The school year was whizzing by. This year I had a lot less distraction, so I could really focus on my studies. I was doing surprisingly well. It had gotten colder, and it would soon be time for our Christmas break. A few girls were staying, and I found out in a call from my father that I would be one of them.
"I can't believe he's making me stay here on Christmas!" I yelled, storming in. Kat jumped up off her bed and came over to me.
"I'm sorry, Mouse." she cooed softly.
I was standing at the sink, glaring at the mirror. Her strong hands were clasped around my shoulders, which I was very aware of as I tried to keep my tears inside.
"Hey, I was gonna take you tomorrow…but it's not that late. You feel like going on a walk?"
"A walk? To where?"
She grinned, I couldn't tell if it was hopeful or malicious. "You'll see."
I was nervous, but excited at the same time. I put on the leather coat I'd been given for my birthday and my blue fuzzy mittens. Looking down at them, I suddenly felt embarrassed and stuffed them into my jacket pocket.
Kat led me down the familiar paths that Tori, Paulie, and I used to go running on. The moon was a sliver in the sky and I could barely make out Kat's bright red blazer.
"Kat…Kat, I can't see."
"I'll help you." I felt her warm fingers against my coat and found her right hand with my left one. Our strides slowed to mirror each other's, and I entwined my hand with hers. A smile flushed over my face.
"Here we are." She let go of my hand and spread her arms. We were at the edge of a small clearing by a slight drop-off. The drop-off revealed rolling hills, and the flickering light of a nearby town. In the middle was a fire pit with a few logs around it.
"What do you think?"
"It's pretty." I replied, then watched the smoke of my breath disappear into the air.
"Just wait till I get the fire started!" She shot off into the woods, leaving me alone in the middle of the clearing. I looked out over the drop-off and watched the flickering of the town, like a bunch of little fireflies in the distance. Sometimes when I was at school, it seemed like there was no other world beyond ours. Everything seems so significant and magnified. But then I looked down there, and remembered that there was another whole world of people out there. I honestly didn't know if that was comforting or depressing.
"God, is there any forest left?" I asked when Kat came back with a huge armful of logs.
"Oh, hush." She dumped them into the fire pit and pulled some paper out of her pocket. The way she set up the fire was…masterful. It was as if she understood where every stick was supposed to go, exactly how to stack the logs. When she was done she pulled some paper from her pocket, rolled it up, lit one end and shoved it into the base of the pile. Slowly, the small sticks began to catch flame.
"C'mon, sit down." She wrapped an arm around me and pulled me down onto one of the logs. We just sat there for a moment, watching the fire catch. She retracted from me suddenly and slipped off her coat, revealing a t-shirt with a thermal shirt underneath.
"How are you not freezing?" I exclaimed, looking at her slender body.
"I was running around in the woods for like half an hour, got my body temperature up. I could strip down more and still be fine!"
"Yeah right." I laughed.
"You want me to prove it." She stood and flung off her t-shirt, then the thick thermal shirt underneath. There she was in nothing but a black bra, half her body illuminated by firelight. My eyes were wide, and I felt my pulse pound. I was so hyper-aware of everything. The heat emanating from the fire, my frail cold body, the way her eyes were gazing at me predatorily.
Feeling braver than I had in some time, I took off my jacket and threw it near her pile of clothes. Getting up, I stripped off my tee and undershirt. After my small burst of bravery, I withered again, and wrapped my arms around my waist, looking away towards the fire.
"You shouldn't have done that."
"Why?" I moved my arms defiantly.
"Because now you're even more freezing than before." She laughed and walked to me. We were centimeters apart and her eyes were burning into me. Raising her hands, she slipped them around me to spread across my back. Nervous, mine stayed crossed at my chest. Then, slowly, I moved them to wrap around her. She relaxed into me and me into her, my head burying into the crook of her neck. Her skin was so soft and warm, her scent was comforting and sweet, everything about her melted me. This… holding her, having her arms around me, our bare skin touching everywhere, it felt right. Images flushed into my brain.
Darkness in the room, but I can see their naked bodies, glowing pale. Touching everywhere. Moans erupt. Their skin is melding together, they brush and bump against each other.
That memory was almost a good thing. Until everything else came into my brain. The broken Tori, the dead Paulie. The fact that they would never touch again…
This couldn't be right. I pulled away from Kat and she smiled at me, her head leaning in towards me. She wanted to kiss me!
Terrified, I swooped down and grabbed my coat, then rushed into the woods like a frightened animal that had just stared down the barrel of a hunter's gun.