Hao and Anna were lying on Anna's bed, panting heavily.
"So…when are you going to see baa-san?" Hao asked as if they were still talking. Anna cuddled up by him and rested her head onto Hao's shoulder.
"Today, when Yoh would come back. I cannot leave him in such condition, you know"
"Yeah, that would be bad. I mean" Hao sighed painfully "Yoh's unpredictable in two ways: when he's angry and when he's drunk. He could do gods know what things" Anna shuddered from the thought.
"What if he'll do something to himself when I'll leave?" Hao kissed her head. He knew that Anna is very concerned about Yoh, but it also showed that she's not so egocentric person as she was showing.
"I'll be looking over him. Don't worry" Anna sighed. Yes, she knew that Hao can be trusted. He always loved Yoh more than life.
"Another thing" Anna sat up in the bed, revealing her naked breast. Hao smiled to her, seeing not Anna anymore, but a goddess that was sent to him from above.
"What?"
"I don't wanna fool Yoh anymore, so, I've decided to tell him the truth" Hao popped out eyes to her.
"You're crazy' he stated the fact in very calm voice. This made Anna laugh her head off "now you're crazier" Hao stated, smiling.
"Sorry, Hao-kun, but it's just so funny to see you calling me crazy in such a serious tone" she brushed a tear of laughter and continued talking "anyway, that would be fair after all. Maybe then we could live together" Hao closed to her and touched her milky cheek.
"They won't let us, you know that. Only because of our past they wouldn't let to do so" Anna knew this truth all too well, but she wanted to at least try for it. However, she understood that it would be fruitless and maybe even worse.
"Hao-kun, how then I am to be without you? The day we parted those years ago…" Hao hugged her.
"I know, Anna-chan, I know. I felt the same way, not knowing which way to turn. Know this that we will be together. In a good way or bad, we will, understand?" Anna nodded. She knew that Hao would always be there for her.
"Ok. So, if we're ready, let me pack my things" she kissed him lightly "we have a long journey ahead of us" Hao smiled and nodded.
"Fine, go" he jumped into the dressing-gown and went to the shower. Anna only smiled to herself and began organizing her things.
As Anna entered the shower, she noticed reminder blinking on the shelf. Once again she pulled the box out of the drawer and took a small pill to her palm. She looked right into it, thinking to herself. Whole these years I've been using it. Wonder how it would be like to live without it, to be pregnant, to have and raise children…to have family. I wonder of Hao wants it. Oh jeez, I know so little about him and he? Does he know something more about me? How can I be so inadverted and not ask him? As Anna was thinking about it, a door of the shower bin opened silently and a hot arm pulled Anna right under hot stream of the water.
"Hao, you idiot, what are you…" he cut her off by kissing her, pressing her against the wall. Anna didn't resist; she loved it when Hao catches her by surprise.
"Sorry, couldn't help it" the brunette guy smiled guiltily to her. Anna frowned, pretending to be mad.
"Say that to the person that cares"
"I'm a person that cares" Hao smirked to her. Anna poked him into chest.
"I know you are. Anyway, let me out. I need to finish packing and get changed" her silky dressing-gown was soaked. Hao threw his sight across her body, admiring her goddess-like lines.
"Oh come on, you look so hot when you're wet" Anna rolled eyes as if still mad, but she liked it when Hao compliments her like that.
"Whatever now let me go" Hao shook his head.
"Say please" Anna crossed arms on her chest, frowning nose.
"No"
"Say it" Hao held his ground. Anna sighed and kissed him roughly, stirring Hao's emotions with that earring of hers.
"You can go" Hao said quickly, smiling to her mischievously. Anna smiled back and walked out of the cabin. She quickly changed into long white terrycloth robe and collected all things needed from the shower. She quickly walked out of the bathroom to continue packing. But she didn't know that she forgot one thing…under the cupboard of the bathroom, laid a small round white pill…
After Anna was done packing, she and Hao sat in the kitchen and waited for Yoh to show up. The couple was beginning to worry, since they've been waiting for him more than two hours. Anna'd been drinking gods know which cup of coffee until she finally stood up and went to the drawer.
"What are you doing?" Hao asked suspiciously. Anna took a pack of cigarettes from the drawer and a lighter. She drew on one of the cigarettes and expired a thick cloud of smoke.
"Calming myself down. What?" Hao arched an eyebrow: yeah, he saw her drinking alright, but smoking? The life ways of Anna was still a huge mystery to him.
"Nothing, it's just not like you" Anna laughed as she sat back in front of him, placing an ashtray on the table. She handed the pack to Hao.
"I know that means leading you away from the right, but still…" Hao laughed at her.
"How thoughtful of you, but thanks anyway" he took one of the cigarettes and drew it on as well.
One cigarette passed out, then – another and so on. The seventh was gone when the couple heard a bang of door opened. Anna stood up quickly and went to the front door. She saw what she's been expecting to see: a completely drunk Yoh, in love with the floor.
"Yoh, you baka, where the hell have you been? You made me worry" Anna went to the brunette guy and helped him to stand. Yoh tried to say something, but the alcohol affected his brains to much for him to breathe out any word. Anna threw his arm around her neck and led him upstairs, tripping on every stair from Yoh's weight. When finally Anna got him to his room, she sat him on bed and pulled of his shirt. As she was about to unzip his pants so Yoh could feel more comfortable, she stopped from all sudden. Anna recalled the night with Yoh two years ago and the night with him yesterday. Yesterday? Oh shit, time does fly fast. It seemed as if it was already eternity ago. She sighed and continued her job. As Anna finished and covered Yoh with covers, she kneeled to him and stared into his cute face. Even now, when Yoh was as drunk as vat, Anna found his feature cute and childish, although Yoh was long ago not a boy. She moved some strands of his chocolate brown hair from eyes, so they wouldn't wake him up. As the blonde done it, a bindle at the back of her throat formed a sharp pain and some tears in her eyes. Why the hell am I doing this? Yoh done nothing to me, I done bad things to him. And now, I'm leaving this wonderful and naïve person all alone! How can I do that?! I don't want to hurt him. Anna stroked two tears away from her cheeks and froze in place. An echo of some song or poem reflected from her conscience.
Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keep avoiding me
Sorrow on my soul
'Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company.
Anna looked down at Yoh. The words felt so right when she thought about all the thing she'd done behind Yoh's back: dating with guys, wild parties, alcohol…Hao… the song continued to echo inside of her…Anna barely held back her tears.
He's more than a man
And this is more than love
Reason that this guy is blue.
Clouds rolling it
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true.
That's right! I cannot be true to Yoh! I love him, but I cannot love him the same way I love Hao! And I'm hurting Yoh so much. Not by my words or him realizing what I am doing, but with my soul turning away from him. Oh, if only I could change it the way he would be happy as well…
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I'm happy with some other guy
I can see him dieing.
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk outa door
I see him dieing little more inside.
I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
I don't wanna take away his life.
I don't wanna be a murderer…
Anna sighed, placing her hand onto Yoh's. The guy didn't wake up, but Anna felt how his warmth emerges from his inside. I'm killing him so much! Why this must happen to me? And Hao? He must be feeling the same way, betraying his own brother with his…sister-in-law. Wah! That's what I am supposed to be to Hao. Anna, you're such a murderer!
I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair,
Preparing for another day.
A kiss up on my cheek
He's here reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late.
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A liar didn't have to tell,
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well.
Anna got up on her feet and before going out of his room, took one glance at Yoh, knowing that it might be the last. She sighed and closed the door silently, leaning against it. The thought that she's about to hurt the person that loves her more than life was kind of unbearable. The blonde stood there, looking into nothingness, the piece echoing in her mind.
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I'm happy with some other guy
I can see him dieing.
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk outa door
I see him dieing little more inside.
I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
I don't wanna take away his life.
I don't wanna be a murderer…
Anna's cheeks were crossed by tears. She once again didn't know why she was crying. It's just that Yoh became her brother lately. No matter that they were arguing and all, but it was just so…natural and now it was about to change a lot. Anna knew that it would be lots harder to him than it is to her still Anna couldn't believe she's about to commit such a suicide. The blonde moved towards the stairs and climbed down. At the last step she collapsed and sat there, crying with sob. Hao closed to her and sat by her side. Seeing how she's suffering tore Hao's heart apart, but he too felt this heaviness about Yoh. He knew that his brother wouldn't understand: later he might cope with it, but he won't figure out the reasons in right way. Hao felt pain inside as he touched Anna's shuddering shoulders.
His trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this.
Anymore…
I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk outa door
I see him dieing little more inside.
I don't wanna hurt him anymore,
I don't wanna take away his life.
I don't wanna be a murderer…
No no no no…
Yeah yeah yeah…
"Anna, calm down, babe" Hao whispered to her ear. His tone was soothing and comforting. Anna, however, didn't stop crying, only sobbing stopped.
"I feel so…guilty and…betraying him" Anna whispered, trembling with all body. Hao hugged her tighter.
"I know, baby, I know" Anna wanted to scream out that she didn't want to hurt Yoh because she loved his brother too much, but what was the point of it? No point.
"Hao, I love you very much. But I cannot shake the feeling that I'm killing Yoh this way. I…I…"
"Sh. Its ok, girl, I understand. I feel the same way. He's my brother and we have no choice but to hurt him if we want to be together" Hao stroked gently through her hair. Anna felt safer and calmer in his arms, but still this place, this house now put a pressure on her. She wanted to escape it right now!
"Hao, please, let's go. I don't want to be here anymore" Hao helped her to stand up and collect her suitcase. They went into already dark outside: Anna took her black BMW and Hao - his silver MERCEDES. They didn't know whether they're to separate or to stay together, but either way, the cars were needed.
They both drove in highway for about half and hour and then, as they turned into the forest road to Izumo, Anna felt how really afraid she was…