A/N - Once again..I know, I know..I'm terrible. Things are still crazy.. Last thursday was my birthday and alot of people were over this weekened, etc. Plus I still have homework. I truly am sorry you guys..and once again I have no idea when the next chapter will be out but I am trying. Last chapter was kind of boring, I agree..this one probably isn't the best, but I hope you like it? Thanks for the reviews you guys.

Disclaimer - I do not own Instant star

Chapter 23 - Never know what to say

Jude's Pov -

After he caught up with me we actually didn't talk all that much. I mean, we were too busy concentrating on what was around us. The dark, misty woods. But all good things must come to an end. And they do.

"So what's going on with you and Jason?" Tommy asks, not looking at me.

I turn to look at him and laugh slightly.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.
Tommy now turns his attention to me and looks at me like I'm stupid.

"Come on Jude, he wanted me to leave you alone with him." He suggestively says.

I raise my eyebrow.

"No kidding?" I ask. What? If he wants to treat me like a retard, then he's getting a retarded and half-assed answer.

His face hardens and his eyes darken.

"Jude, I don't want you to get mixed up with the wrong people.."

My god..can you say repetitive?

"Tommy we just went over this. I'm not a kid and I can handle it, god. When did this become about me and Jason anyway?" I ask, getting frustrated.

"He's my brother Jude. I know his tricks and I know his game. Hell, I created the game and I don't want that to happen to you." Tommy says.

"Quincy you are the most...frustrating..Ugh! what is it with you? you send so many different signals. One minute you're into me and the next..make up your damn mind because I'm not going to be here forever waiting, I have a life and it needs to move on!"

He's speechless. Was that what I was aiming for?..yes...no..I don't know..maybe?

"Jude..it's complicated."

"No Tommy. I'm tired of complicated. You have a fiance who looks like she just stepped out of a victoria's secret magazine, yet you continue to act like you're into me, and then you talk about the wedding..and then go back to me. I can't do this Tommy it's just too much." I say.

"Jude-"

"No. No 'Jude'. I don't want 'Jude', I want an answer...I want to know how you feel for real. Don't lie to me anymore just tell me Tommy. What do you want?"

"You're one to talk. When I came back you hated me, and don't get me wrong, It's completely understandable. So then we're okay and then you hate me again and it's like an endless cycle..the best part-You tell me I shouldn't have come back. Now tell me Jude, is that how you really feel or was that just a lie?"

He asks.

"Don't turn this on me Tommy. I'm not the one getting married!" I basically scream.

"I have to get married!" He screams. What the hell is that suppose to mean? I mean come on..who has to get married? For christ's sake he's a grown man who can make decisions on his own.

"Is someone holding you at gunpoint or something? Is there something I'm missing here because last time I checked you did whatever you wanted. When did this change?" I ask.

"When you came along." He says quietly.

"What?" I ask, taken aback.

"Jude..you're eighteen and perfect, girl." He says. God..who does this? who can go through a zillion emotions in the matter of a minute?

"Tommy.."

"No, you're eighteen and you have all the time in the world to find the right one for you. The one who makes you smile and will treat you like you deserve to be treated."

Where is he going with this?

"But Tommy-"

"I've been trying to explain this to you Jude..I can't be around you. It's too hard on me..I missed you so much when I was gone..and I know coming back was going to be a mistake but I had to make it. I had to see you." He continues.

"Why are you saying this?" I ask.

He stares at me for a few minutes and I can see the water forming along the rims of his eyes. Oh god.

"I'm getting married..because I love you." He says, voice quivering and eyes watering. Oh..my...god.

I just stand here. Staring.

"You.." I start.

Fantasizing.

"Since the first time I saw you." He says.

Hoping.

"But why-"

Believing.

"It scares the hell out of me." He says.

Crushing.

"Tommy.."

"You don't need this Jude. I'm no good for you..probably not for anyone..and that's why I never took the actual step. I want the best for you girl..even if that means I don't get to be with you." He says, still quivery.

"And I have no say in this whatsoever?" I ask, tears falling freely.

He shakes his head, smiling sadly.

I close my eyes and try to keep from sheding any more tears..yeah, that wasn't working well. I can't believe him. He told me he loves me. He can't be with me because he loves me. What kind of freakish logic is that? The man has issues.

"Jude please..try to understand." He pleads, coming closer to me. I feel his strong, warm hands take hold of my shoulders and then one make it's way to my cheek, wiping away the string of tears.

I shiver under his touch and totally lose control of everything. My body melts and my heart breaks into a million pieces and I, only I know they'll never be able to be put back together. Tom Quincy holds my heart in the palm of his hand. He is the only one who can make me hurt. He is the only one who can and will ever make me happy.

I open my eyes to see his gleaming in the moonlight. They're shimmering with unshed tears and we both know what's coming.

I feel myself being pulled closer..closer..so close that it's uncomfortable.
"I lo-" I start, but before I'm able to finish his soft lips capture mine and I'm dead all over again. I'm numb. I'm complete. I'm nothing. I'm broken.

He pulls away and rests his head on mine.

"Don't waste it on me, Jude." He says, out of breath.

"But-"

"Jude!" Tommy and I both turn around to see Jason and Mason standing in the yard. They're both giving us questioning looks.

I look at Tommy one last time before wiping my eyes and sniffing away the rest of my tears. Tommy places a comforting..yet not comforting arm around me and we walk up to the door silently. I might never know what to say again..

A/N - So? sorry again yall..please review:)