Appearances Can Be Deceiving
Chapter 7
Kara walked into the observation lounge. She saw Sam pacing back and forth in front of the large window.
She was only a small distance away from him, but he was so lost in thought he had not heard her approach. Using her Starbuck intonation she put her hands on her hips and said, "So what was the question you wanted to ask me, Sam?"
Sam turned around quickly; she had startled him. "You don't waste any time getting to the point, do you?" he replied, coming over to her and embracing her.
It was hard to keep up the Starbuck swagger while being hugged, but she tried her best. "Well?" she asked again looking up at him as they broke apart.
She should have known better; Sam had never been one to be intimidated by Starbuck. He tenderly placed one hand on the side of her face while brushing a few stray hairs out of her eyes with the other. He lowered his mouth to hers and adoringly kissed her lips. As he kissed her she felt the agitation that had been building in her all day leave her body. Sam had always been able to affect her like this. He was quite direct in not only telling her he loved her, but showing her as well. It made her feel like he could look in her eyes and see her soul, and what he saw in there did not scare him or make him recoil from her. The first time she had felt that way it had scared the hell out of her; she had tried to push him away, erect the Starbuck façade, and hide behind it, but his honesty and openness with her would not allow her to keep it up for long. She needed that in him, especially when her inner demons and insecurities would flare up, like right now. The whole pretense would shatter and he would still be there loving her. They had gone through this cycle several times since his rescue from Caprica - enough times for her to know she his love was one constant she could count on.
"You know how much I love you," Sam began.
"Yes," she affirmed.
"And I want you to know that that will never change. I will always love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He was lightly kissing her face while he spoke. "And what I want to ask you is do you feel the same way about me, Kara?"
Kara thought about how he made her feel, not just now, but every time they were together. She did love him; she couldn't even imagine life without him. That was why she had been almost suicidal during that period when Scar was attacking, because she thought she would never see him again. When he was in the medical station recovering from his encounter with the Cylon bitch again she had had to face the thought of losing him. She knew that he made life worth living for her. He made her feel safe and brought out the best in her. He was the best thing that had happened to her since…since Zack.
"Yes, Sam, I do."
"How about we make it official then? Kara Thrace will you marry me?" Sam asked, hugging her close while still looking into her eyes.
The thought of Zack sent a chill down her spine. She had managed to frak things up superbly the first time she had agreed to get married. She wouldn't admit to being superstitious, but she did feel an aversion to becoming engaged. It was like announcing, 'I'm happier than I have a right to be!' and daring the gods to try and put a stop to it. She knew if she agreed to marry Sam she would be walking with a sense of doom hanging over her until the wedding. It wouldn't be from not wanting to marry Sam; it would be from fear of losing him like she had lost Zack.
"Yes, Sam, I'll marry you, but I want to do immediately. I don't want a long engagement."
"How about tomorrow?" he inquired with a smile. It was getting late and he wasn't sure they'd be able to make the arrangements that quickly.
"No. It has to be tonight – if you still want to marry me," she looked up into his eyes.
Sam heard the doubt in her voice, giving him an out in case he had changed his mind. He looked into her eyes and willed her to see the love he felt for her reflected there.
"What are we waiting for, then?"
Lee Adama was having dinner with his father in his father's quarters aboard the Galactica when there was a knock on the hatch. Both men let out quiet groans. Two months had gone by since Baltar had become president. At first everyone was willing to cut him some slack, knowing it would take him a while to learn how to run things. Now, however, people were beginning to realize that Baltar's one and only priority was settling on New Caprica; every other concern was left to languish. People began turning to the only other person they perceived as being able to get things done - Admiral Adama. So when for the third time that evening someone had come knocking, Lee said he would clear the dishes away while his father went to see who it was. Lee was tired of playing the role of concerned bystander while people poured out their problems to his father. He didn't understand how his father had the patience to deal with all these problems that should be handled by the President of the Twelve Colonies.
Out of sight of the hatch door Lee was surprised to hear his father when he opened it exclaim, "This is a nice surprise! Come on in."
"I – we – have a big favor to ask of you, sir."
Lee found himself frozen to the spot where he was standing. He didn't want to take a chance on missing a single word of what was said. He had recognized Kara's voice immediately.
"As the Galactica's leading officer you have the authority to perform ceremonies, don't you sir?"
"Of course. What kind of ceremony did you have in mind?"
Kara glanced from Admiral Adama to Sam back to the Admiral. "A wedding ceremony?" she said inquiringly.
A smile broke out on the Admiral's face. "Can I assume this would be for the two of you?"
Kara nodded, unable to speak as the Admiral embraced her in a tight bear hug. Finally he let her go and extended a hand to Samuel. "Congratulations, son."
Sam, with a big smile, shook his hand and said, "Thank you, sir."
"So when did this happen?" he asked as he motioned them to sit down.
Kara sat down next to Sam, looked at her watch, and replied with a smirk, "About 20 minutes ago."
"You're not wasting any time. Surely you knew there was no rush to see me, though. I'll be glad to perform the ceremony whenever you like. What time frame were you thinking about?"
"Um…how about right now?" Kara said intensely.
The Admiral sat there looking at her and Sam for several seconds before asking delicately, "What's the rush, Kara? Surely you want time to plan this?"
"No, sir, not really," was all Kara could bring herself to say before looking down at her hands fidgeting in her lap.
Sam added, "Kara doesn't want to be engaged. She said she would marry me as long as we could do it right away."
Adama reached out and rested a hand on Kara's knee. "Is this because of Zack?" he asked quietly.
Kara took a deep breath, slowly raised her head up, and looked the Admiral squarely in the eye. In her best Starbuck voice she answered, "I just don't see any point in waiting, sir. I know I want to marry Sam, I don't care about having a big, fancy wedding, and we both know in the times we live in none of us is guaranteed a tomorrow."
Admiral Adama sized her up for a few more seconds before saying, "Very well, then. I have a book around here somewhere called Ceremonies from the Twelve Colonies. I'll go try and find it. Kara, do you need any time to get ready?"
"I did manage to get my hands on a dress. Guess I'll need time to figure out how to wear it," Kara answered with a smile.
Admiral Adama was very glad to see her smile; he still had his suspicions that Kara's desire to avoid an engagement period was mainly due to Zack.
"Here's what I was looking for," said the Admiral, pulling the book off the bookshelf and handing it to Sam. "You thumb through that while I take care of a few things. Kara, you're welcome to use my bathroom to get dressed."
"Thank you, sir," said Kara as she gathered her bag with her dress and headed for the bathroom.
Admiral Adama left the outer room and headed for his bedroom. He found Lee standing just inside the doorway looking like he was in shock.
"I assume you heard?" he whispered to Lee.
"You can't be serious about performing the ceremony!" Lee challenged him.
"Why wouldn't I? He added gently, "It's what Kara wants, Lee."
"Who in their right mind gets married less than an hour after being asked?" was all Lee could think to say.
"Kara has always made decisions by the seat of her pants, Lee, you know that. She goes with her gut. Remember when Anders was attacked, you thought her trust in him was misplaced? Turned out you were the one that was wrong."
The Admiral searched his son's face. "Is there some other reason you object to this marriage that you aren't telling me?"
Lee dropped his head so his father couldn't see his face. How could he tell his father that he loved Kara, had always loved Kara, and that the thought of her marrying someone else was the most abhorrent thing he could imagine?
"No," was all he could bring himself to say while still not looking at his father.
"Okay then. Would you call down to CIC and see if anyone there could come to my quarters for a few minutes? We'll need another witness besides you. Meanwhile I have a call to make as well."
The blood drained from Lee's face. Serve as a witness to Kara marrying another man? Why not just go ahead and stick a knife in his heart?
Lee placed the call to CIC and spoke with Colonel Tigh who was the acting commanding officer. "Could you send a volunteer to the Admiral's quarters in a few minutes? He has been asked to perform a wedding ceremony and another witness is needed."
"Who's getting married?" inquired Tigh incredulously.
"Sorry Colonel, that information is available only on a need to know basis at this point."
Lee replied. He had no desire to hear Colonel Tigh's opinion on Starbuck getting married.
"All right, then," groused Tigh. "I'll send you your witness."
Lee went back to his father's bedroom where his father was just ending his call. "Thanks, Laura, I owe you one. Bye."
"Let me go fill Sam in on my call and find out if he's picked out a ceremony," said Adama to his son, leaving Lee standing all alone in the bedroom.
Just as he left the room, the bathroom door opened and out walked Kara. She was looking down at her dress, smoothing it out as she said, "I won this in a triad game awhile back. Haven't had a chance to try it on before now." Just then she looked up and saw Lee gaping at her. "What the frak are you doing here?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.
This was only the second time he had ever seen her in a dress. She was even more stunning than the last time. This dress was a low cut, simple ivory white with spaghetti straps. Reaching to the floor, it hung straight down, showing off her every curve. In fact, the top was slightly tight across her ample breasts causing her raised nipples to show unmistakably. Lee's breath caught before his gaze moved up to her face and her words finally registered in his brain.
"Evidently serving as a witness to your wedding," he responded coolly.
"Who asked you?"
"The Old Man."
She was silent for a moment as she considered his reply. "What is it you want from me, Lee?" She asked, changing the subject. Although she had called him by his first name, her voice still had an edge to it.
"I just want you to be happy, Kara." Lee answered. Kara knew Lee well enough to know when he was bottling up his emotions, and this was definitely one of those times.
She had not seen him since that fateful day in his quarters. If he really wanted her to be happy then why had he jumped at the chance to assume the worst about Sam? "Shouldn't I be the one to choose what makes me happy? Why do I have the feeling you think you should be the one to decide?"
Kara's words, being so close to the truth, stung. He felt strongly that marrying Sam so quickly was going to be a huge mistake, but she was right that it was her decision to make, not his. All he could do as a friend would be to try and make her understand why she should not rush into this, except he was too close to her. No matter what reasons he could give her he knew she would think his personal feelings were clouding his judgment - again.
"Kara, nothing I say is going to change your mind, I know that. That just makes it all the harder to sit by and do nothing while you frak up your life because that's what I think marrying Sam will lead to."
She eyed him impassively before speaking. "Don't worry, Commander" He noticed she was no longer calling him Lee, "I won't come running to you to pick up the pieces if I do 'frak up my life'. Now, if you'll excuse me, I don't want to keep Sam waiting any longer," she said as she brushed past him.
Lee followed her resignedly out of the bedroom into the outer room of his father's quarters. As he entered there was a knock at the hatch. Admiral Adama answered it to reveal petty officer Dualla standing there.
"I hear you need a witness?" she asked smiling as she entered. The smile quickly vanished as she saw Lee standing near Kara who was clearly wearing a wedding dress.
"What's going on?" she asked to no one in particular as her face paled.
"Kara and I are getting married," said Sam, moving over to Kara's side. "You look so beautiful," he whispered to her while enveloping her in his arms. He loosened his embrace to look at her face. "Are you ready to do this?" She nodded her head slightly and Sam's face lit up. He hugged her again tenderly.
Turning to Admiral Adama Sam asked, "Are we ready to get started?"
The Admiral was finishing his scan of the ceremony Sam had picked out. It was an unusual one originally from Picon. They would need a few items to perform the ritual, but that wouldn't be a problem. "Just give me a few minutes to get what we'll need and then we can get started."
"Samuel, you'll need to wear a short sleeve shirt, and you and Kara will both need to be barefoot," the Admiral instructed.
Samuel removed his outer shirt to reveal a gray t-shirt. Lee couldn't help but notice he still wore the dogtag around his neck that Kara had given him on Caprica. He sat down on the sofa to untie his shoes. Kara had some slip on pumps. She put one hand on the back of the sofa to steady herself as she reached down with her other hand to remove a shoe. It only required a slight amount of bending, but it was enough to give Lee an unobstructed view down the front of her dress. He caught his breath. Kara must have heard him, because she looked up at him and seemed to realize where his gaze was directed. She straightened up hastily and kicked off her other shoe without using her hands.
Lee really wished he had not seen what he had seen. Those were definitely not military issue panties. How am I going to get through all this? he asked himself. On top of everything else he could sense that Dee had not taken her eyes off of him since entering; he didn't dare meet her gaze just yet. He wasn't sure he would be able to hide from her all the emotions he was feeling right now.
The Admiral asked Kara and Samuel to stand before him with Kara on his left. "Lee you stand next to Kara, and Dee you stand next to Samuel, please, and we'll get started."
"We are gathered here to celebrate the union of these two people, Kara Thrace and Samuel Anders. Matrimony is a sacred state, not to be entered into impulsively. Do you both avow that you come to this point in your lives willingly and have thoughtfully considered what you are about to do?
"Yes," answered Kara and Sam in unison.
"Do you both consent to wear the mark signifying the union you are about to enter?"
"Yes," they once more repeated together.
"Please embrace one another so that your upper left arm Kara, and your upper right arm Samuel, are touching."
At this point Admiral Adama put down the book he was reading the ceremony from and picked up a shallow bowl with a dark liquid at the bottom. He turned a cup, which looked to Lee like it was rimmed with a sponge-like material, upside down and dipped it into the dark liquid. He walked around Lee till he stood on the opposite side of Kara and Samuel from which he had stood before. He lifted the cup up and let the excess liquid drip back into the bowl for a few moments. Then he brought the cup up to the embraced arms of Kara and Samuel and pressed it against their skin.
"Please loosen your embrace," he said as he redipped the cup back into the liquid. Their separation revealed an arc of a circle stained onto each of their arms. The Admiral put the cup back up to Kara's arm being careful to match the placement of the cup to the arc already there. He then rolled the entire edge of the cup against her skin transforming what had only been an arc a moment before into a perfect circle. He repeated this process on Samuel's arm and then returned to where he had begun the ceremony on the other side of them.
Placing the bowl and cup down and picking up the book again he stated, "Please embrace one another again so that the symbol on your arm shows only the one united circle. Also, Samuel, extend your left hand out in front of the two of you, palm side up. Kara, place your right hand on top of Samuel's, palm side down.
"Lee, put your right hand on top of Kara's and repeat after me, 'I, Lee Adama, stand today in witness of this union.'"
"I, Lee Adama, stand today in witness of this union." Lee had never witnessed a wedding ceremony quite like this one. He had not expected to have to do anything beside stand on the sidelines and sign a paper testifying to having witnessed the event.
"And Dee, you place your hand on top of Lee's and repeat after me, 'I, Anastasia Dualla, stand today in witness of this union.'"
Dee seemed to be enjoying the ceremony and smiled broadly as she repeated, "I, Anastasia Dualla, stand today in witness of this union."
"Samuel, repeat after me, 'I, Samuel Anders, promise to love Kara, cherish her always, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, so help me gods.'"
"I, Samuel Anders, …"
Samuel was repeating his vows, but Lee's mind was unable to process the words. He had definitely not been prepared to find himself actively participating in the ceremony. He was standing mere inches away from Kara's back able to breathe in her scent, able to hear each breath she took, able to feel her hand underneath his. She was assaulting his senses in every way imaginable without even being conscious of doing so. His hand was beginning to tremble. Dee's icy fingers gripped his in order to try and stop the tremors. The coldness of her hand was in contrast to the warmth of Kara's underneath his. Samuel's right hand rested on Kara's upper back just under his nose. Lee fixated on the strands of Kara's hair being held down by Samuel's hand. He didn't know why this bothered him so much, but he found himself wanting to reach up and release her hair from this man's grip. Sam's hand, however, loomed like a stop sign in his face, declaring Kara to be off limits to him. That's what this is all about, isn't it?... Forsaking all others… staying faithful to him…
"Kara, repeat after me, 'I, Kara Thrace, promise to love Samuel, cherish him always, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, so help me gods.'"
Somehow he had not expected to feel this overwhelming sense of loss. He had focused so much of his thoughts on thinking how this marriage was a bad idea that would come back to haunt Kara, that he had never stopped to think how it would haunt him as well. He felt he was losing something precious to him and was impotent to do anything to stop it. His hand was still trembling despite Dee's best efforts, and he was beginning to feel claustrophobic.
Kara began, "I, Kara Thrace, promise to love Samuel…," Lee's heart began to beat faster and his breathing was coming out in rapid short bursts that were moving Kara's hair on her shoulder, "…cherish him always, in sickness and in health…" Lee could see goose bumps forming on her shoulder. Her head dipped down to her right for a second and he couldn't be sure but he thought he heard her mutter 'frak, Lee' before her head went back up and she finished her vows in a rush, "forsaking all others, so help me gods." Kara's head movement had caused the strands of her hair that had been trapped under Samuel's hand to become free. Lee didn't understand why this mattered so much to him, but it gave him a momentary sense of relief.
"So say we all," said the Admiral as he put both of his hands on top of Dee's.
"So say we all," Kara, Sam, and Dee responded in unison. Lee had totally forgotten he was supposed to reply as well.
"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."
Lee watched as Kara's hand slipped out of his and went up to the back of Samuel's head to bring his mouth down to hers. His mind went back to the image of Kara kissing Samuel the day she had returned with him from Caprica. Both times the sensation had reminded him of when he had been shot. This time even more so, because he felt himself falling…
The sound of Lee's body hitting the floor jolted everyone's attention away from the newly married couple.