LUCIDPAINT- lol! This took forever. And the funny thing is, the only reason I had time to do this is because yesterday I got in an accident, went to the emergency room from an amblulance from the school and am now out of commission for the while. In a nut-shell, I hit my head in P.E and went into shock, then blacked out. Don't worry, I'm okay! Lol, otherwise, would I be here? Pffft. Anyways, I'm really mad cause….I had work today….and I work at a kennel and they really needed help…-sighs-….and this has nothing to do with the story! lol! please read it and review
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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Digimon.
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WARNING- boy on boy luv, read or leave.
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Taichi woke up to a pounding headache and a nose full of fur as Princess rubbed her face affectionately against his, in her usual morning wake-up call.
He groaned, mumbling something rather impolite and gently pushing her away, starting to sit up but then falling back to the bed in the sudden pain of realization.
Everything from last night suddenly hit him like a bat in the face.
Pain seemed to replace the blood in his veins and brought the heaviness of depression to sink his heart down to his stomach.
Why….what had he done? Had he said something?
He shook his head slowly, staring up at the ceiling with liquid filled shining eyes.
"Yama…" He whispered softly, clenching the rumpled sheets around him tightly.
Damnet!
A clenched fist slammed into the mattress.
Sitting up in a rush, and regretting it as the headache screamed back in protest, he stood up with a hiss and stiffly stalked over to his wardrobe.
Last night he had barely kept from breaking down in the car, and he had been so tiered and distraught when he had finally reached his apartment he had only had time to fall on his bed and cry himself to sleep.
A.k.a. , why he was a mess and still wearing the clothes he had worn yesterday. Which now felt itchy and uncomfortable and ready for the wash.
Ripping them off without any discord, he didn't even bother choosing his outfit and just grabbed the closest pair of pants and shirt. Which turned out to be that same button-up shirt he had worn for his first dancing lesson, and a pair of comfortable old jeans.
Princess sat regally on his abandoned pillow; tail swishing silkily back and forth, eyes wide with intense curiosity.
Taichi glanced at her briefly, sighing and wiping away some more tears before moving to gently scoop her up into his arms and walk out his bedroom door.
"Come on Princess, lets get you some breakfast."
She seemed to sense his distress, and snuggled down quietly into his arms, for once not acting like a snob and purring contently.
His smile wobbled on his face and almost fell off as he entered the kitchen, trying hard not to break down once again and methodically going through the motions of opening a can of wet food for Princess's lunch, heating it up and then pouring it into her fish shaped bowl.
Setting her down on the counter, something his mother would faint at the sight of, he gave her a stroke as she delicately nosed her face into the warm mash, lifting her head every once and awhile and licking her whiskers.
Usually watching her eat would bring a smile to his face, but right now he could not seem to pull himself from the cold feelings of depression.
Why had Yamato pulled away?
Right when they had seemed closer then ever, it was as if something had spooked the blond.
Had he suddenly realized that Taichi had more than platonic feeling towards him?
The blood drained from his face and he suddenly had to sit down.
Moving over to the couch, he sank down with a moan and buried his face into his hands.
Oh man….what had he gotten himself into…
He was getting married! The wedding was getting closer and closer, and all he could think about was his twinkling eyed dance instructor.
If his parents knew…if Sora knew! He would be ruined. Socially, financially, emotionally…everything…. and what was more scary…. even knowing all of this…. he still wanted more than anything to just be able to be near the blond.
To hear his laughter, to smell his unique scent of peaches and cream, caress his rose petal soft skin…
Damn!
He banged his head against the back of the couch.
He couldn't be doing this.
And yet…
How could he not?
It would be like trying to stop a train with your bare hands. A train that maybe…perhaps was truly meant to be going where it was going. Even if it cut a path of rubble through the ways and wishes of everyone around you.
It really didn't matter right now though.
What mattered was Yamato, and why he had suddenly seemed so sad and distant last night.
Even hurt, almost.
It must have been his own fault, something he had done.
He was the one responsible.
Brown eyes darkened and he glared at the ceiling resiliently.
Then that was that.
He needed to talk to Yamato, apologize if necessary. Even if it be for harboring these feelings.
But he couldn't leave things as they were now.
A strength suddenly seemed to flood through his being, bringing a purpose to his step and a spark to his eyes as he stood up with one thought in mind and one only.
Things could not be left as they were.
Hiding such strong feelings was tearing him apart, his life apart.
Now it was seeping over to Yamato.
He wouldn't stand for that.
It was time he stopped hiding and found the truth in things.
Found out for himself how he wanted to live his life.
Did he really, 'love' Yamato? And if so could he really go through with this marriage? Would he even have the strength to stand up to his family and every one he knew, to be with someone else? A man.
And more importantly…could there be the slightest chance that Yamato had feelings for him too?
With these thoughts heavy on his mind, he strode cross the room and grabbed his jacket where he had tossed it onto the counter.
Finding his keys in one of the pockets, he shrugged into it and opened the door, glancing behind him to see Princess sitting in front of her now empty bowl, wide slitted eyes gazing after him.
He smiled wryly.
"By Princes, Daddy's got some things he needs to get into perspective…finally."
With those parting words, and with one hand holding his keys , he slipped outside and shut & locked the door behind him.
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It did not take long to find his way back to where he had dropped Yamato off last night. The directions the blond had given him were branded on his mind, and the streets he took to get there were really pretty close to where he himself lived.
Stepping out of the car, he stared up at the three stories, butter-yellow housing area with a slight feeling of weakness starting to creep up his spine.
Shaking his head, he quickly shoved all apprehension away and shut and locked the door, stepping up the pathway with brisk, sure steps and then pausing at the front step as it slowly dawned on him the certain problem of…how the hell was he going to get inside?
Yamato was not going to let him in. He was sure of it. Last night he looked like he couldn't stand even looking at him.
And he didn't know anybody else who lived here…
Just after he was about to try breaking into one of the windows, lady luck seemed to suddenly take a fancy to him in the form of a hunched back old man carrying a bag of groceries that was a little too heavy for him, obviously.
Taichi watched him struggle up the path and then almost fall and break his neck at the step, if it weren't for his quick assistance.
"Oh, Thank you so much young man, I thought I'd lost it there for a moment." The little man said in a weak, crackly voice, looking up to peer at Taichi with watery blue eyes as the Brunette gave him a steadying hand.
"Hmmmm." He rumbled raspily. "I don't think I've ever seen you before."
Taichi gave a strained smiled, scratching the back of his head nervously.
"Actually, I don't really live here…. I'm visiting a friend." There, that sounded plausible. And pretty much true.
The older man seemed to lean closer and stare at him even more intensely with those cloudy old eyes as he asked suspiciously. "Oh, Who?"
Taichi struggled not to let his panic surface and gave an easy shrug.
"Ishida Yamato, do you know him?"
The old man leaned back on his heals and grinned an almost toothless smile.
"Why, I do actually. A very nice man, he takes care of my dear cat Baby when I'm away. Say, since you're a friend of Mr. Ishida, you must have his politeness. Would you be so kind as to help me up to my apartment with this bag? "
Taichi could have sworn a miracle had just happened before him and had been too quick for him to see it.
Help him inside?
Why of course!
"Certainly." He said with a charming smile, fairly bursting with relief and triumph.
Boy was he lucky.
Or maybe fate had a crush on him.
The man gave a grunt in satisfaction and bent down to pick up the bag and give it to Taichi.
"No, let me." Reaching down he nimbly tossed it up and into his arms, then turned and bowed with flourish for his customer to proceed.
The older man grunted.
"Humph, young people. "
With slow, creaking steps he sidled himself up the one step and fished around in his pocket for at least five minutes, all the while growling and muttering to himself that the key should be there.
Sure enough, after a timid suggestion from Taichi, it was found in the other pocket, and with a gruff cough the older man leaned forward, slid the key inside the lock, and with a magical turn unlocked the one wall barring Taichi from his goal.
Yamato.
"Well, come on then, we'll take the elevator. I live on the second floor."
Taichi followed at a sedate pace, glancing around at the warmly painted rosy pink room, newly polished clerical desk and homey feeling, lamp-lit lights.
The small elevator creaked and groaned before opening its wide stainless-steel mouth for them to enter, Taichi more than a little worried it wasn't going to hold their weight.
Still, it brought them up at a steady, if not shaky pace, and let them out alive on the second floor.
"Well, my room is just over here. Not three rooms from your friend Mr. Ishida's, actually."
The man shuffled a short way down to his door in the hall, which was pretty close to the elevator, and Taichi silently cheered behind him.
Yes!
Thank god for this little man!
Now he even knew which room it was.
Without that hint he might have had to go door to door, and some suspitious tenant might have called the landlord, and then who knows what would follow.
"Are you coming?" The old man turned and gazed at him with a sharp look, watery eyes blinking rapidly as if to bring him into better perspective.
"Ah, y-yes, right away."
Taichi fairly stumbled through the door into the room, taking in the cream-painted walls, lime green carpeting and old faded plaid couches in one swift moment.
"Just set it over there." He waved one knarled old hand towards the tiny kitchen squeezed into a corner of the living room; as he bent down to take off his scuffed brown loafers with grunts of pain.
Taichi did as told, then stood uncertainly next to the counter, unsure what was expected of him now.
In truth, he never had really done something like this before, something so…randomly nice.
His…no, Sora's friends and Sora herself would no doubt have scoffed and laughed.
"Well, what are you waiting for?"
Taichi jumped at the barked out words and turned to see the man holding a skinny, coal-black cat that looked older and frailer than a bird's bones.
"Weren't you going to visit your friend?"
"Oh…. yes, well, if you don't need anything else.." Taichi stuttered, starting towards the door.
"Humph, young people." The old man huffed, for what must have been the fifth time." Just because I'm old doesn't mean I'm incompetent."
"Oh no, I mean…that's not what I-"
"Go on then, off with ya'" The man cut off, turning away and stroking his cat with utter fondness.
Taichi stared at him with a strange look, then slowly walked out the still open door, but he only got a few feet towards his destination before he heard the scratchy yells of "Wait" and turned to see the old man hobbling towards him.
"Here." The old man grabbed his hand, and Taichi felt something dry and crinkly be shoved into his palm.
"Wouldn't want you to think I'm a stingy old man."
And with those gruff words, the little old man turned and walked back inside his home, slamming the door behind him.
Taichi looked down into his hand, and smoothed out the green essence that was a single, solitary, one-dollar bill.
With incredulous eyes he looked up at the door, then at the dollar bill, then at the door again.
A moment later a small crack of a smile crept across his face and he chuckled lightly, shaking his head, and sliding the money into his pocket with good humor.
"Thank you." And he meant it with all his heart.
Now, finally…
He turned and walked two doors down, and then stopped at the last, which had a welcoming mat shaped like a sleeping cat and a small sign hanging on it that said "Home sweet, home."
Taichi felt his fear coming back like a murder of crows, but tiredly pushed them aside and tried to gain back some control of himself.
This wasn't a…confession of his feelings.
This was to see Yamato, to know what he had done wrong.
And if it turned out that it WAS about what he himself felt then…
Then he would deal with it as it came.
But he couldn't lose Yamato.
These past months he had finally had a real, genuine friend who cared about him, not his looks or money.
He didn't think he could bear going back to his cold, unfaithful family & life.
Yamato had come more important to him in this short amount of time than…than anything.
Than everything.
Taichi thought over these realizations as he stared at the door before him silently.
It was time to stop hiding things, and to stop lying down and letting everyone walk over him.
This time, he had the reigns, and he wasn't letting go.
No matter how hard the blond tried to run.
He rang the doorbell.
It gave an angry buzz and then fell silent, short of breath.
It felt like too long for that door to open.
And then it did.
Both of them froze, and then the one who had answered the door and appeared in the brunette's dreams at night reacted.
"Taichi?" Yamato bit off the strangled whisper and turned away, covering his mouth with his hand, looking as if he had been struck.
"Yamato…?" Taichi asked uncertainly, voice hoarse.
Seeing Yamato so fragile, shaking as if he had seen a ghost, dressed childishly in loose gray-pants and a kiddy shirt for sleepwear…
It felt like his heart was being squeezed till the blood trickled between the cruel fingers.
"Yamato." Taichi repeated, this time gaining more strength in his composure and taking another step forward. "We need to talk."
Yamato glanced up at him from behind his hand, wide, soft-honey eyes swimming with tears.
Taichi felt the hand around his heart squeeze tighter.
What had brought Yamato to this state? Him? Was this his fault?
Last night he had seemed distant, almost…wounded…. but not…. not so terribly sad…. not crying.
At that moment he knew that he would give away everything he owned to clean the man before him of all traces of tears and pain.
Yamato seemed to be struggled to regain his composure, silken strands of woven gold floating around his face in an adorable mess as he slowly nodded his head.
"Come in." He whispered, in such a small voice Taichi barely heard him. The blond stepping back to allow room for him to enter and then shut the door carefully before turning around with a more calm expression.
The room was way smaller than Taichi's own apartment, but much more cozy and had a familiar warmth about it. The carpet was a soft, pastel green and the walls a simple bare white with no pictures hanging from their smooth expanse.
The furniture was well set as well.
Forest green, plush, cozy couch and chair seemed a perfect set, and the creamy white love seat set in front of the distressed white coffee table seemed to call from someone to snuggle down deep into its numerous pile of plump pillows.
"Please, have a seat." Yamato said, his voice for once not smooth and mellow, scratchy with unshed tears and swallowed pain.
Taichi took a seat on the couch, while Yamato took the chair, to his disappointment.
There was a moment of heavy silence, strained emotions and hesitation.
Yamato looked so vulnerable, his legs pressed tightly together, wringing his hands on his lap, eyes turned fearfully downward.
Taichi wanted to touch him so badly suddenly, to go over and pull him into his arms, breath in the peaches and cream scent of his skin…
He took a long, steadying breath, pushing all thoughts aside and trying to gain the courage he would need to finally get things in the open.
He couldn't live like this anymore, hiding his feelings, questioning his own decisions, wondering about every little thing.
He breathed in another shaky gulp of air, and clenched his fists, deciding to start slow, not bringing up the more…tender questions till later.
"Yamato…" He started slowly, the blond starting and glancing up at him quickly before looking away; biting those plump pink lips nervously in a way that made Taichi want to squirm in his seat.
No no no!
Now was not the time!
Mentally he shook himself and started over.
"Yamato…I…Last night…I know I sort of…dumped my life on you all of a sudden. And then dragged you into going nowhere in almost the middle of the night with me…I….are you mad at me?"
Taichi blurted out suddenly, face reddening slightly as Yamato's golden orbs locked with his, those deep amber pools filled with surprise.
"Mad at you? I…." The Blonde's voice was so soft, faraway, like a whisper in a dream. His eyes seemed to be almost distant as he answered in a strangely subdued way. "I'm not mad at you Taichi."
The suddenly dull, lifeless expression Yamato had made Taichi doubt his words.
"Then why…." Taichi started, then paused, looking over Yamato critically before saying slowly. "Why did you leave like you did last night?"
Yamato looked away once again at the question, a soft sigh settling on his lips.
"I'm sorry Taichi."
"W-what?" Taichi did a double take, stuttering in confusion.
"I can't be your dance teacher any longer."
Taichi felt like someone had just roughly and cruelly ripped his heart out and served it up on a plate to be eaten by the birds.
"What?" It came out a quiet and raspy whisper, the brunette struggling to keep down the emotions that threatened to sweep him away. "Why…"
"Why?" The blond repeated slowly, almost thoughtfully, and a little bitterly. "Because I can't anymore Taichi. I just can't."
"Can't what!" Taichi almost yelled, stressing the latter word with a feeling that was threatening to take over.
Panic, desperation, pain.
Yamato just stared at him coolly, all past emotions swept cleanly off his face to leave a beautiful, emotionless mask.
"You should go."
Taichi suddenly felt a burning anger at those softly spoken words.
"Stop being so damn calm about this!" He yelled, standing up in his anger.
The blonde stood too, a cross look starting to crack his calm facial expression.
"Stop being so selfish. Just leave, please." His tone held both a sharp and begging tone.
"No! Not until you tell me why." Taichi hissed out the last bit, angry that this had not turned out at all as he had expected, angry at these things that the blonde was saying, angry at the situation.
Angry at himself.
"Why?" Yamato repeated, exactly like he had down earlier although now his voice was voice filled with fresh pain and wound originated anger.
"I'll show you why."
And in one smooth, shockingly fast motion he was in Taichi's arms, pressed up against him, lips firmly and sweetly molded against his.
Taichi felt like everything had suddenly exploded in a storm of hot, burning emotion and pleasure. That one, simple touch of incredibly silky smooth lips on his own seemed to make up the entire world.
Everything else disappeared like ice in a raging fire.
The warm, soft, shapely body pressed up against him was a perfection he'd only ever had in his dreams.
And then it was gone, and everything was so wrong.
"That is why, Taichi Yagami!" Yamato spat, his breath ragged and face painted a lovely rosy pink. "Now get out!" and with one, forceful shove to the shocked frame of the brunette, Taichi felt himself falling backward.
A loud slam echoed in the hall as Taichi lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling with unseeing eyes.
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OWARI-------
LucidPaint: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Srry, felt like "whooing" umm…anyways….srry their hasn't been a lemon yet….which means yes, I have decided to do it. If I get frozen again, then….well, I'm done with fanfics! lol. It's too hard to start over. Besides that, thought their wasn'ta lemon, atleast their was a little taste of "something" in the end. …These things do drag on, I know "sighs". Thankyou for all the awesome reviews! Please, feel free to continue, lol .
REVIEW Replies--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(PS. I don't check for typos in review replies. It's practically a nightmare, but I just want to get the story up as fast as possible and I'm impatient so….srry! lol)
Kurotenshii- (awwww, thankyou! –glomps- I wuv you too! –snuggles and sighs- lol, thankx so much for reviewing! –squeals-)
Pyntee- ( hehehehe….-pulls at neck color- -cough-…. yes well….atleast its updated now,ne? lol! I'm hungry too, but I just ate icecream, so I'm good…..for a few more minutes thanxs so much for the review! –glomps-)
Tysonandkai- ( I KNOOOOW !AREEN"T THEEEYYY! –squeals along with- lol, seriously, it all started for me with these too….their special –cuddles- lol thanx for reviewing! I hope you likey)
Black Mirror- ( lol, yea….I mean, I guess I was trying to make it not so….soap-operaish…pffft, like theirs even a WAY to do that! Lol, still, I do drag on….-cuddles- thankyou for reviewing! Hehehe…I'm so slow)
Blackrosebunny451- (ohhh, I know! –crys- its sooo saaaad! I hope, anyways. I mean, not to be mean to Taichi but as a writer…ummm….I mean….no no, anyways, thankyou for reviewing! Lol –glomps- )
DarkMetalAngel of Destruction- ( I hope they will too, lol –winks- I luv the word yummy! I'm so happy you liked it!thankyou for reviewing! –hugs-)
Danya2- (awwww, really? Thankyyooouuu! –glomps- I shall continue!thanx so much for the review )
Alchemistflame- ( ohhh, thankyou! –is squished under glomp- lol! Oh oh oh, I like it! It sounds cooooool O.O oooohhhh. Like….firy….-smiles hugely- lol, anyways, I'm glad you like it! Thankyou lots for the update! You rock my world. –serious exppresion-)
Sovereign of Silence3- ( yes! I checked FIVE times instead of two times! Lol ! and still there were some! Pfft, I need a beta –rolls eyes- anyways,lol. Yeesss…sweet torture….muhuhahaha. ohhhh, I luv you too! And I realy hope you are right! I would cry if I got kicked off again, lol. Well….maybe not cry but…be so depressed I wouldn't write for awhile,lol! O man, thankyou so much for reviewing!-tackles-)
Moppy- (-eats virtual cookies- mmmm….rather good. Lol! Sorry! Just have to wait and Yama isn't COLD he's….ummm….-eats cookie- anyways, thankyou for reviewing! Did I ever tell you I once had a long haired guinea pig named Moppy?……yup……-hugs-)
Fawkes' Feathers- ( it is? O.O like….in a strange way? Cause' I have seen stranger –throws arms wide- I mean REAAAAALY weird. –coughs- anyways, yes! Your right! Lol, and your not the only one who has told me that! I'll try to remember better thankyou for reviewing! –cuddles- )
I LoVe ShInY ThInGz- ( I know I know (hangs head) but it got there atleast! Lol yesh, I luv that too. He's a man of many masks. Ohhh, yea I know, I want them together too, but it would be a let down to have a rushed ending, so I'm trying to get it perfect! Lol! Thanks for reading and reviewing. I luv you! –hugs-)
Hakion N' Xubose- ( I…was so shocked. I literally was like, staring at it for the first five minutes before actually reading it. Then I stared at it for another ten minutes…..then I read it over….then I think I giggled sort of in an insane manner and was hyper for a good few hours. Lol! Thankyou for your AWSOME! (and hard to believe) review! I cried tears of joy! –glomps tightly –I looove you!)
Pie Junkie- (I know! Everytime he see's Yamato his heart seems tog et even more cracked….even in this chapter…-cough- it's not going to always be this way though, and remember, he's not the only one hurting! you just can't see the other side,lol, thankyou for reviewing! –takcles and hugs-)
Kaye Ristina- ( true. And I did want to do one….so I shall! Lol thanx for saying so. And reviewing! –glomps- Hopefully summer will be less busy and I can write in more time…thought I doubt it…but yes! They kiss is there now atleast!)
SpiffyMoogle- ( aw! I'm so glad! That makes MY day! Lol! And yea, it was…-sniff- but I will say this. Even if things get sad in this story, the ending will be happy or atleast more good than bad…I wouldn't have it any other way! Thankyou for reviewing! –tackles and hugs-)
Gryphondelta215- ( YES! –punches air- I mean, I know that can be frustrating to read, but I totally wanted that. Lol, sorry for the wait! –huggles- I do too….-comforts main characters- thankyou so much for reviewing!)
MadKitten- ( Aw! You did? Yay! –does a dance- I'm so glad you think so! Makes it all worthwhile I realy only bother for you guys,lol. I know, hopefully I won't be that unlucky! Lol. thanx for reviewing! )
Fluffys-sidekick- ( aw! Thankyou! Hmmmm….my email doesn't let me read what word you said….and no matter how I try to figure out what word you used I can't….but whatever it is, sorry! Lol! And thankyou so much for reviewing. It brings me happiness. -Hugs-)
Lugga- ( aw, well, thought Taichi does sort of go about starting to not be such a PUSHOVER –yells- I'm afraid this is not a very romantice chapter! Don't worry though, their defiantly will be some! –giggles- thankx for reviewing!)
Queenofgoths- ( OH, I'm glad you remembered! Lol ! –glomps- thankyou for reading it! Oh oh, and so very much for reviewing! –snuggles- )
W- (if this isn't your name, srry! Its how it shows up! Well, Yamato's eyes (as EVERYONE has pointed out to me) lol, are honey because….well I can't tell you yet! Lol! But as for the Kairi/kari(or Hikari) thing….I CANNOT believe I did that! I think it's because I was playing kingdom hearts rather aggresivly that week…hmmm….I shall have to fix it when I get the time –sighs. Or a beta. Thankyou for pointing it out! And reviewing! –hugs-)
Neo-Chan- ( ohhh, I'm glad you found it too! –glomps- and yes, I shall UPDATE! In my regrettably annoying, random ways…-laughs nervously- lol, anyways, thankyou for reading it! And reviewing!)
Flakes-of-Snow- ( oh yes! I sure hope so! Lol -glomps- thankyou so much for continuing to read it! And for reviewing! Tackles- best buddy )
Yoshie-iso-cute- ( I knowww! But atleast they did in this chapter….thought it wasn't very happy! lol oh yea, totally. I mean, where would we be without blinking? Blind, that's where. And THAT is what we should be telling our children!….-blinks- anyways….-tackles- thanx for reviewing!)
Kaiho Neko- ( Awwww, thankyou! –wells up with pride- I'm so glad you said so! –shaking with joy- thankyou for your wonderful review! Your reeeeaaaly too kind,lol )
DeathWarranty- ( aw! Yes! Thankyou! –glomps- I totally agree on the beta part,lol. Hopefully, someone will help soon….but anyways, thankyou for your review! –hugs happily)