Beka's eyes slowly flickered open, and she flew up when she felt she wasn't alone. It only took her a second to remember what had happened last night, and it filled her with a nauseous feeling. Harper was laying on the cramped medbay bed with a slight bit of drool coming out of his mouth. A pang of affection came over Beka as she saw his innocent sleeping face, but it was quickly replaced with depression.

"He doesn't really care about me," she reminded herself. "He hasn't wanted to talk to me for ages, when I really needed him. Sure, I said some nasty things to him, but it was the flash. He knows that...doesn't he?" She turned around quickly, burying her face in her hands. "I can't believe Trance found me like that," she thought. "How embarrassing. They all know now, how weak I am. As if they didn't already think that after the flash incident. I know what they're all thinking. Pathetic little Beka who can't even cope with the slightest thing." She looked around her. There was noone around, apart from the sleeping Harper.

"Well," she thought sarcastically, "that shows how much they care. When I was on flash they guarded me for ages so I wouldn't take it again, when I try to commit suicide they can't be bothered. I know why. When I was on flash I'd mess things up, nobody else will get hurt if I die."

"So why did they save you? Why didn't they just let you die?" a voice in the back of Beka's head said, but she ignored it. She looked at her wrists. They were wrapped in thick bandages. She rolled her eyes.

"What's the point?" she said to noone in particular. "You don't want me alive, I don't want to be alive. Why save me?" She shook her head and looked back at Harper.

"Well," she said, sarcasm again sneaking it's way into her voice, "I guess Dylan's brilliant guard isn't going to stop me from leaving." She walked up to the doors and was confused when they would open.

"Andromeda," she demanded, "open the doors." The hologram of Andromeda flicked up.

"Why?" she said, "so you can attempt suicide again? I don't think so." Beka rolled her eyes.

"Rommie," she said, "I'm in medbay. If there's anywhere I'm going to find things to kill myself with, It'd be here." Rommie shook her head.

"All sharp things and medicines have been locked up. I think you'll find you're quite safe in there."

"Well," Beka said with a hint of desperation in her voice, "if I wanted to do that, I'd know that, wouldn't I? Doesn't the fact that I don't know it's locked up prove I'm not going to try it again?" Rommie looked uncertain.

"I'm going to send Dylan up to see you. You can discuss it with him."

"No!" Beka called, "not Dylan!" But Andromeda had already disappeared. Beka looked desperately around her. If there was anything she really didn't want, it was to talk to Dylan. She ran up to Harper and shook him.

"Harper! Wake up!" He stirred, then looked up at her.

"Beka?" His eyes fell on her bandages and stayed fixed there. She suddenly felt very self-conscious and hid them behind her back.

"You have to help me." He frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Andromeda's sending Dylan up to talk to me, and I'd really rather not. Could you get Andromeda to open the door for me?" He looked uncomfortable.

"But Beka," he said, "you have to talk to him." She squirmed.

"Yeah I know, and I will," she lied, "just not right now. Please Harper." He looked unsure. "Please Harper," she pleaded, "I promise I won't do anything bad, I just need some time to myself, that's all."

"Ok," he said reluctantly, "come on then." He walked up to the door. "Andromeda, open the doors please." The doors swung open. Beka quickly ran out before he could change his mind.

"Thanks Harper," she said, "I knew you loved me." He nodded uncertainly. Beka set off, but she didn't get any further than around the corner, before she bumped into Dylan.

"Beka," he said in an icy voice, "I thought you were meant to be staying in med bay?" She shifted uncomfortably.

"I just wanted some time to myself before talking to anyone," she said, looking up at him with a pleading look. "Please, can I?" He shook his head.

"Beka, last time we gave you some time on your own you tried to kill yourself. You've proven to me you can't be trusted." The words hit her like gun-shots. Did he really hate her that much? He grabbed her arm and led me back to medbay, where Harper was standing, looking sheepish.

"You," Dylan said, pointing to Harper. "I want a word with you in a minute. Now, please leave." Harper nodded and left. Dylan sat her down on the bed where she'd spent the night. They spent a few moments in silence before he spoke up.

"Why, Beka?" he asked. She squirmed, not knowing what to say.

"I didn't mean to?" she tried, looking up at him hopefully. He shook his head.

"Tell me the truth Beka." She pouted, disappointed.

"I'm not ready to discuss that with you right now. But I do regret it," she said truthfully. He tilted his head.

"As in real regret, or do you just regret you got caught?" Beka bit her lip. She'd been hoping he wouldn't ask that.

"Uh...I regret it, really." He shook his head.

"I'm sorry Beka, but I can't believe you. I can't let you go out on your own either, but you don't have to stay in medbay. I'll escort you to your quarters." She looked at him desperately.

"Can't I go to the Maru?" He shook his head.

"No Beka. It's your quarters or medbay."

"I'll leave you to sort yourself out," Dylan said quietly after he'd dropped her off in her quarters. She immediately started looking around her.

"Erm Beka," he said, "there's no point in looking for any sharp things. They've been removed."

"I wasn't looking for that," She lied, agitated. She couldn't believe the extremes they'd gone to. If she hadn't known the truth it would seem like a proof of...love.

"I'll send Harper to check up on you later. Oh - and I'd like you to think about councelling." She didn't even bother answering him, until the door had nearly closed behind him.

"None of you care about me anyway," she shouted at the closed door.

There was no reply.