Suzu: Weeee're baaaaaaaaaaaaack!
Jet: Whee.
Suzu: You sound excited.
Jet: (dazed) Am I?
Suzu: Don't wait any longer! Chapter 6 is here!
Ziggy: Well it took you long enough.
Suzu: Sorry, but school is over, and I'm FREE!
Jet: You've been out for weeks.
Suzu: Shhhhhh...
Jet: Just respond.
Suzu: Undoubtably! (Jumps to computer) Good reviews to me!
MoonBloodLunatic AKA Peaches–Oo I can't write yaoi. I can probably do the Kratos/Lloyd thing...I'm glad you like it, anyway!
MoonBloodLunatic–I feel loved!
Lil'Edthehacker40–Yay for water! Don't constipate, here's a new chapter.
SnowCrystal–(Evil laugh) Yeeeeeees.
Nameless–Nah, studying won't pressure their survival except maybe Lloyd's. Just wait to see what the evil thing is inside the closet...Muwhahahaah!
Darkangel–I know it's hylarious.
Luciado–YAY FOR BJ! My favorite song of his is Italian Restaurant. He's AWESOME!
Jet: You can too write yaoi.
Suzu: (Shudders) Don't get me started, shorty.
Jet: Why you-!
Suzu: Look flying pineapples!
Jet: ARGH! ...hey wait a minute-look lawyers!
Suzu: NOOOOOOO! (Dives under table)
Jet: (Cracks up)
Suzu: Stupid SOB.
Zelos: FICCY BEGIN NOW!
Suzu: Whoa whoa, wait, we still need the disclaimer.
Mr. DD: I'm high on MORphine!
Suzu: Erm...right...maybe someone else should do the disclaimer...
Mr DD: Nonsense! I'm perfectly not not alright! Hahah, double negative!
Suzu: Um...
Ian: I so have a copy right on that!
Mr DD: No ToS Suzu own Jet and! Er, ToS own Jet and Suzu no! Um, No Suzu and Jet Tos own?
Jet: Ugh, close enough.
Zelos: MAY THE FICCY BEGIN!
WARNING. There will be language and violence in this chapter just like every other chapter. Just thought you'd like to know. If you are prone to motion sickness or tight spaces, read at your own risk. We will not be held accountable. However, if you hate the Colette and Regal-bashing, you can totally blame it on us. We are good like that. Have a nice day.
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak...
The door is still opening. Kratos is glancing at his watch every five minutes, Yuan is scratching his head in annoyance, and Zelos is throwing a bottle to himself. Ferret Lloyd...uh, he's being a ferret?
Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak...creeeeeeeeeeak...creeeeak...creak...BOOM!
The four jumped as the door banged open. Inside was...was...WAS...
A teacher.
"What the crap?" Zelos said.
"It's a teacher," Kratos observed.
"He looks dead to me," Yuan said.
"Everyone looks dead to you," Zelly snapped back.
The teacher did looked brutally mauled and beaten. But he was breathing. So when your breathing you're usually alive.
"See? Told you he was alive."
Yuan glared at the chosen. "You never said that."
"I know!"
Silence.
"Just move before I fry you," The Renegade leader snarled, pushing Zelos aside and walking towards the teacher. "Hey, you alive? No? Good, we have meat tonight-"
"YUAN!" The other two boomed.
"What?" Yuan finally realized his comment. "Hey I didn't mean to say that! Suzu made me!"
Sure, right, blame it on me.
"Help...me..."
The four angels looked up at the teacher. He barely moved his lips, eyes barely opening. "Help..."
"Fine," Kratos said, though he didn't really feel like it. "Healing Stream!"
Magically the magic (A/N: ...) healed the teacher, along with everyone else for no apparent reason.
"I'M SAVED!" The teacher cheered and did a scary dance.
"Don't make me kill you again!" Yuan snarled, covering his eyes.
"Who are you?" Kratos asked.
"My name is...um...Tom," the teacher answered.
Kratos raised an eyebrow. "Why did you hesitate?"
"I, uh...I forgot my name for a second!"
Though it was REALLY OBVIOUS that Tom was lying, everyone believed him anyway.
Of course.
"Nice to meet you Tom! Now come meet our friends!" Zelos said, since normally Lloyd would say something like this...yet he's a ferret.
So the five walked out to see that Colette was done talking to Mithos, who was sleeping peacefully against the wall (A/N: Peacefully...yeah right). Colette was walking in a circle staring at the ceiling fan. Presea and Genis were snuggling (insert heart here!). Raine was busy memorizing the rules, and Regal was still taking his stupid walk. Sheena was now playing Solitaire by herself. I think that's everybody. Yeah.
"HEY!" Zelos yelled. "WE FOUND A NEW FRIEND!"
"Don't have to yell, Zelos," Raine said. "We're right here."
"Oh sorry, didn't see you."
"Hiya! My name is Tim."
Kratos blinked. "You said Tom."
"Right, Tom, what did I say?"
Kratos mumbled something, eyes flashing a look of "I don't believe you".
The whole group walked over, grinning a greeting. "Hi Tim/Tom!" They chorused.
"Hi! Now...Let's play a...game!"
"Game?" They chorused again, which was getting kinda scary...
"Yes!" Tom nodded. "Play the 'walk into the room by yourself with me in it' game!"
Genis frowned. "I never heard of that..."
"It'll be fun! C'mon!" He ran into the science room again. They heard the loud rumble of a chainsaw. Of course, they wouldn't know what it was.
"What was that?" Sheena asked.
"Nothing! Just come on!"
"Wait!" Kratos said. "Don't go. That sound is familiar..."
Suddenly Mithos woke up. "I know that sound! It's a chainsaw!"
"Chainsaw?" The group looked puzzled.
It's a dangerous weapon with a chain and blades that cuts off your head, mostly.
"When were you planning on telling us?" Yuan snarled.
Um...soon?
"Dammit! My secret is exposed!" 'Tom' ran out with the chainsaw in his hands.
Yuan scoffed. "Nice secret."
"Now I'll cut you all in two! BUWAHAHAH!"
"Ferret ferret!" (So you really aren't our friend, Tom, are you?)
The party all sighed. "No, Lloyd," Kratos said.
"Ferret! FERRET!" (You deceived us! DIE!) Lloyd hopped forward and began to maul Tom's face. Tom screamed like a little girl and ran around trying to pull him off. The rest just stood in silence watching for a bit.
"GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" Tom grabbed Lloyd and threw him at Zelos. The chosen didn't bother trying to catch him, so Lloyd collided with Zelos and plopped to the ground, twitching.
"That was mildly entertaining," Kratos said.
"That was cool!" Genis said. "Do it again!"
"Ughhh..." Tom groaned.
There was a silence.
"PLOT HOLE!" The party yelled.
Dammit.
"Well we could run," Raine suggested.
"Perfect idea!" Regal concurred.
"Yeah..." Yuan blinked. "Maybe like...now?"
The party bolted. Figures. They can save the world but can't beat one man. Oh, right, they don't have weapons or magic. Heh, forgot. (Scribbles reminder on her hand)
"Where did they go?" Tom asked. Moron. He walked in a circle for a while. "I can't find them!" He wailed.
"ACHOO!"
"Hello?"
"...shit."
Tom walked towards a closet and pulled it open to find...nothing. "Oh well, must be imagining things." As he slammed the door shut and walked away, we see in the darkness (aren't we amazing we can see in the dark!) Genis hanging behind a coat.
"Whew...that was close..."
As he got down the door slammed open again. "AH HAH!" Tom yelled, pointing at the half elf.
"...DAMN ME!"
Tom plucked the half elf up and under his arm. "I have a hostage! I have a hostage!" He chanted in song, a scary song that he just made up off the top of his head. It went like this: lalalalalala etc. I bet THAT helped, didn't it? I like helping people.
Over to Raine and Regal. To bad for Raine, she got stuck with Regal. Let's all point and laugh at her, HAHAH!
"Regal, listen up. If that chainsaw man comes and finds us, I'll use you as bait, okay?"
"...I don't think-"
"Of course your don't. Now say 'that's a good plan, Professor.'."
"That's a good plan Professor."
"Goooood puppy."
No it's not flirting. It's controlling. Welcome to humor, guys! X3
Over to Mithos and Colette. Don't know how THEY got together. Oh well. Fate works out I guess. Oh that's right, I put them together. Heheh...
"We are gonna die!" Mithos whispered. They were hiding under a desk. Nice hiding spot, he won't find you at all.
"Don't worry, Mithos I'll protect you!" Colette gave him her classic yet stupid little smile. It was like this. :D ...what a dutz.
"Thanks, Colette. You revised my planning of throwing you out if Tom comes in here."
"How nice of you, Mithos." :D
"...but I still hate you."
"That's okay, Mithos." :D (This annoying you yet? It is for me.)
Right then and there Tom walked in with Genis.
"Never mind," Mithos said, grabbing Colette by her shoulders and was about to push her out. However, though we all could SWORE he looked right at the two angels, he turned around and walked out. Mithos blinked and pushed her anyway so she fell right on her face.
"They got Genis!" :D
"Uh, Colette you can not be so happy about it..."
"Oh...they got Genis!" :O
"Uh, better..."
:D
Uh...over to our favorite four angels. Oh, shit, I forgot Presea. Well, to make things short, she is sitting in the closet directly next to where Genis was. Don't ask why there are two closets next to each other. This school is weird. That's why it was dubbed the "Weird School". Anyway...
"..Remind me again why we always follow each other."
Yuan shrugged. "Maybe we trust each other more than anyone else, Kratos."
"Flattered."
"I would like to know," Zelos said, squirming a little. "Why we picked the smallest closet in the damn school to hid three men and a ferret."
Yuan snarled. "It wouldn't be so uncomfortable if you stopped moving like that!"
"Well, I need to breath after a few minutes!"
"Stupid humans..."
It was true. These four found themselves the smallest janitor closet they could find. Not only that, but there were brooms and mops and buckets and other stuff that were in their way. Why they picked it is unknown. They just did. Tough.
"And Lloyd get out of my hair!" Zelos snarled, picking up the ferret and throwing him. Lloyd flew and landed...lip to lip with Kratos.
Everyone, right now, GROAN. EW.I'm gonna have nightmares for weeks.
Kratos damn near fainted. But he was brought back to life when the ferret began to change. Anndd...BAM! Lloyd was back.
"I'M BACK! AND I'M FULL!" Lloyd screamed at the top of his lungs.
"This is so not cool," Zelos muttered as now they were MORE squished.
"Lloyd!" Yuan muttered. "You're NOT supposed to come back yet!"
"...I'm not?"
"No! Oh well, eh Kratos? Uh...Kratos?"
Instead of just passing out, Kratos was instead having a mini heart attack.
"Oh...shhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttt," Yuan said.
"Oh, come on Dad, I wasn't THAT bad."
This sentence didn't really help the matter. It just made Kratos have seizures.
"I think he's dying," Zelos said. It was just a LITTLE obvious, but hey. You need obvious statements. For oblivious people. Heheh, obvious and oblivious. They almost look alike.
"I'm okay," Kratos said randomly, and was perfectly alright with his serious glare back. Quick recovery. For being kissed by Lloyd.
"Now you know how awful it is to be kissed by another guy," Zelos said bitterly.
Yuan blinked. "You were kissed by a guy before?"
"Uhhhhhh...DON'T JUDGE ME!"
"Is someone in there?" Came Tom's voice from the other side of the door.
"Uh...no?" Yuan called back.
"Fair enough." Tom walked away. "Wait a minute!" He opened the door. "HEY!"
"Meep," the four said in unison.
"Now I have FIVE captives! Arrrh!" Tom said, sounding like a pirate.
"Don't pass Go, don't collect 200 dollars!" Zelos said.
Tom blinked. "What?"
Being already confused, Zelos punched the chainsaw killer right in the chin. Tom tumbled backwards and let Genis go. Instantly the five bolted to find someplace else to hide. Stupid enough, they won't split up.
"I think we should split up-" Genis said before being cut off by Yuan.
"Shut up we know what we're doing."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. What could go wrong?"
At that moment they came to a dead end.
"Aw, snap."
"Good job Yuan," Kratos muttered.
"Shut up."
They turned to see Tom down the hall, revving up the chainsaw. "C'mere, bitches..." He said, being all Leatherface-like. Spooky. "It's elimination time!" (I do not own Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Nough said.)
"Now what," Zelos said.
"We get chopped into little pieces?" Kratos suggested.
"Noo!" Genis wailed, going into his crybaby state. "I don't WANNA become mincemeat!"
"Well, tough!" Yuan snarled. "We are all in the same position as you!"
Genis just hiccupped. Who can blame the little guy, I'd be scared too.
"I'm gonna kill you all," Tom said, coming forward.
"Oh yeah?" Zelos taunted. "Well, you try that! How bout if I throw a penny at you? How's that?"
The chosen threw a penny at Tom's head. It made a small dent...but that was it.
"Ow..." Tom groaned. "That hurt! You didn't have to do that!"
"Well...I kinda did...I mean you were about to kill us..."
"How could you!" Tom wailed and ran away crying. An odd and awkward silence followed as everyone just gapped. A dust ball of hay like is western movies or something flew by.
"That was weird," Yuan said.
"Now he'll defiantly want to kill us," Kratos pointed out.
"You just HAD to throw the penny at him, didn't you Zelos!" Lloyd snarled at the Chosen as if he did something wrong.
"Hey I just saved all your worthless lives!" Zelos snapped back. "You should be on your knees thanking me!"
Genis picked up the penny. "This little thing must hurt a lot. Look it even has little ridges. Damn, this is a nasty sucker."
Everyone looked at Genis oddly. The half elven boy blushed.
"EEEEEEEEKKKK!"
"That was Raine!" Genis said.
"Oh no! The professor!"
Genis blinked. "Lloyd? How did..." He noticed Kratos' face pale slightly. "Uh, never mind I don't want to know."
Lloyd grinned like a moron. "Me and Dad had to kiss!"
The mage covered his ears. "I said I didn't want to know!"
Kratos actually blushed and held his face, his hand covering his eye under his bangs (like in the Z skits). Hear that? He is actually blushing. BLUSHING. Kawaii!
"Aren't we forgetting something?" Yuan said suddenly, looking up from his video camera for black- ...memories.
"EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!" Raine's scream is heard again only louder.
"Oh yeah, Raine," Genis said, as if he forgot. Well, actually...he did.
"Oh no! The professor!" Lloyd repeated.
"I guess this means we have to save her," Kratos muttered.
The five went to find Professor Raine and save her from her whatever fate she is...suffering from. And surprisingly enough, you didn't really get to see any blood this chapter. NO BLOOD FOR YOU! MUWAHAHAH!
Suzu: Fin!
Jet: (reading a manga) Huh, is it over?
Suzu: It seems.
Jet: Good then. (Continues reading)
Suzu: Happy I updated? Good! Now next chapter we will kill Jet.
Jet: Yeah...wait what?
Suzu: X3 Heheheh.
Colette:D
Jet: I throughly hate you.
Colette: Hate is bad. :D
Jet: Okay, that's it. (Attacks Colette)
Colette:O
Suzu: -- Please review.