A/N - Hey you guys! Yay..I'm glad you still like it! Hehe. Alot of you asked if I wrote the lyrics last chapter..I know I replied most of you but just for the record Yes, I did..I write all the songs in my stories. I'm glad you guys liked it. Now-This chapter isn't as long as I thought it was but it's still good sized I guess. I'm having alot of fun writing in Jude's pov. For some reason it's easier? I don't know but I have 6chapters written so far :). So keep reviewin and I'll keep postin. Thanks for the reviews so far!

Disclaimer - I don't own Instant Star

Chapter 2 - I'm trying

I went home feeling kind of giddy that day. I had actually written a song. That was the first time I sang after he left..It felt kind of good, even if it was about him. When I got home my mom and Don weren't at the house, only Sadie. I certainly didn't want to be stuck at home with her. I mean, we get along sometimes, but when we don't..well..It's not exactly good.
"Hey." Sadie says to me as I walk in. She seemed to be in a good mood..meaning there was probably a boy involved.
"Hey." I say back, feeling a little uneasy.
"You're home late." She says in a sing song voice. I roll my eyes and start towards the stairs.
"I actually wrote a song today." I chose my words carefully before saying them. I know Sadie and I know if I mention Tommy she will go nuts on me, I know from experience.
"Oh yeah?" She asks, coming out of the kitchen.
"Yep." And that was the last of our conversation..it was actually our longest in days. I make my way into my room and stare at all the ice cream tubs and empty tissue boxes. Ugh, This was not me. To sit around and cry for some guy? Okay so I cried for Shay..that was different. We actually went out. Tommy showed no sign that he cared for me. He left me, if anything he showed he didn't care at all. I started picking up all the trash and throwing it in the small waste basket I had by my door.
Afterwards, I thought about going to Kat's. She said I never got out anymore. She was right, I admit. So I did, I got up after looking around my room. It looked a little better. And then I walked back downstairs, down the street, and on my way to Kat's.
"Jude?" Kat asked, obviously surprised to see me. I smiled.
"Hey Kat." I said with a fake grin spreading across my face. She smiled back, her's actually being real and opened the door wider so I could come in. We walked to her room and started talking about everything and anything.
"I wrote a new song." I say, feeling comfortable around her again. She raises an eyebrow at me and opens a bag of potato chips before saying anything.
"You finally getting over the one who shall remain unnamed?" She asked, pointing the bag in my direction. I smiled weakly and hesitated before taking a few chips.
"I'm trying." I say, shrugging. She nods, obviously understanding what I'm going through.
"Thats all you can do." She says. I smile and there was a comforting silence as we chewed on the chips. It's been way too long since we hung out like this. I miss this. I miss being me.
The next few days were kind of hard, now that I had written one song, Darius expected me to be able to write like I use to. Meaning he expected atleast three songs a week. Yeah..right.
"D..I don't think I can do that." I defend, leaning against one of the walls in his office. His eyes hardened and his face didn't have the same soft look to it that it had had for the past month.
"Jude. You know I've been trying the best I can to make this easy for you since Tom left," He started, I winced at his name, Darius must have noticed cause he shook his head.
"But you are an artist and you are with G-major for a reason. To make music..so I suggest you start making music, or else I'll have to find someone else who is actually willing to put effort into their work," I could tell he was trying to be nice. I understand where he is coming from, so I nod. He tells me I can do it and then tells me I'm free to go. Everytime I'm called to his office I feel like I'm in school or something in the principal's office. You know how frustrating and nerve racking that is?
"Harrison." A familiar voice floats over to me and I smile at the sight before me. It was Speid in one of Darius' gold chains. He was doing an impression of Darius that was hilarious and I coulnd't help but laugh.
"He goin' hard on you?" He asks, suddenly acting concerned. Lately speid seemed like he had grown up a bit..and I liked it. He wasn't the same immature boy who I dated. I know, I know, It's only been a little over a month since we dated, but something seriously is different about the boy.
"He's just doing his job." I say, shrugging off his comment. He smirks and takes the chain off.
"His job..right." He says sarcastically before placing the chain back where he found it. I shake my head and smile at him before he heads to studio B with Jamie and Patsy.
I head over to studio C noticing Kwest had a distant look on his face. Kwest was usually cheerful..meaning whatever it was that was bugging him, must be pretty bad.
"Kwest? You okay?" I ask, closing the studio door behind me. He finally seems to notice that I've approached him and looks up at me. He tries to smile, but I can tell when it's real or not. He was forcing this one.
"What's going on?" I ask, sitting down next to him.
"Nothing." He insisted, now trying to change the subject.
"We should record the vocals for 'Bound' again, then add the bass"
"Kwest, come on, what is it?" I urge. He looks away from me and runs a hand over his head. Whatever this was definitely wasn't good. "Jude." He says, his voice was so low that I could barely hear him. I shivered, unable to help it. I didn't like that tone..not one bit.
"Yeah?" I ask, trying to swallow the major lump that had formed in my throat.

"It's about Tom."
My eyes widen and I'm not sure if I want to hear anymore. I lower my head and stare down at my hands which have started to shake. God, I can't even hear his freakin name without going into hyperventalization. After a few minutes of trying to calm my nerves I look back up at him and notice his intense stare he has on me. This definitely was not good.
"What about him?" I tried so hard for that to come out confidently, but I screwed that up. My voice cracked, showing my vulnerability. Kwest stares at me for a long minute before shaking his head and looking away again.
"It's nothing." He says, finality in his voice. I'm kind of scared to ask again..I don't think I will. I'm not sure I want to know anyway. Whatever Quincy is up to is his business. If he wanted me to know..he would have told me. Atleast called me.
"Okay." I breathe out. After that he motions for me to go in the recording booth. I don't hesitate this time..I just go. I sung the song a few times, each time more confidently and finally as Kwest would say..'I nailed it.'

A/N - I seriously do hate notepad. Ugh. Thanks again for the reviews and I hope yall still like it. Please review:)