Neon Genesis Evangelion: Horizon of Eternity
by Bardic
TIMELINE: It's been a few years since I've seen the series, so bear with me. The fic takes place during the anime episode where the angel "rapes" Asuka's mind, and forces NERV to deploy the Lance of Longinus to destroy it. I've tried to get as much of the facts in the Anime as I could, but please point out some stuff that I missed.
Update: This was part of the story that I wrote a couple of years ago. It had to go through much editing though, so it took me quite a while to get it up. Sorry for the delay.
Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to Gainax and Hideaki Anno. This is simply a piece of fanfiction based on the series. There, now since that's out of the way...
Chapter 01: A Crying Doll
-
"If you don't speak your mind to her, your Eva won't move"
- Rei Ayanami
-
For Asuka Langly Soryuu, it seemed that the confines of the elevator were stifling and uncomfortable. For one thing, the lights along the corners and in the ceiling seemed to shine a tad too bright. Also, the steady hum of the elevator as it made its way upwards was totally irritating. All that and more; there were simply too many reasons to name. Yet she knew that the lousy interior of a NERV elevator was not enough of a cause to fuel her anger. Her ire, she admitted to herself, was focused on the other person who shared the space with her.
Rei Ayanami stood calmly in front of the elevator door, waiting for her turn to get off. She did not say a word since Asuka determinedly entered the lift a short time ago, which suited the redhead just fine.
-If that's what she wants, then I'll be damned if I speak up first!- she thought grimly as she leaned on one wall, crossing her arms under her chest. Moments passed with no sound at all except for the elevator hum. Asuka gritted her teeth to keep from screaming with frustration as the awkward silence continued to stretch. She tried putting the First Child off her mind, but as she did other thoughts that she did not want to think about quickly replaced them.
She was losing it. All her hard work with her Eva and now she can't even handle one angel. All that effort to become the best, and now Shinji was far better than her. NERV can't even depend on her anymore. They'd send in Shinji for the job so that the mission won't fail. Never her now. All she would be now is backup, and with the rate that her Sync Ratio was dropping it won't be long before even Rei would be better than her.
That last bit made her anger flare again. -Never! I'll never be that pathetic! It isn't my fault anyway; it's the Eva's fault! I'm doing everything right, and the Eva's messing up my Sync Ratios!- she reasoned furiously. -I swear, if NERV would only fix my Eva properly I would regain my skill and be even better than Shinji,...-
"If you do not speak your mind to her, your Eva won't move."
The sudden break in silence surprised her, and it took Asuka a few moments to recover from being snapped out of her reverie. She rounded on Rei in a fury.
"You think I'm not trying?" her voice quivering with bottled rage. "You think its my fault?"
"Your Eva has a mind of its own." Rei answered calmly, her back still towards Asuka. "It knows you, and would only respond if you respond."
"That's stupid." Asuka sneered. "Eva's don't think. Why would they? Why would a weapon need to think?" Silence answered her. "Don't you try to ignore me!" More silence. Asuka straightened angrily and grabbed the other girl's shoulder, spinning Rei around to face her. "Just because you're Commander Ikari's favorite doesn't mean you have the right to act so aloof and ignore me, you doll!"
Unflinching red eyes met blue. "I'm not Commander Ikari's favorite." Rei's replied in her soft, almost dead voice. "And I'm not a doll."
If anything the answer fueled Asuka's rage all the more. "Yeah right! I can't believe that came from you! If I knew better, you'd kill yourself if the Commander tells you to drop dead!"
"Yes, I will."
The answer was as direct as a slap in the face. Asuka's eyes widened in disbelief and outrage. "Why you..." She growled, directing a full-armed slap at Rei. The sharp crack of its impact rang inside the elevator.
Asuka almost didn't notice the elevator door open, and when she did she slowly backed out, not even bothering to check which floor she was on. Her eyes never left the blue haired girl's impassive face even as one side started to redden from the blow.
There was no change. She WAS like a god damned doll.
"I hate you, you hypocrite!" Still no change. "I hate you! I hate everyone!" Rei's face remained an impassive mask.
Asuka fled down the long hallway, not being able to stand Rei's eyes any longer.
--
"We may have to replace the Pilot for Unit 2." Ritsuko spoke, her voice nearly lost in the vastness of the room she stood in.
As of late she seemed to grow accustomed to the Commander's office. She ignored the sheer size of the room itself, almost as large as the Central Dogma. The Diagram engraved on the polished, black marble floor hardly caught her attention as well. She was even used to the room's meager lighting, although it made reading from reports a pain. The only thing really different was that the Commander's desk, the only item in the room, only had one person behind it.
"She's useful as long as she can synchronize with her Eva." Gendou Ikari answered behind steepled fingers. "Besides, there are no ready spares to replace her with yet."
The callous reply made her pause. "If her current Sync Ratio drop average holds," Ritsuko began again," then we expect her to lose her ability to Sync with her Eva by the next 2 tests. As it is, her current Sync Ratio dropped from 72.06 to 60.17 within the space of 4 days. Today would be her fifth test to see if there are any improvements."
"Continue with the tests. If an angel attacks then have Unit 00 take point and assign Unit 02 as backup."
Even though inside she struggled with warring emotions, Ritsuko knew full well how futile it was to try to dissuade the Commander. "Understood." her own reply sounding hollow to her ears. She turned to leave.
"What is the remodelled Eva 03's ETA?" the Commander suddenly asked behind her.
"From the last status report they were about 2 hours from the 3rd NERV Experimental Base in Chuumon."
"Change them. Tell the pilots to deliver the Unit here at Tokyo 03."
Ritsuko's eyes widened incredulously. "You mean to activate Unit 03 here at the main base?" she asked, turning back to the desk. This time her usual restraint went off the window. "What of the risks involved? What if the disaster with the previous Unit 03 happened here? Inside the Geofront?" she demanded.
"The First Branch in America confirmed their success in the Unit's initial activation." Gendou answered, unruffled as always.
"Still, I highly recommend that we do the reactivation procedures away from the main base. The last incident was proof enough. If anything happens.."
"If such risk exists it is worth taking, especially in the condition we are in." he interrupted. "Unit 01 is to remain frozen until an emergency scenario requires it to be freed. We need every Unit we could use to fight and stop another angel attack."
"But Commander.." she insisted.
"You have your orders, Dr. Akagi." the Gendou cut in, his voice suddenly cold.
Ritsuko stood still as her mind raced. While the risks were high she also hated the fact that she agreed with him: they absolutely have to use all the Evas they could put their hands on if they were to raise their chances of surviving another angel attack. With a barely audible sigh she conceded yet again, and with a nod left the Commander's office to oversee his instructions.
---
The mournful song of the chelo filled the air as Shinji played the instrument, his fingers gliding along its strings. Mournful yet elegant and beautiful in its purity. He lost himself in the music, letting it calm him as his hesitant hands slowly gained the confidence he thought he left behind years ago. Memories flickered along the edges of his awareness, all seemingly pleasant and tranquil with never a hint of Evas or Angels. The boy barely paid any attention to any of them as he continued to play, making music that he never knew he was capable of.
Playing to forget, even for just a moment, who and what he was.
The apartment he shared with Misato and Asuka was empty save for himself. He tried his best to keep the rooms as neat as possible, never allowing it to become as messy as when he first walked in. He thought that because he was alone there was this empty feeling in the air, yet he knew that even if all of them were present the emptiness would remain. He sadly realized that even though the music of the chelo was indeed beautiful and soothing it would never replace the feeling of the home he thought he had found a few months ago. He wondered if things would ever go back to the way they were; when laughter and welcome still filled the apartment.
Idle thoughts started to creep into Shinji's mind as he continued to play, the pleasant now mixed with the unpleasant that he would rather leave alone, yet was helpless as the melancholic song coaxed them to surface.
Thoughts about Asuka. About how she seemed to be someone he could talk to even if at times she could be difficult. He somehow felt that she was never really angry with him, at least not until his Sync Ratio topped hers.
About Rei. About how he felt towards her and her relationship with his father, and how he thought of her as a co-pilot and maybe as a friend.
About Asuka being a friend and how he felt for her as a co-pilot.
About Misato. About how he felt towards her being his guardian, about how he could or couldn't imagine her as a mother, about how he hesitates at being her friend because she's older than him.
About his father, and how much pain and loneliness their relationship brought.
About NERV, and the people working in there. About Kaji, Ritsuko, Maya and many others.
About school, and how he stopped going to class since the day he got out of the Infirmary.
About his friends and how they were doing.
About Toji, and Eva 01.
His hands jerked still, cutting off the music raggedly. For a couple of moments the only sound in the room was that of Shinji's quiet breathing as memories flooded his mind, dark and violent. How he was helpless to stop what was done to his friend. How he watched as Eva 01's hand crushed Eva 03's entryplug with Toji still inside. Then the bitter memory of how he begged his father to get into Eva 01 again to stop the Angel from destroying the whole human race. Of how he accepted his place as one of few people with the capability of preventing the tragedy of another Second Impact from happening. How the responsibility of protecting the whole human race, something that should have been in NERV's capable hands or his father's, or even in some adult's hands who would know better, was suddenly thrusted to him and his co-pilots.
He heard the wooden floorboards behind him creak as someone else stepped into the room.
"That was very beautiful, Shinji. I never knew that you played the chelo." Misato said as she approached him. "Why did you stop?"
Shinji felt a twinge of delight and embarassment from the praise. "I'm not really good at it. It's been quite a while since I last played; I almost thought I've forgotten how." he replied. Unbidden memories flashed again, about covering his ears to block away Misato's cries of grief about Kaji's death. About convincing himself that couldn't help her while deep inside he knew he understood her pain. "So," he forced himself to ask, "how come you're early? I thought that you'd be up for an all-nighter today?"
Misato took the chair beside Shinji before answering. "They had to change the schedule for today. They suspended all routine activities except for Asuka's Sync Ratio test, so I guess I'm free." she shrugged.
Shinji's voice lost some of its forced cheerfulness. "How is she?"
"Her test results are getting pretty bad." Misato admitted. "She's been regressing for the past week. We're hoping that this'll blow over soon."
"Then I guess that means she's still angry with me." Shinji sighed.
"Don't worry about that. Hopefully she'll get her first good news by the end of today's test and be back in good spirits before you know it."
Shinji didn't want to think about what would happen if Asuka actually lost her ability to pilot Eva 02. Silence stretched awkwardly for a bit and Shinji forced another question out to fill the quiet.
"What's with today? Why did they cancel all routines?"
From out of the corner of his eye he saw Misato study him for a moment before answering. "They want all NERV's attention in overseeing the reactivation and testing of the new Eva 03 that's arriving here later."
"Eh? A new Eva 03's going to arrive here today?" For the first time in days Shinji was truly surprised. "When?"
"I've only heard about it yesterday myself. As for when, I guess it's about an hour from here."
Several strong emotions boiled inside Shinji as he was about to ask his next question. There was fear and anger, anxiety and curiosity. However hesitant he might seem about this conversation, he really didn't care how how this would sound to Misato.
"Who's the pilot? Somebody I know?"
Misato took a moment to study him again before answering. "Don't worry about that. It seems that America has a pilot for it and is sending her along with the Eva. Just like with Asuka in Germany."
"Her?"
"I think her name's Faye. Do you want to meet her?"
Shinji imagined how the new pilot would look like. At the thought of meeting her conflicting feelings clashed inside him. However, his eagerness was once again shadowed by his anxiety.
"Nevermind. I guess I'll just stay here. I'll get to meet her sooner or later anyway."
Silence blanketed the room again as neither spoke for a few long moments, Shinji staring at the chelo in his hands and Misato continuing to study him. Then as if to mock his words the cry of NERV's alarm siren drifted from Tokyo 03. Their moment of stillness lingered as both listened quietly to the siren's call.
"Well, looks like you're going to have to meet her today." Misato said seriously as she stood up.
Shinji stood with her, gently laying the chelo aside. For a few moments as he played he almost forgot who he was. Now, the wail of the siren was a grim reminder of the responsibility he accepted. He almost wished he could run away, but he knew now that if he did there would be no one else who would save humanity from the angels.
----
NERV's Central Dogma was a picture of ordered chaos by the time Ritsuko arrived. Tension hung taut in the air as personnel worked with frenzied intensity, doing what they were trained to do at such situations. Their actions spoke of veteran efficiency borne from previous missions, and she wasted no time in directing that experience.
"What's the status of the angel?"
"The target was sighted in low earth orbit over point of origin in the Pacific about 48 minutes ago." Hyuuga answered from his post. The main screen promtly changed to a satellite-camera view of the angel, which was something that looked like a huge bird of light. "It is presently 5 kms east of Tokyo - 03 and holding its position. Besides that, we have no other data."
Ritsuko studied screen for a moment. "What's our chance of interception?"
It was Maya who answered this time. "MAGI calculates the current interception percentage of sortied Evangelion units at 34.09 percent."
Ritsuko turned to the sound of the main door opening and found a slightly winded Misato.
"You're late." the blonde said flatly.
"Sorry." Misato gasped as she made her way next to her friend. "We were in the apartment when the alarm went off."
"We?"
"Shinji. Don't worry about him. He's already in the Boarding Area. So what's our status?"
Ritsuko took a moment to brief Misato regarding their current findings before turning to address the sortied pilots.
"Listen up. This is how the operation would go. Units 00 and 02 would simply wait in two areas: point and backup. Both units are to be equipped with the latest model of the self propelled positron cannon. If point fails, then backup must finish the target within the next shot. Understood?"
Both Rei and Asuka answered affirmative.
"Good." Ritsuko continued. "Now, Rei would be point. Asuka, you're backup."
"What! No way! I'll be point! Launching!" Asuka replied as she promptly launched her Eva to the surface.
"Asuka...!" Ritsuko barked.
"Let her take point." Misato interrupted, touching the other woman's shoulder. "It might be good for her, you know."
Ritsuko studied Misato's face for a moment, then sighed in agreement. "Alright. Rei, you'll be backup then."
"Understood." Rei answered before launching.
"I hope you know what you're doing." Ritsuko said as she turned to study the angel in the main screen. Misato remained silent, her eyes on the main screen as well.
"What's the status of Eva 03?" the Commander suddenly asked from his position.
"The transport ship was advised to head back to Chuumon due to our current situation." one personnel answered.
"Change the orders. Tell them to circle the perimeter of Tokyo 03 by 4 kms on the opposite side of the angel and ready Unit 03 for emergency activation."
"Understood, commander."
The two women shot veiled glances at Gendou as the order was given. Turning back to study the main screen where the angel remained in focus, Ritsuko heard Misato muttering her own statement a few moments past.
"I hope you know what you're doing."
Like before, the blonde scientist knew that there would be no answer.
-----
Asuka could hear her blood pound as she waited inside her Eva. No further orders were given since Ritsuko told her to wait for the operation's go signal. As it was, she knew she was very lucky that NERV Command let this breach in protocol pass without even a minor upbraiding, but then Asuka had nothing else to lose. It was either win this battle or remain as backup forever. Or maybe something even worse.
"Well, I'm here now. I'll show them all. I'll beat that angel by myself." she whispered.
Eva 02 lay in a prone sniping position covered in the shadow of a dummy building. The Eva's hands gripping the new positron cannon was steady and calm, in stark contrast to how Asuka felt presently. A few hundred meters behind lay her backup; Eva-00 was concealed even more than she was.
NERV's contingency plan in case she fails.
"Don't even think about failing." she harshly berated herself. "You can do it. It's just one angel. After this, everything will return to the way they were."
"Asuka!" the comm-screen with Central Dogma suddenly popped up, showing Misato's face as she gave the signal. "The angel has entered firing range. You know what to do."
"Of course! How hard can this be?" Asuka answered as she activated the targeting computer for the weapon, forcing every bit of her usual confidence in her voice while actually feeling none of it. She focused her attention on the computer's display system, watching as it computed the firing trajectory of hitting the angel.
"C'mon, c'mon...why the hell is this thing taking so long!" Asuka waited tensely, still watching the computations in front of her. Unwanted images flashed in her mind: of her suddenly being struck down by the angel, not even being able to fire because the computer was actually broken. Of her prematurely firing the weapon even before the lock-on. Those and similar thoughts played on her imagination and caused further emotional pressure, but somehow she was able to remain immobile until the computer finally gave the lock-on signal.
"FIRE!" Asuka screamed as she released all those pent-up emotions in one pull of the trigger. She braced herself as the recoil tried to push her back, and at the same time a bright beam of energy streaked from the mouth of the weapon, making its way towards the enemy.
It only took a few moments for the beam to reach low earth orbit. Then after a few more moments it proceeded to streak past its supposed target by a few hundred feet.
For a moment all that Asuka could do was gape uncomprehendingly at the lock-on signal still displayed on the computer. Then fear rode her emotions as she made a move to fire again. There was no response as she pulled the trigger. "Damn!", she cried frantically as she continued to pull at the trigger. "Damn! Cool down already! I have to kill that thing! I have to..."
A beam of what looked like sunlight shot from the angel and shined down on Eva 02. Asuka had a moment to actually feel SOMETHING move around her mind before she screamed in horror. Any attempt to stop the angel was futile; like a drill it continued to make its way deeper inside her mind, opening up memories and experiences she thought she had forever locked away. Making her see and experience those memories once more brought tears to her eyes.
"Stop! Stop it! Don't do this to me!" Asuka screamed in futility. "Stop raping my mind!" She realized she still held the weapon and began to fire blindly in the hope that she might somehow stop the angel. Beams of energy streaked in different directions, destroying anything in their path. Her tears came unbidden. "Stop it. Please! Someone help me!" she sobbed, putting her hands over her head. "Anyone, please! Not this. Don't do this to me!"
------
Misato watched a helpless Unit 02, horrified at hearing Asuka's screams.
"The pilot's mind is being contaminated!" Hyuuga barked as he read data from his screen.
"Rei!" Ritsuko called urgently.
"Hai." Rei answered. Within moments she had lock-on and fired. The energy beam arched over the horizon to smash directly into the angel's AT field with no visible effect.
"The distance between the firing zone and the angel is too great for the rifle's energy to penetrate that AT field!" Maya reported. "There would be no way for us to destroy the angel with the sortied weapons."
"Damn it." Misato growled, snapping out of her daze as she continued to watch the attack on Eva 02. "Eject Asuka and move Rei out of the area."
"No good! The signal is being rejected!" Aoba replied.
"Unbelievable." Ritsuko murmured as she too stared at the main screen. "Is it possible that the angel is interested in human experiences and memories?"
Misato shot her an incredulous look.
"Rei." the Commander said before she could speak. "Go down and get the Lance." At the sound of Rei's affirmative Misato rounded on him.
"Wait! Isn't that dangerous? What if the angel gets down there?" she demanded.
The lack of an answer confirmed something that Misato had discovered quite recently, in exchange for a terrible price. The memory of Kaji's death was still fresh in her mind. However, further thought was interrupted by Shinji's voice in the comm-link.
"Father! Let me launch! I can save Asuka." he pleaded from his Eva.
"Negative. We cannot risk the chance of Eva 01 being contaminated. You are to stay there until further orders." the Gendou replied, then promptly severed communications with Unit 01.
Misato continued to watch the events unfold at the surface. Asuka had stopped screaming a short while ago, and she hoped that the girl was still alright. "Hang on, Asuka." she whispered. "Help is on the way."
-------
-My mother?- she thought as she looked at the memory in front of her. -Yes, that's my mother.-
A body was hanging from a rope attached to the ceiling, its limp hand clutching a rag doll.
Asuka had gone silent a short while after being plunged to a semi-conscious state by the angel rampaging inside her head. Now even she was drawn in as it continued to violently rummage through her memories.
-I was so excited back then. The Second Branch just told me that they selected me to be the pilot of that big red robot they were building. I remember how proud I felt then, and even though I was a little anxious to be around my mother after she changed I still wanted to tell her. When I got home I found her like this.-
It was suddenly raining. There a lot of people wearing mournful black as her mother was slowly lowered to her grave. An elderly woman with tears in her eyes bent towards a flinty eyed young Asuka. "Go on, dear." the she said. "It's better to cry now than let it eat you up inside." The young girl looked up with a hard, determined expression before answering. "I'm alright. I don't need to cry. I'm stronger than I look."
-Am I? Really? It's been how many years since I said that and until now I still wan't to cry.-
Suddenly Asuka was a little older, wearing an older version of the red plug-suit she wore now. She still had that determined look on her face as she continued to train to be an Eva pilot.
-Yes, I remember this. I remember moving out of my aunt's place to live by myself. I remember thinking that being an Eva pilot is the only thing that I would ever live for. It was at this time that I vowed that I would be the best Eva pilot ever. I also wanted to grow up faster so that I wouldn't have to depend on anybody else but myself.-
-I remember that greatest feeling of elation the first time I was finally able to synchronize with Eva-02.- Asuka continued wondering. -'At last', I thought to myself then, 'all that work finally paid off. Now I am my own person.'-
Her memories shifted to the particular event that forced her to move from Germany to Tokyo 03.
-I was convinced that this fabled 'Battle of Tokyo-03' and the 'Third Child' that I kept on hearing about was more than a little exaggerated to emphasize NERV's superior capability to stop the angels. I could never believe then that someone, especially someone without my kind of training, could actually use an Eva and be able to defeat an angel. I guess at that time I simply could not accept that someone else could be better than me so easily.-
-Then there were those battles in Tokyo-3, where I showed the world my true prowess as an Evangelion Pilot. For what reason? I guess I pilot just to prove that I'm the best. It's part of who I am. Is it the only reason? What more? I...-
Her memories drifted to Shinji.
-Shinji. I won't ever accept that he's better than me. He's so childish and irresponsible. Plus, he's a coward. He runs away from his responsibilities. That's why I hate him.-
'You hate him because he isn't like you?' a girl Asuka seated in front of her asked.
Asuka looked around. She apparently in some doorless and windowless room, sitting on a chair across a table to a girl who looks like her when she was 4.
"Yes! That the coward is better than me is an insult!" Asuka shouted her reply.
'Hmm? I think you hate him because he's like you.'
Her eyes widened. "No way! I was never like him! I..."
'You hate him because what you see in him is what you're trying to hide from everybody else.'
Asuka started shaking her head in denial. "N-No. I'm stronger than that. I'm grown up..."
'You hate him because you know that deep inside you're just like him.'
The redhead covered her ears in an effort to stop listening. "NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! I'M DIFFERENT!" she screamed.
'Then why do you run away?'
She looked up in surprise as soon as she noticed that the voice across her suddenly changed. She recognized that voice.
She hated it.
Rei in her plugsuit was sitting in front of her now, looking at her with those blood-red eyes that never changed.
Eyes like a doll's.
'Why do you hate me?' Rei asked her.
For a long moment silence answered that question, until finally a lone tear slowly made its way down Asuka's cheek. "I-" she swallowed as her shaking voice failed her. Then with a muffled sob she burst into tears. "I hate you because I lost my mother to a doll like you." she cried, cringing inside as words poured out of her like the tears she could not stop. "My mother died holding a doll that she thought was me. At first I didn't think so, but as I got to know you more you showed me that you're just like that doll my mother held. Why are you like that? Why do you act as if your life is someone else's to play with? Why don't you show yourself to everybody? Why do you hide?"
'Like you do? Why do you show yourself to everybody? Why don't you hide?'
"So they'd know that I'm not a doll! God damn it, why can't you see that?" she screamed in frustration.
'Is that so? Then why is it that you hide things even from yourself?'
The question was so sudden that Asuka was taken aback and didn't even have the chance to reply, as her memories were suddenly forced to focus on Eva-02.
'What does this mean to you?'
"Being a pilot is my life."
'Then if you can't pilot it anymore, what does that mean?'
"If I can't pilot it anymore then it means I'm a failure! Why are you asking me these stupid questions?" Asuka sobbed.
'Failure? Is that it? Failure to be the best? Why are you so afraid of this?'
"If I failed it means that I never changed." she wailed as her words continued to flow unbidden. "Failing means that I never grew up and never became strong. That I was as powerless as the time when my mother died."
'How about the others? Shinji, me, we all could help you. You simply can't do that all alone, right?'
"You just dont get it, do you? I don't want to trust someone else with something precious to me! I want to be able to protect my own happiness rather than letting someone else do it for me! I never want to feel helplessness like the time I saw my mother hanging from that rope!"
Asuka cried with her head between her hands, sobs ripping out of her uncontrollably. She no longer cared whether other questions were being asked, even if there was even anybody in front of her. -I can't do it! I'm too weak, too pathetic! Useless! I'm a failure! - Asuka savagely flogged herself with such thoughts even as she continued sobbing.
'Shhh. It's alright.'
Through the unbearable pain Asuka's eyes widened as she felt those arms embrace her softly, a gesture of love from her distant past. Even after all the terrible things that happened to her and more than ten painful years after, she will never forget that voice.
"Mother." Asuka gasped, clutching the figure in front of her with the desperation of a drowning girl clinging to a lifeline. There was no need for her to look; she closed her eyes and felt her mother's warmth and prescence, letting it soak up her pain.
'Shh. Hush now. It's alright.' Kyoko crooned softly to her child. 'You don't have to fight alone. I'm here, and I'm sure those you love also wish to be with you. They don't want you hurting like this. They will fight for you as hard as you fight for them if only you'll let them. We are all weak inside, but together we can share the burden of fighting for each other's happiness.'
-You don't have to be lonely anymore.-
At those comforting words she had the chance to face all the things she had kept locked away. -I don't have to be lonely anymore.- As she embraced her mother she simply allowed the tears to heal her pain; all that pent up grief and suffering finally surging out of her in a comforting rush. She lost track of time and had no idea how long she stayed holding her mother, losing herself to the warmth of that contact.
Eventually her crying subsided, and when she finally looked up she realized that her mother was gone. In her stead a double of herself in her red plug-suit now sat in front of her, smiling happily.
'I guess that's settled then. You know why you really want to be a pilot, right?' her double asked lightly. With that, everything seemed to vanish.
Suddenly Asuka was staring at the blank screen of the now silent entry-plug, the question ringing in her ears.
"It means my desire to protect what I love." she answered herself slowly, deliberately. "It means that I can't do it alone; I need others to fight for me too. I all those I love to be with me and protect what's precious to me. I fight for them. I fight with them."
"I fight because I never want to be lonely again. With them, I have the power to protect my happiness with my own hands."
Silent tears came again at her final acceptance of the truth about her conviction, and with it came the flood of feeling and awareness as Eva 02 reactivated.
--------
"Ma'am, Eva 02 is reactivating!" Hyuuga reported incredulously.
"What! What about her mind contamination!" Misato demanded.
"The angel stopped attacking several minutes after contamination passed critical point. However, for some reason contamination levels dropped from above critical to zero within the last ten seconds before Unit 02 reactivated."
-What did the angel do? Was it able to control Asuka's mind?- Misato thought frantically.
"Current Pilot signals and lifesigns?" Ritsuko asked briskly.
"Pilot lifesigns green and still no sign of any recurring mental contamination." Hyuuga answered.
"Harmonics normal. Nerve connections synchronized with ratio at...90.34." Maya read from her screen with a hint of disbelief.
"Asuka? Are you alright?" Misato asked the girl through the comm-link.
"I'm fine, Misato. How do I kill that thing?" she sounded like herself, albeit a little shaky.
This time Aoba answered the inquiry from the back. "Based on the distance that the angel advanced during its assault on Unit 02, MAGI calculations suggest that attacks from the self-propelled positron cannon now has a success rate of 72.2 percent. We can raise that to nearly 90 percent if the weapon were fired atleast 500 feet higher than ground level. However, the point weapon has been damaged beyond use. Unit 02 would have to make use of Unit 00's rifle."
"Unit 00 has just finished Lance retrieval and is making its way up." somebody else added.
-Damn. There's no way she could climb that high with that rifle.- Misato thought. While her mind raced to think of a solution Gendou suddenly spoke.
"Put Unit 03's pilot on-screen."
It took several seconds of delay before a pretty blonde girl with green eyes was focused on the main screen. "Yes, Commander?" the girl answered in accented japanese.
"Here are your orders. Launch from that transport and proceed to Point A on your mission map. Upon arrival you are then to assist Unit 02 in climbing to a specified platform which will be given to both of you later. Since you will be on battery power you are only limited to a minute of movement. If you've any time left make for the nearest supply building that provides an umbilical cable support. However, make sure you complete your objectives before then. Is this clear?"
"Roger that, Commander." the blonde girl affirmed. "Permission to launch?"
"Go."
Misato immediately addressed her crew. "Get those calculations and point out the best candidates for firing platforms nearest to where both Units are." As the room erupted with renewed vigor, Misato turned back to the main screen where the camera was focused on Unit 02 as it currently recalibrated Unit 00's backup weapon.
"How am I supposed to get on top of a 500 ft. building with this thing!" the redhead asked with a hint of petulance even as she shook the heavy rifle at the screen.
Misato can't help but smile as she heard the tone in that voice. It reminded her of the Asuka from a few months ago. -She's back.- Misato thought with a huge sigh of relief.
"Don't worry about that. Help is on the way."
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"Help's on the way? What do you me..?" Asuka cut off as she felt the ground shaking. To her it sounded as if something heavy was making its way toward her, and sure enough a few moments later an Eva similar to Unit 03 suddenly burst into view from one corner and was bearing down on her at full speed.
"Wha..?" Asuka gasped. However, command in Central Dogma had no time to entertain her. A platform suddenly sprang up a few hundred meters to her left, and almost immediately Misato started barking commands.
"That building to your left. That's where you're set to fire. Hurry up, both of you! We don't know what the angel could do next!"
With that Asuka's attention snapped back to business. Both Units rushed the target platform and as soon they arrived she laid the rifle down on one side before mounting Eva-03's braced hands.
"Ready?" a girl's voice asked her in heavily accented japanese.
It only took a moment for Asuka to recover from her surprise. "GO!" she yelled. She felt Eva 03 tense under her, then she was streaking for the top of building. Her hands caught the edge and she promptly hauled herself to the top. After a moment she turned back and caught the rifle that Unit 03 tossed from the ground. Without wasting any time she secured the latches of the rifle and reset the computer to initiate lock-on calculations. After a few moments the computer gave her the signal to fire.
This time no words were needed. With a scream Asuka pulled the trigger and braced against the recoil from the top of the platform. When the energy beam streaked for its target it hit dead center, smashing through AT field and incinerating the angel behind it. Bits of what was spared from the blaze shimmered and drifted down from the sky, looking for all the world like magical summer snow.
Inside the entry-plug Asuka simply laid back, releasing a great sigh of relief. She felt wonderful; as if a whole mountain of worry had been lifted off her shoulders.
It felt as if it was her first time to pilot Unit 02 again.
"Thank you." she whispered to her Eva as put her arms around the front of her cockpit. She imagined herself embracing her mother, and her voice caught as she was again overwhelmed with relief and joy. "You know how much this means to me. You've given me back my life."
Her comm-link screen suddenly popped up, revealing Misato as she sported a huge grin. "Nice job, Asuka." she congratulated. "Get back here. We've got things to do, and there's someone you should meet."
With that the screen winked out and Asuka was left alone again. Alone yet she felt the strands that connected her to all she loved. After another moment of savoring the sweet taste of true victory she headed back home, eager to be with everyone again.
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CHAPTER 01 END
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AUTHOR's NOTES:
Ok guys, I need help. Can anybody point me to a good Evangelion reference site? I kinda need to refresh my memory of the events that happened after this particular episode in the Anime if I'm to determine the direction of the plot from here. Also the plot lines from the Eva movie(s) would help greatly.
Also, could anybody comment on the Shinji/Asuka monologue parts? I want to know what you guys thought about that. I'm kinda worried that I might not have gotten their characterization correct. Do you guys agree or disagree?
Got any questions? Feel free to ask them. :D
I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I could(Heh, your help and comments could speed it up though). Thanks to all who read this. :D