Disclaimer:
I only own Quintana Co. and the Imperial Order of the Quintana Empire, but I do not own any material related to Pokemon, Star Wars, or the Crap Adventures of Lizardman.
Special Thanks & Tributes:
Special thanks to hanan for inspiring me to write this fanfic; you da man!
The Imperial Adventures of Emperor Quintana-
The Movie
Announcer: One day, the Emperor went for a stroll, when he encountered the Pagan Hindu Rappers.
(The Emperor got up after he bumped into the Pagan Hindu Rappers, which caused him to fall on his back.)
The Emperor: Gasp! Pagan Hindu Rappers!
(Soon, the Emperor tried to attack, but the PHRs stopped him with a mesmerizing Pagan Hindu Rap. Minutes after the rap...)
The Emperor: Ah, what the hell? They die! Boss Shell, attack!
(Sends forth a Blastoise. Boss Shell tried to attack the PHRs, but they have unleashed a Pagan Life Force Defense Sphere to deflect Boss Shell's attacks.)
Pagan Hindu Rapper: You cannot defeat us, fool! We're Pagans; we are invulnerable against your hopeless offensive maneuvers!
The Emperor: Curses! Now I have got to find another way!
(After the Emperor left, a Pidgey landed, and entered the PLFDS.)
Announcer: Meanwhile, in Megalopolis...
(Sounds of noisy vehicles & busy civilians passing by.)
The Emperor: Hmmm. There has to be a way to defeat those impudent Pagan Rappers.
(Soon, the Emperor got up and wandered around in the streets.)
The Emperor: I'm hungry.
(Suddenly, he saw his favorite Japanese restaurant.)
The Emperor: Aha! There it is; Satoshi's Super Healthy Restaurant!
(So, the Emperor went in, bought the Super Healthy Special Combo, and began eating it. And then, )
Cashier: Greetings, young grasshopper. The Japanese prophecy has foretold that this would happen.
The Emperor: (puzzled) I see... And who might you be, exactly?
Cashier: I am an anonymous, independent seer who has been sent here to fulfill this Japanese prophecy: to teach you the way into defeating the Pagans.
The Emperor: Very well, then. In that case, I am willing to accept your elite training methods.
Cashier: Then it is agreed; we shall commence your training, effective immediately!
(A loud, racuous gong is heard. The Emperor and the Cashier are transported to a quiet, docile training field.)
Cashier: There are three tasks in which you must pass, grasshopper. The first task is simple: You must cross the Bridge of Rabid Houndoom in order to get to the other side. If you succeed, you will be one step ahead. Otherwise, if you fail, you fall down in the Pit of Rabid Houndoom!
(Suspenseful music is heard, ending with a dramatic reverb.)
The Emperor: Well, that was easy.
(Without warning, a "demon" shoved the Emperor into the Pit of Rabid Houndoom.)
The Emperor: Arrrgghhhh!! Rabid Houndoom!
(Suddenly, Darth Sidious appeared in his dark, mysterious cloak.)
Darth Sidious: Do not fear; I shall come to the rescue!
(Darth Sidious used his Force Movement on the Emperor and moved him back on the bridge to safety.)
The Emperor: I humbly thank you, O Mighty Lord Sidious.
Cashier: Well done, young grasshopper. Now, your next test is... to give me $5,000.
The Emperor: So, your services don't come cheap, huh? I like the way you think, sir; here you go!
(The Emperor gladly gave the Cashier $5,000.)
Cashier: Good. Now your third and final test is... to give me another $5,000.
The Emperor: Hmmm. OK.
(The Emperor gave the Cashier another $5,000. Now the Cashier led the Emperor to where the PHRs are standing.)
Cashier: Your training is complete, grasshopper; now you can defeat the Pagans without much trouble. Go, and may the Ancestors of Japan guide you.
(Now the Emperor starts fighting the PHRs for a quarter hour. And then, the Emperor began to finish the job.)
The Emperor: At last, victory is mine! Hail Quintana!!
(A parade appears, commemorating the Emperor's victory against the Pagans.)
Announcer: And so, the Emperor continued to fight crime in Megalopolis, and, like most successful characters, he lived happily ever after.
The End.
Author's Note: Well, folks, I hope you've enjoyed the Imperial Adventures of Emperor Quintana, based on the parody of hanan's "The Crap Adventures of Lizard Man." Please R I didn't get any reviews since I was making progress on my fics! Hail Quintana!!