Disclaimer: We own nothing from Mediator, nothing at all
Author's Note: Let me start by saying how soooo sorry we are that this has been delayed, life has been really busy, but we hope to start posting at least one chapter a week from now on, until the story is finished. Thank you to all of you who didn't give up on this story, you guys are great. We really hope you like this chapter
Chapter 5
I lie in my bed, alone, the next morning, my nightgown back on and my bed neatly made again. I would have thought the whole thing was a dream if not for the soreness in between my legs.
I won't lie. It did hurt. Jesse was so hesitant to continue after he saw the tears in my eyes but I had urged him forward. Other than that, it was one of the most amazing nights of my life, if not THE most amazing.
A small smile comes to my lips as I look over at the servant's door that he went through not 2 hours ago, after promising me that he would come back.
I told my mother to cancel lessons for today, that I wasn't feeling well, which was true to an extent. Part of me just wanted to see Jesse again.
A tentative knocking at my door captures my attention once again and I cover myself before telling them to enter.
"Oh, hello, David," I say, smiling and sitting up. "Please, come in and sit."
"I'm sorry to come in here like this Suze...I just, I heard something last night and..." he says, furrowing his eyebrows and sitting down on a chair.
I start to panic a little but shake it off. "Uhm...like what?" I ask.
"It was a sort of...bumping," he says, frowning and I pale a little bit. David's room is below mine, and the floors aren't very thick.
"Oh well, you might have just been dreaming," I reply, giving him a small smile.
"I don't know, it went on for a while, Suze, loud bumping, I thought it was an earthquake," David says.
I try to repress a giggle as I say, "Well, I didn't hear anything," though I let a smile slip through. God, I didn't know Jesse and I were that loud.
"Are you sure it was from up here, not next to you?" I ask, pulling my coverlet up to my chin.
David shook his head. "No, I'm pretty sure it was from up here...did you hear it?" he replies.
"Nope...I'm pretty sure that I didn't, but I sleep like there's no tomorrow, so I might have...slept through it," I say slowly.
"If you don't mind, David, I'm kind of tired," I say, yawning as he stands.
"Of course, Suze. I hope you feel better," he says before leaving.
"Thank you," I say, smiling over at him before snuggling down further in my warm covers. We've been having a chilly spell lately, even though it's mid may.
After a little while, Jesse appears in my room, a huge grin on his face. I grin also as he approaches my bed.
"Good morning," I whisper, leaning in and kissing him softly, my fingers stroking his cheek.
"Morning," he replies, sitting on the edge of the bed, placing his hand over mine.
"Jesse...David heard us last night," I whisper, grinning as I tell him this and his eyes widen in fear for a second and then they turn to confusion.
"...Were we really that loud?" he asks and I laugh a little.
"I guess so...well at least you were, I told you not to use the bed as...as leverage," I say, my eyes twinkling in amusement as he blushes profusely.
"Susannah," he says sharply and I grin.
"Sorry, Jesse," I say, laughing and kissing him softly.
"You know I love to joke around with you, I love seeing you blush, you just look too cute," I tell him before getting up and locking the door.
I sit down next to him on the bed as he turns to face me. I lean forward and kiss him softly, though the kiss soon becomes more passionate.
Jesse's large hands start to massage my breasts over my nightgown and I let out a soft moan, wrapping my arm around his torso to pull him closer to me when I hear a gasp...one that isn't very masculine.
We break apart from each other almost instantly and see a very shocked Renee standing in the room. Oh shit.
I jump up from my bed, wiping my mouth dry as I quickly think of something to say...anything so that she will not rush off and tell my mother.
She starts rambling in French, but I hastily stop her. "Please, Renee, don't tell," I beg, hurrying over to her.
"Renee...I'm begging you," I say, clasping my hands before running off to my wardrobe and pulling out a drawer, taking out one of my silver pendants on a long silver chain, "Please...I will give you this to keep if you don't tell my mother...she would kill him."
Before she can say anything, I take her hand and press the pendant into it. "Renee, please," I whisper, tears now gathered in my eyes. If she told my mother, my life would be over. I would have no purpose for living.
"...D'accord..." she says and I let out a long sigh of relief before pressing the edge of my sleeve to my eyes to gather the tears.
"Thank you, Renee," I say shakily, smiling. "You'll never know how much this means to me."
She gives me a small smile in return and then gasps as I pull her into a tight hug. I know she's not accustomed to having such a crazy mistress, but I'm just so overwhelmed.
Slowly, hesitantly, she returns the hug and after a moment we pull apart. "I'll leave you two alone now, your Highness," she says, smiling before turning to leave.
I let out another sigh before slowly turning around, my hair falling in front of my face as I reach down into my nightgown and pull out the long silver chain that rested in-between my breasts.
"That was close, querida," Jesse says as I slowly walk over to the bed, playing with the pendant that Jesse gave to me for my birthday. That seems like years ago.
"Yeah, it was. Maybe we shouldn't...you know, in the daylight," I tell him, sitting down on the edge.
"Yes, I think that would be best," he says, pulling me into an embrace and kissing my forehead softly.
"You should go," I say to him as we sit there, sunlight pouring into my room as it gets higher in the sky.
He kisses my forehead again and nods his head. "I love you," he whispers as he stands up.
"Love you too," I say in reply, yawning a little before getting back in my bed.
He looks down at me and smiles, reaching for my hand and giving it a squeeze. "I'll come back tonight," he tells me and I nod, pulling the covers up over me and closing my eyes.
I don't wake up until probably around noon, and by then my room is stifling hot, even for May. I groan and get up, cracking my 4 window open just as my mother enters the room.
"How are you feeling, Susannah?" she asks as I crawl back into bed.
"All right, I suppose," I reply.
"I'm going to have the chef make you up some nice warm soup, and Renee will bring it in for you. It's too bad you were sick, it's such a nice day out, we were planning on letting you take a stroll around the gardens," Mother says, but I squint my eyes in suspicion, she would never just let me do what I wanted by myself.
"What? Is that so hard to believe?" she asks, raising her eyebrows at me. I sigh and shake my head.
"No, mother," I mumble, sliding even further under the covers.
"Okay. Oh, I invited Paul to supper this Saturday, please make sure you get plenty of rest...we wouldn't want you sick for it," she says, patting my arm before getting up and leaving.
Ugh. Dinner with Paul again. Nearly once a week for the past five months, she's had him over for dinner or lunch or something so that I'll warm up to him, but I won't. He's highly inappropriate, resting his hand on my knee or putting his arm around me. It makes me sick even thinking about it.
Last lunch he had gone so far as to try and kiss me again as we were horseback riding afterwards.
He is such a jerk, total opposite of Jesse. He thinks that women are here solely for the pleasure of men and treats me like dirt whereas Jesse respects women and practically worships the ground on which I walk.
Let me tell you, I would have almost like to go to lessons today. Lying in bed for the entire day when it is so beautiful outside is never fun.
Deciding I need to get outside, I stand up and get changed into a simple dress. Hopefully I'll see Jesse out there.
I slowly walk out of my chambers, glancing up and down the hall to make sure no one is coming, and then I dash for the servant's stairs.
When I enter the gardens, I feel more at ease than I have in a while. Well, besides when I'm with Jesse.
I smile and look up at the crystal clear sky before walking briskly for the palace gardens, where no one will be able to see me from the palace.
"Ah, Suze, what a surprise." Oh god. What is he doing here??
"Paul," I say, nodding to him as I turn around.
"I thought you were sick? Are you faking? Now, now Suze, that's not a very princess-like thing to do," Paul says.
"I just need some fresh air," I reply before starting to walk away.
"Suze...please, can't we walk like two entirely civilized people?" Paul asks me.
"I only see one here," I reply, glaring at him.
He sighs, shaking his head and reaches out to me, wrapping his muscular arm around my shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" I exclaim, shoving him away and glaring,
"Suze, Suze, Suze," he says, shaking his head, "When are you going to learn? We could do this the easy way, or we could do this the hard way."
"I was never one for taking the easy way out," I say angrily.
"Fine, the hard way it is," Paul says, reaching out and grabbing my hand, pulling me over to him and kissing me in one swift movement.
My eyes shot wide open and I started to push him away, but his arms slid around my waist, not letting me go.
I start to panic and my body becomes stiff as my brain tries to fervently think of something to do...anything to get him off of me.
Something in my mind clicked and I smirked, bringing my knee up and hitting...well...you know.
"Fuck," Paul cries, bringing his hands down to shield his manhood as I quickly run off.
I hurry right up to my room, locking it so that even if anyone found out, they couldn't come in. I turn around quickly and nearly fall over, seeing Jesse standing at the far end of the room.
"Oh my God! Jesse you nearly scared me to death! What are you doing here in the middle of the day?" I ask him, walking up to give him a kiss.
He gently pushes me away and says softly, "I saw you...with him."
"With...him?" I ask, confused for a moment until I remember that I had just been running away from Paul.
"Oh, Jesse," I say as comprehension dawns on me. I look up into his eyes but instantly look away. Those big brown eyes that were once filled with love were now filled with hurt and confusion.
"Jesse...what did you see?" I ask him, reaching out to grab his arm gently.
"I saw you...kissing him," he says slowly, as if it hurt to say those words.
"I didn't kiss him! He kissed me! And then I kicked him!" I exclaim, frowning as I try to turn him back towards me.
The hurt in his eyes turns to anger and he balls his hands into fists. "He kissed you? That bastardo, if he so much as LOOKS at you again I'll..." he trails off and starts rambling in Spanish.
"Jesse...Jesse, calm down," I say, running my hand up and down his arm gently, "I won't let this happen again, okay? I'm sorry that it hurt you...I don't like seeing you look at me like that."
"Querida, I'm sorry I overreacted...I should have known you would never kiss him willingly," he says, placing his hand on my cheek.
"It's fine. I should get back to bed now," I tell him softly, a tear leaking out of the corner of my eye as I turn around.
A few more fall and I start to wipe them away when I feel Jesse's hand on my shoulder. "Susannah, why are you crying?" he asks.
"You really need to go Jesse," I say, shrugging his hand off and walking towards my bed.
"Querida," he says softly, turning me around so that I'm facing him.
"Jesse...just go," I say, looking away from him.
He lets out a soft sigh and kisses my cheek, "As you wish," he says before turning to leave.
I wipe at the tears left on my face, looking over my shoulder to make sure Jesse is gone, before slipping back in bed, and not waking up until the next morning.
A few days pass and Jesse hasn't come to see me. Figures...things just get good between us and then I go and blow it. What makes matters worse is Paul is still trying to kiss me, hold my hand, anything and tonight's the big dinner with him.
My mother makes a big fuss about taking me out to town to get a new dress made, which means hours of standing still while the tailor fits me and pokes me with their pins.
As I enter the dining room, Paul rises from his chair, a smug smile on his face. He's probably going to try and pull something tonight.
Andy and my mother lead the way, with myself and all of my stepbrothers behind me as we make our way for the table.
"You look gorgeous tonight, Suze," Paul whispers in my ear as I sit down and he pushes my chair in for me.
I ignore him, sticking my nose high in the air and turning on my snobbishness full force. I have to admit though, his words melted my harsh exterior a bit.
The rest of the dinner goes well, Paul even made me laugh a few times. At the end of dinner, however, he invited me to join him out in the garden.
One look at my mother and I know that if I refuse, I will be barricaded in my room for the rest of the week, so I agree and he leads me out there.
"I must apologize for my forwardness the other day," he says and I think I hear him wrong. Is he really apologizing to me???
"Are you seriously apologizing to me, Paul?" I ask, resting my hands in front of myself as we walk around the dimly lit garden.
"Yeah, Suze...my behavior was totally out of line," he says, moving a little closer to me.
"Yes, it was," I agree, nodding and walking a little bit farther away from him.
"I think we should try and...start over," he says, still moving closer.
"That would be nice," I say, stepping back every time he took another step closer to me.
Unfortunately, I back up into a rose bush, thorns sticking into me here and there. Paul gently helps me out and when I'm standing, places his hands on my waist.
"You don't have to be afraid of me, Suze," he says, a hand coming up and brushing a piece of my hair aside.
"What...what makes you think I'm afraid of you?" I ask softly, my heart racing as he lets his hand rest on my cheek.
"For one, you're heart is beating about 1000 times per second, and for two...you keep backing away from me," Paul says.
"I'm not a bad guy, Suze," he says, his other hand resting on my other cheek. "Let me in,"
I frown, looking down towards the ground as he moves in closer until our bodies are pretty much touching all over.
My eyes wander back up to his face and before I know it, he's kissing me again. And this time...I don't fight back.
A low moan escapes my mouth as he holds my chin gently in his fingertips, leaning it up so that he can kiss me from that different angle, his other hand wrapping around the back of my neck.
I slide my arms around him, deepening the kiss even further, after several moments, we part, both breathing heavily.
"Wow," he whispers, his tongue darting out to lick his lips softly before it disappeared back into his mouth.
A small grin appears on my face. Wow is right. He is a great kisser. Not better than Jesse but...different.
Paul leans in again, brushing his nose against my neck and kissing me softly there before heading back up to my lips.
"Susannah? Paul? Where are you?" I hear my mother call and we break apart, not before getting in a few more moments of tongue-action.
I quickly pull away, wiping at my mouth before picking up my skirts and walking to where my mother's voice came from, "Right here, Mother, we were just talking over by the rose bushes," I say, smiling at her.
She smiles and nods her head. "Well, it's getting late, I trust you'll be in soon," she says before leaving.
"That means I have about 5 minutes to get upstairs before she sends out one of my brothers to watch over us," I tell Paul.
He grins and takes my hand, pulling me closer to him. "Well then, we should make the best of it," he says before capturing my lips in a mind-blowing kiss.
Half an hour later I am in my bedroom, Marie helping me undress and put on my nightgown.
When she's done, I go over to the window and open it, looking down at the garden where Paul and I were kissing not an hour before.
A little smile graces my lips as I prop the window open, letting in some of the chilly night air to cool off my warm room, and skin.
My lips were still tingling from when I kissed Paul. It felt...dangerous, that's why I liked it so much. It was so different from the safeness I felt around Jesse. It was like living on the edge.
I swiftly pull my hair over my shoulder, putting it in a quick braid before literally diving into the softness of my bed, snuggling up under the covers and letting nature's sounds drift me off to sleep.
I awake the next morning, freezing as if it were January, not May. I open my eyes and realize why: the window was open.
Something clicks in my head and I quickly stand up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and walking to the window, my eyes widening as I see the two words sketched onto its foggy pane. I saw.
I saw. Two simple words, but as I see them my world comes crashing down and I burst into tears.
I reach down into my nightgown, pulling out the small pendant and holding it in-between my finger tips, even more tears escaping my eyes.
"Your Highness?" I faintly hear Renee's voice and look up, not able to stop crying. "Your Highness, what's wrong?"
"He...he doesn't love me anymore," I say brokenly, burying my face in my hands and letting out sob after sob.
"Who? Jesse?" she asks and I nod silently, not able to control my tears.
"He saw, he...he saw Paul and I kissing...and now he doesn't love me anymore," I whisper.
She kneels beside me and rests her hand on my shoulder. "It'll be all right, your highness," she says softly.
"No it won't. My life is over," I say, frowning and closing my eyes as a few more tears slip out.
"Would you like me to talk to him for you?" she asks.
"No...God no, that would be mortifying," I say softly, shaking my head.
"Ok then, if you're sure," she says, nodding.
I nod in return and tell her, "Yes, I'm sure."
"Go back to sleep, I'll shut your window for you, it is still early yet," Renee says, smiling at me.
"Thank you, Renee," I reply, wiping my tears away before slowly walking back to my bed.
I stare dismally at the servant's entrance at the far side of my room before closing my eyes, not noticing as Jesse sticks his head in, only to be glared away by Renee a moment later.