Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.

Bayman squirms around in his uncomfortable high backed seat, sitting next to Jann Lee on the loud and crowded, slow moving bus heading for the Tri-Country city of Basel. The smells of unbathed European flesh is acrid and Bayman is pretty sure the crying, soiled baby behind him isn't wearing a diaper and/or smeared its present on the back of his seat. There is one occupant on the bus that catches his attention however. In the seat directly across the aisle, next to the far window sits a tall, long legged blond with the most gorgeous massive, voluptuous...eyes...he has ever seen.

"Pssst, hottie?" Bayman calls across the aisle, holding onto the edge of his seat as the bus bounces up and down on the uneven, mountainous terrain, "Hey!" Bayman waves his hands wildly, attempting to attract her attention, but the woman continues reading some woman's magazine about self independence and the empowerment of women or some such rubbish, "Psst! Oprah's ridiculous ideals can wait, I'm trying to tap!" Bayman continues his wild display unsuccessfully.

Jann Lee looks over and elbows Bayman in the side angrily,

"Dude, shut up, you trying to get us kicked off? Sexually harassing adult women that aren't teachers could land young men like us in serious trouble."

"Yea, I'm trying to land in something all right." Bayman cackles as he continues waving his hands, but to no avail. He turns towards Jann and looks down at the boy's pocket and sees some sort of folded paper sticking out.

He thinks shortly of the repercussions of looking gay by reaching down there, but that busty chick is more important, "I'm borrowing this!" Bayman snatches the paper away and crumbles it up with the quickness before Jann can grab it back.

"You bastard, I need that!" Jann reaches over, but Bayman hauls back and launches the paper ball across the aisle, smacking the woman in the forehead.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" The beauty transforms into a beast as she spins towards Bayman with rage in her fire red eyes and her mouth curls into a snarl, allowing sharp fangs to be visible. Bayman almost wets himself, frozen in fear and Jann quickly turns towards the window,

"Wow, these Swiss Mountains sure are something, huh?"

"I...I...I..." Bayman stammers, thinking fervently for an answer as the woman scoots closer to the edge of the seat.

"I'M GOING TO FEAST TONIGHT!" The woman growls and Bayman imagines the woman's normal form saying that, but its still terrifying. He just aint into that SnM freaky-deaky stuff. He quickly looks to the seat behind the woman and an idea floods forth,

"I'm sorry, mam, I was aiming at her." Bayman points to a teenage girl behind the beast and the girls blue eyes light up with some sort of hope.

"Me? Really? You were trying to get my attention, big boy?" Bayman looks at the girl again and decides she's not too much on the ugly side. Her nose is a bit big, and she looks like she might be one of those 'free-thinkers' but he's desperate.

"Uh yea, cutie, all the way." Bayman answers and the beast woman begins to calm down, but Jann has to step in with his non-sense.

"You mind if I get that paper back?" The beast growls loudly and grabs the paper and tosses it down her throat, swallowing in one gulp.

"Ya know what, never mind." Jann turns back around scowling and Bayman sighs and begins to face back forwards, but the teenage girl quickly leaps diagonally from her seat onto Bayman's lap.

"The hell?!" Bayman gasps from the added weight and the girl smiles wickedly at him, almost psychotic with those eyes,

"I think I might just be in love with you, you big hunk of man."

"Listen, I just needed a distraction, I didn't mean what I meant." Bayman explains indifferently and the girl's eyes widen.

"You were toying with my emotions?! No one toys with Hitomi!!" The girl grabs Bayman around the neck with her powerful, calloused German hands. Bayman loses all breathe immediately and he reaches over and grabs Jann's arm, but the Chinese boy pulls away laughing,

"Serves you right, Gayman." Bayman growls, knowing that he should never have reached down there. His face pales as Hitomi continues to strangle him, but Bayman is able to muster a few strangled groans out.

Hitomi leans closer through intrigue,

"What did you say?" The bus driver turns around for a quick second,

"Sounds like he said 'There's still a chance to save Han', but thats just me." He turns back around, barely dodging a semi and Hitomi loosens her grip.

"What you say?" She asks again as Bayman coughs air back into his lungs,

"I said I wanted to do the sex dance with you mom!"

"Boy, you stupid." Jann says from beside as Hitomi sends a barrage of slaps into Bayman's face, sending blood and spit from his mouth and tears from his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" Bayman yells as he is accosted and scratched with fake press on nails, "Someone save me from the second coming of Hitler!" Hitomi dives her teeth into Bayman's neck, sending a strangled yelp from his throat, "And she's a vampire!"

"Beg, bitch, beg!" Hitomi cackles, Bayman's blood dripping from her mouth.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, please let me live!" Bayman cries out and Hitomi halts the attack and stares deep into his eyes,
"You mean it?"

"Yes! I think you're beautiful! That brown hair is like...a waterfall...of chocolate?" Bayman clears his throat as Hitomi throws her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Oh, you do love me!" Bayman looks over at Jann, desperate for assistance,

"Help me! This bitch is crazy!"

"Huh?" Hitomi tilts her head, looking back at Bayman and he laughs uneasily,

"Nothing, baby..." Hitomi plants a kiss on Bayman's cheek and returns to resting her heavy head on his shoulder, leaving little white specks on his shirt.

"This shit is South Pole!" Bayman says angrily and Hitomi turns back towards him, a promise of another attack behind her eyes if Bayman don't repent and he laughs again nervously, "But who cares about Black people shirts?"

"Basel Airport!" The bus driver yells out as he slams on the brakes and Bayman and Hitomi both slam forwards into the metal driver's cage in a violent crash. Jann looks over excitedly, but curses as he sees Bayman languidly recover. He looks down at the unconscious Hitomi and crosses himself ten times and does about ten Hail Mary's and praises Zeus, and all those other guys that have spat on him all his life.

"I may have wasted my one divine intervention, but it was worth it!" Bayman says happily as he stands up and brushes dandruff from his expensive-ass shirt. All the other passengers file out and Bayman finally steps out into the aisle and bus driver smiles at the boys,

"Sorry about your pops, but press on with your lives and become something special! Like doctors or scientists, not violent brutes who fight for money and fame."

"Of course not." Jann promises as he steps over Hitomi's body and jumps down the bus steps.

"Oh, there's an unconscious chick back here. At first, you might be tempted, but once you check out that face, you'll change your mind." Bayman warns as he begins out and the bus driver shrugs,
"Meh, I got fifteen minutes before my next departure."

"You'll wind up on Dateline in tears, Sexual Predator Edition...with Chris Hansen...watched by millions?" The driver perks up with a hopeful smile,

"I can get on TV if I have relations with her unconscious body?"

All of a sudden fearful, Bayman backs away cautiously, jumps down from the bus and runs at full tilt to Jann who is already walking towards the large airport.

"Oh wait!" Bayman halts in his tracks before they reach the entrance and Jann turns around with an awkward glance, "The airport is actually on French soil. Doesn't that make you feel dirty?"

"I feel dirty anytime I'm around you." Jann turns back around and continues walking and Bayman cringes and rolls up his pants legs. He then finds two discarded trash bags and wraps them around his sneakers.

"Ugggh." He gags as he steps into the loud and bustling airport.

Jann barely dodges a business man, wreaking of gallons of Axe, probably attempting to mask the smell of foreign hooker from his person. He looks around at the directory, hoping to find the proper gates for Asian Flights.

"So what flight we getting on?" Bayman asks, announcing himself with the crinkling sounds of the trash bags.

"Well some dumbass through my itinerary at some beast bitch so now I don't freakin know!" Jann raises his hand to strike, but stops, an ingenious plan snapping into his mind, "I got it."

"Huh? What?"

"You're no stranger to the immoral side of living, right?" Jann asks and Bayman raises an enormous eyebrow,

"Whatchu mean?"

"We need to find Japanese people who have already purchased their tickets and shanghai them! Then we just use their tickets."

"We're going to Japan?" Bayman asks confused and Jann sends his fist into the boy's face, sending him hurtling into a trashcan,

"Look for some damn Japanese people!"

The boys set out on their mission, sneaking surreptitiously through the busy airport, seeking out folks wearing Kimonos or eating nasty-ass egg drop soup, or sneak attacking other countries. Jann Lee rolls under a seat and army crawls across a waiting area as he spots a young man sitting alone, holding a Sudoku puzzle book. Jann smirks and rubs his hands together and leaps towards him. The man's eyes widen as Jann tackles him from his seat and pins his face into the carpet,

"Japanese?!" Jann asks angrily and the man groans out an answer,

"Que'?"

"Don't try and lie! Spanish peeps can't do Sudoku puzzles!" Jann demands and the man holds the puzzle out and Jann notices that he was using the pages from the book to make paper rafts. Probably some sort of escape plan.

"Damnit!" Jann lets the man up, scowling,

"Uhhhh, sorry."

"Que'?"

Jann brushes himself off, grumbling as he walks back towards the main lobby of the airport and spots his stupid ass partner at the food court, stuffing his face with half eaten, discarded food. He growls loudly and rushes across the airport and launches himself across the room and knees Bayman in the face, sending him flying backwards into a table, knocking it over and sending French people running in terror, holding up white flags and/or white napkins.

"Get back to work!" Jann Lee yells and Bayman wipes mayonnaise covered fries from his hair and nods his head. Jann Lee rushes off and Bayman pulls himself up and looks around and spots a couple of perfect candidates. He bolts away from the food court and catches up with two well endowed flight attendants,

"Hello ladies." Bayman uses his most charming smile and the two beautiful young women turn around,
"Oh Bonjour."

"Oh God! My ears!" Bayman turns around and runs away, slipping and sliding on his trash bag clad feet. He catches a glimpse of a young man with slanted eyes and smirks, sliding to a halt. He turns around and tackles the teenager, pinning him to the ground under his girth,

"Give me your ticket, Jap!" Bayman yells furiously, and receives an elbow to the mouth for his trouble,

"Bayman, you idiot!" Jann Lee squirms from underneath with a warlock rivaling scowl.

"Sorry man, I can't tell the difference! Slanty eyes, black hair, little pen--"

"Say it! Say it mutha f'cka and you'll lose your tongue!" Jann Lee draws his arm back, but Bayman turns and flees squealing. He doesn't know for how long he runs, but he finally stops, winded and takes a seat at a waiting area in front of a gate. He leans his head back on the seat and looks over at the two little kids sitting next to him.

A splitting grin overtakes his face at seeing their distinct Asian features, pretty much just the fact their eating noodles, but Asian none-the-less.

"Hi, kids." Bayman says with his most comforting tone and the boy looks up nervously, "You're not flying alone are ya?"

"Mommy and Daddy said we were ready." The boy answers in a soft tone and Bayman erupts in devious cackles,

"Mommy and Daddy didn't anticipate you two running into Bayman, five time heavy weight champion of Tether-Ball." Bayman rises up, trying his best to look daunting, flexing his fatty deposits to resemble something like muscle and grins sinisterly.