Do you have any idea how hard it is to ignore people like Malfoy? People who are charming and flamboyant and do anything to catch your attention? Well, if you don't know, let me tell you: it is a pain. It's just so hard! He's just always there! He's like my friggin' shadow! And then he gets me in trouble, because he's such an attention seeking kid. I don't want to give him my attention! Or, at least I didn't back then. Do I regret giving it to him? I'm not sure. I don't think I do. But I did at some points. Like that time in Transfiguration class. He just had to go off and be himself while I was ignoring him.
Why am I still talking about him? Why do I still think about him? These are the questions I ask myself every morning when I wake up.
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Harry avoided Draco. He didn't want to see him or talk to him, but most of all, he didn't want to remember. He didn't want to anymore, but Draco had forced him to. Draco, who had turned out to be a decent guy, a friend for a while, had stabbed him in the back; he had betrayed him. Now, every Death Eater and their neighbour knew of Harry's state. It was wrong to befriend a Slytherin, a death eater's son.
Harry would forget. He would forget the pain of losing Sirius, the grief, the guilt, the emptiness. In order to do that, he'd have to let go of the good as well. The laughs, the jokes, the talks, the happiness…all needed to be forgotten. He needed to forget Sirius.
Harry's thoughts were clear about this. At least, he told himself that that's what he thought.
Note after note after note had been sent to him in the same fashion he had received the other discrete notes. Each time, recognizing the small, neat scrawl, he left it unopened.
He could feel eyes on him during class, burning through his skin, pleading with him to turn his head and lock emerald with grey. But Harry's head remained bent low over his parchment. His parchment was blank, but Draco didn't need to know that. No one did.
The blond passed Harry on his way to the front of Transfiguration, to get the required equipment for the class, and placed a note directly atop Harry's blank paper, which was supposed to contain his notes for the spell. To: Harry Potter. It was more decorative than the other notes he had sent. This was Draco's most obvious attempt to get Harry's attention yet. Harry did nothing but stare at the note. Ron and Hermione noticed it as well.
"What do you think he wants?" Hermione asked sceptically, while Ron poked the folded parchment with his quill. Harry remained silent, but his friends were used to it by now.
"The Ferret's been acting strange lately, if you ask me." Ron stated, eyeing Draco from across the room. "He's probably trying to get Harry to sacrifice himself so the Malfoy name will cause more 'fear' and disgust than it already does." The redhead scoffed and reached for the note. Hermione eyed the note carefully.
"Ron, it's Harry's note. Shouldn't you ask him first?" Ron groaned lightly after being chastised, but smiled almost instantly after looking at Harry.
"You don't mind, right, mate?" Ron asked eagerly. Harry just shrugged in response.
Ron unfolded the paper quickly, as if Draco's deepest and darkest secrets could be revealed through that thin sheet, and it might evaporate if not opened right away. The freckled boy froze, and stared at it dumbly. Hermione swiped the note from his hands and read it to herself. Harry's head perked up when neither of them spoke.
"What's it say?" Harry hoped it didn't say anything too personal. He still hadn't told his friends about the encounters with the Slytherin.
"I-it says…"
"He said he thinks…"
"Err…"
"Uhm…"
"Just tell me." Harry rolled his eyes, slightly annoyed with his friends that they couldn't just get the information to him straight away.
Hermione coughed, regaining what seemed to be her lost composure. "In short, Harry," she stated, looking at him, "Malfoy said he always thinks about you."
"Well, yeah, that's the short version…" Ron stared at the note with a curled upper lip.
Harry's dumb stare went from Hermione to Ron and back again, but none seemed to want to continue in their explanation. He picked the note carefully, still unsure of whether he wanted to read it or not. His eyes wandered slowly from the top of the page to the bottom, his mind reading the letter without his permission.
Dear Harry Potter,
Why do you never look my way? I stare at you, and I know you can feel it. I can sense the changes in you when you force yourself to ignore me. You must know that I think of you day and night, and I'm terribly sorry for all I've done. My foolish mistakes have caused us to be enemies, and I have no idea how I could have allowed that.
In total honesty, it is not only our friendship I think about. I think about how, if maybe we had been nicer to each other, my thoughts of us would be real. On how you would sneak into my common room and lay on my bed with me, just because you felt like holding me. Or, sometimes, we'd watch the lake together, just to bask in its beauty. I'd lean in slowly and push my lips against yours, and you would push back ever so gently.
I realise your friends would have read this as well. I am no longer ashamed of the way I feel for you. I hope you reply, or at least read this letter of mine, dear Harry Potter. Have a nice day.
Draco Malfoy
Harry was on the verge of hexing any and all moving objects. What was the stupid git playing at? He stared at the letter, as if waiting for it to explain itself to him.
"He's just gone mental, Mate," Ron tried to tell Harry, but he wasn't listening. The ravenet now stood up and stomped his way towards the Slytherin who was calmly sitting with his Transfiguration partner, Blaise Zabini.
"What the hell is this?" Harry cried, throwing the letter in Draco's face. Without hesitation, as if he had seen it coming, Draco caught the letter. Everyone in the room had turned to witness the commotion Harry had started.
"A letter. Surely even you aren't that dense."
"Don't play games with me you stupid Ferret!" Harry was breathing in deeply. The letter had affected him greatly. How dare Draco Malfoy try to get his attention in such a manner? A love note? Did the Slytherin know who was bound to read it? How would he explain a love note to Ron and Hermione? And a part deep inside him was fuming because the blond had toyed with emotions he shouldn't have. Feelings Harry shouldn't have towards anyone like a Malfoy. Feelings that Malfoy had used in his letter to mock him with.
"Maybe if you'd have replied to my other letters, this wouldn't have happened." Draco seemed cold and snobby as usual, but in his glare Harry could make out a hint of hurt. Harry didn't care to pay attention at the moment.
"Maybe if you'd have let me be, I wouldn't need to hex you into oblivion!" In an instant, his wand was pointed to Draco's head threateningly. At this point, Professor McGonagall had made her way to them through the circle of people that had formed around them.
"Enough! 10 points from Gryffindor. There will be no wand pointing in this class unless it is to complete the assigned spell. Mr. Potter, go back to your seat."
Both boys ignored her.
"Maybe if you didn't ignore me, I wouldn't have needed to attack you with millions of notes! I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know!"
"Screw you! You don't know anything! Stop thinking you can fix things because you're a Malfoy. You can't fix my problems!"
"Stop it, both of you! 10 points from Slytherin and Gryffindor!"
"I was just trying to help!"
"I don't need your help! I don't need anyone's help!"
"You do! You were getting better, and then I made a mistake! I'm sorry I said! I didn't know!"
"Twenty points taken from the two of you – "
"What? I was getting better? Is something wrong with me? Is that what your implying?"
"Yes Potter! Something is wrong with you! And I was helping until you cast me out-"
"30 points from each house-"
"You were being inconsiderate! You're a jerk! I can't believe I even came close to you- "
"I'm not the one with the problem, Harry! You need to-"
"Stupefy!" Harry and Draco both froze in their tracks. "In all my years of teaching, this is the worst behaviour I have ever had to deal with. Both of you will be seeing me after classes every day, including weekends, until I think you've had enough. This is your punishment from me. The Headmaster will deal with the two of you as well. These actions will never be repeated. Understood?"
Professor McGonagall had never frightened her students more than she had now. Everyone was back in their seats by the time she was done. No one dared breath too loud for fear of what she'd do. She unfroze the Gryffindor and the Slytherin. She shoved them out of the classroom, and neither the blond nor the ravenet spoke or made eye contact with anyone.
"You are to practise the spell until I return." With that said to the class, she slammed the door and pushed the two boys towards Dumbledore's office.
The class was silent and shocked. Students thought of what happened, and none of them understood. Ron was the one who broke the silence.
"Did Malfoy call him Harry?"
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The trip to the Headmaster's office was a long and silent one, save for McGonagall's angry mutterings.
"What outrageous behaviour in the middle of class, I cannot believe the audacity of some people, learn to control your measly school rivalries to outside classrooms, where it won't be my problem, only Madame Pomfrey's and – Liquorice sticks! – you should be ashamed of yourselves. Mature conduct can't be that hard for boys your age. I simply cannot believe it…"
The gargoyle guarding the entrance moved away, bringing the wall with it as well, revealing a spinning staircase. McGonagall did all but thrust the two boys ahead of her on the stairs. Harry and Draco didn't fight her, and made their way as quickly as possible to Dumbledore's door. The Professor had finally stopped her muttering and glared sharply at the two teenagers before rapping her knuckles three times on the door.
"Come in," rang a cheerful voice each could recognise.
The woman took a deep breath to calm herself and opened the door, ushering the two boys in.
The room was as it always had been, filled with mysterious items Harry knew little about. Fawkes, the phoenix, sat happily on his perch, watching the three of them enter. Strange contraptions hummed around them, and all the old headmasters sat upright and nodded to Minerva from their place in their portraits.
"Ah, Mr. Potter. Mr. Malfoy. Minerva. How nice to see you. What brings you here?" The old and gracious man pushed a small bowl of lemon drops toward them, silently offering them some of his beloved candy. Draco shook his head politely, but Harry reached out and took one.
"These two boys disrupted my class with their childish yelling. This has happened before, as you know Albus, but I had no control over them this time. I took off a total of 130 points from them combined, and I had to stupefy them to finally silence them."
"Is this true?" Dumbledore's twinkling blue eyes observed the students as they nodded. "And what was the subject of this loud conversation?"
Both adults stared at them, but neither answered, only wishing to look down at the interesting design on the carpeted floor.
"No answers? Too personal maybe?" Draco lifted his head to stare incredulously at the man sitting behind the desk, but Harry just continued staring at the floor. Draco looked at Harry, for the first time since class, and seeing as he wasn't shocked by the headmaster's educated guess, looked down once more.
"Well, I think we'll take 20 more points from each house so you learn your lesson in disrupting classes. Your punishment," Dumbledore continued, "will be to gather Professor Snape's potion items from the Forbidden Forest from now until he sees fit, since he is, of course, Mr. Malfoy's head of house. As I'm sure Professor McGonagall has already punished you, you are free to leave."
Harry blinked. Free to leave? He turned to look at his own head of house, to get confirmation that he could, in fact, leave the office. She sighed and nodded, waving them both off. Harry almost sprinted out after mumbling a low 'Thank you' to both his elders. Outside, Draco called his name.
"What do you want?" Harry had stopped walking, but didn't turn around. "Want to get me in more trouble?" He started walking again, already at the staircase while Draco was still at the door.
"Don't go. We still need to talk. It isn't over."
"It never began." Harry made his way to the Gryffindor common room without looking back.