Chapter 11
Elizabeth and Darcy walked for close to an hour, not knowing in what direction. Darcy tried, inarticulately at first, to explain to her how valuable she was to him. His feelings, first suppressed, then expressed in a manner so disagreeable that it had caused a painful year-long estrangement, were now related to her so simply and beautifully and poignantly that Elizabeth found it difficult to meet his eyes. He spoke of his anger after Hunsford, and of how he had turned that anger against himself. He told her how much he regretted having spoken to her in a way that devalued her, when she was the most valuable person in his life.
"I was brought up," he said, "to think meanly of others in comparison to myself. And such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth."
At that, she forced herself to meet his gaze, so that he might see her joy.
"I told you I loved you at Hunsford, Elizabeth, but I do not believe I even knew what true love was then. I despised myself for loving you!"
He looked at her anxiously. "Should I have admitted that? I thought myself weak for loving you, yet your rejection and your harsh commentary on my character made me stronger. Oh, I did not know it then, I was wounded and angry, but soon, I began to see the truth of your words. I was so ashamed that I felt compelled to go away, Elizabeth. I had not behaved in a gentleman-like manner, as you so aptly told me. You cannot know how often I have relived that moment, or how those words tortured me. And worst of all, I came to know I had hurt you. I remembered your face, the shock, the pain, and I had to face the awful reality that it was I -- I, who claimed to love you! -- who had put it there.
"And that was when I came to know true love, Elizabeth, because then, for the first time, your feelings were more important to me than my own. I was a better man for having known you, and for having been rejected by you, and I only hoped I would be able to come to you and prove how much you meant to me. Bingley's letter was the catalyst, but I am certain that had he not written, I would have found my way to Hertfordshire very soon anyway."
Elizabeth stopped and slipped her arms around his waist.
"I am far from blameless, William. I believed the worst of you with so little evidence."
"I am not surprised, Elizabeth. Wickham excels at deception, and my manners were deplorable, so why should you not believe the worst!"
"How easily you exonerate me, whilst assuming so much blame yourself!"
"But I was the one who claimed to love, Elizabeth."
"I think it is time, William," she said gently, "to put the past behind us. As of this moment!"
Darcy agreed. "I have said what needed to be said, and now all that remains is to tell you how much I love you. Truly love you, Elizabeth, with all my heart."
"And I love you, William. You are best man I have ever known."
He bent down to kiss her, then offered her his arm, so that they might continue to walk. So much had been said that they were now silent, and merely touching was communication enough.
Every now and then Darcy turned to look at her, an expression of joyous disbelief illuminating his features, and to convince himself that she was, in truth, in love with him, he pulled her towards him and kissed her. After this occurred a half dozen times, Elizabeth decided to lighten the mood and playfully asked him what he was about, taking such liberties, when at any moment Miss Bingley or Mr. Clifton might turn around and observe his indecorous behaviour.
"I kiss you so often, Elizabeth, because I have just now come to know that my kisses are welcome and my sentiments are returned. I only seek to reassure myself, as this happy state of affairs is so novel I cannot help but take advantage of it!"
"That was an exceedingly wordy way of saying that you know you can kiss me with impunity now, Sir, with no risk of having your face slapped!"
"I believe you are teasing me, Elizabeth."
"Yes I am, Willliam, and you had better become accustomed to it as I intend to do it often. And while you are still quite susceptible to my charms and unlikely to take offense at my teasing, I might as well ask why you were so taciturn yesterday and gave me so little encouragement!"
"Perhaps because my overtures of the previous day were so soundly rejected!"
"How like you, William, to have so logical an answer to so illogical a question. Still, you might have spoken more!"
"A man who had felt less might."
"Had Georgiana not lured me to your side and then left in search of an imaginary cup of coffee, we might still be circling each other warily rather than conducting ourselves in this very improper manner."
Her eyes were sparkling, her lips pursed together, suppressing a smile, and he nudged them open with his own.
"I thought it was past time for another kiss, Elizabeth."
"You will only encourage my impertinence by rewarding it in that manner, William!"
"I will risk it," he said, kissing her again. Having restrained himself for so long, he was unable to prevent himself from touching her, so he took her hand in his, kissed it, then tucked it under his arm.
"There," he said. "So that you may not so easily escape."
"You will find me a very willing prisoner, William. I am completely under your power."
"Let us see about that, Elizabeth," he said, swiftly steering her behind the wide trunk of a most conveniently located tree, effectively blocking them from view, even if Miss Bingley or Mr. Clifton had chanced to turn around.
"My prisoner..." he mused, taking both her hands in his and pinning them up against the tree, above her head. He leaned forward and kissed her again, first on her mouth, then, with his hands occupied holding hers, he used his lips to caress her, brushing them softly against her ear and down the side of her neck. He moved closer, pressing his body hard against hers.
"Oh, Lizzy, have you any idea how much I have longed for this day?"
"Free my hands, William," she whispered. "I want to touch you."
He released her hands, but not before he brought each to his lips to kiss them.
Elizabeth placed her palms against his cheeks and stared at him, as though seeing his face for the first time.
She played with the unruly curls that graced his temples. "Even when I disliked you, I always found you so beautiful, Fitzwilliam. Disturbingly so!"
He smiled as she put her arms around his neck.
"I do not now know whether I should be flattered that you found my appearance disturbing, Elizabeth. Am I disturbing to you now?"
"Oh, exceedingly so, Sir. More so than ever," she said, her face reddening.
"I am glad of it. In some small measure it avenges the effect you had on me, from the very first time I met you."
"How so?"
"Let us just say that the effect on a man is far more pronounced and more difficult to conceal when he is overcome with a woman's beauty. And in your case, Elizabeth, it was far more than physical beauty that captivated me. Your demeanour was, and is, enchanting."
"You might as well call it impertinence, for that is what it was! And is," she teased, running her fingers once again through his dark curls.
"Liveliness," he insisted, pulling her tightly to him again.
"Insolence," she murmured, nuzzling her face against his chest.
"I never found you insolent, dearest Elizabeth."
"I was speaking of you, not me," she said, lifting her head to look at him, an impish gleam in her eyes.
"Are you deliberately trying to provoke me, Lizzy?" he asked, trying to keep his expression stern and failing miserably.
"Not at all," she said, laughing as he swept her up into his arms and twirled around out of sheer exuberance. "Just pointing out that you are not a man without fault, contrary to the opinion expressed by a certain adoring young woman who walks ahead of us on the path! Quite far ahead of us now, Fitzwilliam, you had better put me down so we can catch up and save my reputation!"
"Just for today, dearest, I am far more inclined to want to risk your reputation than save it . And in case the news of our scandalous behaviour reaches Netherfield before we do, I intend to speak to your father the moment we get back." He set her back on her feet and looked at her seriously.
"You do not think your father will have any objection?"
"I might have to convince him that I like you far better than I did a year ago! But that should not be difficult, love, as my affection will be apparent every time I look at you. I love you so very much, William."
"Lizzy, just one day ago I believed I would never hear you say those sweet words. Say them to me often. I will never tire of hearing them."
"I love you, William. Kiss me again."
He pulled her closer and gently pressed his lips to hers.
"No, William, kiss me properly. While we are still concealed, before we go back to the house."
Darcy was unable to resist such an invitation. His right arm around her waist, his left around her shoulders, he held her body firmly against his. Elizabeth responded by wrapping her own arms around his neck. They stood thus connected for some moments while Darcy stared first into her eyes, then allowed his eyes to leisurely roam towards her full lips, then back to her eyes again.
"Are you prepared for a proper kiss, Lizzy?"
"Yes," she replied, though in truth, she was not quite sure what a "proper kiss" entailed.
Darcy set about demonstrating the procedure for her. He gently bit first her upper, then her lower lip, then teased her mouth with his tongue. He covered her mouth with his, enclosing it within his lips, then slid his tongue back and forth, pressing lightly, urging her lips open.
Elizabeth sighed and closed her eyes, the weight of her body suddenly burdensome to her. Her grasp on his neck tightened, and she leaned back into his arms so that he effectively was holding her upright. She slid her tongue into his mouth, and he began to slowly encircle it with his own, while his lips continued to massage her mouth. As she melted into his embrace, Darcy lowered his right hand so that it cupped her buttocks, and he pulled her even more tightly against him, so that the lower half of his body was pressing into hers. Even through his overcoat, she could feel the outline of his erection against her belly. Ah yes, she thought, that is the "effect" of which he spoke. Difficult to conceal, indeed! She knew that she should put an end to such proceedings, but she found she was incapable of it. There was a pleasurable sensation in her nether regions that she sensed would become even more pleasurable if he continued in this vein.
"There," he finally said hoarsely, as he released her. "That was a proper kiss."
"If that was a proper kiss, William, I fear what an improper one might be."
"An improper kiss shall be the subject of another lesson, Lizzy."
"Might we begin the lesson now, dearest?"
"I think not. Such a lesson will require a setting far more intimate than this one." And a state of considerable undress, he thought, dwelling for a few moments on the parts of her luscious body he would kiss improperly.
Chapter 12
Georgiana and Lydia had returned to Netherfield a full half hour before Elizabeth and Darcy strolled in, followed a few minutes later by Caroline Bingley and Mr. Clifton. Georgiana studied her brother's face, and although he tried mightily to remain inscrutable, he could not contain his jubilation, and soon a wide smile covered his face.
"Fitzwilliam...Miss Elizabeth...are you...dare I hope?" she asked.
Elizabeth was touched by Georgiana's concern, and she smiled and nodded.
"Yes, we are, but not a word about it, until I speak to Mr. Bennet," Darcy answered. "Miss Bennet has proposed, and I have accepted, and..."
"Brother!" Georgiana exclaimed. "Miss Elizabeth is a good influence, indeed! You are engaged but an hour, and already you speak in jest!"
"Do you see, Miss Bennet?" Darcy said with a mischievious grin, "I speak the truth and I am not believed. What am I to do?"
"You are to speak to my father, Fitzwilliam. Ignore your brother, Miss Georgiana, he is rather giddy tonight!" She raised her eyebrows and shook her head in mock consternation. "Come, I will take you to my father," and she whispered to him as they walked away, "You are incorrigible! Do not look so pleased with yourself!"
The couple approached Mr. Bennet and Mr. Darcy quietly asked him for a private audience in the library. Mr. Bennet looked from his daughter's face to Mr. Darcy's and instantly knew.
"Lizzy?" he asked in amazement.
"We will talk later, Papa," she said gently, as he left with Mr. Darcy.
Mr. Darcy was determined to speak the truth to Mr. Bennet, but he did not think it wise to tell him, as he had jokingly told Georgiana, that Elizabeth had proposed to him. So he chose his words carefully.
"Mr. Bennet, your daughter Elizabeth has done me the supreme honour of agreeing to become my wife. I love her deeply, Sir, and I ask your blessing."
"Does my daughter love you, Mr. Darcy? Forgive me if I seem dubious. If she does love you, this is a rather amazing change of heart!"
"And no one knows that better than myself, Sir. I proposed to Miss Elizabeth last spring in Kent, and was soundly refused. Deservedly refused. I returned to Hertfordshire determined to improve her opinion of me and win her love, and I am overjoyed to report that I have been successful."
He thought it best not to mention his second, unsuccessful proposal and its painful results!
Mr. Bennet contemplated the very apprehensive young man who stood before him. Had he heard correctly? The dour Mr. Darcy referring to himself as "overjoyed?"
And wonder of wonders -- Mr. Darcy had already proposed to Elizabeth a year ago and been refused! And his Lizzy had not breathed a word of it to her family; well, perhaps Jane had some knowledge of it, he thought. Lizzy, always his favourite among his daughters, rose even higher in his estimation. Mr. Darcy was considered the most desirable bachelor in all of Derbyshire, and Lizzy had turned him down. And knowing his daughter's frankness, Mr. Bennet had no doubt that Mr. Darcy had been told in no uncertain terms why he was being refused. For a gentleman who was most certainly unaccustomed to being denied anything he desired to be humbled by his daughter – and to return a year later to win her esteem at the risk of being humbled yet again – was astounding. Mr. Darcy's persistence and his recognition of Elizabeth's worth went a long way toward earning Mr. Bennet's respect.
He found it impossible to deny his consent to a young man who obviously loved his daughter very much, as long as he could reassure himself that his sentiments were returned by Elizabeth.
Mr. Bennet sighed. "Mr. Darcy, you express yourself eloquently, and I will give you my consent, after I have spoken to my daughter."
"Be assured, Mr. Bennet, that I will settle a generous sum on your daughter, and I will do everything in my power to assure her happiness."
"Yes, yes, young man, of that I have no doubt."
He shook Mr. Darcy's hand.
"Will you ask my daughter to come in?"
"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir," Darcy stammered.
Darcy strode out of the library in search of Elizabeth. He bent down to whisper in her ear, "Come, your father wants to see you."
"Fitzwilliam, did he...?"
Darcy smiled. "Yes, Elizabeth, he is inclined to consent once he hears your assurances that you no longer despise me!"
Elizabeth reached up to stroke his cheek.
"I never despised you," she whispered. "You angered me, and your manner of expression insulted me, and as you will soon learn, my philosophy is to remember the past only as it gives pleasure. Be assured my father will know this very day what my feelings are for you now!"
"Tell me again," he said. "Because I cannot hear it often enough!"
"I love you with all my heart, William."
He looked around quickly to be sure they were unobserved and bent down to gently kiss her. Mr. Bennet picked that very moment to poke his head out the door of the library and he coughed loudly.
"It has taken the two of you far too long to travel the distance of the corridor! I might ask that you cease your current diversions and enter!"
And while he feigned indignation, the expression on his daughter's face told him all he needed to know about her feelings for Mr. Darcy. Her eyes were shining, her complexion heightened. She was utterly besotted with her fiancé, as he was with her.
Even so, that comforting knowledge would not prevent him from having a bit of sport at the lovestruck couple's expense!
"Close the door, Lizzy," he said as they entered. He nodded at the two chairs opposite the desk. "You may both sit down. This might take a bit of time."
He leaned forward, his hands clasped. He paused, thoroughly enjoying Mr. Darcy's discomfiture.
"Lizzy, Mr. Darcy tells me you have agreed to marry him, and I must admit, this has come as something of a shock. You and Mr. Darcy never seemed particularly friendly toward each other; one might even say your relationship was somewhat adversarial."
"My sentiments have changed, Papa."
"Hmmmph. It is difficult to comprehend. You and Mr. Darcy had an acquaintance of...oh...some six months a year ago. Is that correct?"
"Yes."
"At the end of those six months, Mr. Darcy tells me, you rejected his proposal of marriage. In a most vehement manner, I have no doubt!"
"Yes, Father," Elizabeth said, gazing in amazement at Mr. Darcy. He told my father of his failed proposal at Hunsford!
"A year passes, during which time you and Mr. Darcy have no contact whatsoever." He raised his eyebrows, seeking confirmation.
"Yes, that is right."
"You meet again, less than a week ago, and in the space of those few days, you fall in love and agree to marry him. We have no need to read romance novels with such goings-on in our own family, Lizzy!"
"Might I say something?" Mr. Darcy interjected.
"Yes, you may, Mr. Darcy," Mr. Bennet said tolerantly.
"The man who asked your daughter for her hand last spring is not the same man who is before you today, Sir. Miss Elizabeth's just appraisal of my character forced me to take a long, hard look at myself, and I did not like what I saw. Even if I had not won her hand, Mr. Bennet, she would have done me a great service."
Darcy's face was red. He was unaccustomed to revealing himself so intimately.
Finally Mr. Bennet took pity on the man. He might have even been a bit ashamed of himself, had he not remembered Darcy's slight of his daughter at their first meeting the night of the assembly in Meryton. He has paid his dues, he thought, and I had best go easy on him as my daughter is looking at me quite ferociously!
"Very well, Mr. Darcy. You have convinced me. And now for you, Lizzy. Might I speak to my daughter alone, Sir?"
Darcy nodded and rose. "Thank you, Sir." He bowed and left the library.
"Father!" Elizabeth indignantly exclaimed. "Was it really necessary to humiliate Mr. Darcy so shamefully?"
"Now, now, Lizzy, any young man who proposes taking on as opinionated a wife as yourself had best be made of stern stuff! I was merely testing Mr. Darcy, and he has succeeded admirably. But Lizzy, I need your assurances. Do you love him? I know he is rich and you shall have a big house and finer carriages than Jane, but will all that make you happy?"
"Father, might I remind you he had all those things last April, when first he proposed? They did not impress me then and they do not impress me now. Such things would never make me happy, but being loved by Mr. Darcy has made me the happiest woman on earth."
Her eyes filled with tears.
"He is the best man I have ever known, Papa, and I am ashamed of the opinion I had of him a year ago. A lesser man might have quickly forgotten a woman who not only refused his proposals, but abused him so abominably and accused him of despicable behaviour with no impartial evidence to support her accusations.
"But that is not what he did, Papa," she said, looking down at her hands in his lap. "He defended himself honourably against those charges he knew were unfounded, and sought to amend those aspects of his manner I found offensive. It could not have been an easy thing for so proud a man to not only admit his faults, but to overcome them."
She looked up at her father.
"And he did it all for me, Father. Simply because he loved me."
Mr. Bennet was genuinely moved. He stood and walked around the desk to embrace his daughter.
"You have convinced me, Lizzy. I have been supplanted by Mr. Darcy as the man who is primary in your affections. I could not have parted with you to anyone less worthy, my dear."
He kissed the top of her head.
"Now go to your young man and tell him all is well. You have my whole-hearted blessing, my child."
"Thank you, Papa."
"And do not forget, you must speak to your mother as well, Lizzy. Do not expect me to perform that fearsome task! I am sure her raptures will be heard as far away as London!"
Mr. Darcy was waiting outside the library, standing stiffly against the wall. He looked at Elizabeth questioningly.
"It is done, William. My father has given us his consent, and..."
He could not contain himself in his joy. He opened his arms, and she rushed into them, and their lips met in a passionate kiss.
"I do not care who sees us!. I want to shout it out so all will hear. Lizzy, I have never before known such happiness."
When at last they reluctantly separated to prepare to return to the assembled company in the drawing room, Lizzy said "And now it only remains to inform my mother, William. Prepare yourself for a most enthusiastic reaction!"
"Lizzy, your mother may shout and jump and dance a jig and it will not disturb me! Nothing could temper my happiness today. Come, let us go and tell Mrs. Bennet she is soon to be the mother-in-law of a man who has ten thousand a year!"
"And let us not forget the mighty estate in Derbyshire, Sir," Elizabeth said teasingly as she took his arm and prepared herself for the inevitable onslaught.
"And even with all that, Elizabeth, yesterday I had nothing. Today," he said, kissing her hand, "I have your love, and because of that, I have everything.."