A/N - Wow..hey everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews! They were awesome! (sniff) I've been so darn sick lately..seriously..I was in bed for like two says..I'm trying to keep up with the story and keep it interesting. Hope it still is? But I still feel horrible..(sneeze) Ugh. (sigh) Thanks again everyone and please continue to review?
Disclaimer - I do not own Instant Star
Chapter 11 - Not this time
Jude's Pov -
After I come out of Darius' office it is already 12:00, surprisingly. I walk over to my mom and dad and talk to them for a while and also thank them for their gifts. Did I mention that a few minutes ago I saw Sadie and Kwest walk out of the janitor's closet together? Huh..I guess a hurricane brings everyone together. Sadie is now striaghtening her dress out and Kwest is smoothing his dress shirt down. Haha, how obvious can they be?
"Hey Sadie," I say, smirking and walking away from my parents, "Where have you been? You look flushed." I continue. She narrows her eyes and smiles at me.
"So you know?" Sadie asks, not really acting like she cares too much.
"Yep. I think it's cute. I like Kwest...he's like my brother. Be good." I say, giving her a look. She mocks hurt and starts laughing.
"I like Kwest too." She says. I nod and smile.
"So is it just me or did I see you walk out of the room a few minutes after Jason?" Sadie asks, raising an eyebrow at me. I smile down at the candle I'm holding.
"Oh so I saw right? Okay spill." She urges, sounding all giddy. Ugh..I hate when she's like this.
"Nothing. He made me mad so I told him we were going to write a song...and well..he wrote a song and proved me wrong..badly." I say, feeling slightly embarrassed.
"That's it? You were in a room alone with Tom's cute and as far as I know available brother and all you did was sit around and write songs?" She asked, disappointment dripping with each word. I shrug and nod.
"Jude...that's so like you." She says, shaking her head and walking off. So like me? What was I suppose to do? Jump his bones right then and there? Haha that's funny..Jump his bones. Eh..whatever. It was nice..being around someone who didn't like my music. Weird as that sounds..most everyone I know and I've been around likes my music or atleast acts like they like my music. He on the other hand tells me the truth. I like that.
Since it was getting late most of the adults fell asleep near the walls. Kat and Jamie had also crashed but Patsy and SME were still up. I hadn't seen Tommy, Barbie or Portia in a while..eh they probably fell asleep.
Since I figured there was nothing else to do and I really didn't feel like goofing around with Speid and the group at the minute, I walk over to studio C and grab my guitar and then go sit in the hallway where no one could see or hear me..so I thought. I set my candle down next to me and start singing.
"Hideaway...save me from the world
Come what may..I'll always be your girl..
Live this lie..I will not cry..
Oh, hideaway.."
I say, strumming lightly. Ugh..I can't figure out anything passed that. Why is my mind so blocked?
"Disguise my lies..I'll use my pain..
To hide my eyes, From what remains
For you I cry.."
No..I don't like that. It doesn't fit. Who said it has to fit? It's just a song, right? Not every song has to tell a story..not every song has to have a meaning.
"Jude?" A faint voice comes from the end of the hallway and I look up to see Tommy standing there.
"Hey..did I wake you?" I ask, feeling bad.
"No..I couldn't sleep. Destany is out though." He says, coming up and sitting next to me like he did earlier.
"What were you playing?" He asks, sitting his candle down. I shrug.
"Just trying to get some stuff out." I say. He nods.
"Can I hear?" He asks. Tommy wants to hear..oh man.
"It's not finished." I say. Now he's going to know somethings up..I used to always play my songs for him. What makes now any different? Oh I know! He left me for like a year..that does change things a little.
"Jude..come on." He says..almost pleading. Ugh..damn you Quincy.
"Alright..this is what I have so far." I say, without looking at him. I felt his eyes burning me. I hate it when he does this..well..No, I actually love it. I think..God. I don't even know what I feel anymore. Do I feel?
"Hideaway.." My voice cracks. Is it nerves? Maybe..or maybe it's the fact that I don't hate Tommy and the fact that he's sitting this close to me and the fact that I'm trying my hardest to focus on the fact that he is getting married. He is taken now. There is no longer a Tommy and Jude. There is no longer us.
"Sorry." I say, clearing my throat. He smiles at me and I look back down at my hands which are now slightly shaking. I start strumming again and try to sing.
"Hideaway..save me from the world." I manage to get out. I feel his hand on my knee. When did it get there?
"Come what may..I'll always be your gi-" I stop and close my eyes. His touch is just too much. He is now rubbing my knee. What is he doing? He is getting married. I mean..Is he trying to comfort me or..
"What is it?" He cooes. God his voice is so soft and gentle. So is his touch. I can't do this. Doesn't he know what he's doing to me? He has to know how I feel. I mean come on each and every song he's heard so far from me since he's been back has basically explained to him how I feel about him. How much I lo-hate him. How much he screwed me up. How freakin crazy I've become.
"I can't..I'm sorry." I say, getting up and leaving the guitar in the hallway along with my candle.
"Jude!" I hear him calling me but I can't turn around. If I do I will make a huge mistake..and I don't want to make that mistake. Not this time.
After reaching my destination I curl up against the wall and allow myself to drift into an unsweet slumber.
Tommy's Pov -
"Jude!" I cried out, trying to reach her. She didn't turn around, only kept walking. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm getting married. I love Destany. Why is it that I can't say that aloud? Actuallly, why is it I can't say it aloud without having an awful feeling come over me. Is it guilt? Probably. I am guilty. Guilty of holding on. Guilty of lying. And guilty of possessing these damn feelings for a girl I could never have and probably will never have. Probably? There's no doubt. I will never have her.
No one's Pov-
"I can't believe my eyes." Another voice came from the end of the hallway which caused Tommy to turn and look in it's direction. Tommy brought his hand to his forehead when he saw who it was.
"After all this time." The person continued.
"Please man, not now." Tommy groaned as the person came and sat next to him.
"Dude..you have feelings for Jude. There's no doubt about it. You can't do this to Destany."
"Don't you think I know that?..God, I was good. Everything was fine until I came back here." Tommy said, anger rising in his voice.
"Why did you come back?" The person asked. Tommy looked them in the eye for a few minutes before sighing.
"I had to tell her why I left." He said.
"Why didn't you write? You could have called."
Tommy shook his head.
"I needed to tell her face to face. Now she doesn't even want to know. And ever since I got back and saw her again.."
"I know." Kwest said. Tommy shook his head.
"What am I going to do?" Tommy asked,
"I don't know man..but you better make up your mind quick 'cause your brother is moving in on her." Kwest said, getting up and leaving Tommy to think.
"What am I going to do.." Tommy murmered, watching the flame dance until it finally went out.
--
Jude's Pov -
I wake up to the sound of Darius' cheerful voice. And yes, I said cheerful. Weird, huh?
"It's okay to drive home. Everyone drive safe." He says, well actually shouts. I wipe the sleep from my eyes and look around me. Most everyone was already up.
"Jude, we're leaving." My mom says as she and Sadie walk up to me. I pull myself up from the floor and yawn.
"Alright..I'll be home later." I say, hugging my mom.
"Okay..Don't make it too late. The storm my start back up." My mom warns and I nod.
"Bye Sadie." I say, watching the two walk out. Sadie waves and the door closes behind them.
"Pop star." I turn around to see Jason standing in front of me.
"Oh..hey." I say, smiling.
"You stickin' around?" He asks. Does he want me to stick around? Well regardless, I am.
"Yeah..I have recording and since I'm already here." I say, shrugging.
"Ah..and you are going to be recording in that?" He asks, pointing to my dress. I look down and notice I'm still in a dress. I completely forgot.
"Oh..well..hopefully, no." I laugh. He smirks.
"Hey!" Kat says, coming up to me and Jason. Great timing Kat..
"Hey." I say, smiling timidly.
"I'll see you around, Jude." Jason says before walking off. Darn you Kat..
"What's wrong with him?" Kat asks. I shrug.
"Not much of a talker?" I offer. She gives me a look.
"So then..if you guys weren't talking in Darius' office last night..what were you doing?" She asks, raising her eyebrows suggestively.
"Does everyone know we were in Darius' office last night?" I groan.
"Everyone except him." She shrugs.
"We were just talking." I say.
"Uh huh." She says, smiling.
"Kat..come on." I say.
"And here I thought someone was actually getting some action besides Kwest and Sadie around here." She says, sighing. We both start to laugh and then I see Tommy approaching me.
"Hey Jude..can we talk?" He asks. Ugh..not now Quincy.
"Um, I'll talk to you later." Kat says, hitting my shoulder reassuringly and then she starts to walk away. No! Kat..don't leave!
"Sure." I say and he nods and then looks down. I can tell he's struggling for words.
"Jude..about last night." He starts, not looking up.
"Tommy..It's fine okay? It never happened." I'm More so trying to convince myself than him. Now he looks up at me with horror written all over his face.
"I'm sorry." He murmers but I just wave off his apology.
"Tom?" A new voice entered our conversation. Another person who has bad timing.
"Are you ready?" Destany continues, throwing her arm around Tommy's waist and setting her head on his shoulder. I wince at the sight before me.
"Yeah, sorry, I was just telling him that I'd like it if he were my producer again. Sorry to keep you waiting." I say, smiling. Okay I know the chick definitely don't like me but come on..a girl's got to have a little fun, right?
Tommy smiled and stared down at the floor.
"Oh, really?" Destany asked, looking up at Tommy. Tommy nodded slowly.
"See you guys later." I say, still smiling and walking off.
"See you monday." I hear Tommy say before I walk into Darius' office to tell him the news.
A/N - So? What did you guys think? Hope you liked it..please keep reviewing? There is more drama to come, I promise:)