"Dylan, I need to talk to you." Rommie's voice brought Dylan out of his thoughts.

"Yes Rommie?" he attempted to snap back into high-guard stance. Rommie sat down and faced him.

"I had a session with Beka today..." Dylan raised his hand.

"Whoah. Isn't this the whole patient confidentiality thing?" Rommie hesitated.

"Yes, but I think the circumstances are different when her life is in danger. I'm not a real counsellour and I could use any input you'd be able to give." Dylan nodded.

"All right then."

"I think I'm getting to an understanding about it." Dylan raised an eyebrow.

"Rommie, you've only had one session, don't these things take time?" She nodded.

"Yes, but I didn't mean it like that. Beka is far from ok. What I meant is, I think I've got some sort of idea on why she's feeling like this." At Dylan's nod, she continued. "Dylan, she's been abandoned her whole life, and she's never known why. When children don't get explanations as to why bad things happen, they believe it's their fault. When someone repeatedly gets abandoned like that, they start thinking things. That they can't be loved. That the only way people won't run out on them is if they're perfect. That's why Beka thought we all hated her after the flash incident. In her mind, she screwed up, and nobody will care about her if she screws up." Dylan shook his head.

"How can she think this? How can she possibly think we don't care about her." Rommie shrugged.

"You have to understand, this is something that will always be in her mind. The fear of being abandoned. I can't take it away, you can't take it away. All we can do is convince her that we love her. She's the one who has to fight it."

"Harper?" Rommie called. "Harper!" The engineer flinched.

"Um, sorry Rommie," he stuttered, "I wasn't sleeping...I was just resting my eyes!" Rommie raised her eyebrows, and Harper looked at her sheepishly.

"Ok, so I was. I was a bit tired, that's all." Rommie looked worried.

"If you're not feeling well, perhaps you should ask Trance to take a look at you." Harper shifted uncomfortably.

"To tell you the truth, I just haven't been sleeping well lately." He tried to avoid looking at her, as if he was ashamed. Rommie looked at him with a look of understanding.

"Beka?" she asked softly. He nodded. She turned around and walked away. "Me too, Harper," she whispered, "me too."

Harper tried to get back to work, but found he couldn't get anything done. His mind was on other things. He had only been to see Beka once since Dylan confined her to medbay. It had been weeks and he felt awful about it, but he just couldn't get himself to do it. He'd gone over it a million times in his mind, but everytime he was planning to go, he found himself too scared.

"I'm just making it worse for her, aren't I?" he thought and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "She thought we all hated her, and here I am, strengthening that belief." He sighed with self-disgust. "She's done so much for me, and I can't even help her through this." He got up. He had to clear his mind somehow.

Dylan shook his head as the engineer left the room. He knew what Harper was going through, and even though his head screamed no, his heart couldn't deny his request. Harper wanted to go on leave for a while, using one of Andromeda's slipfighters. He couldn't say he was happy about it, Harper had a tendency to get into trouble, and he had enough worrying to do with Beka. However, he knew his young friend needed this time alone desperately. He had only been to visit Beka once, which annoyed Dylan slightly, but he could also understand it. After all, since Dylan himself had confined Beka to medbay he hadn't been to see her. It was just too hard to see her like that. He wanted to pretend everything was fine and Beka was just taking some time off, but he knew it wasn't true.

"Will she ever be ok?" a voice in his mind asked. He tried to shake it off. Of course she'd be fine. She had to be. He shook his head. If this didn't get better...he knew he couldn't keep a mentally ill person aboard the ship. She'd be a burden.

He wanted to smack himself after he thought that.

"What am I meant to do with her then? Put her in the Maru and let her go off? I might as well shoot her myself. Hand her over to some random planet's mental health care? Yeah, I'm sure that'd make everything better. No, I'm keeping her here, no matter what. Maybe I can't keep her in medical forever, but there will be a way. There has to be."

Harper turned off the engines and let himself drift. He sighed. So he'd come here to clear his thoughts, but it didn't seem to help. He looked out through the viewscreen. Nothing but space around him.

"What am I doing here?" he asked himself. "My whole world's been torn apart, and I'm hiding away." He swallowed the lump of guilt in his throat. "All this came so suddenly. I thought I could help, but obviously I can't. Maybe it'd be better for Beka if I just stay away." He knew it wasn't true though, he was just trying to justify his actions. He suddenly felt sick.

"I need to get back," he thought, turning the slipfighter around. "I need to get back to her." He was preparing to enter slipstream, when he spotted a ship blocking his way.

"Oh, crap," he whispered. It was Nietzchean.