Chapter Eight

The rest of summer passed quickly, surprising Marissa, but it was easier to pass one's time when you had someone to share it with. Ryan continued to come to work everyday, and, with her help as he taught her how to do simple tasks, they finished early and were able to spend the Friday before parent's day lounging around the house and just enjoying the brand new amenities in her en-suite bathroom. The next morning they left for Northern California where the camp was located, taking their time, and driving leisurely. If they saw a cute antique store, they would stop. If they wanted to take a break and play in a park for a while, they stopped. By the time they arrived at their destination, it had been evening, so they checked into the same hotel and, on this trip, used the hotel to its full potential, enjoying each others company and bodies.

Parents' day had gone well beyond Marissa's expectations. Everything had been perfect. The weather was just right, warm with a slight, refreshing breeze, the boys did well in their games, Q was feeling better than ever, Ryan and the boys seemed to grow even closer as they discussed sports much to her mock dismay and secret delight, and, late that evening, they all arrived back in Newport safe, sound, and sleepy. Most importantly however, her boys were home….for good.

The Monday following parents' day Ryan had started a new job, another one in Newport, but although she could no longer spend her whole day with him, her boys were home to keep her company. After Ryan finished work for the day, he would come by to pick Q up, Marissa, Garrett, and Cooper babysat her, and the five of them would find something to do together in the evenings to have fun. Sometimes it was as simple as going to the park or beach or staying in to play games and watch tv, while, at other times, they would go to the movies, recreation centers, or school shopping.

After a couple of weeks, once Labor Day had become another memory, school began for the two boys and Marissa was, once again, left alone during the day. Q was practically healed so she did not need to be babied or watched, and the house chores did not keep Marissa near as occupied as they did before she found out what actually having something to do with her days felt like, so she took up the habit of going to work with Ryan.

They kept things professional when on the job site, almost purely platonic, and while she helped him by doing odd end jobs and running quick errands, they were able to talk their days away, learning more and more about each other. Occasionally she would have things to do that would make her late in meeting him or she would have to leave earlier than he did to pick Garrett and Cooper up from school, but basically they would spend their whole day together.

However, their nights were different a story. She was a mother after all, and they both knew it would be inappropriate for him to stay over at her house when the boys were there. Because of this, they had to become resourceful. Lunch times were their saving grace. They would leave the job site on the premise that they were doing out to eat, but, in all actuality, they drove back to Marissa's house to have sex and would eat a simple, sack lunch while in the car. It wasn't perfect, but they both knew it could be worse.

Marissa had also done little things to help prepare for whatever her future might hold for her. Wanting to have a slight nest egg, she began to sell off her jewelry her husband had given her over the years, starting, first, with her wedding rings and working her way through her jewelry box. The money she received from pawning them she put in a savings account that was only in her name. Not only had she done that, but she had also started researching work options in the nursing field and scoping out the local job scene.

For the first time in her life, Marissa Carnahan did not obsess over her past, ignore her present, or fear her future.

"Garrett, Cooper," Marissa yelled up the stairs the Tuesday of the second week of school, "let's go. You're going to be late!"

Garrett came running down the stairs, back pack slug over his shoulder. "What about breakfast, Mom?"

"I already took out bottles of juice and poptarts for you both. They're waiting for you in the car." Before he could interject, she cut him off. "And yes, I remembered not to toast yours you strange child." Ruffling his hair playfully, she gently nudged him towards the front door as she continued talking to him. "What's your brother doing up there?"

"I don't know," Garrett replied already heading out the door. "He was still in the bathroom when I came down stairs." With that, he disappeared out to the car.

Grumbling the entire way up the stairs under her breath, Marissa went to find her missing son, calling out to him as she walked down the hallway towards the bathroom he shared with his brother. "Cooper Carnahan are you about ready to leave yet? You cannot get a tardy this early in the semester!" There was no answer, so she kept persisting. "What are you doing in there, Cooper?" When he still didn't respond to her inquiries, she, tired of being ignored, knocked softly on the door before walking into the room, hand shielding her eyes so as not to embarrass her son.

Standing there, on a stool, in front of the mirror was Marissa's youngest, gel in hand as he worked on his hair, already dressed. He was completely focused on what he was doing, staring intently at his own refection. Noticing how serious he was, she did not want to tease and embarrass him, so she spoke in an interested tone.

"Honey, what are you doing?"

Sighing out of exasperation, Cooper turned to his mother with one of the saddest expressions on a child's face she had ever seen. "I'm trying to make my hair look like Ryan's, but it's not working."

"Well, why didn't you ask Mommy to help you?" Motioning for him to sit on the counter, she took the gel out of his hands and put it away. "I think you used enough of that. Now, let me see what I can do."

Within a few minutes, she had his hair fixed, he hopped off of the counter and ran out of the room to go downstairs, forgetting his book bag, and making Marissa giggle to herself as she picked it up and turned the lights out as she started to follow him out of the house. Just as she reached the end of the stairs, a voice rang out that made her freeze in place.

"What the hell did you let him do to his hair," Gerry's cold tone frightened her. She could tell he was already on edge and not happy with her. "I do not pay top dollar for them to go to one of the best private academies in the country to walk around looking like punks."

"He doesn't look like a punk, Gerry," Marissa tried to reason with him. "He's a young kid who wants to look cool."

"I better never catch him wearing his hair like that again, and what have you been doing all day long," he spit out at her. "This house is atrocious. You said you could keep it clean yourself, that you didn't need a cleaning lady, but this is disgusting."

"It's not that bad," Marissa started to contradict him, but he cut her off.

"As soon as you're done taking the boys to school, I want you back here, and by the time I wake up, this place better be spotless. I'll be home for a few days, and while I'm here, I will not be living in a pigsty. You can clean today and take care of all my errands I have for you to run the next couple of days. For now, I'm going to bed. It was a long flight." He started making his way up the stairs, but then turned around, once again, to speak with her, his voice harsh and biting. "And change your clothes when you get home. You look disgraceful! No wife of mine will go out in public life that!"

Looking down at herself, Marissa was at a loss for words. What's wrong with what I have on, she asked herself silently. Dressed to help Ryan, she wore an old pair of jeans, tennis shoes, and a plain, basic, white t-shirt. Hair pulled up, no makeup on, she looked like a…..housewife. Sighing and feeling as if she would burst into tears at any minute, she quickly made her way to the car knowing she had to hurry if she was going to stop by Ryan's work site to break the news to him that Gerry was back.

Ryan's current job was building an elaborate and multi-tiered deck on the back of a Newport mansion, easy work but time consuming. When Marissa arrived, he was cutting the planks into the correct sizes for the particular portion he was working on, so she stood back and waited for him to finish before speaking up, not wanting to startle him.

At the mere sight of him standing in front of her, so sure of himself and gentle even as he worked with power tools, the tension that had been building in her body slowly began to dissipate and she felt a smile start to form on her face. As he put the saw down, she let her voice mingle in the warm September morning air. "Hey."

Turning around, he grinned when he saw here, and they made their way towards each other. Before either said anything else, his hands went up to gently cup her face as he slid his lips onto hers and greeted her with a soft, sweet kiss. They knew they were safe from peering eyes; his current employer was single and at work all day long.

Pulling away from her, he took her hands in his and led her over to the edge of the deck, sitting down first and then pulling her down in his lap and wrapping his arms around her snuggly.

"What are you doing here so early," he asked curiously. "I thought you needed to go and pick up some groceries before you met me this morning?"

"Actually," Marissa began tentatively, the happiness draining from her face and the tension returning to her body. "I can't go grocery shopping today and I can't stay here with you either."

Holding her, he could feel how upset she was. "What's going on; what's wrong?"

She didn't know why, but for some reason, she could not keep her emotions at bay and tears gathered in her eyes and fell smoothly down her face, her voice hitching as she spoke. "Gerry's home."

Those two words were all Ryan needed to hear in order to understand what was wrong, and his mood soon became as dark as hers.

"He surprised me this morning and just showed up, angry at Cooper's hair…"

"What did you do to Cooper's hair," Ryan asked, interested as he tried, in vain, to sooth her raging emotions by bringing her shaking body closer to his and comfortingly running his hands up and down her arms.

Smiling despite everything at her younger son's antics, Marissa turned around to face Ryan so she could look into his eyes as they talked. "He wanted to fix his hair like yours this morning, so I did it for him. Gerry didn't like it too well. Plus," she sighed, "he was livid about the house. I have to go home and clean all day; that's why I can't stay with you."

"Clean," Ryan pondered confused, "you're house is practically spotless."

"Not up to Gerry's standards," she answered, the bitterness creeping into he voice. "And the boys and I won't be able to hang out with you in the evenings because I'll have to cook him an elaborate meal and they'll have to follow his strict evening schedule, so they'll be in bed really early."

"Well, what about tomorrow," he pressed her, "you'll be coming to work with me tomorrow, won't you?"

"No," Marissa sighed ruefully, holding his arms around her chest. "I have to run his errands tomorrow, and, knowing Gerry, I'll have to do all of his laundry that he's accumulated from the past several weeks. It'll probably be a few days before I'll be able to see you."

"But….," Ryan's voice trailed off. It was not necessary for either of them to express what they were both thinking. Since the night they had first made love, they had spent at least a few hours together with every day. Neither quite knew how they were going to go the rest of the week without seeing each other, and it made the precarious situation they were in much more evident.

"We'll still be able to talk every night," Marissa said with a hint of hope in her voice. "I know it's not much, but it's better than nothing. He won't think anything of it if I go to my room after I put the boys down for the night. In fact, he'd probably prefer it, so we'll be able to talk for a few hours every night."

Resting his forehead against hers and kissing away the tears that were still making their way down her delicate cheeks, he spoke up, his voice raspy and rough. "It'll have to do then."

She got up out of his arms and stood, putting her hands back out for him to join her. Knowing she had to say goodbye, she started crying even harder, scaring Ryan slightly.

"Marissa," Ryan chided gently, "you can not go on like this. You're miserable. What are we going to do about this….about us? We need to come up with some sort of plan…..figure out what we want?"

"I want you." Startling him, she looked up and met his eyes, her voice suddenly clear and strong. "I didn't say anything, because I know it hasn't been that long, but I can't…..stay with him."

Hope rising, he stepped closer to her and let his arms find their familiar place around her waist. "What do you mean? Are you saying what I think you're saying," he asked her.

Not meeting his eyes, her self-doubt evident, she answered his question softly. "I've been putting money aside, selling jewelry like my wedding rings…"

"You sold your wedding rings," he interrupted her, surprise written clearly across his face. The simple positive shake of her head made him smile broadly and shock her in return by taking her lips in a greedy kiss.

His response bolstered her confidence to share with him all of her thoughts. "I'm saving the money, because…..well….I mean, if you want me to….I was thinking….," she stumbled over her words and then just spoke rapidly not even sure he'd be able to understand what she said, "courtfeesareexpensive."

She didn't even have a chance to watch his face for reactions, because, before she knew what was happening, he had lifted her up in his arms and was cradling her against him, kissing her desperately. They made their way to her car, and, somehow, he managed to open one of the back doors without breaking their connection and set her down gently inside, shutting the door after he had joined her.

Their clothes melted away rapidly under his swift and devouring hands leaving their bodies naked and eager. Blanketing her in the back seat, Ryan paused only a moment as he put on protection to whisper softly in her ear, "all I want is you, too," before entering her in a swift yet tender motion. Their pace was quick for they did not have much time, but the satisfaction they gave each other was immeasurable as they climaxed together mere minutes later in Marissa back seat.

Dressing rapidly, there was no time to cuddle afterwards, and before she knew it, she was on her way home to clean after sending Ryan back to work with a few final kisses and promises to call him as early as she could. True, she knew she would not see him for a few days, but the reassurance they had both gained from their intimate moments together left her glowing and smiling, confident in her relationship.

Her euphoria did not last long, and by the time Friday morning arrived, Marissa was on edge, the kids were miserable, and Gerry, although preparing to leave again for another prolonged trip, was in a terrible mood. The tension in the kitchen as the four family members ate breakfast was palpable, and no one recognized it more than Marissa.

Gerry was idly reading the paper as he waited until it was time to leave for the airport and the boys were silently eating their breakfast. Leaning up against the counter, Marissa sipped on a cup of coffee, counting the seconds until she could escape the watchful eye of her husband when she took her kids to school. Finally satisfied that no one would notice if she snuck away, Marissa silently excused herself from the room and crept upstairs to her bedroom where she pulled out her cell phone and dialed a very familiar number.

"I wasn't expecting to hear from you this early," his warm, pleasant tone carried across the line. "Gerry leave already?"

"No, he's downstairs still, but I had a favor to ask."

"Shoot," Ryan responded, intrigued.

"Well, I got an appointment today….with a lawyer, but it's for this afternoon, and I won't be done in time to pick up the boys, so I was wandering," Marissa's voiced trailed off slightly hesitant to ask him such a thing.

"That's no problem," he assured her. "It actually works well for me. The boys and I were due for some male bonding."

Laughing, she teased him, "should I be scared?"

"No," he played along, "and I promise to return them to you this evening in one piece."

"This evening?" Her tone showed her surprise. "Just what exactly are you up to?"

"It's a surprise, but I have to go," he added ruefully. "I just got to work, and I'll have to get started right away if I'm to pick up the boys at 3:00."

Voice gentle and soft, she spoke earnestly, "thank you."

"There's nothing to thank me for. So," he continued, "how about we meet you at my place at 7:00?"

"Sounds perfect; do you want me to bring dinner or anything?"

"We have it covered," Ryan guaranteed her. "See you then."

"Bye," and with that Marissa hung up her phone, a smile back on her graceful, elegant face.

Meanwhile, downstairs the boys had noticed their Mom sneak off and go upstairs, but they used her absence to their advantage. After silently fighting back and forth with their eyes, Cooper, the looser of their battle of wills, ventured a shy and quiet question towards his father.

"Father," he asked tentatively, "what are we supposed to do for Mommy's birthday?"

Gerry looked up a little confused. "When is it," he asked brusquely, not too happy that his son interrupted him from the business page.

"It's tomorrow," Garrett added in, feeling sorry for his younger brother and deciding he would help him out.

"Oh, I don't know," Gerry dismissed, going back to his paper, "make her a card or something."

The brothers shared an unspoken look of resignation towards their Mom's birthday and of hatred towards their father before getting out of their seats and taking their bowls to the kitchen counter. Putting them in the sink, they picked up their book bags and silently made their way to the car just as Marissa made her way down the stairs.

Leaving, neither Marissa, Garrett, not Cooper thought of saying goodbye to Gerry or to wish him a pleasant flight. All they cared about was that when they got back home, he would not be there.

Ryan stood outside of the Harbor Elementary School waiting for the two Carnahan boys to appear. Marissa had called the school to give him clearance to pick her sons up, but she had not told Garrett or Cooper he would be there, leaving it as a surprise for them, and indeed it was.

The boys saw him before he saw them, and before he knew it there were two young kids throwing themselves at his leg and giving him a fierce hug.

"Ryan, what are you doing here," Garrett asked breathless with excitement. "Did Mom send you so we could go to the park and practice that new pitch you're going to teach me?"

"Or did you bring Q so we could play with her in the park," Cooper interjected, his eyes full of humor, mischief, and mirth.

"Actually," Ryan began as he opened the passenger side door for the boys to climb in the truck. "we're going shopping."

Not surprising him, not two seconds after he answered them, two very distinct and loud voices rang out in complaint.

"Shopping," Cooper pouted, "I hate shopping."

Admonishing, Garrett told him, "boys don't shop, Ryan."

"Even if it's for their Mom's birthday presents," he asked them climbing into his own seat and starting up the truck. All he got for an answer were two small mouths gaping open. "What," he pondered, confused by their reactions.

"How…..how did you know that," Garrett finally stumbled over his worked to inquire.

"Why wouldn't I know when your Mom's birthday is," Ryan answered, "we're friends, aren't we?"

"Yeah, but our father didn't even remember it," Cooper explained.

Not wanting to let his loathing for their father show through, Ryan responded diplomatically. "He's a very busy man, so I'm sure he just forgot, but we didn't right?" The boys offered him smiles and nods to show they agreed with him. "So, we're going to go and buy her some presents and then make dinner at my house for a surprise. How does that sound?"

"Awesome," Cooper yelled, his excitement bubbling over.

Garrett, always more reserved and thoughtful than his brother met Ryan's eye when they stopped at a red light and smiled at him before speaking softly. "Thanks, Ryan….for being my Mom's friend."

Not knowing what to say to that, Ryan just wrapped his arm around the young child and pulled him to his side in a light hug before ruffling his hair and speeding off towards the mall. With Garrett, Ryan knew no words were necessary.

Eight hours later, three presents opened, a new bottle of perfume, a Shirley McClaine DVD box set, and a new, rare, imported rose bush for her garden, five salmon steaks eaten, four baked potatoes devoured, and half a birthday cake sliced, Cooper, Garrett, and Q were sprawled out on the guest bed Ryan had set up for them sleeping soundly as Ryan and Marissa lay in each others arms on the couch watching Terms of Endearment. Turning his head which was resting in her lap so he could look up at her, Ryan gently stroked the side of her face with a single finger.

"Sorry you birthday wasn't anything special, but I knew that you would want the boys with you and that we need to keep a low profile," he apologized softly.

Pausing the movie so that she could focus on the man lying in he arms, she repositioned their bodies so that they were closer together, their faces just millimeters apart.

"Don't you dare apologize for anything," she forcefully ordered him. "You might not believe me, and I don't know how I'll be able to convince you otherwise, but what you did for me tonight, this party the four, excuse me, five of us, I can't forget about Q, had tonight, it was the best birthday I've ever had. I can't imagine a single thing making it better, so thank you for that." Leaning down, she lifted his lips to hers by holding onto the tip of his chin, letting their mouths blend for just a second before they settled back down in the couch for a late night of movies and cuddling, the perfect end to the perfect birthday.