It took everything Sly had, not to burst into hysterics right there on the spot. The larger of the twins frowned and looked to his brother, who shrugged and motioned him on.

"Didn't you hear me?" he snapped. "I said that you are under arrest. Now put your hands in the air!"

"Should I wave them like I just don't care too?" he asked, fighting back a chuckle. The Master thief took a step back and raised his hands in the air, nodding to his two friends to do the same.

"Sly this is serious," Bentley wailed, looking at his friend. "We're going to be wanted for kidnapping now." The turtle looked at the twin foxes, and yelped as the larger of the two squirted him with water.

"Relax Bentley," Sly said, his grin slowly starting to slip. He turned to the boys and nodded. "But he does have a good point; does your sister know where you two went?"

"You, you knew that we were Carmelita's brothers?" the shorter of the two squealed.

"Well, yes," Sly said, inching closer to them, granting them another of his famous Cooper grins. "You're brilliant detective work, your quick wits, and the famous Fox banter," he began, scooting closer to them. "Carmelita's not married, and she doesn't have a relationship with anyone else, so that counts out you two being her sons. Your mother is young enough to have such smart boys, so that must mean to two of you are Detective Fox's brothers."

The two of them looked at each other and grinned from ear to ear at the compliments, before the larger of the two scowled and blasted Sly with a stream of ice cold water. "Well, we could have been her cousins you know," he snapped. "And that's close enough, Mr. Ringtail, I've been watching you try to get close to use to disarm me for the last couple minutes."

Sly chuckled again, and looked around the hideout. Maps littered the wall, documents on vicious criminals were scattered all over the desks, well, the ones not covered with Murray's burgers wrappers and what not. Sly keep his arms up and began to think. These two weren't much of a threat, but he didn't want to overdo anything and hurt them. "You are Carmelita's brothers, very good detective." He backed up and nodded to them. "So, who may I ask has the privilege of taking in the 'notorious' Cooper gang?"

The twin holding the toy gun and cuffs smirked right back. "I'm Gabriel Andrew Fox," he nodded to the smaller of the boys, "and he's my brother, Christian Alfonso Fox. And like we said before, you are under arrest."

Sly nodded and looked to his team, giving them a wink. "Well then Detectives Gabriel, Christian, it is a pleasure. Not many officers would be capable of following us here, let alone getting in, but," Sly shrugged, throwing the two of them off guard. It was just the distraction he and his friends needed. With lightning quick reflexes Sly bounded toward Gabriel, and gently tripped him with his cane, catching the boy by the back of his shirt. Murray and Bentley had little trouble catching Christian.

"Let us go, Ringtail," Gabriel roared, screaming with rage as Sly took the gun and cuffs from the boy. "You can't treat us like this, you, you're a criminal."

"No I'm a thief," Sly said, his tone turning serious, as he and his friends tied the two boys onto nearby chairs. "And you two are just kids, you're lucky it was our hideout you managed to get into, and not someone else's."

Bentley began to pace back and forth looking at them, his fingers twitching the whole time. "Sly what are we going to do now?" he whined in his nasally voice. "I mean this was supposed to be a simple job, get Carmelita's computer, get the info off of it, and that was it. Now what are we supposed to do with two children!"

"The same thing we're going to do with the computer, once we're done with it," Sly said, struggling as he lifted the machine off the ground. Damn I never knew computers could get this heavy! Murray rushed to his side, and helped his friend put the machine on the table. "Return them to Carmelita."

"You can't do that!" Christian barked.

"Carmelita will be waiting for you, if you do," Gabriel agreed. "And besides, she might be pissed with us for coming after you."

"She wouldn't be a very good big sister if she wasn't," Sly said, his back to the boys, forcing himself not to smile. "Besides, I look forward to seeing her so soon."

"And the two of you shouldn't be using bad words," Bentley chided, "it's a bad habit to get into."

"Whatever you say, dad," Sly replied with a chuckle. He looked over at his friend, and sighed at his hurt expression.

"Well it is!" Bentley snapped back. Sly apologized, and the genius turtle let it go. He knew Sly was only ribbing him anyway.

Christian howled that it had been Gabriel who had used the bad word, and that he shouldn't have gotten snapped at, while Gabriel moaned that they didn't need to be nagged on proper behavior by people who were constantly breaking the law. Finally, to keep the peace, Sly had Murray set the boys in front of the television, and turned on Cartoon Network, a moment after which, with a curse word of his own, Sly leapt to switch to a different station, no realizing that Adult Swim was on.

Half an hour passed, and Bentley worked tirelessly at trying to find the proper code word. When he finally found it, it took him another fifteen minutes to find the proper file. With a self satisfied smirk, the techno turtle clicked print, and the pages began to roll out, one by one.

"I hafta pee," Christian groaned groggily from his chair.

"Can't you hold it?" Sly asked which got a shake of the head by the little fox. The raccoon sighed and ran his fingers through his short gray hair. "All right then." He untied the boy, and led him to the bathroom. "Don't take too long." Without thinking, Sly closed the door, and was rewarded with an ear piercing screech from the other side. It caused everyone to jump, and Murray to drop his cup of hot chocolate onto the floor. At least it would have landed on the floor, if it hadn't landed on Bentley's lap first, which caused him to let out a tsunami of curse words.

"What's the matter?" Sly asked, zipping the bathroom door open.

"Murray spill hot coco on my God damned lap!" Bentley roared.

"Not you, Einstein," Sly snapped. "And watch your language, there are children present." He turned to Christian, who looked up sheepishly at him.

"You closed the door," he wailed.

Sly sighed, rubbing his eyes. "So?"

"You didn't even turn on the light," he snapped, his lower lip quivering. Sly calmed down a little and groaned. He apologized, and fixed the problem, leaning against the wall while the little fox did his business.

"Hey, Ringtail," Gabriel snapped, his eye wider than saucers.

"What now?" Sly sighed, "Do you have to pee too?"

"No, but who is Prince Albert?"

Sly crinkled up his nose and thought? Prince Albert?

"This guy on the television show with the bison with really long tangley hair said he really loves showing off his Prince Albert to other people. It's kind of weird and all, he's not wearing any pants, and their blocking something out of sight."

Sly's frown grew wider. Prince Albert, bison with tangley hair, not wearing pants, and – HOLY SHIT! Sly's, Murray's, and Bentley's heads all snapped in the direction of the television set.

"Next I guess they're going to spank some woman because she gambled," he said, watching a commercial about a car.

Sly dashed over to the television and punched in the display button. To his worst fears, four devious words popped up on the screen. OOOOOOHHHHHHHH SHHHHHHHIIIITTTTTT!

"The Bison Masters Show, Sly?" Murray screeched.

"Oh yeah, get mad at me because I curse a little, but it's okay for you to turn Carmelita's little brothers into naughty late night television addicts!" Bentley snarled, while still managing to both blush and stammer.

"Hey I didn't know that creep was on this channel," Sly snapped, hitting the V-Chip button and blocking the station. "It was a documentary about CSI when I turned it on."

"So who is Prince Albert anyway?" the boy demanded, looking as sternly at them as Carmelita catching them in the act of thievery.

"The Prince of Sweden," Sly answered quickly, switching off television. "Anyway it's time for bed; you kids have had enough excitement for one night." He walked over to the bathroom door, and gently knocked on it.

"You okay in there?" slowly the door opened and a wide eyed. Christian looked up at the raccoon, and blinked.

"Fine," he said in a quivering tone.

"You pooped didn't you?" his brother snarled. The smaller boy sheepishly nodded his head and slinked over to his chair.

"What's wrong with that?" Sly asked, his eyebrows arching downward as he took a step into the bathroom. A second later Gabriel warned him about the consequences, but the master thief ignored the boy.

He walked in slowly, as if he were using his time freeze technique, and his eyes widened with absolute horror. "What the fuck!"

Ziggy here: I don't normally like to interrupt my story half way through, but in this case I'll make an exception. Please insert horror theme music of your choice here, although I think that the theme from Psycho works the best.

There was poop alright. It was in the toilet – though Sly couldn't figure out why it wasn't flushed – and it was also on the floor, on the walls, behind the toilet, over on the bathroom sink, both near and in the shower, on the shower walls, and somehow it even managed to get onto the ceiling. It was as if the kid had walked in here, and then exploded in shit, only to rematerialize, and then explode in even larger doses of shit! As if someone had loaded their shotgun with crap, and fired it blindly around the bathroom, or used a shit sub machine gun and went to town painting the bathroom gooey doses of all shades of brown, yellow, red, and some green.

Green shit! What does Carmelita and her family feed this kid! The stench was unbelievable; Sly could smell corn, radish, brown rice, mushrooms, undigested apples, which made it really chunky, and other unmentionable things. He never did drugs, but the brown and yellow haze swirling around the room had to be almost exactly the same as if one had smoked any illegal substance.

Eventually he managed to sneak out of the room, his fur darker than Bentley's skin. He turned and faced his two best friends, both of them could smell the stench, but neither seemed to realize how bad it really was. Against his protests, both entered, and exited just as fast. Murray could hardly keep from a combination of gagging and laughter, while Bentley was now whiter than a sheet, at the moment Sly looked more like his friend than he did himself.

"It's not scientifically possible," the turtle managed to squeak, looking over at a very embarrassed and very bitter young fox. "That much toxic waste couldn't possibly come from a body so small."

"Bentley," Sly chided. "Keep your voice down."

"But Sly, there was more waste in the bathroom than there was in Mz. Ruby's lair!" the turtle protested.

"Still it can't be his fault, and I'm sure it's embarrassing him a great deal," Sly said, reprimanding the turtle. Bentley looked over at the poor fox cub and sighed.

"You're right Sly, I just wasn't expecting all of that in there." He sighed again and looked at his watch. "I'm kind of tired too. We should get the computer and the boys home before Detective Fox gets too angry with us."

"We're all tired, and I think the boys have had more than their share of excitement," Sly said. "We'll take them home in a couple of hours. Right now we just need some sleep." He turned to Murray and motioned for him to come over.

"Take the boys and set them in my bed, I'll sleep on the couch tonight."

"You sure, Sly?" When his friend nodded, the hippo saluted and turned on his heels. "Then the Murray is on the job!" Murray hurried over, untied the boys, and threw each one over a shoulder, scurrying into the raccoon's room.

"Relax Bentley," Sly chuckled, twirling his staff. "I know it's been hard, but I can't see how it could get any worse than this."

As soon as he had said those words, there was a knock at the door, and then a thump. Before Sly could make it to the window, an explosion knocked him back on his feet, and a dozen of Charlie's goons rushed into the hideout.

A crazy looking hyena wearing jet black bifocals, a blacker than night leather jacket, and Nazi looking goose stomping boots passed between the dingos and the tazmanian devil thugs who were wielding fierce looking rifles. Behind him crawled a scorpion with bright blue eyes, long shining winter gray blue hair, and in one of her hands, a nasty looking whip. Her eyes met with Sly's and she smiled.

"Zis is him, I take it, ya?" the hyena asked the scorpion, his accent a thick, Bavarian German.

"Yes," the scorpion replied her Japanese accent strong and determined. "Good morning, Cooper-san, I believe you know why we are here."

"Sly?" Bentley asked, looking at his best friend.

"Yeah Bentley?"

"I think it just got a lot worse."

Well two chapters down, let me know how you like it, if I get 5 reviews I'll try and get more chapters up as soon as I can.