottle, pulled it from its place on the bottom shelf, and set it on the counter near the appliance. Now…justone more thing…The wolf straightened and reached for the freezer, deftly swung it open, and retrieved a gallon of double-chocolate ice cream from its frosty confines. This will do nicely.

Mysteriously retrieving an ice cream scoop from places unknown, he nimbly doled out a generous amount of the stuff into a large bowl and then proceeded to half-heartedly drizzle the chocolate sauce over it. He still couldn't believe that he was doing this for the weasel. But that wasn't the worst part.

No, the worst part was that he was actually enjoying it.

It felt almost good – in a twisted sort of manner, mind you, as Saito didn't particularly like Fate's sense of humorlately – to be able to comfort and protect another woman. He had failed utterly and completely with Tokio, but maybe this would be his chance to make things right again. And he despised his logic at this point. Was he truly trying to atone for his wife's untimely death? Dammit, these thoughts were getting him nowhere and there would be time for them much later. He had a crying weasel to attend to.

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Misao had in no way ever felt so wretched as she did right now and the intensity of her emotions terrified her. She clutched the pillow tighter to her chest and emitted a weak sob, ignoring the way her throat contracted painfully at the outburst. She had been crying for an extremely long time and it seemed as though the emptiness inside her heart would never be filled up again. Would she be forced to spend the rest of her life alone and purposeless? It just wasn't fair…didn't she deserve happiness after loving Aoshi like she had…and still did?

The itachi squeaked in surprise at the sound of an impatiently cleared throat, reluctantly released her hold on the pillow, and slowly looked up to gaze into guarded amber eyes. "…U-umm…" Saito's harsh stare was so intent that she nearly quailed beneath it. Was he going to tease her now, tell her how dim-witted and pathetic she had been to allow herself to grovel at Aoshi's feet? Surely he wasn't so cruel… "…What do you want, Saito…?" Her voice was horribly raspy and she coughed a few times to clear it.

Without a word, the wolf set the bowl of ice cream on top of the table and elegantly plopped down next to the weasel. He brought his arms behind his head, propped his feet up, and casually leaned back, making himself comfortable. "…I merely wish to impart a peace offering, nothing more. This is a…hard time for you and I want to make sure that you're all right." Dammit, that had come out wrong. He really needed work on his people skills.

Misao's heart seemed to stop and she couldn't help but blink owlishly in confusion. Just great…now her ears were rebelling against her again! Surely the detective hadn't said what she thought he said? The very idea of it was preposterous! "Wh-what was that…?" she stuttered, angrily wiping at her face to hide its redness.

"You heard me, itachi. So stop crying, eat the ice cream, and get over Shinomori because that blubbering of yours is going to drive me up a wall." Saito twitched slightly, mentally flinching at his own harsh words. Oh, if he was looking for a reaction, he would most definitely get one.

"HEY! Y-YOU JERK! I WAS NOT CRYING, OKAY? I J-JUST HAD SOMETHING IN MY EYE!" As if to stubbornly contradict her flustered statement, a lone tear welled up and slowly formed a wet trail down her cheek, sparkled dazzlingly once, and fell without a sound to the light-blue carpet. The wolf watched it drop with carefully shielded emotions. To Misao, his blank expression appeared callous, and a surge of blind anger momentarily overrode her pain. "…You know what? You're just…y-you're just…heartless, Saito!" Immediately regretting her spiteful proclamation, the weasel swiftly took up the bowl and began to inhale the ice cream to avoid looking at him.

Well, that one had stung considerably. The wolf, however, wisely remained silent and simply shrugged with false indifference. "Whatever you say, itachi. I'm merely here to do my job, and nothing more. What you think of me is of no importance, nor do I particularly care." Attempting to ignore the fact that he was lying through his teeth, the wolf averted his eyes from the weasel and an awkward silence ensued.

Misao sadly finished the last of her ice cream, licked the remaining stickiness from her spoon, and shakily placed the bowl back upon the table, knowing in her heart what she had to do. Saito hadn't meant to come off as a jerk…at least, with the way he was acting now, it didn't seem like it. And he was actually trying to be nice for a change. Even though he was failing quite horribly, it was touching that he was truly trying to attempt kindness…

"U-umm…Saito? …Sorry…I-I didn't mean that…really, I d-didn't. I guess…I-I was just kinda mad, ya' know? …Please forget I said it…"

When the wolf pointedly disregarded her words, she sighed in irritated resolution. Well, if he wasn't going to forgive her without being difficult, then she'd just have to take some extreme measures!

Baka itachi musume. Why was trying to apologize for something that she so obviously believed to be true? It was…stupid! By the tone of her voice, he could tell that she meant to say it and had meant every word. Hn. Not that he cared, of course. She was, after all, entitled to her own opinion.

Even if said opinion was exactly the same as Tokio's had been.

So then it must be true, ne? Look at you, you're being so pathetic over some little girl's trivial judgment…

Misao slowly edged over to the wolf and grinned evilly to herself when she realized that he hadn't noticed her yet. This was certainly going to be interesting…

"Heartless", she called you. Scary how similar they are, huh? And you're still simply terrified of hearing the truth… That's just sad.

She carefully – ever so carefully – lowered herself (but none too gracefully, sadly) into his lap and hurriedly flung her arms around him, wincing only slightly when he jerked violently in surprise. Ha! So the wolf was huggable, after all! Hey, this isn't half-bad. He's a lot warmer than he looks…

Saito was thrown abruptly from his thoughts and into reality so fast, his head spun, and it took him a few seconds to figure out what had transpired. He snarled at the suddencuddling and glared down at the weasel-girl snuggled oh-so-happily into his chest. "What the hell, itachi! What are you doing?" More importantly, what was she thinking? Nothing, obviously, for only one without a brain would dare to endeavor something such as this!

Her answer came out muffled by his shirt, but he caught it nonetheless, "What does it look like, you crazy cop? I'm hugging you and there's nothin' you can do about it!"

The wolf considered throwing her off just to prove how wrong she was, but sensibly decided against it for fear of making her cry again. "And just why are you hugging me, exactly…?"

"…Because you wouldn't accept my apology!" Misao wrapped her arms tighter around him and buried her face his further into his torso, inhaling slightly to catch his scent. She was surprised by her own actions, and idly wondered what her actual reasons for them were. Was the whole apology thing simply an excuse to hug the detective? It wasn't as though he was complaining, or anything…at least, he hadn't moved a muscle, yet.

Saito growled in annoyance when he figured out that the weasel had no intention of leaving anytime soon. So now he had to settle not only for babysitting her, but he also had to be her own personal teddy bear? Even though the mental image that that thought brought about was quite amusing, the wolf didn't particularly like its implications. "Let go of me this instant, itachi!"

But the weasel didn't want to release him. "No way! I'm staying right here, so stop griping!"

"Get. Off. Of. Me!"

Misao leisurely lifted her head from his chest and gazed at him with huge, pleading, watery blue-green eyes. "B-but…why, Saito-san? Please l-let me stay, just for a b-bit longer…?" She used the best whining voice she could muster and widened her eyes even more, knowing that he would cave easily beneath them. No man could stand against the puppy-dog look.

The wolf could see that she wouldn't give up until she had her way, and he angrily rubbed at his temples, mentally preparing himself for an early grave. "Fine, itachi…fine. You can stay, I suppose." So what if he was enjoying her closeness just a little bit too much than he should be? It wasn't as though it was a crime or anything, liking a woman's touch…

"Thanks, Saito." The smile in her voice was evident and he scowled.

"…Hn. Whatever, weasel…"

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Jasmine: (Teary eyes) I am SO sorry that this is SO late! I've had an EXTREME amount of homework lately and haven't had any time to write! I apologize for that, I apologize for the shortness of this chappie, and I apologize also for the CRAPPINESS of this chappie! The next one'll be better, I promise! Well, until next time, loyal reviewers…this is Jasmine Reinier, signing off! (Everyone gets a plushie, YAY! They'll be in my bio in a day or two!)

"People only have hope…because they cannot see Death standing behind them…"