Oh, this ficcie only covers Strategy X through Middleverse. Why? Because I'm splitting up the chappies, so Part 2'll have Turn of the Rogue through The Cauldron. Yeah.

!WARNING! This ficcie features Evan, Scott, and Jean-bashing. Most likely. They're prime suspects. Sorry about the belated warning, I forgot to put it in the first chappie and it wouldn't fit in the summary.

Heads up: No geese were harmed in the making of this chapter. Confused? Just read, you'll understand later.

And, as requested, here's the cast list for Strategy X:

Duncan Matthews – Paul WTFshislastname

Jean Grey – Jubes Lee

Scott Summers – Bobby Drake

Paul WTFshislastname – Edward Kelly

Todd Tolansky – Evan Daniels

Professor Charles Xavier – Eric Lensherr

Ororo Munroe – Mystique

Kurt Wagner – Pietro Maximoff

Logan – Kurt Wagner

Director – Tabby

Tabby is always the director. Until Season 2, at least.

DISCLAIMER: "No, I'm a positive person. You're like Santa Claus…on Prozac…in Disney Land…getting laid."

Episode I: Strategy X (Part II)

The next day at school, we find Evan sitting in front of the principal's office, moodily shuffling his feet.

The door opens to reveal a woman with pale-ish skin, brown hair, and glasses. "Mr. Daniels?" she asks.

"Yes, Auntie O?" Evan responds, and she thwacks him on the head.

Evan reluctantly gets up and goes inside, while Ororo runs to open a window. "Now, Spyke, shall we talk about your new friend, Bobby Drake?"

Evan picks his ear, and Ororo thwacks him on the head again. "Ow! Well, he's cool. Heck, if it wasn't for him, them jocks would've stomped my skull flat."

"Yes," Ororo says a tad disappointedly. "Well, Drake, as you've noticed, has special powers. There are others like him. We need to know more. Much more."

"Look," Evan says. "I don't wanna-"

"Silence!" Ororo's voice, now all freaky evilness. "You'll do as you're told! Understand!"

"Yes, ma'am!" Evan squeaks.

Ororo turns back into herself and grins. "I could get used to this shape-changing thing."

At the Institute, Pietro wanders around in shock at his new bedroom. "Whoa," he says. "This bedroom…is mine?"

Magsy chuckles and grins, then flinches at his chuckle. "Of course, Pietro. That's why your parents sent you to us."

"You mean, my foster parents sent me back to my original parent," Pietro counters.

"Get over it already!" Magsy snaps. "Anyway, your…whatevers…knew you'd be happy here."

"Happy?" Pietro demands. "How can I be happy when I look like this? I scare people."

"Well, you're not blue," Mystique adds, taking a stab at being helpful.

"Not helping," Pietro and Magsy say in unison.

"I have a surprise for you, Pietro," Magsy says. "Put this on."

Pietro puts it on, and he turns back to the Pietro he usually looks like – so basically, all that happens is that he loses the pointy ears and tail, and his feet are normal. "…I'm still fuzzy."

"It's an image inducer," Magsy says. "It just changes what you look like, so shut up and deal with it."

The next day at school, Evan corners Bobby at his locker. "Yo, Drake," he says, and flips up onto the top of the lockers. "What's up?"

Bobby scans the completely empty halls. "That's quite a jump."

"Like it?" Evan asks. "Surprised you could see it through them smokies of yours. Here, let me help." His tongue whips out and grabs Bobby's glasses.

"Hey! Give 'em back!" Bobby yells.

"Afraid to open your eyes?" Evan taunts.

"No, not really," Bobby says. "But we actually need you later."

Evan tongue-flicks the glasses back to Bobby. "As you can se, we both got something in common."

"Yeah," Bobby says, wiping the slime of his glasses. "Now we're both slimy."

"No, I mean, we ain't like other people," Evan corrects, hopping off the lockers.

"And your point is…?"

"I just wanna talk. Get to know each other. Maybe…" He slurps up Bobby's entire lunch bag. "Do lunch."

"Ewwwwwww," Bobby says.

Tabby coughs.

"I mean, I'll think about it," Bobby says quickly, walking off.

"Sure. You think about it, Drake," Evan says. "I got other stuff to do." And he hops out the window.

Back at the Institute, Magsy is sitting in his study reading a book when the picture frame on the wall lights up. "Ugh, how tacky," he says, but reluctantly wheels over and opens up Cerebro, where a little dot is blinking in Bayville High.

The phone rings, and Magsy hits the speakerphone. "Hello, Bobby."

"Man, Prof-Man," Bobby says. "You know it always weirds me out when you do that."

"Don't care," Magsy says airily. "What are you calling about?"

"One of the students here, he's kinda like us."

"Yes, Evan Daniels," Magsy says.

"You know him?" Bobby asks.

"And hate him," Magsy says. Tabby coughs. "I mean, Cerebro just got a reading…I refuse to put on that dorky headgear."

"Like you can talk?" Tabby demands.

Bobby continues talking. "He's not the kind of guy I'd like to share a room with. To put it bluntly, he's got the personal hygiene of a dead pig."

"We can't turn our backs on anyone, Bobby…even though I'd love to," Magsy says.

"Yeah, I know," Bobby says reluctantly. "So should I bring him in?"

"No need," Magsy says. "I'll speak with you later."

Pietro walks up. "What's that thing, Prof-Dad?"

Magsy flinches. "Please don't call me that. And this thing is Cerebro. It detects the manifestation of special powers. That's how I found you."

Pietro glances at the screen, where Evan is peering straight at it. "So…this guy is one of us? Please say no!"

"That remains to be seen," Magsy says while the camera cuts to Mystique and her greenhouse. "Mystique?"

"Yes, Prof-Bucket?" Mystique asks while sending a little raincloud over all her plants.

"I wonder if you could audition someone for me."

Later that night, Evan hops over the fence into the Institute and heads into the grounds.

Mystique opens the glass doors to her balcony and launches into the sky. "I am really hating flying in this outfit," she complains.

"Deal with it, because I don't care," Tabby says while giving herself a manicure. "You picked that outfit after your mondo-mutation."

"Yeah, not for flying!"

Evan hops around the grounds until a shadow passes over him. He looks up to see Mystique fly by, followed by a massive raincloud dumping water on him. "Now that is just freaky," he comments. Then a lightning bolt strikes hear him and he heads for the X-Mansion.

Mystique follows, sending lightning bolts after him. "This is a lot of fun!" she says with a grin.

"I'm glad you're happy," Tabby says while admiring a nail.

In the X-Mansion, Pietro walks down the stairs, kinda weirded out by the random lightning storm. The doors blow open, and Pietro is hit by a gust of wind…then a rather froggy Evan Daniels.

"Whoa, what are you?" Evan demands. "Some kind of albino plush toy?"

Pietro sniffs and holds his nose. "The names Quicksilver, and at least I don't reek like unwashed lederhosen."

"You white-furred freak!" Evan snarls.

"You don't even know what lederhosen means," Pietro says.

"Neither do you," Evan points out.

"True," Pietro concedes, and Evan leaps at him.

Pietro ports away and reappears on the chandelier. "As you say in America: I'll beat yoah ass, -CENSORED-!" (He didn't sound gangsta at all, either.) He jumps off down a hallway, and Evan follows him.

Mystique flies in. "Daniels could be one of us," Magsy says to her.

"Sometimes, I think your good heart blinds even you from the truth," Mystique says.

Meanwhile, Evan is still chasing Pietro down the hallway (and destroying it in the process). "I'm gonna rip your tail off, you fuzzy gecko!"

Pietro and Evan wind up back in the front of the mansion, where Magsy and Mystique are watching. "This test is over!" Magsy yells at them. "Evan Daniels does have the special gift of the X-gene. He is welcome to join us if he so desires."

"Only thing I desire is albino boy's fuzzy head," Evan says, and leaps at Evan, pulling him off the chandelier and plummeting toward the ground. Right before they hit it, they teleport off somewhere else.

Aka the Danger Room.

"Where are we?" Pietro asks, looking around.

"You asking me?" Evan demands. "You brought us here."

Pietro points at the guns emerging from the walls. "I think I'm going to regret it!"

We cut to the hallway, where Bobby is putting on his X-Shoes. "Bobby! Jubes! Quicksilver and Spyke have teleported into the Danger Room!"

"Oh, man! The Danger Room has automated defenses!" Bobby exclaims with an attempt at worried-ness.

"It'll attack them with everything it's got!" Jubes exclaims just as attempted worriedly.

"Get in there now!" Magsy orders.

Back in the DR, Pietro and Evan are on the run from the guns. "Blitzkrieg!" Pietro yells. (1)

Bobby and Jubes run in. "I've got the cannons," Bobby says. "Keep them clear of the tentacles."

"On it!" Jubes says, and they run off, saving Pietro and Evan's respective behinds.

Magsy and Mystique walk into the control room – well, Magsy wheels into the control room. "Security override: Priority X," Magsy says, shutting down the DR. "Voiceprint: Eric Lensherr."

The computer makes a coughing noise.

"…Buckethead," Magsy finishes reluctantly.

"Confirmed. Shut down in five seconds," the computer says smugly.

"Now I get it," Pietro says. "It's a training area. Watch." He ports out of Jeans TK grasp and over to a cannon. "I just pull the plug and-SHIT!"

The cannons starts shooting randomly and pretty much spazzing until Mystique zaps with a lightning bolt. "I am really liking this weather thing," she says happily.

"Forget this, man," Evan says. "I've seen enough. I'm outta here."

"Daniels!" Bobby calls halfheartedly after him. "Aw, gee-whiz, Prof-Man. I couldn't stop him. Gosh." He snaps his fingers.

"I'm glad you didn't," Magsy says with a sage nod. "He's soooo not one of us."

"I blew it too, Prof-Dad," Pietro says unhappily. "I'm sorry. You've been wonderful. But I guess I…I just don't belong here!" he exclaims angstily, and ports off.

"…Okay, that had nothing to do with how I raised him," Magsy says. "Just to clear things up."

"Sure, Prof-Bucket," Mystique says to him.

"Hey, you raised yours a lot worse!" Magsy snaps.

"Yeah, but I admit that," she counters.

"Okay, we get it," Bobby cuts in. "Powerful mutants are crappy parents. Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta talk to your angsty son."

"But Kurt's not in an angsty mood," Mystique says. "…Yet…"

"No, Prof-Man's angsty son," Bobby says, and leaves.

Outside, Evan bursts through a window (not breaking it, for once) and tumbles to a halt in front of Mystique's currently-not-angsty son…who snikts out his new claws. "Going somewhere, bub?"

"No, Kurt," Magsy says sternly. "Let him go."

"Aw, but-"

"No."

"But-"

"We need him later," Magsy says grumpily.

Kurt pouts, but lets Evan leap past him. "I came back because I smelled trouble brewing. 'Course, coulda just been stink boy there."

"I wish it was," Magsy says. "Welcome home, old friend. We've missed you."

Meanwhile, Pietro has ported into the X-Hangar and found himself in front of the X-Jet. "WTF is that?"

"The SR-77 Blackbird," Bobby says, walking in. Twice as fast as the SR-71 and with three times the range and firepower. Nice, huh?"

"Wasn't the SR-71 a surveillance craft, and therefore unarmed?" Pietro asks. (2)

"…I said it was three times that much," Bobby says.

"Which would still be zero," Pietro points out.

"What, are you some sort of math teacher now?" Bobby demands.

"You're the one not making sense!" Pietro says.

"…Your dad!"

"…Good point," Pietro agrees. "So, is this yours? Please tell me you get to fly it."

"It's ours," Bobby says. "If you stick around for a while, I'll show you how to pilot this bad boy."

"…You're gonna show me how to pilot that?" Pietro asks disbelievingly.

"Actually, he's not even allowed to ride shotgun," Jubes says as she walks in.

"You mean co-pilot?" Pietro asks.

"No, shotgun," Jubes says.

There's a flashback of Jubes learning to pilot the X-Jet, with Mystique as the co-pilot and Bobby in that little hole-in-the-ceiling, holding a shotgun.

"You're doing a good job," Mystique says approvingly to Jubes.

"There's a flock of goosi heading toward us," Bobby calls.

"Just leave the geese be, Bobby," Mystique calls back.

"They're coming at us!" Bobby yells. "I'll shoot them out of the way!"

"NO!" Jubes and Mystique yell in unison…right before a dead goose plops down from five feet above them and plasters itself on the windshield.

Mystique glares at Bobby, who shrugs. "Hehe…oops?"

"That poor goose," Jubes says as the flashback fades away. "But anyway, I can show you how pilot it. So, you wanna be part of our team?"

"Me?" Pietro asks. "I almost got Bobby killed a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, don't do that again," Bobby says. "But look, we all mess up sometimes. That's why we're here, to learn not to make mistakes like that."

"That's why we'd like you to stay," Jubes says. "And not be so angsty, because it's really bumming us out."

"Okay!" Pietro agrees cheerily.

"Rock on!" Bobby says, high-fiving him. "Come on, I'll show you where they hide the beer – Root…Beer. Yeah, where they hide the…soda."

"Nice save," Jubes says.

"Really?" Bobby asks eagerly.

"NO!"

The next day at school, Ororo is pretty mad. "I can't believe this!" she yells at Evan. "You were actually inside and you ran away!"

"Hey, I freaked," Evan says. "So sue me. I did what I could."

"And no doubt the good Prof-Magnet wiped your mind so you can't remember anything!" Ororo yells.

Evan shakes his head.

"Get out!" Ororo yells, and Evan hops out the open door.

Ororo screams in frustration, morphing back into her dark-skinned, blue-eyed, white-haired self.

"Do not be so hard on the boy, Storm," Xavier's voice says. "We don't want to thin our ranks, now, do we?"

"No, Papa Cueball," Ororo says. "I'll be more careful."

"Mind you are," Xavier says while paperclips do figure eights on her desk. "Remember, this is only the beginning."

"Bum bum bummmm!" Tabby says dramatically. "And that's a wrap!"

"Thank god!" Evan yells.

"…For the first episode," Tabby finishes. "We've got 51 more episodes to go!"

"CRAP!" Evan yells.

"Well, more like 42," Tabby amends. "Since Season 4 isn't out on DVD yet."

"Like I said before…CRAP!"

……………

(1) – Blitzkrieg, also known as a blitz, is when you attack someone with everything you've got. It's how Germany took over Poland in WWII, and it kinda makes sense Pie's screaming that, seeing as his daddy's from Poland. And, you know, Kurt's German, and all.

(2) – It is, in fact. Don't trust me? Look it up on Wikipedia. I actually saw that on IMDb, and decided to look it up to see if it was true. I know. I have too much time on my hands.

And that's it for eppie 1! Next chappie, we meet our new Kitty! I think you can guess who she is, since I wrote out the opening credits.

Oh, by the by, I need a Mafia name for Bobby. Don't ask, it's for a future running gag. So…help me out?

While I'm asking for names, anyone good at naming bands? Cuz in a ficcie I'm working on (it's coming along nicely, although nowhere near halfway done, so I'm not posting it yet), Remy, John, and Piotr are in a band, and I need a name for them. Badly. ANY suggestions are welcome, even something like The Bubble Pink Gophers. Anything!