Ch. 6 Passing Through

Mark watched his son's face as it creased with the worry of some nightmare. Why wouldn't he wake up? He'd come so close to dying tonight. Mark didn't even want to think about that. So instead he spoke aloud to his sleeping son, telling him about the fun things they'd done when Steve was a boy. Remembering Katherine and the Christmas that Carol had joined them. Speaking about Amanda, Jack, and Jesse. He was in mid-sentence, remembering when Amanda had adopted Dion, when Steve's face suddenly spasmed in pain.
"Steve?" Mark's voice sounded far too panicked for his liking, but he ignored that. "Steve?" he repeated. "What's wrong?" As if in some perverse answer, Steve's chest refused to rise with another breath, and the heart rate monitor's steady beeping gave way to one long tone. "No. Oh no, not again. Steve!" Mark wasn't even aware of speaking out loud. He punched the code blue button and started CPR for the second time that night. A minute later the door burst open again, this time with Amanda and Jesse pushing the defibrillator, faces drawn, eyes dark.
"Mark, what happened?" Jesse asked as he hooked the defibrillator up to Steve's chest yet again. Park of him said it wouldn't work this time, and his mind was trying to ignore this and protest. //Of course it will! Steve can't die! He can't!// Mark stepped back and took the defibrillator paddles, shaking his head.
"Nothing. It just…" He gave up trying to explain and instead placed the paddles on his son's bare chest. Shock. Jerk. Nothing. Shock. Jerk. Nothing. //Come on, son. Third time's a charm. Come back.// Shock. Jerk. Nothing. No! Again! "Again! Clear!" Shock. Jerk. Nothing. "Again!" His voice hoarse and torn with grief. Jesse's face drawn and pale. Amanda's face streaked with tears. Shock. Jerk. Nothing. Shock. Jerk. Nothing. "Again!"
And then Jesse's hands were taking him by the shoulders and pulling him back. Amanda was turning off the defibrillator. The heart rate monitor's shrill, persistent tone was echoing in his ears. Jesse took the paddles from his limp fingers and hung them back on the machine.
"Mark." He was being spoken to. "Mark." It was Jesse's voice. But Steve was all he could see. Steve's chest no longer rising and falling with each breath. His son's still, lifeless form. The body of his last child. Impossible. No, it couldn't be true. And then Jesse's voice coming through to him as he stared hopelessly at his son. "Mark. He's gone."