Colette: I'm BACK:D
Jet: Wait a minute, you aren't Suzu. What did you do with Suzu!
Colette: I'm Colette:D I have blonde hair.
Jet: ARGH! Suzu! Why did you leave me with her!
Ziggy: Suzu went on vacation.
Jet: Without ME? Where did she go?
Ziggy: Uh...she said something about a store and food.
Jet: You suck at taking messages.
Ziggy: Okay, okay, I wrote it down, it says she went to the Super Market.
Jet: Baka! That's not vacation, that's errands!
Ziggy: Uh...whatever.
Colette: I'm taking over Suzu-sama's job:D
Jet: I'd die before you become my sister!
Colette: Oh no! Don't die, Nii-sama:O
Jet: Okay.
Colette: Really:D
Jet: I'll just kill YOU INSTEAD!
(Review responses)
Luciado–He tried, but got stuck in his throat thus had to be surgically removed. Icky. Apparently it was too big for him to swallow. XD And no. Tom isn't sexy at all. He's like...um...Average Joe. Yeah. I can't think of any average Joes from anime...how pathetic...and I actually saw a commercial for Yogos the other day. I WAS wondering what they were...
Lallyzippo–Thankies!
(Fin)
Zelos: Wow, shrimp, I didn't think you had that much violence in ya.
Jet: I'd love to show you another demonstration, Chosen, for calling me small!
Zelos: Not my face! (Stabbified) Ugh...not my gut either...
Kratos: Without Suzu around, Jet's insensitivity is...uncontrollable.
Yuan: We could just beat him into submission.
Suzu: Osuwari!
Jet: (FWAM!)
Yuan: That works too.
Lloyd: Oh noes! Suzu lives!
Suzu: I've literally been here the whole time.
Lloyd: Where? We didn't see you.
Suzu: SOMEBODY locked me in the closet.
Ziggy: 9.9 (whistles)
Suzu: Miroku-sama, disclaimer please!
Miroku: X.X
Suzu: Oh...he's still unconscious from last chapter.
Sango: (lifts Hiraikotsu) I could hit him again...
Jet: That would kill him further, stupid!
Suzu: Well, Sango can just do it again. Please?
Sango: Mumble. Suzu and Jet do not own ToS or Inuyasha or anything not belonging to them that newly appears in this chapter or have appeared in earlier chapters. It's been thirteen times we've said this, so if it hasn't burned into your brain yet, you're gonna fail school pathetically.
Jet: Interesting fun fact...
Zelos: FICTON READY, STEADY, HOLD CHUR HORSES, GO! XD
"GAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
"Kyeheheheheheheheh!"
"Woof!"
And so the heros worthlessly wither and plead against the ugly sow's screeching voice. The party were all on their backs/stomachs, hands clamped over their ears, their brains about to explode! Whatever shall they do?! Oh NOES!
"I have an idea, guys!" Lloyd shouted proudly. "Earmuffs!"
Soon everyone had put on the magically appeared earmuffs, defending themselves against the mind-splitting witch's tone. Yuan pointed triumphantly at Ashura. "HAH! We beat you, we beat you, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!"
"Damn you little rats! But no matter. I can deal with you in OTHER horrific ways! Kyeh heh heh heh!"
The party all blankly watched as she began to power up some sort of bow in her hand. Frankly, it was taking a long ass time, so finally Kratos turned to look at everyone. "Say, what the hell are we standing around waiting for? Let's just blow her up as she is powering the weapon and get on with it."
They all agreed and proceeded to do so by blowing her up with the 'Sorcerer's ring on drugs'.
"AHHHHH OMG OMG OMG I'M ON FIRE I'M MELTING MEEEELLLTTTIIIINNNG!" Ashura paused. "Oh wait, that's just water. HAHAH!" She put out the flames by rolling around in the dirt and stood up with a wide grin on her ugly face. "FOOLS! I have smited your stupid plan!"
"Smited? What kind of word is that? Don't you mean 'smitten'?" Genis asked before being suddenly thrown into the lake that surrounded the walkway without even being touched. Even though he was on Lloyd's shoulder, the swordsman wasn't effected at all. Like he didn't even realize that his buddy was just blasted into oblivion but...he's oblivious. To the obvious. Heh, I found another word similar to oblivious and obvious! XD
"Don't contradict me!" Ashura snarled.
"Sounds like someone we know..." Kratos muttered, as everyone glanced at Raine. She obviously got extremely pissed.
"Don't compare me to that wench!"
"Ohh! Ohh! I know! It's Professor Raine! She sounds like Professor Raine!" :D
Colette was then slapped. Okay, Colette was just brutally stabbed and mauled. Happy?
"Ouchies. My cheeky hurts." :(
"Kyeh kyeh kyeh kyeh!" Ashura finished the bow, and strung a twisted looking blue arrow. She pulled it back. "Now if you can't get close enough to defeat me, you're finished!"
"Wait a minute, how can we still hear her with the earmuffs on?" Zelos pondered. Kratos was overly annoyed that he was forced to wear fluffy pink ones. I seriously think he was tempted to slaughter everyone on sight in a total rampage of death and destruction.
"Special earmuffs," Presea said. She was still totally blank. "Allow us to hear everything around us, yet nullifies screeching loud mouthed brain splitting noises."
Yuan was shocked. "Good Goddess! We could make a fortune from these! And they have Ebay in this world!"
An arrow suddenly impaled Yuan in the chest.
"OMG! I've just been shot!" The half elf was extremely peeved about this. He tore out the arrow and flung it back at Ashura, badly aimed it shot into her right arm.
"NOOOOOOOOO!" She stumbled backwards and tripped into the water, and this time actually began to melt! "HELP! I'M MELTING! MEEEELLLTTTING!"
"Well, that was easy. It took a whole two pages," Kratos muttered. Lloyd looked pissed for some reason.
"Damn! I wanted a try!"
"Okay okay, fine. You get the next one."
"Next one? How do you know there's a next one?" Zelos asked, wondering if Kratos was an all knowing saint or something. He WAS a 4000 year old angel, so that works.
"Because Tom TOLD US."
"...Oh."
And that was the end of that conversation. They continued on their journey through the secret passage as the path widened into a full empty white room except for a big green door on the opposite side of the room. Beings there was no where else to go, the party's slim common sense was enough to lead them to the only exit.
"Not so fast, vermin!"
"Magnius?" Lloyd called in shock. Instantly everyone whom had previously known Magnius before he was horribly slaughtered shivered in disgust. But I'm not that cruel. It wasn't Magnius. It was a huge at least 7 feet tall bald dude with a huge curved whitish sword that was around 5 feet long, maybe a bit more, looking as if it were made of bones.
"Bone sword!" :D Colette was happy for some reason. She doesn't NEED a reason. Everyone ignored her anyway, so it wasn't that big of a deal.
"I am Hirai," the large man snarled in a deep voice that had cocky little showoff written all over it. Everyone just stared, taking the man Hirai back a little bit. "What are you staring at, vermin?"
"I get it!" Zelos exclaimed excitedly. "Your name is Hirai, and your weapon is made of kotsu, so it's a rip off of 'Hiraikotsu'! Hah! I've got you all figured out."
"Sh-shut up!" He defended. "That's just how it worked out! I wasn't carrying around a bone weapon when I was just born, now was I?"
"Colette was holding her Cruxis Crystal when SHE was born," Lloyd countered. Colette perked up with her classic never changing smile.
"I heard my name in the conversation!" :D
"Only talk when spoken to!" Raine scolded as she slapped her across the head. It wasn't a hard slap, but Colette instantly slammed face first into the ground and rendered unconscious.
"Whatever!" Hirai snarled in a Bankotsu surfer dude accent as he raised the huge sword into the air. "I'll gonna smash your heads all open!"
Kratos was seriously annoyed. He picked up Genis, wound up, and flung the teeny Shippo sized boy directly at Hirai, whom began to scream and such identically to that of Tom when he was mauled by Ferret Lloyd a few chapters back.
"ARRRGH IT'S EATING ME GERROFF OR PERISH VERMIN!"
"I'M NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING!"
Yuan then stuck out his foot and tripped Hirai, slamming him flat on his face. Genis jumped and landed on the ground before kicking Kratos's shin. The auburn haired man completely ignored the shin kicks.
"Waaaah..." Hirai sniffed as he lifted his bruised head off the ground. "You tripped me."
"Stole your sword!" Lloyd snatched the bone weapon and swung it around happily before the weight of it made him tumble backwards. "Whoa!"
"Fools! I shall never die...as long as my atoms are all in place!" Hirai snarled as he rose and about to...do some kind of powerful attack.
"BAKURYUUHAA!" Lloyd shouted as a huge tornado filled with yellow lights ripped Hirai apart to be never seen from again. Lloyd stood with a smug grin on his face as everyone else started with a "WTF!" expression.
"Did you just do the Backlash Wave?" Sheena asked slowly. Lloyd nodded like, fifteen times.
"Uhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuhuhhuh-"
"Okay, shut up."
"Well thanks to Lloyd...godmodding...we can proceed now." Mithos was thrilled that Lloyd never had that attack when they fought him. He wasn't sure where he learned such an attack but decided he shouldn't worry...plot holes couldn't be explained.
So they proceeded. Yayness.
"Uuuuh, do you get this feeling like we're being watched?" Genis whispered into Zelos's ear.
"No. WHY are you riding on my shoulder again?"
"Cause he loves you, why else?"
Zelos threw a random fork at Mithos, even though it was Yuan's comment. Mithos screamed, running around as blood sprayed from his head.
Raine looked stunned. "Wow. I never thought a fork would cause that much damage. Nevertheless, to the FINAL BOSS."
Reminding to you all that even though Mithos was not the hardest boss, he was still a pain in the ass, especially on Mania Mode. Damn continuous judgements of doomage.
Anyway, back to Mithos running around with his head bleeding. Five minutes had past, and the party all continued to stare at him until he finally passed out from blood loss. Crap, that was quick. Lloyd poked Mithos's body with the huge sword he had previously received from the last battle as the party all looked troubled on what to do with his body.
"Let's burn him!" Yuan seemed overly cheerful of the thought.
"Isn't he, like, your good friend?" Asked Sheena, perplexed.
"No."
"Not even a hesitation..."
"All idiots, shut up now!" Raine ordered sharply as they did just that. "Hey, Zelos, carry him for us." At the comment that Raine stole from Sheena in the video game, Zelos went into his complaint mode.
"Me? You want me to car-" Zelos lifted Mithos up and blinked. "Oh, never mind. He's like, 56 pounds."
"..."
"Did you guys hear something!" Lloyd yelled, startled as he spun around in a battle mode type...way. Everyone else plainly stared at him.
"...no," was his father's blunt answer.
"Oh." Lloyd lowered the sword, disappointed. "Phooey."
"..."
"Okay! I totally hear something!"
"I didn't hear anything," Zelos said, starting to worry about the teen's sanity.
"Dammit! This is confusing!"
"..."
"GRAAAGH! DEATH AND CHAOS!" Lloyd suddenly swiped the sword in a random direction. Being totally lucky, courtesy of all those special garbs I stuck on him to boost his luck (why does everyone in my party have NEGATIVE luck?), he apparently hit something as it went flying across the room. Someone, or something, appeared, revealing a lizard looking man. He...it...flickered its tongue though didn't make any noise.
"OMAGAD! LIZARD ATTACK!" XD Colette did a funky jig like some sort of sacrifice dance for the lizard creature. However, it spit some acid at her, causing her skin to melt.
"Lizard-sama didn't like my dance," :(
Everyone stared as the acid ate away at her very existence. They paused to see if they should care, but decided otherwise, turning back to the lizard.
"You damn reptile! You'll pay for injuring our friend!" Lloyd snarled heroically, lifting the huge bone sword.
"Lloyd..." Kratos clapped his hand on Lloyd's shoulder and whispered. "We decided not to care, remember?"
"...oh, right. Never mind then, but you will still pay for...looking funny!"
"Lloyd..." Yuan repeated what Kratos did only on the other shoulder, whispering in his ear. "Seven days..."
"EEEEEEK!" Lloyd screamed like a little girl and fainted. Kratos glared at Yuan.
"Good job, idiot, you just made our god fighter faint."
"Well, snapper crackers, I didn't think he'd be THAT weak!" Yuan snarled back.
"Shut up, guys! Don't you remember about Lizard butt coming to eat us!" Sheena pointed to the lizard being, whom was indeed eating Colette. Miraculously, everyone remembered. I spelled miraculously on my first try! O.o
"I shall be victorious, as I am the great Zelos, and my day of greatness has arrived like beautiful women at my doorstep!" The Chosen announced proudly as he stepped forward, stealing Lloyd's bone sword and lifted it dramatically into the sky. Er...to the ceiling. Whatever. As everyone else stared speechless at Zelos's announcement, he adapted into his funky jitterbug battle pose. "C'mon, gimme watcha got, who's your daddy, huh?"
The lizard spit a fireball at him. Zelos stood there blankly, even though he was on fire.
"Well, crap, I didn't think it could DO that..." He lowered the sword and shouted loudly again. "I revise my decision! You guys take it from here!" He ran away and hid behind the unconscious Lloyd, even though he didn't lift him from the ground for usage as a better shield. Course, this contact made Lloyd catch on fire too. Afraid of the sprinklers going off again, Yuan soaked the fire out with water magic.
Raine looked at the half elf oddly. "You can use magic other than electricity?"
"Of course I can! Electricity is just better for torture and interrogation."
Awkward silence followed this as everyone slowly edged away from Yuan.
"..." The lizard...said?
"We die? No, YOU DA MAN!" Regal exclaimed. Apparently he's found a dictionary and learned so new words...phrases...moving on! Everyone glared at Regal as he whimpered and hid in a corner somewhere.
"I guess it wants to fight!" Sheena said, getting into a fighting pose. Kratos stared at her with a 'no, really?' expression. You know these kinds of expressions that you stare in the mirror and try to actually perform? Those who raised their hands, we need lives.
The lizard growled loudly and jumped towards the staring Kratos, brandishing its wrist blades towards the mercenary's chest.
Sadly for you people, you get not only a crappy ending, but a CLIFFY! OH NOES!
Kratos: Course, I'm the one attacked.
Suzu: What can I say? You WERE staring at Sheena.
Jet: What were you staring at anyway?
Kratos: ...
Jet: (evil grin) Oh.
Kratos: Insolence! Such rumors shall not be tolerated!
Suzu: You sound official.
Kratos: I am official.
Miroku: I LIVE! (Pauses) Oh, but woe, I shall not live long, for the Kazaana that swirls in my ha-
All: NO ONE CARES.
Miroku: The un-love in this room is exigent.
Suzu: Big word, ten points!
Miroku: Hurra-(heavy points fall on his head) AH!
Suzu: ...Niisan...
Jet: Innocent! Innocence, I demand innocence for my actions!
Suzu: No.
Jet: Death shall rain upon you so I shall swear it be so!
Suzu: Stop talking like that.
Jet: Speak not to me! The fiery depths of my fury shalt see to your demise!
Suzu: Osuwa-
Jet: Gentle sister, I plead you not so!
Suzu: -ri.
Jet: (FWAM) DAMN YOU!
Suzu: Nice to have you back.
Inuyasha: HAH! Feel the pain!
Train: DOGGY!
Inuyasha: Wha?
Train: Meow!
Inuyasha: Woof!
Train: Meow!
Inuyasha: Woof!
Train: Meow!
Inuyasha: Woof!
Train: Meow!
Inuyasha: Woof!
Train: Meow!
Inuyasha: Woof!
Train: Meow!
Inuyasha: Woof!
Train: Meow!
Inuyasha: Woof!
Train: Meow!
Inuyasha: Woof!
Sven: SHUT UP!
Kagome: SIT BOY!
Inuyasha: (HEAD SMASH) Pain...
Train: ...:3 Meow.
Sven: NO DINNER!
Train: NOOOOooooOOoOOooOooooOOo!
Jet: INSANITY ENSUES!
Suzu: ...please review...