Intertwined
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AN: All right, I'm not going to make any excuses. However, I will say that I was ill with a slight case of pneumonia, vacationing in China, attending an SAT program, and busy with regular homework. So basically I haven't updated this thing for a very long time; whatever. I don't have a lot of inspiration for this thing right now, and the added pressure of school is going to cut severely the amount of time I spend on fanfiction. Also, I will be focusing more on my two new stories. Check them out.
Act XII
Intro
It was raining backstage.
Crewmembers wore ponchos and Suppi-chan sneezed constantly, while Kero stuffed food down his throat at the rate of 25 chocolate cookies in 15 seconds.
It was, of course, Yue who was causing the storm. He was currently screaming at the top of his lungs, while dreamer was attempting to tame Suppi-chan's fur.
"And you, dreamer!" Yue roared, "How dare you let Eriol announce the 12th act? Have you no idea how much I ADORE the number twelve?"
Dreamer snapped, over the roar of the wind and rain, "If you don't stop this bloody storm right now I'm going to fire you!"
A silence fell over the assembled cast. Suppi, who had been wailing over the state of his now ratty dreadlocks, closed his mouth went wide-eyed with shock.
Dreamer continued in her no-nonsense tone. "That's right, I'm going to fire you if you keep this going. You've been nothing but a pompous liability from the start. And," she said, anticipating Yue's outburst, "I know what you're going to say. You're going to start whining about how Eriol should be fired instead of you. But Eriol's a child, Yue, and you are not. How about acting your age for once?"
Yue said nothing. He merely closed his eyes and folded his wings.
---
(Back onstage, where the action is…)
Syaoran ruffled around in the refrigerator. Touya was still out cold, and Tomoyo was still tending to him.
After the disastrous events of the past hour Syaoran thought he deserved a break. Listening to Kinomoto yelling at him was no treat; he rather thought his eardrums would never be the same again.
Mmm…pickles, Syaoran thought. Then he looked at the can of cocoa and the jar of Nutella. Awwwww…but I want some of that too!
Syaoran pouted, then felt tears welling up in his eyes. How can I possibly have pickles, cocoa, and Nutella all at once though? This dilemma is killing me…should I ask Tomoyo for advice on this matter? No…she wouldn't understand…no one understands me! I have no friends…nobody likes me…
To his utter horror, Syaoran felt tears trickling from his eyes and down his cheeks. He became frightened instead of angsty and emo. Huh? What's going on? Did I just cry over…food? WHAT? The last time I cried was when I was five! What the bloody fuck is going on???
Then he looked at the food and felt teary again. (Sniffle sniffle) How come the world is so unfair? Huh? HUH???
Then, in a flash, Syaoran had the most brilliant idea…
---
Ding! The oven timer rang.
Syaoran opened the oven door and checked on his masterpiece.
Ah…it's finally ready! Syaoran stared down at the mess he had created with delight.
He picked up the can of cocoa and sprinkled a large amount of the powder onto his dessert/disgusting things.
Syaoran had, with his most inventive and absolutely brilliant mind, created one of the most delicious combinations in the world. By mixing Nutella together with pickle juice, solid pickle, and blue cheese, Syaoran had, arguably, introduced a new evil into the world. (The playwright congratulates anyone who can look at such a creation without vomiting.)
Syaoran picked up a Nutella-pickle-blue-cheese-cocoa-powder cookie and bit into it.
One bite and Syaoran was in heaven; it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. He devoured five cookies in less than a minute and decided he wanted more.
This time he finished five cookies in less than half a minute.
Although the cookies were the best things he had ever tasted, Syaoran decided to share the wealth. Of course, he wanted most of the cookies for himself and was ready to fight for them, but it wouldn't hurt to share one with Tomoyo and Touya…
---
Tomoyo yawned. Touya had finally finished the soup and was sleeping peacefully. Tomoyo took one look at his face and was convinced he no longer needed her.
She tiptoed out into the hall and closed the door quietly. Then she braced herself for the inevitable confrontation ahead…
---
Syaoran was still staring at the cookies and wondering whether he should give more than a crumb to Tomoyo when she suddenly opened the door.
"Hello, Tomoyo!" Syaoran said brightly. "I was just wondering where you had gotten to. I wondered whether you would want to eat one of these things…" He pointed at one of the cookies.
Tomoyo stared and prevented, just in time, her eyes from popping out.
One of the most disgusting things she had ever seen was lying on the table. No, there was more than one disgusting thing, there were more than five disgusting things on the table. The disgusting thing was brown and covered with a light blue/white moldy thing. Brown powder dusted the top of the thing, and light greenish gray things were poking out of the brown mess.
"Uhh…" Tomoyo was at a lost of words, most uncharacteristic of her.
Syaoran beamed. "I know, aren't they just absolute gems? They're nothing compared to you, of course, but they're still beautiful. Would you like to try one?"
"Umm…no, thanks," Tomoyo was horrified. The disgusting things were actually meant to be eaten?
Syaoran beamed even more. "I knew you would be nice and not eat any, Tomoyo. But still, I saved ten of these for you. Originally I baked thirty and was intending to eat them all, but I decided to be generous. Come on, Tomoyo, eat them…they're really good!"
Tomoyo backed away. She could not even look for long at the disgusting things, much less eat one of them.
"Ehhh…" Tomoyo sweatdropped when she saw Syaoran's eyes being glazed by a layer of tears.
(sniff sniff) "Are you trying to say you don't want to eat them because I baked them? Do you…do you not like me? (sniff sniff) I can't believe this…I have no friends! Nobody likes me! I hate being a woman!" Syaoran was about to sob when Tomoyo quickly intervened.
"What are you talking about, Sya-Sakura, I would LOVE to eat one of these!" Tomoyo quickly grabbed one and gobbled it up.
Syaoran smiled through his tears. "Well, Tomoyo it's fantastic, isn't it?"
Tomoyo smiled thinly. "Yesh, ish grea…" She quickly backed away from Syaoran and ran towards the bathroom.
"Hehe…" Syaoran smiled. She was probably going to tell Touya about his marvelous invention…
---
Syaoran stared, astonished.
There was a huge dark patch forming on the seat of his pants. It looked horribly red, like blood—no, Syaoran thought, don't be ridiculous.
He went to the bathroom and closed his eyes, pulling his pants off and sitting on the toilet.
He looked down and screamed silently.
The bottom of his pants were, indeed, wet with blood…
The blood drained from Syaoran's face. He was going to die…
---
After leaving a note for Tomoyo and stuffing the seat of his pants full of toilet paper, he quickly left the apartment and began walking to the bus station. There was a light drizzle. Syaoran waddled quickly towards the station, feeling more of the blood trickled into his toilet paper stuffed pants.
He waddled into the bus shelter, wiping water from his face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. Oblivious to the stares of the people around him, Syaoran leaned against the wall of the shelter.
"Mommy…" a little girl said, pulling on her mom's sleeve, "why does that girl have really fatty legs and a really skinny body?"
There were snickers of amusement all around. The girl's mother coughed, and said, "Well, dear, I don't really know."
Syaoran rolled his eyes at this exchange. I'm about to die, little girl, and all you can do is criticize my fat? Besides, my legs aren't fat, they're just stuffed with toilet paper…
Then the bus came rolling along, and the people began to get on. Syaoran groaned when he looked at the crowded bus.
---
After having his fat, toilet paper butt poked, prodded, and pinched by several men and a few women, Syaoran was raging mad when he got to his old apartment. In case they didn't know, he was going to die…
He rang the doorbell a few times, hoping Kinomoto would get the message and hurry up…
"All right, all right, I'm coming…" he heard her grumble vaguely.
He caught one glimpse of Kinomoto's shocked face when the door opened, and then it quickly slammed.
Syaoran groaned again. "Listen, Kinomoto, this is a life or death matter. Your body is dying, and I have to switch out. Right away!"
No reply.
Syaoran stamped his foot, then felt tears coming to his eyes. "Kinomoto," he said, voice cracking and eyes becoming wet, "I am going to die. If this happens, then you die as well."
After what seemed like a long time, the door opened.
Syaoran stared at Kinomoto.
"Come in," she said tonelessly.
---
"Now, Li," she said, sitting down across from him in an armchair, "perhaps you should try some anti-depressants if you're feeling suicidal—"
Syaoran sat up sharply. "I am not suicidal! Listen, you're dying! Your body is dying! There's freakin…blood leaking from your…butt!"
Sakura sat up immediately. "WHAT?" she asked, her eyes wide.
"You heard me," Syaoran snapped, "your butt is leaking blood!"
Sakura gasped.
She ran to the wall and began hitting herself on the head, saying, "No. NO. NOOO!!!"
"Yeah, I know! I'm about to die…" Syaoran began sniffling again.
Sakura gritted her teeth.
"You're not dying, you idiot."
Syaoran stopped sniffling.
"You're just having your period."
---
Yue was still hunched despondently backstage, not caring that Eriol had delivered the outro with audiences laughing uproariously.
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