Chapter Five
"Hey, what are you thinking about," Ryan asked tentatively as he gently reached a hand across the bed they were both lying on and tucking a loose strand of Marissa's hair behind her ear.
Although they had driven straight through the early evening hours and reached their destination, it had been too late to go and see the boys then. Plus, knowing that Marissa would want to spend a whole day with them and not just a few hours, Ryan had suggested sleeping over in a hotel for the night and then going to see her sons the first thing in the morning. She had had no objections.
While Ryan checked them into their room and ordered dinner from a local pizza parlor that was open late and delivered, Marissa went down to the store in the hotel and found toiletries for the both of them the next day. They'd have to wear their same clothes from that day, but neither minded the little sacrifice.
Now, lying on their sides, hands placed carefully under their faces, folded together, they stared across the empty space of the bed between them, blue eyes connected, unblinking, Ryan's fingers straying to her face as he let them graze her silky, soft skin, her one hand coming up to take his and hold it against her face.
"Just thinking about tomorrow," she sighed, the contentment evident in her voice. "There are so many things we can do with them, and they're going to love Q." At the mention of the dog's name, Marissa let her eyes move away from Ryan's, briefly, to check, once again, upon the slumbering golden retriever, completely sprawled out on the second bed in the room.
"She'll be thrilled; she loves kids," Ryan explained. "I have to be careful about when I take her to the beach or the park, because if there are kids there, she'll never leave voluntarily."
They were silent again, satisfied with just watching the other breathe. The comfort they felt in just being in the others company astonishing. Marissa noticed how tired Ryan looked, his face worn and his eyes heavy.
Startling him, she broke the silence, her hand leaving his and traveling to his own face, tenderly caressing his brow, pushing back the locks of sandy blonde hair colliding with his lashes. "When was the last time you had a good night's rest? You look utterly exhausted."
"It's been a while," Ryan admitted. He had to continue when he saw her confused expression. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately, can't relax enough to fall asleep."
"You're going to sleep tonight. I don't care what I have to do," Marissa determinedly stated while sitting up from the bed and walking towards the bathroom. "I'm going to go and take a shower. Why don't you get comfortable while I'm gone, turn off the lights and get under the covers. I'll be quiet, and if you're not asleep by the time I'm done in the shower, I'll talk to you so much, I'll bore you to sleep." With that she left Ryan with his thoughts…..and visions.
He did as he was told, changed out of his clothes and laid back down in the bed with just his boxers on, turned off the lights, and attempted to go to sleep, even going so far as to shut his eyes, but that was no help. As soon as he closed his eyes it was as if his other senses took over and he could hear the water from her shower so clearly and practically smell the shampoo and soap she was using to cleanse her supple body. Pictures of her naked flashed through his mind, teasing him and making it impossible to relax, thoughts of taking off his last article of clothing and joining her tantalizing him. At the same time, her shower seemed to last forever while ending in what felt like a matter of seconds.
His erotic visions of her nude and washing herself were then replaced by imagining her toweling off, standing in the middle of the steam filled room with just a small, white towel to cover her gorgeous body. Minutes later he heard her emerge from the bathroom and felt the bed shift when she got into her side, but he did not move or say a thing to let her know that he was still awake. Apparently, he didn't have to.
"Ryan," Marissa said giggling, "did you even try to fall asleep? What is it that you can't stop thinking about? Is something wrong?"
Sighing, he flipped over so that he was facing her and almost fell out of the bed when he saw that she had nothing on but the complimentary terry cloth robe which was tied loosely around her slender waist and hanging open slightly to reveal a generous glimpse of her ample cleavage. "I'm…..um…..yeah."
Rolling her eyes but smiling at the same time at his innocence and adorable sense of embarrassment, she bit her lip while thinking about her next move. Throwing caution to the wind, she motioned to her lap. "Come on, scoot over here and lay down." Although wide eyed, Ryan listened and repositioned himself so that he was where she wanted him. "When my boys can't sleep, I do this," she explained, closing his eyes for him and soothingly running her long, calming fingers through his hair. "It seems to help them unwind."
And so it did. Within minutes, Ryan's breathing had become tranquil, his body relaxed, and he was asleep. Chuckling to herself, Marissa reached over to the bedside table, turned off the lamp, bathing the room in darkness, and slid down underneath the covers careful to not disturb the slumbering Ryan.
This is not good, Ryan said to himself as he glanced between the two women in the room with him, one placating and condescending, the other livid and provoked.
"Mrs. Carnahan," the director of the summer camp said in an attempt to reason with her, "this is highly unusual. There are procedures you are supposed to go through, proper steps to be taken if you want to see your kids or need them released from the program for a day. I know that a rules packet was sent out to all the parents, too."
"First of all, would you please stop calling me Mrs. Carnahan; it's Marissa, and secondly, I don't think you understand when I tell you that I want to see my kids and I am going to see my kids. You have no say about it."
Before Marissa could continue, Ryan stepped in. "Ma'am, please would you just listen to us. I understand that there are rules in place for a reason and that this is an inconvenience to you because your camp runs on a tight, strict schedule, but we would not be here if it was not important. This, sending Garrett and Cooper here to this camp, was not Marissa's choice; it was her husband's….."
"Exactly, it was her husband's choice, and he agreed to our rules," the camp counselor interrupted Ryan. "Mr. Atwood I really don't see how any of this is of your business, why you are here with Mrs. Carnahan, or how you fit into this situation, and, to be frank, what you have to say or think does not matter to me."
Marissa could not take this one more second. Simply gripping the armrests of the chair she was sitting in no longer had the ability to keep her temper in check, so, jumping up, she leaned against the desk of the woman in front of her, moved her face close to her adversary's, and whispered, her voice eerily calm.
"If my sons are not here within five minutes, I am calling the cops and strapping this facility with the largest lawsuit possible. Now get me my kids."
Her threats worked, and Ryan found himself exactly five minutes later standing outside by Marissa's car watching on as she embraced her sons, smiles and laughter filling the air. It was amazing to watch her with them, to see her love for her children written so plainly across her face…if only she'd look at me the same way….and to see the adoration the two little boys felt for their mother took his breath away.
Garrett, her nine year old, intelligent, quiet son was more reserved than his outgoing, bubbly, giggling eight year old counterpart, Cooper. Although he had seen their pictures around the house, it was nothing like seeing them in person, and he was confused as to whom Garrett looked like. He had green eyes, something neither of his parents had, and brown hair with a definite auburn tint to it. Must take after a distant relative, Ryan thought to himself.
Now Cooper on the other hand, there was no questioning who he looked like. Other than the darker hair, he was the spitting image of his mother, blue eyes, little button nose, plump lips, high cheek bones, and even a similar build. It appeared as if the name choice had been a perfect fit.
After what seemed like mere seconds to Ryan but in all actuality had been several minutes, Marissa stood up from her perched spot on the ground, took her sons by the hand, and walked towards Ryan, her smile only becoming larger as she saw him stand up straight and fidget with his clothes, a nervous grin plastered on his face.
"Ryan Atwood, I would like you to meet the two most important men in my life, Garrett and Cooper Carnahan. Boys, this is my friend Ryan," Marissa introduced, startling Ryan when she winked at him.
Putting his hand out for Ryan to shake, Cooper was the first to speak up. "Hello Mr. Atwood. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Keeping a straight face at the boy's formal greeting, Ryan shook his hand and replied in an equally serious manner. "It's nice to meet you, too, Cooper, but please, call me Ryan." Turning to Garrett, he put his hand out to him as well. "I've been looking forward to meeting the both of you now for a while."
Hesitantly and not until his Mom pushed on his shoulder softly did Garrett put his hand out to meet Ryan's, but once he did he smiled up at him. "Hi," the shy little boy said as he met the older man's eyes, a silent word being shared between them that nothing else was needed.
"Hi Garrett," Ryan returned before letting go of his hand and turning towards the SUV. "Alright, is everyone ready to go?"
"You'll have to squeeze in," Marissa told them as she opened up the backdoor on the passenger side and revealed the vehicle filled to capacity. "Mommy went a little crazy yesterday when she was shopping."
Garrett and Cooper climbed agilely into the backseat, buckling up immediately, Ryan noticed as he checked up on them, as the two adults got into the front, Ryan driving, Marissa in the passenger seat. Starting the car up, they were not even on the road yet before Cooper was talking again.
"What's all this stuff for, Mommy," he asked curiously. "And why do you have the stroller with you?"
Marissa laughed at her son's questions, glowing in her children's presence. "All this stuff is for my bathroom. Ryan is remodeling it for me, and the stroller has a surprise in it."
As if on cue, as soon as Marissa mentioned the surprise, Q let out a bark, amazing both boys.
"That's Q," Marissa explained, "Ryan's dog. She was hit by a car a couple of weeks ago and got hurt, that's why she's in the stroller, but as soon as we get to the park, Ryan will take her out and you can play with her as long as you're gentle."
Glancing into the rearview mirror, he noticed that both boys were smiling, but Garrett looked to be in seventh heaven. Perhaps he felt Ryan watching him, for he looked up and met his eyes in the mirror, his smile only growing wider in proportion.
"Is it Q…from James Bond," Garrett asked excitedly to which Ryan nodded his head. "That is so cool! What kind of dog is she?"
"A golden retriever," Ryan answered.
From that point on Garrett was lost in thought only moving ever few moments to twist around and peer at the stroller hoping to catch a glimpse of the dog. While he was in his own little world, Marissa and Cooper rambled on, the younger boy sharing stories of camp with his Mom and Marissa telling him all about the remodel on the house.
Ryan knew that Marissa loved her sons equally, both unconditionally; there was never a doubt about that, but he could tell that she was closer to Cooper for the main fact that they seemed to relate to each other easily, that they understood each other, and that their personalities were so much alike. Oddly enough, Ryan did not feel as if Garrett reflected his father's personality, and, in fact, he felt that he would be able to identify with the child, that they were similar. Liking the thought that he might be able to be close with one of Marissa's sons, Ryan drove on to their first destination, the park, with a wide smile on his face.
The day had gone by quickly, too quickly for Marissa's taste, but time would not stand still no matter how she wished it would. They had gone to the park first so that the boys could play with Q as much as possible, all four of them lounging with the dog on the grass and talking animatedly. When the boys, inevitably, got bored with just talking to their Mom they ran off to the swings or got Ryan to pay different games with them. Just in the morning alone, they had played tag, soccer, shot baskets, and Ryan had pitched to them so they could show off their newly improved hitting skills from camp.
Marissa had planned that they would go out to lunch, but the boys did not want to leave the park claiming it was not fair to Q that they would get to eat and she wouldn't. In all actuality, they just wanted to play more and they knew that they could scarf down their food as quickly as possible in park but their Mom would make them behave in public.
Giving in without a fight, Marissa left the three boys and their chaperone, Q, to play while she went off to find lunch. Returning a half hour later, she had brought back sandwiches from a small-town deli, chips, pop, and lots of chocolate chip cookies, the boys' favorites.
After lunch, her two rambunctious boys surprised her by cuddling up to her sides and laying with her as they watched the clouds and made up stories about them, a favorite pastime Marissa had started when they were first learning to read and write.
As the boys bickered good-naturedly over what a particularly large cloud should be, Marissa let her eyes wander over to Ryan to find him watching her enthralled, respect and longing written clearly across his handsome face. The intensity of his gaze took her breath away.
She knew that he had talked to both Garrett and Cooper when she was gone, convinced them to do this for her, knowing that she needed to feel them close to her, needed to hold them. He knew her, already, better than anyone before in her lifetime, perhaps because she had never let anyone in as much.
Mouthing a silent thank you to him, she turned back to her boys and continued their game, but every once in a while, she would let her eyes go back to the man who was constantly on her mind, meeting his gaze with her own filled with need and want, realizing in that moment that they were reaching a point rather quickly where there would be no turning back and instead of putting on the brakes to slow down what was happening between them, she was determined to move full speed ahead.
After a while, the boys grew restless in her arms and she released them to play, moving herself closer to Ryan and resting her head on his shoulder as they silently watched the two children run around the park. The afternoon hours passed too quickly, and before they knew it, it was almost time for the boys to head back to camp. They wanted to be back for dinner and game night.
Surprising even Ryan, Marissa decided that they had to leave the park slightly early, that there was one more stop she wanted to make before the boys had to go back. Taking the keys from him, insisting that it had to be a surprise, she drove them to their destination in a matter of minutes only to be met with complaints.
"You've got to be kidding, Marissa," Ryan nagged, "the mall? Didn't we do enough shopping yesterday?"
"Mom," Cooper joined in, "we're not going to the store."
Garrett finished off the trio of complaints by just rolling his eyes, crossing his arms in protest, and pouting.
"We're not going shopping," Marissa clarified breezily with a toss of her hair and a flip of her hand. "It's a surprise. Now quit whining and get your tails in gear. We're on a tight schedule here."
With that she went off quickly towards the entrance of the mall while the three grumbling boys lagged behind.
"We're having our picture taken," Cooper asked his Mother incredulously.
"Yes, we are," she replied while tickling him softly and eliciting peals of laughter from the small boy. "Today has been too much fun, and someday when I'm old, feeble, and grey, I want to have a picture to remind me of it so I don't forget."
"Oh, so you mean now," Garrett teased his mother a smirk on his face. Ryan was surprised by how quick he was and impressed with his sense of humor and ability to make fun of his Mom.
Before Marissa could move to him to start his tickle torture, Ryan spoke up. "Just exactly how are we all going to fit in there, Marissa?"
"We'll make it work," she dismissed his concerns. "Since you're the biggest, why don't you go in first and sit down. I'll then come in and get situated, we'll call in Garrett, and then we'll squeeze Cooper in last since he's the smallest."
"Whatever you say," Ryan laughed as he went in and did as he was told, calling her name almost immediately.
Picking up the curtain and letting it fall back down after she stepped into the miniature photo booth, Marissa was struck by exactly how close her body was to Ryan's. Their eyes locked and before either of them could say or do anything, they were drawn to each other. His hands snaked around her waist, his rough fingers finding her smooth skin that was revealed between the waist of her jeans and the hemline of her simple t-shirt and teased as they rubbed softly against her. Drawing her body to his, she sat down on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and letting her face slowly…..move…..in… towards…..his. Just as their foreheads grazed against each others, soft whimpers of pleasure and desire escaping Marissa's parted lips, an impatient voice sounded and snapped them out of their moment.
"Mom, can I come in yet," Garrett asked making Marissa snap her head around and let go of Ryan's neck disappointing him. Needing to compensate, he just pulled her into his body even tighter.
"Sure, honey, sorry," Marissa called out, and, within a matter of seconds, Garrett joined the gathering inside of the booth.
He was quickly arranged to stand in the seat next to Ryan and bend down so that his face was in the camera's viewpoint, and then Cooper joined them and kneeled onto the ground beside Marissa's legs.
The pictures were mainly humorous, silly faces and snapshots of all four of them giggling together out of their ridiculous arrangement, but the last picture, the picture that would become Marissa's favorite was of an entirely different nature. Thinking that there were only four pictures to be taken, Cooper and Garrett both jumped up and scrambled out of the booth as quickly as possible leaving the two adults to share another private moment. Turning around so she was facing him again, Marissa reached a hand up and placed it on Ryan's cheek, replacing her forehead back into his original position against his.
"Thank you for today," she whispered her voice barely loud enough for him to hear, her lips so close to his it felt as if he could feel the breeze their slight movement created. He just nodded and wrapped his arms around her drawing her body even closer to his yet again. While lost in each other, the camera snapped the last picture, forever capturing the moment when Ryan and Marissa both realized they were falling for the other.
It was late by the time they got back to Newport. Marissa had said that she would take Ryan home and then just continue on her own, but he had negated that idea instantly, claiming he would not be able to sleep knowing that she and Q were out at 2 AM driving together going home to dark and abandoned house. He'd stay over, something Marissa was not going to argue with, in a guest room and she could run him home in the morning to pick up his truck and tools.
The ride home itself had been quiet, each person lost in thought and fantasy imagining what was going to happen next between them. Instead of stopping and wasting time at a sit down restaurant, they had merely gone through a drive through. Occasionally they would talk briefly about the boys or the renovation, but they did not move past surface issues, too timid to be the first to speak about what was happening between them.
Once they arrived back at Marissa's house, she went right upstairs to her room to change into her pajamas eager to be out of the clothes she had been wearing for two days as Ryan, at his own insistence, checked the house over to make sure everything was safe. After changing, she sat down on the top of the steps and waited for him.
He approached her slowly, taking his time with each riser, his eyes never moving away from hers. Without a word, he pulled her up to stand next to him when he got to the top of the stairs. Taking his hand, she led him down the hall to a guest bedroom, her breathing slightly deeper and her heart rate pacing.
Just as she was about to turn and go back to her room, he grabbed her by the arm and spun her around, pushing her up against the door to his room crashing his body into hers. They didn't move, just stared at each other for a long moment enjoying the sensations coursing through their bodies as they felt the others desire for them. Slowly, agonizing slowly, Ryan lifted on of his hands to her mouth, gently tracing her lips with his finger tips. Unbidden, she opened them, taking his fingers into her mouth and greedily sucking on them until that was not enough to quell either of their thirsts for the others body.
Letting both of his hands fall to her hips, Ryan drew Marissa even closer into his body as he leaned in and took her mouth in his. At first their kiss was gentle, caring, timid, but the passion they felt for the other quickly took control. Over and over he hungrily tasted her, mingling their tongues together in an erotic dance of lust. Not satisfied by just standing there and kissing, their hands started to roam each others bodies, Ryan's hands running up her loose t-shirt she was wearing to bed and Marissa's going to the waistband of his pants. Just as she was about to unbutton them, Ryan pulled away breathless.
"Wait," he choked out while gasping for air, "we can't do this…..you can't do this."
And with that he left her there at first bewildered and then sobbing as he fled down the stairs in an attempt to get as far away from her as possible.