Wings for Mitsuki
>>Renzie>> Finally, Chapter 8 :) Thanks for all of your wonderful feedback which helped me to write(once again). Lately I've been gathering an obsession for the movie Rent. Has anyone seen it? It's so moving! I strongly suggest you go and see it. Like...right now. Well, after you finish this chapter of Wings for Mitsuki :) Those of you lurkers who are wandering about, please don't be shy to review! Happy reading, everyone!
>>Disclaimer>> Don't own it, don't own it, don't own it, don't own it...
>>Note>> I replied individually to everyone who reviewed the last chapter(Or at least those with a pen-name). Check your inboxes, guys :D You're all so awesome! And thanks also to the anonymous reviewers like Angel Sakura, Chibi Ame, and Takuto Lover!
Chapter 8: Developing Feelings
Sunlight streamed through the apartment windows, illuminating the entire room. An adolescent girl opened her hazel eyes with hesitance. Squinting into the light, she found that her eyelids were heavy from crying so much. Mitsuki lifted a finger and delicately tucked a stray hair behind one ear.
She was in the living room.
That much she knew for sure. The heater was broken, and the room was at a standard temperature. So then why was her left hand so...warm?
Mitsuki's gaze trailed down, but her cheeks flushed to see another hand entwined with her own...Another hand that belonged to Takuto.
...Takuto. Mitsuki's breath became tangled, as her eyes trailed up to his sleeping face. He looked so peaceful there -- beautiful and content. For the first time in a while, she noticed how handsome he was. The warmth of their hands together sent shivers all the way up to her shoulders.
... Had the two spent the night that way? It would certainly explain why their hands were linked so closely. And why he was sleeping right... beside her. Mitsuki couldn't remember falling asleep, let alone reaching his apartment. The last thing she remembered was walking along that empty street, feeling alone and together at the very same time.
In that moment of remembrance, certain things came rushing back to her. The movie, the street lights... Eichi. A series of feelings stirred up inside, but the girl pushed herself to reject them. No more thinking, and certainly no more...crying.
'Even if Eichi was the one who taught me how.'
Mitsuki let her eyelids drift to a close, calming her nerves from confusion. She realized her hand was still entwined with Takuto's. But oddly enough, she did nothing to change it. Instead, the girl leaned her weight into his side, feeling desperately confused.
Lately, she seemed to be feeling that way a lot.
Mitsuki felt the tears forming behind her eyes too, but she quickly forced them shut. Because if she opened them, all of those feelings...all of them would spill out. Everything up until now had been bottled inside her, locked tight inside her heart. But now...could she really help it after all this time?
Mitsuki thought for a while, but it wasn't a question that needed answering.
Silently and carefully, she let the tears soak into his shirt.
-
Dear Journal,
I haven't written in here for a while, have I? Sorry that things have been getting in the way of my writing...
It seems I'm going back to the Shinigami World. I haven't been there for at least a week... wonder if anyone's missed me. I suppose Hinako would, being the way that she is. Sakamura...? I doubt it.
Do you think there's such a thing as reincarnation? I mean -- I became a shinigami after death. But do you suppose there was something before my human life...? Life before life? ...If there was, I must have done something horrible... You see, all these bad things are happening to me, and I can only blame them on karma.
The reason... just that, the other day I saw Eichi. God, could you blame me for hurting? Or shaking? Or... crying? Or clutching onto Takuto's hand the entire way back?...It was nice though, even though my heart was aching. The feeling of his hand against mine was sensual enough to make me dizzy...
I'm always like that. Always flustered, always embarrassed. I'd be lying if I said 'occasionally.' It's just...when I'm with Takuto, I forget about my past. I forget about death. Sometimes I even forget about Eichi... It makes me believe, if only for a second, that things will be okay.
Don't worry...it's alright if you don't understand. It's impossible to put these feelings into words, I know. But when I'm with Takuto, I feel so...alive.
It's almost...ironic.
-
-
Mitsuki opened the door to her room, finding it unlocked as usual. Hinako was sprawled out on the couch, holding an open magazine above her head. She had a pensive look on, but it changed as soon as Mitsuki came into view. The tiny shinigami jumped in surprise, squealing in delight at her friend's appearance.
"Kyaa! Mitsuki, what are you doing here? I thought you were staying in the Human World for at least another week! At least!"
The girl smiled, greeted by one of Hinako's infamous power hugs. "Well, things happen, you know?"
"Eh? Things? What kind of things?"
'...Things like meeting up with your former love... Things like crying yourself to sleep.'
Mitsuki twiddled her fingers. "Just...things, you know?"
"Yea, yea. I know what you mean," Hinako assured, clutching onto Mitsuki's arm. "But anyway, anyway! I found something that you're absolutely gonna love. I'll give you two -- no, three guesses! Ready, start!"
Mitsuki tried to keep the grin off her face, but failed miserably. "Ahm...let's see. Is it...a million dollars for my spending pleasure?"
"Honestly, girl. Do I look that rich?-!"
"No? Thennn...is it...tickets to a movie?"
"Aye, no!"
"Of course!" Mitsuki snapped her fingers. "Another Friday night carnival?"
"Yes!" Hinako grinned, showing off all of her teeth. "Well, close enough... It's on a Wednesday this time. God knows what those people were thinking. Honestly, Mitsuki... Carnival Wednesday?-! It just sounds too funky to me."
Mitsuki giggled. "Oh Hinako. It's the same thing, you know..."
"Yea, well...hopefully they'll change it back to Friday. But...you are coming, right?"
"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Mitsuki said with a considerate smile.
"Great! Then lemme get you your ticketttttt!" Hinako skipped over to her night stand and shuffled through the loose papers. "Eh? I could have sworn I put it here... No?"
The tiny shinigami leaped over her bed and shifted through every drawer. She began to mumble incoherently, fingers weaving nimbly through the books and pages. "Where could it -- Aha!"
Hinako lifted a folded piece of paper in the air like a champion. And in a sing-song voice, she chirped, "Foooounnnddd it!"
Mitsuki inhaled sharply, coming to the realization that it might just be...
Hinako lifted the flap, but Mitsuki consciously led her eyes astray. The father away she was from that paper, the better.
The buoyant grin of Hinako's face faded away, and she winced in her mistake. "...Oops. I guess this isn't...the ticket. Mitsuki, have you looked at this yet?"
"No... No, I haven't." Mitsuki glanced around the room, pretending to be interested in every little detail. The truth was, she didn't want to make eye contact with Hinako. She was afraid of what her sharp friend might discover.
"Why not? Don't you want to open it...? I mean -- you went out of your way to get it, right?"
The adolescent girl dropped her gaze. She had gone out of her way to get it, but... The thing was, she wasn't all that sure anymore.. Oh God, who was she kidding? Mitsuki had known she would never open that paper... -- ever. And she had also known from the moment she had met Takuto, that... it would take a lot more than courage to retrieve his soul.
Much, much more.
Mitsuki felt her heart pounding inside her chest. Why was it she felt so...so strongly about this? Why this? She looked up slowly, and her tentative yet solid voice whispered, "...I don't want him to die."
Her roommate went deadly silent at Mitsuki's words, the only noise in the room being the low humming of the fan. It was almost unnerving, being stared at so intensely. Like an ant underneath a magnifying glass.
"...You don't?" Hinako paused, and realized how stupid the question was with a shake of her head. "You don't... Of course you don't." The shinigami caressed her forehead. "But Mitsuki... Is it that you don't want to take someone's life, or that you don't want to take his life...?"
"...I think both."
Hinako swallowed, keeping their gazes in a lock. "And...why is that?"
"Because..." Mitsuki faltered for a while. Because he's important to me. Because...I don't know what I'd do without him. "Because I..."
"Love him?"
Mitsuki stared Hinako in the eye, processing the words very carefully. "...What did you say?" She was on the tight brim of blushing and the words 'I don't love him' were leaning tensely on the slope of her tongue.
So why was it the words wouldn't come out?
"It's okay if you do," Hinako said, a weak smile playing on her lips. "I know what I said before, that...a shinigami and a human aren't allowed to be together. But Mitsuki, the rules don't apply when you're in love. There's no way to control our feelings...you know? I know that is so over-used, but don't you think it's true? ...It's not our fault that we fall in love, and it's not yours either, Mitsuki. Honestly, it's not anyone's..."
There was still time to deny it, Mitsuki thought. There was still time to deny Hinako's words. But as she saw a flicker of sadness that flashed across Hinako's eyes, Mitsuki was quickly distracted. She couldn't help but get the feeling that...something was wrong.
Something was terribly wrong.
"...Hinako...?"
"I'm serious, Mitsuki! ...You can't go on like this." Hinako's fingers began to tremble lightly, though they were hardly noticeable against her eyes, glassy with tears..."You don't owe anything to anyone. Whatever happened in your past is gone now... It's done. It's over!" Hinako gave a pained smiled, her voice lowering. "You're allowed to be... happy. It's the only thing you can do now."
Mitsuki watched, unsure of how to feel. She had to ask --... No. It was so insensitive...so insensitive to Hinako's feelings! But still, she...
"So then...what about you?"
"...What about me?"
Silence filled the air once more. Mitsuki didn't know how to follow up on her own question, but it seemed that Hinako did.
"You mean what..." Hinako's voice dropped down to something barely audible, as she whispered, "...what happened in my human life."
-
Riiinnggg...Riiinnggg...Riiinnggg...Rii --
"-- Hello?" Takuto pressed the phone to his ear, still groggy from just waking up.
"Ah. Takuto?"
"Hm...? Yea...that's me."
"Hey! This is Kyouhei. You know -- from your English class?"
There was a slight pause before Takuto replied. "Oh...oh, yea, I remember." He ran five fingers through his bangs, secretly trying to recall this 'Kyouhei.'
"Are you okay? You don't sound so good," the voice said from the phone.
"Nah, I'm fine. Just didn't get very much sleep, you know?"
"Oh...and why's that?"
Takuto glanced towards the couch, as thoughts from the previous night clouded his mind.
He knew she was still emotional, especially since the wet spot on his shirt smelled suspiciously like tears. They had walked all the way home, he and Mitsuki. Even though she had passed out on the street and he had to carry her home like a princess, the scent of her tears was branded into his mind.
"Takuto?"
"Oh, sorry about that," he said, snapping back into the conversation. "Uhh...I just had a lot of homework to do."
"That's it! That's what I was calling for." The boy laughed on the other end. "Our English homework. Do you know what it is?"
"Oh yea, of course." Takuto repeated the homework to his classmate(whom he still couldn't remember, much to his regret), and hung up the phone after exchanging goodbyes.
Poetry. That had been their assignment. Slowly, a light smile brushed against Takuto's lips as he remembered. Mitsuki had once tried to help him interpret a poem too. And even though it had taken forever, the two had walked through it until the end. Or stumbled, really. But the important thing was, they had achieved their goal together.
Takuto stood silently at the counter. Where had Mitsuki gone, anyway? He glanced at the fridge, but was only greeted by empty magnets and blank spaces.
She hadn't even left a note.
Suddenly, a burning pain seared away at his throat. It happened in an instant. Takuto coughed violently, clutching onto the table counter. This wasn't the first time, but...he certainly hadn't gotten used to it.
The boy grabbed a bottle of water, and drank as much as he could. The water helped, and the coughing had subsided... but only for then.
He couldn't help but think back to the music store. Back to that shadow in the corner of his room... Back to his guitar. Back to what could've been, but what now would stand as impossible.
Takuto flexed his fingers, staring blankly at the wall ahead. He knew something was wrong. And as much as he tried to deny it, he couldn't help but think that his time would soon be up.
I was reading back on this entire story, and I realized that my chapters jump from comical to depressing. I mean -- constantly. It's annoying to me, even though I'm the one who wrote it all. Hahaha! About now, I'd say we're...a little more than half-way done with this story. Bring out the cake! There's still a lot of kinks that I need to work out, but basically, I have a big chunk of the ending written already. The only thing I need to do... is get there. :)
>> Reviews make for a very happy Renzie :D