Dear House, Cameron and Foreman (For your eyes only)
I would say 'if you're reading this letter I'm probably dead' but since that is a little overused I won't. See, I know that I'm dying, and I know that you think that me killing myself like this is immature, maybe you're even mad at me for not having the guts to stick it out. If these are your thoughts then there is nothing really that I can say to diverge your opinion, however I would like to try and maybe give some sort of an explanation as to why I have done this.
You know, writing this letter seemed like a much better idea in theory. I mean, I know for sure that House would come to my funeral the second that he heard of my death, but Cameron and Foreman (if you're reading this) I really am not completely sure about. I know that Cameron didn't like me, and I have always gathered that Foreman hated me, so there is a chance that they aren't even reading this because they didn't come, I suppose. I guess, though, that upon reading this House would have tracked Cameron and Foreman down and gotten them to read it, I don't know. Alright, I am definitely rambling here, and for that I apologize. To shorten up what was meant to be said in this sentence; I know that we haven't been the best of mates but you were all special to me, even though I know that I wasn't to you.
I know that in some ways you are blaming yourself for this, blaming yourself for not realizing (or in House's case for realizing and not doing anything about it) but you should know how thankful I am that you didn't notice. I wanted things to be over, there was no in between for me. I was in pain for a very, very, very long time and I didn't want to be in pain for any longer. You probably think that I wimped out or whatever you Americans say, but I didn't. As people, we are supposed to do what is best for us, and this was what was best for me.
House, you are probably wondering why I would choose to kill myself in the same way that my mum did, especially as you know how awful it was for me growing up with her. I chose it because it is slow and it is hard to tell what is going on. Cameron and Foreman, you didn't know that I started drinking three and a half months before I left. House, I know that you thought that I didn't know that you knew, but I did know. Thank you for not doing anything. I want you to know that as much as I would hate to admit it, I did see you as a father figure, and for your own satisfaction, you were a much better father then Rowan. Please, don't continue to torture yourself, let yourself out of your protective shell, it will make you much happier. As for me, forget about me. I know that you cared for me, and I thank you for that, I think that you are the second person (after Steph) to care about me, and I appreciate it. But don't beat yourself up over me; because this is what I want, this is what I planned. I will be happy now, in heaven with the Lord. Thank you, though, for all that you taught me, I hope that someday we'll meet again (just don't kill anybody and maybe go to church once a month or you can have one of my bible's and read it every once and a while or something). Thank you.
Cameron, I know that you didn't love me, and I hope that you found somebody that you do love, I really want you to be happy. I also know that you have done the math and know that I started drinking only a few days after you told me how you really felt, and I know that you are feeling a little guilty right now. I guess all that I can say to that is: don't. Cameron, there were a lot of things that led up to me drinking, me deciding to start down the path to death, and I guess you can say that being rejected by the only person that I ever loved (that wasn't my mum and my best friend Steph, but those were a totally different love, again with the rambling, sorry) was the straw that broke the camel's back. Don't worry about what happened to me, just be happy. Maybe have a few kids, you would be a great mum. Just promise me that if you do have kids that you will be a little less Cameron with them. By that I mean, don't be so much of a pushover that you let them walk all over you, but don't be too strict that they will end up hating you. Then again, I'm depressed and currently in the middle of committing slow suicide so maybe you shouldn't be taking parenting advice from me. Maybe forget about what I said.
Foreman, I've got to say that you are the hardest to write to, mainly because you and I were never that close. I guess all that I have to say is that it was a pleasure knowing you and move on. You see, I know that you are a great doctor, and so do you, so me mentioning it would really do nothing for you would it? I was blessed with getting to meet you, because you really were a great sort-of-friend despite that we never agreed on anything. You tried to help me when you thought that I was upset about something, and though I always felt that you were only doing it for the satisfaction of being one up on me, I appreciate it, even if I didn't ever really put your advice to use.
So, I guess that this is it, then. So, I just want to say goodbye I guess. I know that none of you believe, and that's fine, but I have to say that I hope that you go to heaven (in a very long time), because I think that all of you deserve that. Thanks again,
Robert Rhys Ryan Chase
(Doctor Chase)
With a tear rolling down his cheek, House folded the letter neatly and put it back in the envelope. He turned to his two ex-ducklings, who were both equally upset.
"I didn't hate him," Foreman said, barely above a whisper.
"Neither did I," Cameron replied.
The girl next to the door smiled, tears running down her face. "He knew that, deep down I think that he knew that."
Cameron frowned at her, "Who are you?" she asked.
"I'm Stephanie, Robbie's best friend," the girl replied, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. "Now if you would excuse me, I have to arrange with his lawyer a will reading after his funeral, and I also have some last minute details on his funeral to arrange. The church doesn't want to play the song that Robbie picked out so I need to find another one that I think he would like."
"Why are you planning this and not his family?" Cameron asked, "And he picked out his own funeral songs?"
"He knew that he was dying, Miss Cameron," Stephanie said with narrowed eyes. "And I am the only family that Robbie has." She glared at Cameron one last time before walking out the door and quietly shutting it behind her.
"Well, she was rude," Cameron huffed.
House turned to her, "Her best friend just died, give her a break, Cameron. Not to mention, I know that Chase didn't blame you or anything, but to her, you telling Chase that you 'used and abused' him was the straw that broke the camel's back. To her, you are the reason that he started drinking."
"Well, it's not my fault," Cameron said defensively.
"I never said that it was," House sighed, "Now go to your rooms that I booked for you across the hall and I'll see you in the morning for the funeral."
"House," Foreman said.
"NO," House replied, "Go, I'll see you in the morning," And with that, he pushed Foreman and Cameron out the door and shut it in their face.
"He didn't give us the keys to our rooms," Foreman frowned.
HCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCHCH
Sorry that it took me so long to update, I've been really busy, but I have a pretty easy week, so I should get another chapter up by Thursday, although I cannot promise anything. Thank you so much and please tell me what you think about this.