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A/N: Yellow peoples! How is everyone? Me… oh I'm just bummed. By the way, is anyone even reading this story? I posted two chapters one day after the other and didnt get a review for either. This makes me sad. But i'm still updating! Once every Six days. Oh, and from now on mi 'a/n:' will contain stuff thats going 2 be relevant 2 when i wrote them (right now i'm on chp.8 of 9 and just haven't posted). Anyway, if you are reading this, idc who you are, just review so i know your reading them! Thank you! What's that? YES! I do have a life of my own… okay maybe not. Love, and be loved. Read… and review.
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Beauty in the Breakdown

Tears… after so many years of fighting with emotions and turning them away… tears were the final result of all of it. Tears! After so many years of being so sure that I could live my life without emotions, without worries, with out tears, I had fallen apart in front of Takato. I had finally been stripped of my greatest weapon… my tough girl reputation. From now on… it won't mean anything to him. To him… I'll just be that girl. The one who broke down in front of him when he was in the hospital. The one who cried over his beaten down body, because she felt responsible. I feel like now I've spent my entire life fighting nothing. That I hadn't done anything but delay the inevitable. Like it was destined to happen… but not to me! Never to me! It wasn't suppose to be… but it was. And it did. Because it happened. I fell apart at the seams right there… right in front of him.

It was a whole month ago yesterday that I had fallen apart but I just couldn't help but feel the weaker now that it was over. This was the first day Takato was back from his injury, and school was duller then ever. Mrs. Wilks was going on forever about this or that, and I just wanted the clock to strike 3:15, so I could go home and mull all of this over without the comfort of these jerks in my class. Oh was it bad last month when I left early. Mrs. Morton had told everyone how my good friend (thank God she hadn't called him my boy friend again) had been assaulted in the park before… but that didn't stop the girls from being nosy. They asked her who it was, but she wouldn't tell, but they just went home and looked in their newspapers for stories about anyone who was assaulted in the park. They all came across Takato's name and it was trouble from there on out.

Every one of them either offered their sympathy that I didn't need, or want, or asked who he was. Since when do you have friends Rika? I remember distinctly from a one miss Gails. Her first name was Erica, but man was she a prissy little rich girl. She had an excellent way of getting on my nerves by little snide remarks like that. She always tested me, trying me, waiting for me to snap and freak out at her. She liked me to get in fights with her, because she was always assured to get off easy when a teacher saw. She knew I wouldn't defend myself because I would be too busy trying to think of other ways to hit her. She liked to make me snap… and she was good at doing it.

But none of those days that closely followed Takato's attack were even remotely close to what the papers had printed this morning, when they printed the story of his release, and capture of his attackers. While Mrs. Morton had successfully kept the word 'boyfriend' out of the conversation with the girls, the papers were unsuccessful in keeping the word 'girlfriend' out its articles. They didn't like the idea of typing that his 'best friend' walked out of the hospital with him, but thought it better to put it as him and his 'girlfriend' walked out of the hospital with him. Monkeys in pants, with both the after the attack and after his release newspapers could have made the connection between him and me.

Although, I do think monkeys with pants would have been a little less enthusiastic to ask me about Takato. All of the girls had jumped at the chance to ask Rika Nonaka, the great queen of ice, who denied being the girlfriend of the guy that got attacked, just how sure I was that I wasn't his girlfriend. Oh how I hated them. Although, Erica didn't say anything… and seemed to be in deep thought, or troubled by the article, that every girl in the class brought into school. Except her… which was another reason why I was worried about her. Here was her chance to inflict unrecoverable personal damage, and make me hate her more then ever, and she wasn't taking this opportunity. What is wrong with her?

After a little more thought the final bell rang and we were free to go. Takato wasn't coming over today, so I had a lot more time to do my homework today. I finished packing my book bag and headed for the door, but just as I reached it I was called back.

"Rika… wait." Someone said behind me.
I turned around and saw it was Erica… so she waited until school was over to mock me. "What, do you want?" I asked.
"So… this Takato character… you won't be seeing him for a few days will you?" she said.
What? That's not an insult, it's a question. "Umm… yeah. I won't see him for at least a few more days. Why?" I questioned her.
"No reason." She said, looked to the floor, then turned around and walked back to her book bag.

That's not the Erica I know… not at all. Whatever, I don't have time for this, I thought to myself. I started walking and decided to head home as fast as I could before Erica could change her mind. A day free of insults from her was a good day by me book.
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I walked into a deserted home. Hmm… mom told me she was gonna be at a photo shoot, but I wonder where grandma is? I looked around and found a note in my room telling me she would be home around four thirty. Ugh… alone again. A perfect chance to mull over what had happened with those damn tears. I turned on the light in my room, put my book bag down at the foot of my bed, laid down, and took a deep breath. My room, my sanctuary… my place to go to be at peace, with no one but myself, where no one else could touch me. I closed my eyes and re-enacted what had happened that day a month ago in my head. I saw his dismantled body on that bed with so many injuries and I thought to the night before when we had been having such a great time. I tried to re-conjure that impossible guilt that had been on me when I walked into the room, the way no one seemed to be offering there comfort, and my need to apologize, the tone of his voice when he asked me 'for what dear' when I had apologized. Ugh! I could feel the guilt coming into my eyes and I could tell tears were coming. I could feel there hot wet moisture begin to form around my eyes and how they-

"Hello Rika." Someone said from my bedroom door.
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"Hey Takato, I just wanted to say… welcome back man!" Henry said to me.
"Thanks Henry… I ah wanted to say sorry for lying to you the days right before it happened." I said.
"No problem man! The important thing is that your alright." He responded.
School was over and I decided to stay back a little bit today, mom wouldn't freak out TOO much if I was only a few minutes late to the car. She and I had agreed it better that she pick me up from school for a little while after school, just until I was ready to start walking home. But even then… I was gonna make sure I was walking home with at least someone… even if it had to be Jeri, because I wasn't even ready to risk something like that happening again. Even if I myself didn't believe it possible to happen again. "So where were you going to anyway, those days before it happened." He asked me.

"Well…" I guess I better tell him… he should be the first to know I thought to myself. "I had been-"
"I know exactly where you had been going to, chumly!" I heard Kazu say walking up behind me.
"You do then?" I asked him.
"Yep!" he said.
"Where was I going to, Kazu?" I asked, sympathetically… there's no way he could possibly know I had been-
"The day before it happened, me and Kenta saw you running through the park." He said.
"Yeah, I know." I confessed, he couldn't possibly know I had been going to-

"And the day that it did happen, we saw you running again." He said.
"Yes, I know that too." I said, getting a little angry. He kept interrupting my thoughts! No way he knew I was-

"But that day, we followed you." He said.
"What! You… you followed me!" I said outraged.
"You had been blowing us off and sneaking off to . . . Rika Nonaka's house!" he said in his infamous gloating tone, the one he used when he beat me in cards.

"What!" Henry nearly yelled.
"It's true… we've got a tape of him going into her house." He said, the tone still there.
"Ta… Takato, tell me he's kidding right? You weren't going to Rika Nonaka's were you?" he asked me.
"Thank you for stealing the words right from out of my mouth." I said directly to Kazu.
"So… so why… why were you going there?" he asked me, in an I-don't-believe-it voice.

Ugh oh… I still hadn't told them about Jeri turning me down. I looked just past Henry and saw Jeri standing on the sidewalk looking sideways at us. I started thinking of lies or things I could make up that wouldn't be too far from the truth… but I couldn't think of any. I couldn't lie to these guys… not anymore, and especially not with someone who knew the truth was standing only three feet away. "Sorry guys… I gotta go. My moms waiting." I said in a voice so bland and empty of emotion the only time I could remember ever using it before was right after Jeri told me she wanted to be just friends. I started walking towards the car, but turned around. "Sorry." I said to them. They gave me awkward confused looks, but it wasn't meant for them. I slipped my eyes towards Jeri and she looked away. I reached the car, opened the door, and got in.

"So Takato, how was school?" my mom asked me.
I kept my eyes on the floor of the car. I felt much better about apologizing for lying and being a jerk to Jeri, but it didn't feel right. Being discrete the way I had been. "Great." I said.
"Good. So your fathers manning the store all by himself, and I don't like the idea of that, so you ready to go?" she asked me.
"Yeah." I said, seeing my Garden State CD and case on the floor of the car, from yesterday when my parents had picked me up. "Umm mom." I started. I struggled with the idea of asking for another second in my head, and chose to ask her. "Can we make a quick stop at Rika's first." I asked.

"Sure honey. What for?" she said, starting the car up.
"I want to ask her something, that I can't ask on the phone, much too important."
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"Hello Rika." Someone said from my bedroom door.

I quickly opened my eyes, but damn it, I could still feel the searing pain from the tears and guilt building up. I looked to the door and saw the last person I wanted to see right now… not when I was about to turn loose. What on earth was Erica Gails doing at my bedroom door?
"Why are you in my house, Erica?" I asked.
"Oh, I just followed you home." She responded.
"Well, why'd you do that?" I demanded again.
"Because tormenting you at school would make too much of a scene, if you can image that." She said.

"Your not gonna torment me… not here… not now." I threatened. I was not ready to fight with her right now… not when I was already so emotionally fragile.

"Why not? I bet your secretly dying to know why I didn't bring in a newspaper, or even say anything to you at the end of the day. Why I just wanted to know when this Takato was gonna be around?" she said.
She was right… and I hated it when she was right. "I don't give a damn about-"
"Hush, hush Rika. The important person wants to talk." Someone said from behind her.
I blinked back a tear and could see she wasn't alone. It was Jackie Bruzgo, Erica's thug of a friend. She was taller then me, stronger then me, and was basically there to stand as a wall between Erica and my fist. "Yes, Rika. Hush, hush," she mocked.

"Get out of my house." I demanded… I couldn't deal with them and fight back these tears at the same time. But what could I do? I had no where to run… I was cornered in my own damn room, for Christ's sake! And even if I could run, and I did, that would only make me a coward.

"You call this a house?" Erica said. "This place isn't fit for my dog."
"I don't-"
"No one," Erica started. "cares what you think."

I couldn't think of anything to say to her. She had planned this out perfectly. I don't know how she could have planned it better. "That's better… quiet suits you Rika." She mocked.

"Now, down to business." She said. "So the 'Great Gamer', the 'Digimon Queen', the heart and friendless Rika Nonaka finally got a life… and a boyfriend."

She paused, as if trying to save a picture of me in this pathetic state I was in. Savoring every bit of her utter victory, in her pause I thought I heard a car on the streets and prayed it was grandma, or even mom! Please God, deliver me from this. "Now… (pause) the paper says your boyfriend," she emphasized on the last two words. "got the crap beat out of him. It also says they originally thought it was only one person."

"Then it says they caught the four guys that did it. But I know they're all innocent. I know it was you that beat him." She said.
What? She… she was accusing me of attacking Takato! How could she? How could she possibly say such a horrible thing! "That's a lie!" I said, but I could barely get it out… I was already defeated and she was just preparing her killing stroke.

"No, Rika. It's the truth. I know it is, and I also know how the cops never caught you." She said. "I'm gonna tell you how I know… are you ready?" she asked me… no dared me, to answer her.
"I know for a fact… that your mom slept with the cop in charge to keep the case cold." She lied.
"Shut up." I said. But I had lost… the tears were blurring my vision again and I could tell . . . here came the killing stroke. Erica was gonna get her final victory over me. After this I would be less then nothing. And she had a witness to prove her victory.

"No, Rika. I don't feel like shutting up because… who turned off all the lights?"
I tried to see, but I couldn't. I could tell someone had indeed turned off the lights in my room… it was utter darkness.

"No… I think you should shut up." Said a different voice. A heroic voice… a saving voice. Someone else was in the room… someone that cared about me… someone…. someone…

"Who the hell are you?" I heard Erica ask into the darkness… darkness? Yes! That had to be it, the darkness that had filled my heart for so long has come to my aid when no one else would. It has come out of its shell in my heart and is here to save me.
"Where… where are you?" I heard Erica say. But I could hear the terror in her voice rising. The darkness was going to get her.

"What are you!" she screamed into the darkness, the terror evident.
I stood on my knees, on my bed. I looked around… the darkness was here for me, and I was ready to offer myself to it, so that it may do it's acts through me. "Where are you?" I said softly into the darkness.
"Here." It said from in front me… but it was no longer the darkness… it was… it was…

"Takato…" I said softly again into the darkness…
The lights were back on, but my vision was still blurred, but I could make out the outline of someone standing between me and where Erica had been standing… it… it had to be Takato.

"Who the hell are YOU?" I heard Erica say, the terror loosening in her voice I could tell, now that she was no longer blinded by the nothing.
"My name's not important. But you need to get the hell out of here… NOW!" I heard Takato say.
He… he was being violent. The only time I had ever heard the anger in his voice was when he forced Guilmon to digivolve into Magidramon… when Leomon died.

"I'm not leaving… I have business with Rika. Now if you don't mind moving." I heard Erica demand.
"You have no business here, you have forced entry, and that makes you a trespasser." He warned them . . . he sounded as if he were back with Guilmon … back as Gallantmon.

"You idiot, we didn't break open the door, like robbers, it was already open." She said. I felt the tears slide down my cheeks, I knew she had Takato now… I realized I hadn't locked the front door when I came in.
"Yet your still in someone else's house, uninvited, and apparently trying to attack an innocent person. Apparent to me, and I've got my finger on the dial button." he said.

A long pause resulted. "Whatever, come on Jackie. We'll get Rika tomorrow, when Mr. Hero isn't around." I heard her say, and the door was closed. Freedom! I rubbed the tears away from my eyes, but I could feel more were already on the way. I was alone in my room, and the door was open. Then, just as the tears started to form again, I saw Takato come running back through the door. I couldn't handle it anymore!

"Rika, are you all right?" he asked me, coming to sit on the bed with me.

I opened my mouth to answer yes, that I was fine. To tell him to leave, and go home. To tell him I would call him later, to assure him of my 'fine-ness.' But I couldn't pull myself to lie to him. I pulled him into a big hug, and cried into his shoulder. I couldn't handle this stress that came with these emotions anymore. I let the tears flow as free as they wished. I couldn't handle being pushed around anymore. I was tired of being the tough girl… I was just so damn tired of putting up the act… of putting on this curtain of lies that I could handle life without emotions. He knew better though… he knew me better, I thought. Around him I could cry, I could be the weakling with emotions and feelings just like everyone else. Around him I could… I could be true to how I felt. I choked out the sobs and pulled my face from his shoulder and tried to strangle out a sentence… "Nothing… nothings alright." I said.

"That's okay… just as long as your safe." He told me, bringing me back into the hug.
"Safe… that's how I feel… with you everything's just so safe." I said, before burying my tears in his shoulder again.
He hushed me. "It's alright… its alright to cry. It's alright to breakdown and just let loose once in a while."
I pulled myself away once more. "No… it's not okay!" I said. "I can't breakdown… it's just not… its just not . . ." I couldn't choke out the last few words.

"Right?" he offered, and I shook my head. "Don't you know yet?" he asked me. "That when your with me, it's not about what's right and what's not? When you're with me the only thing that matters is that we're together. Everything else is just a distraction to try and take us away from each other, but none of it… none of that… can take us apart."

I didn't respond, or question him; I just followed his orders and cried into his shoulder. He was right though… as long as we were together, nothing could take us apart.
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After an unknown amount of time of my total breakdown, I realized that I had stopped. I picked myself up from my bed, and realized I was alone in my room. Had… had I only dreamt it all? Had I merely dreamt Erica at my door and Takato saving me while trying to re-conjure thoughts of guilt I had felt a month ago? No! No, it had been all too real. But as I looked around my room, I saw that everything was the same. Nothing was different from when I had laid down on my bed when I got home. I got up and walked to my door, pushed it open slightly and could hear laughter of my mother's coming from the kitchen. I guess I had dreamt it all. I guess I'm just going to have to treat the entire affair as just a dream, and only as a dream.

Only this, and nothing more.

My knees felt weak, my eyelids heavy, and my lips felt like concrete. But as I walked into the kitchen I saw my mother... and Mrs. Matsuki! They were cooking something, but I wasn't sure what. I leaned on the wall from the weakness in my legs, and turned my eyes to the dinner table- where I could see the back of Takato's head and directly across from him was my grandma. "Rika dear, you're awake!" my mom exclaimed.

"What!" I heard Takato say, as he turned around in his seat to see me.

He got up and came towards me, "What are you doing up? Your not really in a position to be walking around." He said. "Come on, come sit down."

He helped me keep my balance to the dinner table, pulled out my chair, and I sat down, grateful to not have to walk around anymore. He sat next to me and continued his game of regular cards with grandma. "You fell asleep ya know." He said.

"My mom was here so we just decided to watch over until your mom and grandma got home. But then they asked us to stay for dinner. My dad's on his way over, he was just closing up when we got off the phone with him earlier. He was pretty mad we left him at the store all day long, but I think he'll get over it."

"Also, I did your homework for you. I didn't have much trouble, except with the world cultures. Did you know your math class is like a whole chapter behind mine now?" he said, rather then asked.

I wanted to say 'thank you', to thank him for everything, for… listening, and for saving me like the way he did, but the words wouldn't come out of my concrete lips. After watching Takato and grandma play double solitaire for a while Takato's dad showed up and we ate dinner. After a few bites of some hot food my lips came alive, and I could talk freely. Dinner was all right, I guess Mrs. Matsuki must be a pretty good cook if she could make my mom's cooking good. After dinner our parents just kept talking while we went back into my room.

"I'm sorry" I apologized… but I wasn't sure for what.
"Rika, there's nothing to be sorry about. All you did was shed some well overdue tears. That's all." He said. "Now… close your eyes."
"What?" I asked.
"You heard me… close your eye's, I've got a present for you, but I have to pull it out first."

What? I felt like I was looking at a child Takato, like a seven-year-old. "Okay, but watch yourself." I warned.
I closed my eyes, and I could feel him moving around. He was trying to find something, but what? "Okay, open em up!"

I opened up and he held out a CD case. "What is it?" I asked.
"It's the Garden State soundtrack! I'm giving it to you! I know you'll love it!" he said.
"Well… let's listen to it. Get my CD player." I said, after a long moment of pause.
"All right!" he exclaimed, getting up to look for it. He found it a few seconds later on my desk.

He brought it over, held the headphones between our head, turned it up to full blast, put on the first song, and I cringed. It was the same wordless noise coming from my alarm clock. Apparently he didn't take any notice though, he simply said, "Okay, this first one is called Don't Panic by Coldplay. Let Go by Frou Frou is on here, and so is that Shins song you like. I just know you'll love it!" he exclaimed.

"And the best part is all the song titles and who they're by is written on the CD so if you don't know the name just read the CD!"

As soon as he told me the name of the song, I could hear it clear as day! What was wrong with my hearing? I don't know, but I'm not gonna think about that now. I simply nodded and enjoyed the song.
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After about an hour of our parents talking and us just listening to the CD, Takato's parents decided it was time to go. We headed outside, but our parents stood by the car and just talked some more while we stood on the concrete path closer to the door, so we could talk privately. "So I just know you're gonna love that CD." He said, for the umpteenth time.

"Yeah… I know." I said.
"So, Rika can I ask you something?" he said to me.
"Yeah, ask me anything . . . I owe you so much."
"Stop. I don't want you to owe me anything." He said.
"Umm… okay." I said.

"Well… it's actually the reason I came over at all today." He said, but stopped.
"Come on Takato, talk to me here." I urged him on.

"Well, because everyone seems to think so…" he said, but stopped again, and looked down at the ground.
"Come on, Takato… you know you can talk to me about anything."

He looked back up at me with a grin. "Do you want to be boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked.

I thought it over a good whole second. I let my mouth hang open, I looked down at the ground, looked away from him, then looked him dead in the eye. Time for some tough love. "Umm… Takato… Ugh, I … ugh… I want us to be friends, just friends… but I also want us to be SO much more then that." I said, the enthusiasm evident in my voice in those last few words.

He smiled greatly, his legs seemed to give way but he pulled me into a hug before he could fall down. It was the same hug from earlier… only this time it wasn't comfort I felt, it was joy. "Takato! Come on!"

I looked to his parents who were waving him over, and to my mom and grandma who were coming back to the house. We pulled away, and he smiled at me before walking away, but I called him back. "Takato, wait."

He turned quickly, that smile still there, and said, "Yes?"

"I never thanked you… for everything."

"And you'll never have to." He said before turning around again and walking to his car.

I smiled at this, and started walking back to my own house, and couldn't help but think, Wow, I've got a boyfriend now… I wonder how Erica will respond to this?
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A/N: Yeah! Hello people! How is everyone today? Or tonight depending on when you're reading this? Whatever. Did everyone enjoy the story? Who ever can name the part that I stole from Batman Begins the fastest gets a sneak peak in an e-mail to the next chapter! And I don't mean the whole 'where are you?' 'here' thing… that one doesn't count. And who ever can name the line that I stole from Garden State gets a better prize. Who wants to know the titles of the last three chapters? This is all of course just to get you people to review. Note, I don't own any of the songs I put at the end of the chapter, I didn't feel like interrupting an intense scene. Note, also that if you didn't get it already, I am absolutely in LOVE with the Garden State soundtrack. If you have it you again, know what I'm talking about, but if not, get your but out there and get it somehow! Or at least listen to all the songs I have listed. Anyway sorry about how this one was written. My computer got messed up again! Blah! The entire second half of the story was deleted when I went to go re-vise it the other day! Check it out from "That when your with me, it's not about what's right and what's not?" it was all gone! Everything from that point on was just not there anymore! I think you can imagine my frustration. I had such an important part in the middle of the end that I just couldn't remember! Without the 'A/N:' the first time it was 16 pages double spaced all on its own… this time, at this particular line I'm writing on right now, double spaced, is now just the 2nd (now 3rd) line on the 16th page! Ugh! What am I missing? What's that? Way too long, you say! Never! Okay maybe just a little. I'm too attached to getting all the little details across! It's a curse, I know. Anyway, please bare with me with the cheesy heroics Takato made in the Rika's room. The whole idea of him saving her sucked but I couldn't think of another way of Erica leaving without seeing Rika cry, so whatever! You're gonna have to use your imagination with me here though, him turning the lights off is believable. Rika's bed is what… seven, eight feet into the room? Those two girls were lets say four or five feet from the bed, that gives Takato plenty of room to slip into the room unnoticed, flip the switch on the lights, and get between the girls and the bed. I was desperate to get a crying scene in okay people! So sue me (sees a few lawyers start to move in closer to actually sue me!). Okay, never mind, geez! Tha… tha… That's all folks!

Love always, and Rukato forever. Peace.

(Truck horn sounded and trucker talking) Honk! Honk! I thank you.
(Chappelle in the background) I'm Rich Bitch!
(I also don't own 'The Chappelle Show' closing or anything remotely like that.)
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