Chapter Three: Holy Water

(January 18th) And again, just so this is clear, I had to fabricate this trip to Hogsmeade, as it didn't occur in the books.

"Oh no" Hermione's stomach lurched and she pressed a hand tightly over her mouth. The vomit rose in her throat but had no where to go, it went back down. The taste left in her throat was acidic and bitter. The room was quiet, no one heard her gags. She quietly tiptoed to the bathroom, her hand still pressed firmly over her mouth. The second she got there she flung herself onto the toilet and retched. After, she wiped her mouth and quickly did a silencing spell on the room so that none of the other girls could hear her awkward noises. Hermione laid one side of her head on the toilet seat as the vomit came back. She knew that, counting back to the last time she and he had sexual intercourse, she was a month and a week pregnant. And so she would be having morning sickness, bloating, and nausea. She took a ragged breath as the vomiting seemed to subside. Her forehead was covered in a thick coat of sweat. She wiped it off with the back of her hand then decided to take a quick bath. There was no way she was going to go to class looking the way she did. She peeked out of the bathroom then quietly gathered her uniform and book bag. When she reached the portrait for the prefects bathroom, she softly gave the password.

"Morning glory," and the portrait swung inward. She stepped into the lightly lit room and quickly took off her clothing. She tried several taps, selecting a bit of gardenia scented perfumed water and bubbles, set on low. The pool filled quickly and Hermione sighed happily as she stepped into the bubbly warm water. Once she was up to her shoulders, she plunged in. She swam around a little and ended up floating on her back. She felt content and pleased. It was amazing the miracles that a good bath could do a person. She stayed in for about an hour before she decided she'd better get out. She dried her hair with a towel, Hermione was never one to tamper with her hair much. By this time some of the students were starting to wake up, everyone was excited to go to Hogsmeade today. Well, those that could. There would be an unlucky few with detention or perhaps their parents had forgotten to sign their forms this year. She started to dry her hair quicker then threw on her uniform. She was out of the portrait just as most students were gathering in the great hall. She spotted Ron and Harry immediately and walked over to them.

"About to leave?" she asked. Ron nodded his head and smiled warmly at her. He'd been very friendly to her lately.

"Yeah, hey, where have you been?"

"Took a bath. I've got to do some shopping on my own, you two don't mind if I leave you for a while, do you?"

"Where are you going? I wouldn't mind going with you," Ron told her, probably happy at the chance to go anywhere with her. It was obvious that Ron liked her right now, but Hermione wasn't interested at the moment. Any other moment when she wasn't pregnant with another mans child, she would have been thrilled, but as it happens, circumstances called for her to not get involved in a relationship.

"I've got to pick up some books, I thought I'd spend an hour or two looking." she said, knowing Ron detested it when they shopped for books, she took forever and never spoke, just read the backs of the books and took forever. Just as she hoped, he seemed a bit down and also repulsed.

"Uh, no- err, I don't think so. No offence, but you take a long time,"

Hermione chuckled and told him that she didn't mind going alone. She didn't add that she wanted to go alone because she was really going to buy a poison to kill the small child growing in her body. She didn't want to kill Ron with a heart attack.

"All on board!" Minerva McGonogall called shrilly as the carriages pulled up and everyone piled in. It never took them long to get there, and today was a clear day so they got to Hogsmeade ahead of schedule. Their professor went over the rules one more time before relenting and letting the student's roam on their own. Hermione apologetically split from Ron and Harry, telling them that she'd be back when she was done. She walked around a corner so that she was hidden from view and took out her wand. She was going to have to apparate there. It was dangerous, Hermione didn't have her license yet. But she had no other choice. She closed her eyes, and pop! Away Hermione went. The earth lifted under her and she closed her eyes out of dizziness. She felt like throwing up again, but refrained. She was at the entrance to Knockturn Alley. It was much darker and much more frightening than Diagon Alley. She shuddered, pulled her cloak tighter around her, and stepped in. The moment she did, she gagged. The air itself was putrid and made her want to vomit right there in the streets. She knew she was pale as she continued down the way. She glanced at the store signs as she walked by. She passed several unusual stores, some for shrunken heads and voodoo dolls, and other questionable items. Suddenly a man lurched for her out of the shadows and Hermione stepped back. He was missing an eye and the muscles of the open socket worked rapidly as his good eye lingered on her.

"What'sa purty gurl like yoursef doin out here? Want some com'pny?" he asked, grinning wickedly at her. Hermione straightened her back and looked at him in his good eye, trying to ignore the empty socket with the twitching muscles that made her want to vomit again.

"No, and if you touch me one time I will see to it that you lose your other eye," she spoke calmly and dangerously. The old man blinked at her than grinned.

"'Nother time then, luv," he said, then snickered and walked back into the gloomy shadows he came from. Hermione shivered and kept walking. She had just spotted the sign to the store when she saw someone leaving it. She quickly pressed herself against the nearest wall, so that she was covered in darkness. She recognized the girl leaving the store, it was Pansy Parkinson. What was she doing there? Hermione started to wonder, then chuckled coldly. Why was she herself here? Pansy must be there for the same reason. She wondered who Pansy had been with that got her pregnant. Probably Draco Malfoy. From what Hermione knew, him and Pansy were pretty close. She watched the girl leave with watchful eyes. Once she was gone, Hermione took a deep breath and walked into the store herself.

A bell sounded somewhere in the back of the store as Hermione opened the door. She was surprised at how little the store seemed to offer. A few decks of tarot cards, crystal balls, the place seemed like a legitimate fortune telling business. There was a beaded curtain enchanted to float temptingly over a doorway towards the back but- wait! Wouldn't it make sense to have the business back there? With nervous, shaky steps, Hermione walked over to the beads. She put her hands together, like for a prayer, and pushed them into the beads, then spread them apart, parting them. The red glittering beads closed behind her as she let them go. Yes, this must be the pace Madame Tamaya did her business. Potions were stacked in an organized manner on shelves across the small room. In the middle sat a round table with a velvet cloth over it, a crystal ball sat atop it. A velvet chair with some blankets sat next to the table, and a comfortable looking stool opposite the chair across the table. Hermione peered closer when, to her surprise, the blankets moved. A small African woman stared at Hermione from under a hood. She had multiple piercing- six on each eyebrow in the shape of little bones were what Hermione noticed first. She also had her ears pierced an uncountable amount of times, as well as a few through her nose and two on her lips. Curious looking tattoos were dotted across her face, giving her a mysterious and grotesque look. Her deep black eyes met Hermione's inquisitive ones and she smiled toothily at her.

"Set don, deah," she said, motioning to the stool across from her with her hand. The hand, was covered in rings and baubles. Hermione did so nervously, and then stared shamefacedly at the table.

"I heard, uh, that you could help me," she said softly. The woman looked at her and leaned closer to Hermione.

"Look into my eyes chil'," she said. Hermione heard the command and lifted her face to the older woman's. For a minute she was lost in the deep black eyes, then they blinked and Hermione felt some burden being lifted from her.

"Ya are wit chil'," she said simply. Hermione nodded her head, afraid that if she started talking she would cry. The woman took one of Hermione's hands in hers and turned it over to read it. Hermione did not protest, she did not believe in such things anyways and it wouldn't hurt to amuse the woman.

"Can you help me?" Hermione asked in a soft voice. Madame Tamaya's eyes softened and she traced Hermione's hand with one of her long black nails.

"Aye, I will help. Ya wanna be rid of it?" she asked.

"Yes,"

"Aye. Canna I ask why?" Tamaya asked. Hermione looked up at her, slightly confused. Was she trying to discourage her from taking a potion?

"Because I am young, I have much to do and I have a future. She would ruin it," she told her. The old woman noticed Hermione referred to her unborn as "she" but Tamaya already knew Hermione was with a daughter and not a son.

"Aye, and whatta de man?" she asked, referring to whom was the father. Hermione bit her lip and turned her eyes back to the table.

"I don't know. He doesn't know, and I am not going to tell him,"

"Luv'd him?" she asked. Hermione had to think about it before she answered. It was a question she had often asked herself late at night, one that made sure she could not sleep.

"No, I don't think so. It was lust. And I am sure he has no feelings for me,"

"Ah, an act of lust. Many many gurls come to Madame Tamaya wit their problems. Sum come to rid of chil', sum wanna luv potion for their man, but all come for my help. An' I give it to 'em. But only if theys really want it deep in their heart. I read ya palm, I see ya heart. You don wanna do dis," she whispered. Hermione stared at her in shock and shook her head. She tried to grab her hand back, but the woman held on firmly.

"No, I want to do this!" she half yelled. Madame Tamaya shook her head and held onto the girls hand. She waited until Hermione had calmed down before she spoke.

"Aye, if ya wish it," she said softly. She released Hermione's hand and walked over to her potions. She selected a very small green glass bottle. She handed it to Hermione and watched her. The girl took the bottle hesitantly. Once it was in her palm, it weighted heavily there. Hermione forgot the older woman's presence and closed her eyes. She was pregnant and about to kill her unborn child.

There was a child inside of her, growing. A fetus struggling for life, struggling inside of her body for the day that it would break free, then grow. Grow into a person, a human. Would she be a witch? Or a squib? She wondered what kind of a future her daughter would have. There was so much to think about. Would she tell her about her father? Would she keep her? Would she tell anyone? What would she do?

Hermione unconsciously laid a hand on her stomach, a gesture that would be frequent later on. She glanced down at the bottle, heavier in her hand. She was committing murder, she was killing a part of her. This child was half of herself, half of him. She would be the only proof that something had happened between Hermione and him. She was a product of their lust, should she lose her life for Hermione's mistake? Hermione pressed her lips together and then sighed. She handed Madame Tamaya the bottle back.

"I cannot do it. You were right. This child is a part of me, my mistake. I will not blame her for what I have done. I can't kill something so much of me,"

"You will have this child, and great things will happen because of it," Madame Tamaya said softly. Hermione did not notice the lack of accent, nor the sudden clarity in the woman's eyes. She was crying softly into her hands. Suddenly she stood up, she had to get out of there.

"T-thank you. I am very glad you helped me change my mind," she said, then walked quickly out of the room. The woman watched the young girl, already mentally a woman, walk out of the room. The girl had many hardships she would have to face, many trials and sorrow. But there would be much love afterwards. There was something told to all Gypsies (for that is obviously what Madame Tamaya was). A child conceived by enemies would bring about much greatness. It brought people together, it made peace. This child sired by Dragon and born by Lion would indeed bring about much joy.

----------

"You were gone longer than I thought you would be," Ron told Hermione as she caught up with him and Harry at The Three Broomsticks. She paled slightly, but neither boy noticed. She sat down causally beside Harry and pulled a fake yawn.

"I ended up getting sidetracked. Gosh I'm tired," she said. Harry looked at her with concern in his eyes.

"Do you want to go ahead and go back?" he asked. Hermione shook her head and pretended to sigh.

"No, you should have fun. I think I'll go ahead and head back though, I'll be fine," she said. Harry started to protest but she silenced him. "No, really, I'll be fine. You two have fun, okay?" They eventually relented and Hermione rode back to Hogwarts in one of the carriages, she told McGonagall that she was sick. The first thing she did when she got back was to go to the Girl's bathroom. Myrtle wasn't there, but then again, no one would see her for a while if she was. Hermione waited, and when no one came out, she figured she was alone. She sighed and set down so her back was to the sink. So many memories she had of this place. Not only were there memories of Him, but the Chamber of Secrets, and the polyjuice potion that Harry, Ron, and her had made in their second year. Hermione smiled, remembering. So many memories. The ones she remembered most however, were the ones of Him. She remembered the first time she had met him in here. He had been startled by her appearance, so startled that he was kind to her. Well, as kind as he could be. He had been crying, and she asked him why. She'd been in an argument with Ron earlier that day, she had come to cry herself. She didn't remember how they started talking, but they did. And then, he kissed her. She'd been so surprised she'd opened her mouth to say something. And of course that led to more things, which led to more things, which led to her being pregnant. She smiled and actually suppressed a giggle. It was so forbidden, so wrong. But that's why they both wanted it. It was deliciously satisfying to be with someone who was forbidden from you. Now, not literately, but socially the two were an odd pair. Unrealistic was perhaps a better word. But here, in this room, they were equal lovers. Sometimes after they made love, he would tell her about his dreams and fears. Those were the moments she loved best, when he would lay on her and she would run her fingers through his soft hair. She would kiss his eyes and watch him fall asleep. Then he would wake up, and they would go back to their lives. It hurt her some, but not as much as it should have. Hermione wasn't a fool, she knew there was no love there. It was lust, pure and simple. But she had to admit (and he would too) that they shared an emotional bond, though not love. He confided into her and she in him, and they were connected. But not now. They broke it off abruptly, their whirlwind affair ended as suddenly as it began. She could still remember the harsh things he said to her. He'd called her a mudblood whore and told her that she was nothing to him, and he was done with her. He'd called her a good lay, and tossed a galleon at her. She'd flushed the coin down the commode later on. It had hurt her so much, but she had never let on. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing her pain.

And now, she was bearing his child. Their child. Hermione wondered if she would look like him. When she looked into her daughters eyes, would she see him or herself? It was those questions that bothered Hermione the most.

What was she going to do? Hermione made a mental note to check out pregnancy clinics. She knew of a 7th year the year before who had gone to one when she was pregnant. Perhaps Hermione could go to that one. In the morning maybe, she was awfully tired now. She barley made it into the common room when the students started coming back. She was in bed when they actually came in, no one bothered her. She could hear laughter down stairs and she knew they were chatting merrily. Hermione buried her face in her pillow and sighed. She couldn't cry, she wouldn't let herself. Perhaps the pregnancy was making her so emotional. The other girls came up later on and they fell asleep rather quickly. It took Hermione a while to drift off, but tonight when she slept, she did not cry.

----------------

"Somewhere there's a stolen halo
I use to watch her wear it well
Everything would shine wherever she would go
But looking at her now you'd never tell

Someone ran away with her innocence
A memory she can't get out of her head
I can only imagine what she's feeling
When she's praying
Kneeling at the edge of her bed"

-Big and Rich Lyrics

I love love love love feedback. Everyone who has reviewed, I appreciate you so much! And for the courious ones who want to know about the father...well he won't play a huge rold of the story and won't really come up till the end. But you'll deffinatley find out who he is later. I've written up to chapter six so far, but am going to update weekly. It's easier for me so that in case I don't have time to write a chapter at some point, then I can upload one of my already written ones. I hope you like this very much and review :)