Epilogue
I watch her now, while she sleeps, the faint murmur escaping her lips, the delicate rise and fall of her chest. She stirs under my gaze and looks at me without focus.
"Whatcha doin?"
"Watching you. But - not in a creepy way."
"Duh."
She pulls me in and takes me under and I atone for my misdemeanors over and over again.
"You know," I say at last, exhausted, ecstatic, ready for more, but wanting to go back to sleep, "I was thinking… now that you've decided we're gonna be together for the rest of our lives…"
"Oh I've decided, have I?" she says in mock indignation.
"Don't interrupt please baby. As I was saying, now that we've decided we'll most likely, probably, almost definitely, spend the rest of our lives together, wouldn't it be a good idea-"
"Alex," she warns, her tone low and threatening, the kind you'd use on a cat about to shit on your carpet.
"I mean, it really seems beyond obvious that the sensible thing to do-"
"Oh sensible is it? How romantic-"
"Would be to get married."
"Aaalex," she laughs as she distractedly kisses my cheek and I respond by pulling her into my arms for something a bit more labour intensive.
"What?" I offer, feigning innocence.
"You've been watching the L Word again haven't you?"
"No," I lie.
"And we all know how that one ended up."
"But… just imagine," I offer wistfully, "Mrs. And Mrs. Nuñez." I hold my arm out to the air, trying to summon up a mental image.
"Ha! I think not," she slaps my arm away. If anyone's taking anyone else's name, it'll be mine thank you."
"You see, you do like the idea," I tease her.
"I don't know," she sighs, looking slightly more thoughtful. "It doesn't even really count in New York does it? I mean, would it really make a difference?"
"Well, maybe not legally, over here, although I think perhaps you get rights to visit me in prison and half my fortune and stuff."
She rolls her eyes, "Yes, both highly likely of happening."
"But, y'know, don't you think it would be nice, to commit to each other, in front of our friends and family? Those who've supported us along the way. And to say to each other that we're going to grow old together," I was on a roll now, "and to offer a big fuck you to anyone who disagrees. And we'd go back to Toronto to do it."
"Yeah, well we'd have to-"
"And you'd be all stunning in your white dress," her eyes visibly light up at this thought, "and you'd have Hazel and Marco there as your bridesmaids – Ow!" I get a much harder slap for that one, but carry on regardless, "And Jay could be my best man-Hey!"
"Don't push it honey!" she warns me, slithering on top of me, her eyes sparkling mischievously, making me laugh.
"Doesn't that sound nice?"
"It does. It does sound nice," she indulges me with some kissing, and I forget all about this new fantasy, until, "but I'm not ready for that yet."
"No," I agree, already distracted by that dip in her back, the warmth of her enveloping body.
"Because, y'know Alex," she's kissing slowly along my collarbone towards the base of my neck, "I was thinking we should wait until I graduate. The ring I have in mind… that's gonna take you some saving."
She hovers above my face, unreadable eyes, devilishly delicious, yet edging with sincerity.
"I hope that is a joke."
"I never joke about jewelry," she says. "I saw it on 7th Avenue. We should go there this afternoon, I could show you."
"You will do no such thing," I affirm, resolutely making it my mission to tire both her and myself out past shopping time.
Resolutely calm at the possibility that perhaps she is being serious.
Resolutely in love, with this angel, asleep on my shoulder.