Appearances Can Be Deceiving
Chapter 5
Kara's fury with Lee as she left his quarters soon gave way to feelings of guilt concerning Sam. True, she had never been able to bring herself to believe the worst about Sam, but why hadn't she believed in him enough to stay by his side? She wished she could be as fearlessness as everyone thought Starbuck was, but she knew it was just a façade. She had literally run away from his bedside because she had been afraid. What a fraud she was! Chalk this up as yet another one of her frak-ups.
She found herself in the hangar bay of the Pegasus. She had been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't even remember how she got there. Fortunately a shuttle to Galactica was scheduled to leave in ten minutes.
As the Raptor left the Pegasus behind, she caught sight of the huge battlestar out of the window; seeing it made her think of Lee again. Had he himself really believed the lies he had told her? Maybe he had, but that didn't excuse his behavior. He wanted to believe the worst about Sam; this situation had just given him that opportunity. Wasn't he doing to Sam what he usually did to her - judging before he had all the facts and jumping to conclusions? It was bad enough when she took the brunt of it herself; watching him do it to someone else struck her as the ultimate in arrogance. She had watched him do it to his own father; Lee had blamed him for Zack's death. That time, though, her own guilt had led Kara to feel relief that his outrage wasn't aimed at her. At one time she had wondered if she and Lee could ever be happy together as more than friends. This latest episode just confirmed what her gut had always told her; their relationship was just too frakked up for that, and hadn't she just overheard the Admiral say she had good instincts?
As the Pegasus became smaller and smaller in the window Kara reflected on how most people (at least those not from Galactica) thought of it as the pride of the fleet. She only saw a massive, impersonal battlestar. Her gaze shifted to the pilot's window through which she could see the Galactica appear to grow in size as they grew nearer and nearer. Although much smaller and much, much older than the Pegasus, this ship felt dear and familiar to her. Her feelings for the ships themselves mirrored her feelings about the people on board of each.
As they approached the Galactica she became impatient for it to hurry and land. She had to get to Sam even though she knew she needed to check the flight rotation; she wasn't even sure how long she had been on the Pegasus.
As she exited the viper she caught sight of Chief Tyrol. "Chief! Do you know when my next shift starts?"
He looked down at his clipboard. "Not for another hour."
"Great! I'll see you then," she said as she sprinted off in the direction of the medical station.
She ran all the way, but when she reached her destination she hesitated to go further. What would she say when Sam asked her where she had been? We can work through that, she told herself and went inside.
Kara found Dr. Cottle standing at the foot of Sam's bed when she pushed the curtain aside. He glanced up briefly from the chart he was holding and said, "Nice of you to join us," as he returned his gaze to what he had been reading.
"How is he, Doc?"
"He'll live. Not so sure he'd ever be able to play pyramid professionally again, but since there are no professional leagues any more that shouldn't pose much of a problem."
"What the frak is that supposed to mean?" Kara asked impatiently.
"His left lung took the brunt of the attack; we keep having to drain fluid out of it. Hell, he had a letter opener go in one side and out the other. One of his bronchi was almost completely severed. She only got off a few stabs but they did a lot of harm. He should be able to live a normal life, but the physical strain of something like serious pyramid play is out of the question."
Kara was visibly shaken. She guessed that Sam felt the same way about playing pyramid that she did about flying a viper; she could only imagine how she would feel if she was told she would never be able to fly again.
"Has he woken up yet?" Kara asked tentatively.
"No, but that's because I have him sedated. If he wakes up and moves around too much he might reinjure himself. I'll give him another day before I cut back on the meds keeping him knocked out."
Kara found herself relieved to know he hadn't been awake wondering where she was. He had spent three months back on Caprica wondering why she hadn't returned after she departed for the fleet; she didn't want to put him through that ever again.
She stayed by his side as long as she could then ran to the head for a shower and reported to the hangar deck right on time for her shift. She hoped the Cylons wouldn't choose now to show up; she was still trying to make sense of everything that had happened, and she knew fighting Cylons without 100 concentration was asking for trouble. Her CAP shift went by uneventfully, however, and she returned to Sam's bedside as soon as she was able.
She sat down in a chair beside his bed and reached out to hold his hand. It was reassuring to feel his hand in hers, and she closed her eyes and remembered that morning back on Caprica…
She had gotten up before him and had hoped to get dressed before he woke. She had only managed to get her pants on before he looked at his watch and said, "We don't have to be up for another hour."
She ignored him and continued looking for her clothes. "So what are you going to do if you can't make it back to your ship?" he asked as he sat up.
"I'm getting back," she said determinedly.
"I know we were able to take your sorry ass by surprise."
"Frak you!" she said, her eyes shining intensely at him.
"Nice, but the truth is…we really don't know what the hell we're doing. A lot of our tactics are just stuff we saw in the movies. We could use some professional advice."
"You want some advice? You're on the losing end of this fight. Give it up before you all die. Head up into the mountains above the ambient radiation and just hole up."
"And what? Wait to die?" he asked.
She knew she wouldn't have wanted to hear the advice she was offering either if their roles had been reversed. "As soon as I get back to Galactica I'll send a rescue party."
"Yeah, right!" he said disbelievingly.
"If I say I'm going to do something, I do it."
"You always such a bitch in the morning?"
She threw her sock down, walked over, glared down at him, and said, "Count on it," as she started to walk away.
Sam grabbed her wrist, pulled her to him, and murmured, "My kind of woman…" as he amorously kissed her stomach.
A small gasp escaped her lips. She had felt aroused the day before just being in close proximity to him while playing pyramid; the feel of his mouth on her was even more intense. She found herself caught off guard; hadn't they just been arguing? She didn't like this feeling of not being in control. All she could think to say was, "Hey - we have a mission to accomplish."
"So what?" he said as he continued to kiss her.
"Mission!" she repeated as she pulled herself away and turned her back on him.
"Fine, whatever," said Sam rubbing his forehead in frustration.
She immediately regretted placing herself beyond his touch. She had to admit to herself that the attraction she had first felt towards him was now becoming overwhelming and the desire to have him touch her again made her utter words that Starbuck never said. "I'm sorry, okay?" She was standing next to him again – very close in fact. "I didn't mean for it…"
"Gotcha!" he laughed as he interrupted her. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her on top of him as he lay back down. His eyes looked up at her with such playfulness she couldn't help but smile.
Kara stopped to think about what a pivotal moment that had been in their relationship. The masks had come down in that instant. Just as she hid herself behind the persona of Starbuck, Sam had hidden part of himself from the world as the leader of his resistance group. While their reasons for doing so may have been different (Kara's to keep the vulnerable part of her safe from the harsh world around her, and Sam's to provide decisive leadership to a group in a hopeless situation), they both needed someone with whom they could totally be themselves; they had found that in each other at that moment, and it would continue to bond them together.
"So weak! So, so very weak!" she laughed in response. Her eyes were once again gazing at him intensely, but this time the desire she was feeling for him was there too. He took her hands in his, and she enjoyed the sensation of him caressing them as he had the day before.
He smiled as he looked up at her and said, "Lighten up a little bit. It's only the end of the world."
Her face broke into a huge smile. She felt the urge to dominate him as she pinned his hands to the bed. He did not resist, and his eyes, while still playful, also mirrored the longing she felt. Looking him over like a tigress surveying her prey, she bent her head down and kissed him passionately.
As Kara continued to kiss him, she rubbed her body against his. She could immediately feel his erection beginning to form. While still kissing her he managed to whisper, "If you'll release me from bondage I'll make it worth your while."
Kara raised herself up enough to look in his eyes and replied in an alluring voice, "What do you have in mind?"
"You'll just have to take a chance if you want to find out," he said teasingly.
She considered him for a moment, smiled, and said, "Let's see what you have to offer," as she sat up and released her grip on his wrists. She was still straddling him.
He propped himself up on his elbows and continued to raise himself up till he was in a sitting position with Kara astride him. He smiled as he gazed into her eyes and then directed his attention to her breasts hidden behind an austere, military-style bra. He tenderly rubbed his face on the material between her breasts, breathing in the scent of her as his palms rubbed her nipples through the cloth. He slowly folded the bottom elastic up exposing the beginning curve of each breast and began kissing his way across the newly exposed skin.
Kara's body was responding quickly to his attention, and a mixture of desire and impatience made her reach to jerk the bra over her head herself, but he stilled her hands and softly chided her, "No, let me," as he slowly pulled the bottom of the bra towards him and up to release her breasts. He let his tongue dampen each nipple and then softly blew across each one causing them to become hard as diamonds as he continued to slowly push the bra upwards. Kara lifted her arms straight up in the air to provide as little resistance as possible. Some part of her brain recognized this posture as a form of surrender, and surrender was just what she was feeling. Finally the bra came off and his right hand went back to caressing a breast while the other hand reached around to her back and pulled her tight against him. His mouth began to suck the nipple on the unattended breast. Kara could feel the heat rising within her as a moan emanated from deep within her.
Sam withdrew his hands in order to undo Kara's pants. She moved her hips up to help facilitate the removal of the rest of her clothes, and she felt another thrill race through her body as he scooted down till his mouth was directly under the spot between her legs. His tongue began circling her center. Her fingers entwined themselves in his hair and pulled his head tight against her. He began frakking her with his tongue; at first it was very slow, but his pace picked up speed until it was entering her relentlessly. It didn't take long before she was screaming out, "Oh, Sam! … Oh, Sam!" repeatedly. Her orgasm left her breathless and she collapsed back on to his raised knees behind her.
"I think there may have been a few Cylons in the southern hemisphere that didn't hear you, but other than that, I think everyone else left on the planet probably did." Sam said jokingly to Kara.
Kara smiled an 'I feel too good to even argue' smile and just said, "Shut up!"
Kara thought about how telling each other to 'shut up' had become an inside joke between them. Other people were mystified whenever one would tell the other to shut up and the other, instead of getting offended, would just smile a knowing smile.
She took a deep, luxurious breath and said, "Let's find out if you're the strong, silent type or if I can get you to break my decibel level," as she shifted her position to take his shaft in her mouth.
His body reacted like a bolt of electricity had surged through it, and an intense moan left his lips.
She stopped what she was doing long enough to tilt her head and say mischievously, "Mmmm… if that's any indication, my money's on you breaking the sound level."
"Shut up!" was all he managed to say during her brief reprieve. She returned her mouth to his erection and did indeed soon have him loudly testifying to the effect of her efforts.
As he approached the point of climaxing, Kara stopped her ministrations, straddled him, took him in her hand, and rubbed the end of his shaft against her center. She could feel herself becoming quickly aroused again. She slowly lowered herself on to him, impaling herself on his shaft.
They both felt the energy radiating out from the point of their connecting bodies. Sam raised himself up and wrapped Kara in his arms as she continued to ride him. She had him yelling her name and another thrill jolted through her body. They came together and collapsed into each others arms as they lay down beside one another. Sam gently brushed stray hairs from her face and kissed her tenderly.
Kara could sense someone standing near her and opened her eyes. It was Helo. "Hey," she said quietly to him as he came closer and rested a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey yourself. How's he doing?" he whispered, following her lead.
Kara sighed and shook her head. "Doc Cottle seems to think he's out of the woods, but may have trouble in the long-term. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to play pyramids again professionally."
"Ouch. Has he woken up yet?"
"No, and the Doc doesn't want him waking up till tomorrow; he wants him to stay immobilized a little longer."
"Have you been here this whole time?" Helo asked with concern.
Kara felt a surge of guilt. "No, but I should have been."
Helo wasn't exactly sure what she meant by that, but he told her, "Kara, don't be so hard on yourself. I know better than just about anybody what you two mean to each other."
Kara drank in his words. "Thanks, Karl. I needed to hear that. Not everybody understands," she said, thinking of Lee.
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