Chapter Six: Always on your side

(March 17th)

Hermione sighed and pushed her blueberry waffle to the side of her plate. She'd just polished off an incredibly large amount of food and felt positively ill. She had gained a total of twenty pounds since becoming pregnant, and felt like a whale. But the good thing was that no one else noticed her gain in the least bit, she'd made sure of that. Since she was entering her fourth month soon, she'd gone ahead and applied a concealment charm on herself. The result made her feel a bit more queasy- not in a morning sickness way, she was beyond that. The only proper way for her to explain it would be to say that it is sort of similar the feeling that one gets from running an incredibly long amount of time and getting nausea afterwards. The additional back pain- which to be honest, she'd been having for a while now, didn't help any either.

Needless to say, she wasn't feeling the least bit comfortable. As if she didn't have enough to deal with, being pregnant and all, she had Apparition lessons in Hogsmeade that day. Of course on top of that, she had Harry's odd obsession with Malfoy- becoming more and more concerning lately, and Harry's extra lessons with Dumbledore to think about. It was enough for her to just about decide to tell the world to bugger off and leave her out of it. But of course she restrained her irritation and frustration and managed to calm down. She was so immersed in her thoughts that she forgot entirely that Ron and Harry were across from her, until Harry said her name.

"Mmmhmm?" she asked him lazily, not really paying much attention.

"Do you think you'll be ready for your test? Since this is your last practice and all," he repeated himself. Hermione sighed and set her fork down, sick of pushing her food around on her plate.

"Of course. It's just an apparition test; it's not as if it's N.E.W.T.S or something. Why are you so pale Ron?" she asked, just noticing how bloodless and white Ron appeared.

"Why am I pale? Why am I pale!? Because I'm going to fail. I just know it. Even Fred and George passed, but I know that I'm going to fail!"

"If you think like that, of course you will," Hermione replied tartly. Ron gaped at her in disbelief at her lack of encouragement.

"How can you be so cruel?" he asked hurtfully. Hermione smiled and chuckled at his serious face.

"Oh Ron, this is only a practice! As for the test, it's going to be fine. You're going to pass then scold yourself for not believing that you would. Just be optimistic about it," she said.

Ron snorted and rolled his eyes, "Yeah. If you just believe in yourself it'll happen. Whatever. I'm going to die," he finished. Beside him, Harry scowled and furrowed his eyebrows crossly.

"At least you're going," he muttered quietly. Hermione instantly felt sorry for her friend. Harry would not be seventeen and so could not go to the practice with her and Ron.

She pulled her muscles into a bright smile, "Come on Harry, it won't be so bad. There'll be others who can't go. Maybe you can even find time to study or do some homework," she said, all too aware how fake her voice sounded.

"Thanks Hermione, I'm sure it'll be loads of fun doing my homework," he replied sarcastically, watching some of the sixth years getting ready to leave for Hogsmeade.

"There's no need for you to get all-" Hermione began but stopped, for Harry had sat up abruptly and his eyes were suddenly very bright and interested.

"Is Malfoy going?" he asked. Goyle and Crabbe were getting ready to go at the Slytherin table, but Malfoy was walking away from them and out of the Great Hall. Hermione thought about it and realized that the blonde Slytherin couldn't attend the practice because like Harry, his birthday was in the summer.

"Well, no, I suppose he isn't. Oh Harry you aren't going to and stalk him again, are you?"

"What if I am? It's a good opportunity," he said absentmindedly, staring at the retreating form of Draco Malfoy. "Hey I'll see you two later, have fun and don't get spliced," he told them. Hermione and Ron's eyes met- they rolled them and told Harry goodbye. Hermione noticed that Harry left in the same direction that Malfoy had previously. His recent obsession with the boy was starting to become quite concerning, and Hermione felt that it was downright unhealthy. She sighed and told Ron that she supposed they should follow the other students and start heading for the carriages. They had an entire day of apparition class ahead of them.

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"You did it!" Ron exclaimed to Hermione as they sat down in the Three Broomsticks to get out of the cold and have a cup of butterbeer. Hermione smiled as she took off her heavy coat and set it beside her, she did feel a bit proud. Several students had actually successfully apparated, but she was the first to do so. Ron hadn't made it at all, except one failed attempt when he spliced his nose and right pinky finger. He was pretty sore about it at first, but cheered up immensely when Neville left a leg and arm behind.

"I know, and you almost had it. You'll do fine when the tests come," Hermione replied. The two began chatting idly about the upcoming test when their waiter came and asked what they would like to have that day. Hermione immediately ordered a butterbeer, which had become her newest craving. Just the smell of it in the room made her mouth salivate. Ron declined a butter beer and ordered eggnog.

"Eggnog?" Hermione asked, surprised. She wasn't a fan of eggnog herself, the Christmastime drink had always made her feel a bit queasy.

"Yeah, they only have it in wintertime, but it's the best there is. Want to change your order for it?"

Hermione laughed and shook her head. "No, I'm not a fan really. But thanks."

"Alright, but you're missing out," he said. Hermione just smiled and sighed.

"Ron?" someone asked from behind her. Hermione turned around to see Parvati Patil in a heavy coat standing with a small scroll of parchment tucked in her outstretched hand. It took Ron a moment to realize that she had a letter for him. He looked up at her in puzzlement, not knowing who it was from. She handed him the letter then shrugged her shoulders.

"Lavender asked me to give it to you. She wouldn't come herself, she said you and Hermione looked plenty comfortable without her," she explained, looking slightly ashamed at her role as having to relay Lavender's message. Ron thanked her and raised his eyebrows in confusion at no one in particular.

"What does she want now?" he asked more to himself than Hermione, and opened the letter. She watched his face curiously as he read it, and wasn't surprised to see flickers of annoyance, anger, and defeat cross his features.

"Mad again?" Hermione guessed.

"Uh huh. Says that I may as well just be with you, I spend all my time with you, she never gets to see me anymore…the same old stuff. Except she mentioned some confrontation with you and Ginny when I was in the hospital. What was that about?"

Hermione blushed as she remembered the conversation and chided herself for being so immature, "It wasn't anything really, her and Ginny just had a spat and I was there."

"I figured she'd exaggerated. Why does she have to act so weird sometimes?"

"Because she doesn't like me," Hermione replied tartly, taking her warm butterbeer from the waitress who just appeared beside her with their orders. Ron must have been thinking intently, for he didn't say anything in the next few minutes. Hermione spent the time by stirring her butterbeer with her finger and watching people walk by the window lazily. She had almost forgotten about Ron entirely when he broke her thoughts with a question.

"What?" she asked, having not heard him clearly.

"Why wouldn't she like you?" he asked again. Hermione groaned and rolled her eyes. Ron was such a moron sometimes.

"She doesn't like me because we're friends and she think that we're shagging each other when she's not looking," she said, not even registering the widening of Ron's blue eyes or the way his mouth snapped open and he stared at her. "What?" she asked at his gasp.

Ron fumbled with his straw and blushed furiously. "Nothing," he mumbled, incapable of meeting her eyes. His mind was reeling frantically, trying to block out the very tempting image of himself and Hermione shagging. Hermione hardly noticed his discomfort. She tilted her butterbeer to her chin and drained half of the delicious drink in one gulp. She failed to notice Ron staring at her in a very odd expression, but she did notice the two boys entering the pub. Her eyes immediately darkened and her blood ran cold.

"Let's set over here, far from the mudblood," snarled Bliase Zabini as he and two other members of the Slytherin house walked near to Ron and Hermione. He narrowed his dark eyes and raised his head slightly so that his high cheekbones stood out on his thin face as they passed the two Gryffindors.

"Sod off, Zabini," Ron grunted angrily. He eyes Blaise and stretched his hand toward his left pocket, where Hermione was sure his wand resided. She sincerely hoped that he wasn't about to do something stupid.

"Say's who?" Zabini goaded Ron. He was in the mood for a fight, Hermione had the feeling he was trying to get Ron to respond with his wand. She felt her stomach clench and she knew she had to stop them both before a dual broke out in the middle of the pub.

"He's not worth it, Ron," she pleaded, hoping that Ron would ignore their company. Ron didn't seem to hear her, he was glaring at the Slytherin's with more hate than Hermione thought he could muster. He drew out his wand slowly and leveled it at Blaise dangerously. Hermione gulped and felt the room spin. This couldn't happening, not now. The smell from Ron's eggnog, which she just noticed, filled her nostrils and gave her the dangerous urge to puke. Vile tasting stomach juices pushed themselves up to the back of her throat. She pressed her hand to her mouth, begging it to stay inside. Just as Ron began the beginning movements to hex the black Slytherin, she could no longer restrain herself. Hermione flung her hand from her mouth and puked. Blaise's eyes widened and his mouth opened unconsciously in repulsion and surprise.

"What the-? Did you just bloody barf on me?" he asked, disgusted and revolted. He stared at the mess in horror and then fear. "Is the mudblood sick? What if I get sick? Oh hell! I don't want to be near something so disgusting and disease ridden," he spat acidly. He marched from the pub with a scowl and frown on his face, terribly offended that someone whom he considered of inferior breeding had contaminated him with her filthy germs. Hermione started laughing, then covered her mouth as another wave of nausea passed over her. Ron, who was just plain confused at the moment, stared at her. Finally it came to him that Hermione had vomited, and concern immediately etched itself across his warm features.

"Are you okay?" he asked tenderly. Hermione nodded her head and waited for the urge to vomit to pass. After a while it did and she took a deep breath.

"I'm fine, just felt a bit queasy for a minute is all,"

Ron wasn't buying it and touched her forehead softly, "Well I think we should go back to Hogwarts. The carriages will be leaving soon anyways, no one will mind if we leave a bit earlier," he told her. He helped her to the carriages and watched her with concern and tenderness as they road back.

"Oh Ron, stop looking at me like that! I'm fine," she swore, annoyed by Ron's over attentiveness. He made a face and sighed.

"I was just concerned is all. What's the matter?" he asked. Hermione felt frustrated, nauseated, and she had a banging headache. She told Ron the only thing she knew would make a male stop pressing a female for questions. She hated to resort to it, but she had no other choice. It wasn't like she could tell him she was pregnant and just saw someone who very much made her feel unpleasant.

"I'm on my period," she said bluntly. Ron's jaw dropped and he blushed furiously.

"I didn't need to know that!" he said, horrified. Hermione smirked and Ron no longer pressured her on their way back to Hogwarts. It was amazing the powers a woman had by talking about her menstrual cycle.

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Hermione and Ron were both greatly relieved to find the common room deserted when they stepped through the Fat Lady. The fire was crackling merrily and Hermione smiled softly as she plunked herself down into one of the red couches in front of it. She sank into it slightly, but she didn't mind. Her feet were terribly sore, as was her lower back. Not to even mention her breasts. The comfortable couch was a heavenly relief for her. Ron watched her for a moment, perplexed at her happiness, but nonetheless pleased with her good mood. He grabbed one of the characteristic Gryffindor quilts and sat beside her, throwing the quilt over them both. Hermione gave him a grateful look and snuggled deeply into the covers.

She remembered many nights like this, her and Harry staying up late to contemplate one of their many adventures, or to do homework. Those were her favorite memories- the ones of her here with Harry and Ron. Not all of her memories were light and happy though. Why there was that one night they stayed up till one (horridly late in Hermione's mind) being horrified and scared because they knew Hogwarts might close. It was sort of sad how many of their memories together were sad ones. Voldemort had robbed them of an innocent happy childhood. Sometimes Hermione felt as if they had all grown up much too soon, Harry especially. And of course, now herself.

She wondered for perhaps the hundredth time since she had found out she was pregnant, what her friends would say if they knew. She had faced Voldemort, death eaters, giant snakes, possessed wizards, and multiple adventures with them where they risked their life's; but could they face the fact that she was pregnant together?

"What are you thinking about?" Ron asked Hermione suddenly. Hermione broke from her thoughts like a dolphin breaking to the surface of the ocean and took her eyes from the hypnotizing fire and onto Ron's face.

"Oh nothing really," she replied. Ron frowned and looked at her carefully. Whatever she'd been thinking about, had been bothering her terribly. He could tell because her shoulders had been tense, her eyes sad, and her forehead crinkled. Hermione didn't know it, but Ron could read her sometimes like a book.

"Something's bothering you. You've been acting odd all day. Does it have anything to do with Zabini earlier?"

Hermione looked at him sharply and tried to drain her face of the different emotions that crossed her face when he mentioned their encounter with Blaise. "No," she said and shook her head. Ron wasn't buying it, however.

"What is it then?" he persisted. Surely it wasn't just because she was on her period, he knew it was something more than that. The way he was looking at her, with such sincere concern in his eyes, made Hermione relax a little bit. Something about Ron always seemed to soothe her. She wished she could tell him, she really did, but she couldn't. She just couldn't.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked her again, this time softer. Hermione shook her head and turned her head away from his. Something made her want to tell him everything. She could start with how it all began in December, and tell him the whole story. She would feel much better if she just told someone. It hurt her more than she thought it would to keep the secret from him and Harry. The words, the story formed on her lips. She bit her traitorous lips thin to keep them from screaming her tale. No, no, no! She couldn't. He would hate her, she couldn't bear that. She could feel Ron's eyes on her and forced herself to relax. Relax relax relax….she chanted in her head. Finally her shoulders dropped and her neck muscles slowly released. Ron watched this in puzzlement. Hermione turned to him and smiled brightly.

"I'm fine, Ron. It's just been a long day. I actually think I'm coming down with a bit of a cold. Do you mind if I go ahead and go to bed?"

Ron frowned, he knew she was lying. But who was he to pressure her? "That's okay, go on and go to bed. I'm going to stay up a bit longer."

"Well, goodnight then. Tell Harry I said goodnight too when he comes in," she told him, stepping out from the warm blanket and sending a draft of chill air under it. Ron shivered and watched her go up the stairs to the Girl's dorm. He was about to stretch out on the couch when he noticed a letter beside where Hermione had been setting. He picked it up; it was addressed to her. Not wanting to pry, but wanting to find out if perhaps it held a clue to whatever was wrong with her, he carefully opened the letter. Hermione had not read it yet so he had to carefully melt the wax seal so that he could pry it open. He folded open the letter and scanned it's contents quickly. It was from Krum, he was apologizing for something…it really didn't say much. Besides that he wanted Hermione back. Ron rolled his eyes and tried to ignore the hard knot inside of his stomach that came with the possibility of Krum and Hermione together. He carefully closed the letter again. It was best for him to forget the letter all together, lest he drive himself mad. He resumed his stretch and laid out on the couch, tossing the letter to the table on the other side so Hermione could read it in the morning. Ron sighed and tried to contemplate the motives and actions of girls. However soon he began to doze, and in no time at all he had drifted off to sleep. Beside him, the warmth of the fire had caused the seal to soften and open. The letter unfolded itself slightly as the pressure released. Neat script covered half the page.

Dear Hermione,

How are you? I cannot explain properly how sorry I am for my actions. I behaved immaturely and sincerely hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I didn't know what a good thing I had when I let it go. I was wondering if you would like to visit me and my family this summer? To make up for my actions earlier. And to perhaps build a new relationship. I miss you very much and hope to hear from you soon.

Love always,

Viktor

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"Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But your demons and your angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought you'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' me so many questions all these years"

-Sheryl Crow Lyrics

I am so sorry I didn't update last week- I was really busy with my schoolwork and didn't get a chance. I'll try to have a second update this week to make up for it :)