Christmas Day was just about the best day of my life. After gift exchange and that amazing kiss, we got some breakfast with the other girls and checked our mailboxes for gifts from our parents. I got a few sweaters, a cheap bracelet, and a clock radio. Kat got three new Playstation games and a suede coat from Italy.
For most of the day we played like little kids. We ran outside in the snow, making forts and snow angels and having snowball fights. I was so winded and cold, but so unbelievably happy. Kat decided we should go out and have a fire, so we started walking through the woods, arms tightly wound around each other. Suddenly a shadow passed over the path and a call sounded out.
"What the-" Kat yelled when the hawk set down in front of us. "Mouse get back!"
"No, its ok. It won't hurt us."
"Mouse it's a wild raptor!"
"It's Paulie!" As soon as the words escaped me, I clapped my hand up to cover my mouth.
"What?"
"It was Paulie's. She taught it to fly, to come to her call."
"You said it was Paulie." Her eyes were stern.
"That's not what I meant."
The raptor cried out, then leaped into the sky again. Kat and I walked forward in an awkward silence. When we got to our spot, she got the fire started and sat down beside me.
"Mouse… what was going on back there? You called that raptor Paulie."
"I know." I took a deep breath. "Kat…Paulie took care of that raptor, and when she died it flew off into the sky, like it was her soul."
She smiled. "That's beautiful. But I have to ask…"
"Yes?"
"Mouse, were you in love with her?"
The question knocked me to my feet. In love with Paulie? Could that be possible? I was so naïve, I could have loved her and not known. But no… this, with Kat, this was the start of love. Paulie, it was all about fear and wonder.
"No. I wasn't. I know I wasn't."
"I can tell you think about her, though,"
I tilted my head. "How?"
"You stare at her bed."
I'd never noticed that.
"I miss her." I sighed.
"Why?"
"She…" I sighed again. Her arm wound tight around me. "I wasn't much before I was with her. She showed me love…crazy, psychotic, uncontrollable love. She showed me bravery, heartbreak."
"I understand." she smiled and kissed me. "Sorry, I guess…I had a twinge of jealousy."
"For a dead girl?" I couldn't believe the words had come from my mouth.
"For the girl who got to show you the world. I want to do that."
"Go ahead."
She kissed me again and lingered. I felt warmth pulsing with my blood, and it wasn't from the nearby fire.