Intertwined

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this. Well, except for the plotline and some of the secondary characters.

A/N: I probably would write responses to the lovely reviews I received, but I don't think that's allowed. So tell me if you want me to respond to a certain review you wrote, and I can send a message to you via the messaging system. Okay, that's all. Let the show begin! (By the way, I hope this was a timely update. After the long wait between Act VI and Act VII, I was sure many of you readers had given up.)

Act VIII

Intro

onstage

Eriol giggled as he dropped the banana peel onto the floor.

Dreamer and all of the backstage crew were celebrating Yue's recent freedom from the confining wheelchair. He had also gained back his ability to speak, so this celebration was double the joy and relief. Yet there was one person who did not feel an ounce of joy...well, you guys can probably guess who that person is.

Eriol dropped the another banana peel onto the floor and began giggling uncontrollably. He stuffed his fist into his mouth and effectively blocked out the sound. Then he slowly retreated backstage to where dreamer and the rest of the crew were waiting.

offstage

"Isn't it just wonderful, Eriol?" Nakuru gushed, with a huge grin on her face and large hearts in her eyes.

Eriol managed to nod mechanically. He was afraid he would burst into laughter again.

Dreamer eyed him suspiciously but chose not to say anything. "I hope Yue will enjoy being in the spotlight again," she said.

Eriol smirked like a Cheshire cat. "Oh, I'm sure he will," he said, his eyes slit-like.

Dreamer eyed him suspiciously again, but chose not to comment.

Just then, everyone burst into applause as the man of the moment, Yue, swept into the backstage area, clad impressively in...

Neon yellow and glittery pink?

Everyone immediately looked down at the floor, shocked by Yue's flamboyance.

"Erm...Yue?" Dreamer broached cautiously, squinting her eyes to look at Yue in all of his magnificence.

Yue smiled horribly. "Yes, playwright?"

Dreamer continued to squint her eyes. "Um...interesting fashion sense."

Yue looked down at his costume. "Oh yes, I'm currently exploring a new avenue of fashion. Since it's my first day back since that DEVASTATING INJURY (and here he stopped to glare at Eriol, who had the grace to look ashamed), I've decided to come back with a shocking bang. Wonderful, don't you think?"

Dreamer smiled awkwardly. "Yes, Yue, whatever you say."

Yue smiled importantly and flounced away, his six petticoats bouncing up and down.

The backstage crew was left in shock.

onstage

"Ladies and gentleman, it is I, Yue, who have recently recovered from a most grevious injury. I--hey! Wh-wh-what the hell?"

The backstage crew clapped their hands over their ears when they heard a loud, feminine shriek coming from the stage.

For Yue had slipped on the 503 banana peels scattered carelessly all over the stage. Had he chosen a less flamboyant and awkward garment to wear, he might not have ended up in the hospital with a broken hip bone and a motley collection of bruises.

Yue was confined to the wheelchair for another few months.

And guess who took over Yue's job?

Eriol swept off all of the banana peels near the podium and beamed into the spotlight. "The Eighth Act of Intertwined will now begin!"

End of Intro

Syaoran woke and sat up, feeling groggy. He rubbed a lump on the back of his head and squinted his eyes, groaning slightly.

"Finally! Now you're awake, you bastard."

Syaoran turned his head towards the source of the noise.

Sakura was sitting at the kitchen table, smiling smugly. A spoonful of an unappetizing multicolored mass was halfway to her mouth.

"What the hell is that?" Syaoran sat up. His emerald eyes narrowed.

Sakura smiled again. Syaoran felt irritated. The smile was starting to become vaguely annoying...

"Don't worry your purty little head over it, YaoYao. It's a lovely mixture of Vitamin B, Vitamin A, and Calcium tablets. Oh, and how can I forget? I've also added some dried apricot, prunes, and pickles. Of course, everything is held together by some lovely Granny Joe's syrup. Want some?"

Syaoran cautiously advanced to the mixing bowl and peered into it. The tablets and dried fruit were swimming in the syrup, creating horrible lumps of colorful balls.

"Um...no thanks," Syaoran said, backing off and vaguely fearing for Sakura's sanity. Well...at least she's eating vitamins. That can't be too bad...

Sakura smiled and stuffed the spoonful into her mouth. A dollop of syrup dripped from her mouth as she spoke and fell onto her shirt. "No problem, dearie," she said. Only it sounded like, "Whoa women, rearing."

Syaoran raised an eyebrow but stared at Sakura's chest. "NOOO!" he cried, grabbing the huge balls of cotton with his hands.

Syaoran stopped as he felt the cottony springiness in his hands. He then ripped Sakura's shirt off and pulled off her bra.

White cotton fluff flew into the air.

"So..." Syaoran smirked evilly as he watched the fluff settle on the floor.

Sakura gulped.

"I, my friend, am going to go through a major makeover."

-----

Sakura paced impatiently in front of the door.

Syaoran had locked himself in the bedroom and refused to let Sakura in.

She sighed and chewed her fingernail. She didn't even feel like eating the lovely mixture of fruity candy, syrup, and Jolly Ranchers anymore. Idiot, she thought, momentarily smirking as she thought of Syaoran's gullibility. He thought they were vitamins and dried fruit...he's so dumb.

Her smile quickly fell off her face when she realized that Syaoran was still in the bedroom and going through an extreme makeover.

"Oh Kinomoto..."

Sakura whipped her head around.

Syaoran stood in front of her, wearing a large trenchcoat.

"I'm ready to go find those magicians, Kinomoto."

Sakura eyed him suspiciously. Then she immediately saw through his disguise.

"Open up your coat."

Syaoran's eyes widened.

"Do it. NOW!"

Syaoran made a puppy dog face and shook his head.

Sakura reached his side in a minute and opened his coat.

Syaoran was wearing a hot pink string bikini.

Sakura closed her eyes and counted to 200.

"Go back in there and change, or else I'm going to take a walk outside. Naked."

-----

After Sakura had made sure that Syaoran was properly attired in a large white sweater and baggy pants, they set off for Old Tokyo.

Syaoran was driving the car and he was behaving quite well, but that only made Sakura even more suspicious. He had a secret little smile on his face that she recognized as a sign of misbehavior...or something even worse.

They had been driving for about an hour when Syaoran suddenly swerved off the road and onto a smaller one. Humming slightly, he turned into a large parking lot.

"Hey," said Sakura, looking at the large supermarket that stood in front of them, "this isn't anywhere near Old Tokyo. There's still another fifteen minutes to go, baka."

Syaoran nodded but hurriedly ran out of the car, yelling over his shoulder, "Bathroom break! Bladder is killing me!"

Sakura rolled her eyes and shouted after him, "Don't look!"

Then she leaned back in her seat and growled. "Women," she said, shaking her head. "So much liquid sloshing around in their bowels."

-----

After waiting for fifteen minutes, Sakura had had enough. She strolled out of the car and into the supermarket, looking around. Sighing, she ventured timidly over to the crappy romantic fiction section.

"SYAORAN LI. I REPEAT. SYAORAN LI. REPORT TO THE FRONT DESK IMMEDIATELY. YOUR MOTHER IS VERY WORRIED."

Sakura jumped when she heard the cool female voice blare on the supermarket's sound system. Mother? But mine--then Sakura was off, running for the front desk.

"SYAORRRAAANNN!"

Sakura's jaw dropped.

Syaoran, or what seemed to be Syaoran, was running/waddling towards her with arms outstretched. The funny thing was, Syaoran now looked to be about fifty years old. What's more, his pants were now plump and sagging with the weight of...flab, and her sweater was also packed to the maximum with...flab. Sakura's eyes wandered to Syaoran's chest and she groaned mentally. Syaoran's chest was large...and sagging.

She braced herself for the sudden impact but felt none. Instead she felt something squishy on her body. She stepped back, shocked.

"Oh, Syaorrraannn," Syaoran said, smirking as he slobbered kisses all over Sakura's face, "don't you ever do that to Mommy again, Syaoran. I told you to wait outside the bathroom while I went in to fix my bra, but when I come outside, you're gone! Did you leave because a stranger offered you candy? Don't follow strangers with candy!" He spanked Sakura's rear end slightly.

Sakura stood still, shocked as Syaoran stroked her hair. He smiled to the personnel standing, amused, behind the Customer Service desk. "Syaoran is a special child," he said, smirking. "He wet his bed last night! Imagine, a twenty year-old man wetting his bed! And he also poopoos into a diaper. An economy-sized diaper, of course. A baby diaper would be too small for my Syaoran, wouldn't it?"

Syaoran ruffled Sakura's hair affectionately. Then he held her hand and pulled her towards the girl seated behind the Information desk.

"You know, I was have the worst body odor and breath in the morning. Just this morning I was speaking to my little son here when he suddenly said to me, 'Mommy, your armpit smells like my doodoo! Mommy, your breath smells like bad milk. Mommy, maybe you should brush your teeth.' Can you imagine? He's the sweetest child, but sometimes his humor is quite hurtful."

Syaoran pulled out a handkerchief spotted with Barbie dolls. "You see, my employer fired me because I had too much cellulite. He said he wanted prettier girls to play with, but I'm pretty, aren't I?"

The salesgirl smirked superiorly and nodded.

Syaoran stopped sniffing and folded the handkerchief. Then he smiled at the Barbie dolls on the handkerchief. "Awwn, my little Syaoran here loves his Barbie dolls, right Syaoran?"

Sakura stood frozen.

"He likes to make them put on dresses and go-go boots. He's been obsessed with them since he was four years old," Syaoran said, the very image of a proud mother.

The salesgirl smiled and said, "Would Syaoran like a lollipop for being a good boy and coming to the front desk?"

Syaoran smiled and grabbed the lollipop from her hands. He stuffed it into Sakura's mouth. "Take it. It's your favorite flavor, Syaoran. Cotton Candy Pink."

Then Syaoran smiled even wider and patted the shoulder of the salesgirl. "Say...how about we go out tonight, baby? I want some body heat."

The salesgirl's eyes widened and stepped away from the old-looking woman with a sagging body and chest. When Syaoran touched her hand, she shrieked and slapped his chest by accident.

Unfortunately, she had slapped too hard, because a yellow stain began spreading onto Syaoran's sweater. Also, it looked as if one of his...chest protrusions had gone down considerably. It was extremely strange to see a woman with only one sagging...thing.

Syaoran smiled weakly and grabbed Sakura's hand.

"The eggs broke," he said, by way of explanation, and the two ran out of the building.

Customers who had witnessed the extraordinary event stared at each other.

"God, I swear. Those two are a pair of fuckin' lunatics," one man said, shaking his head.

-----

Sakura popped a marshmallow into her mouth and turned left.

"Comfortable?" she asked, smiling sweetly.

"Mmph..." Syaoran said, having been bound, gagged, and thoroughly silenced.

Sakura threw the last empty bag of marshmallows into the backseat and burped.

"That plan of yours was ingenious, Syaoran. But I think I'm even more of a genius, right?"

Syaoran nodded mutely.

"Stuffing your baggy sweater and pants with marshmallows and balloons was a good idea, but I figured you out in the end, dearie. And putting eggs into my Wonderbra! Goodness, you're becoming more and more feminine with each passing hour."

Syaoran could only roll his eyes.

"You know, maybe you have a future career as makeup artist. Those wrinkles you drew on my face really did make you look sixty years old."

Syaoran shrugged.

"Okay, here we are, in Old Tokyo! Now what do we do?"

-----

"Um...excuse me?"

Sakura tapped the shoulder of a black-haired man.

"What!" he snapped, irritated.

"Do you happen to know where the Magicians are?"

He gave them the once-over, the pointed silently down the road.

"Thank you."

The man grunted in response.

Syaoran trotted glumly after Sakura. "Damn...I hate this place."

Sakura trod on his foot. "Not so loud, buster."

Syaoran's eyes resembled Brock's (from Pokemon). "But they keep pointing that way! We're going to be traversing the entire Old Tokyo if we don't be careful."

Sakura grabbed his face close to hers and hissed, "I'm willing to do that if it means I get my body back. In case you didn't notice, Li, your body sucks."

Syaoran tutted loudly. "Well, you're beautiful, aren't you?"

Sakura raised her nose in the air. "As a matter of fact, I most certainly am."

Syaoran rolled his eyebrows. "You walk too much like a woman. Stop swaying your nonexistent hips."

"Yeah? Well you should stop walking like a horse. Your back keeps dipping up and down. Exude your feminine beauty..." Sakura sashayed off down the road, wiggling her hips and batting her eyelashes.

She stopped short when she heard an approving whistle. "Man oh man, you have got quite an ass!"

Syaoran froze as well.

A blue-haired man wearing sunglasses and a large gold chain was staring at Sakura's rear end. "Yo, you available?"

"Erm...no?" Sakura said, her voice squeaky and high.

"You don't sound very sure," the blue-haired man said, looking out at her from above his glasses.

"He is sure," Syaoran snapped, giving the man a hard look.

The blue-haired man grinned. "Yo, are you like her dominatrix or somethin'? You're quite cute also. I'd do you if I weren't attracted to the same sex."

Syaoran looked quite green. Sakura mustered her courage and said, "Sir...umm...do you happen to know by any chance where the Magicians are?"

The blue-haired man's engaging demeanor suddenly dropped like dead flies. "Now why would you want to know about them?"

Syaoran eyed him, having detected the quick change in his manner. "Do you know something more than you're letting on?"

The blue-haired man smiled.

Syaoran clutched at Sakura. The blue-haired man looked freaky smiling.

"I know you," the blue-haired man whispered quietly to them, "and I know what you have to do to get back."

The two of them stood still, wrapped in an embrace.

"Learn to love the one you think you detest, and all will be well."

He turned quickly and walked away down the street, moving faster than either Sakura or Syaoran would have warranted.

-----

Outro

onstage

Eriol ran onto the stage and ripped off his shirt.

"Yeah, you like that right!" He jumped up and down. "You know you love me!"

The audience whispered at the sight of Eriol's hairy chest. None of them had ever seen a chest covered with blue hair, so it was quite an educational experience.

End of Outro

offstage

Dreamer: So, new chapter? How did it go?

Eriol: Did you like my cameo? Huh, huh, huh? Didja?

Dreamer: wacks Eriol on head with a mallet Shut up, you bum. You aren't getting any pay for 6 months after what you did to Yue.

(Eriol saunters off, saying Awww...)

Dreamer: clears throat Sugar highs and cravings in the next chapter! Oh yes, to Avelyn Lauren, thank you for your suggestion. It never occured to me, thick-headed as I am, to do that. I probably will in a couple of chapters...we'll see.