As the school week started, the news of the incident quickly spread through the 9th grade.

Everyone was, of course, totally impressed.

"WOW, Cartman", a very surprised Clyde remarked, "You had SEX?"

"He's bluffing," Bebe Stevens quickly retorted, glaring at the fat boy.

Tweek jumped to Eric's side and glared back. "N-No way, y-you psycho bitch! Cartman w-wouldn't lie about THIS!!"

As the crowd gathered around him, Eric just grinned wickedly and nodded to his admirers. "Yes, yes, I did in fact have sex. Now don't push, you can all touch me and hope that my greatness will rub off on you." All his peers crowded in closer, trying to touch him. Well, this plan had worked perfectly. Eric was thoroughly satisfied with himself. He was way too much of a genius sometimes.

That's when something caught his eye: Kyle.

He was just standing at the end of the hallway with Stan, giving Eric a very dirty look. Cartman grinned wider and waved mockingly at the Jew, who flipped him off and walked away. Eric cackled madly. Dumb Jew… He should be living it up! Kenny had the right idea, as he was walking down the hall with each arm around the hip of a very attractive girl like the little pimp he was. He winked at Cartman as he passed, and gave one of the girls a slap on the ass, sending them both into a fit of giggles. Kenny the whore… has a nice little ring to it, Eric thought, then turned his attention back to his admirers.

As the day wore on, Eric was becoming more and more puzzled by Kyle's actions. He wasn't bragging! He hadn't said a THING all day about how he got some! But why? Even Stan had shoved that little fact in Wendy's face. But Kyle had said nothing. It bugged Cartman to no end. Stupid goody two shoes Jew, always feeling guilty when they do something awesome…. There was no reason to this time! They'd done nothing wrong, and no one was ever gonna know about it, unless HE told… And for his sake, Kyle better NOT tell. Cartman snuck a peek at him from his seat in the back of the classroom. Kyle was hunched over his notebook, probably writing a note to Stan about something obscene and hilarious and they'd both snicker quietly before the teacher turned around. Those two were always doing shit like that, and it bugged Cartman immensely. He didn't know WHY either. Maybe it was because he'd never been close to anyone like that; he'd never really had any true friends. It was no secret that Stan and Kenny only tolerated him, and Kyle outright hated him. Usually, the fact that he had no friends didn't bother him, but then he'd glance at the "married" couple, and he'd get jealous all over again.

After class let out, Cartman could stand it no longer. He walked over to the unsuspecting Hebrew and pulled him away from Stan, soliciting a yelp of protest from the taller boy. He shoved Kyle against the lockers roughly and glared. "What the hell is your problem, Jew?!", he whispered, ignoring most of the odd looks his classmates were giving them. Kyle just glared at him, refusing to say anything (or maybe the wind had been knocked out of him. Cartman didn't care). He shook Kyle harder. "Why is it that every time we get any sort of bragging rights, you always have to sulk and act like a douchebag, huh?!"

Kyle shook his head. "Maybe it's because I know what we did was wrong, and I don't LIKE doing the wrong thing!!" He pushed Cartman back roughly and fixed his ushanka. "Maybe I actually have some kind of conscience, unlike SOME people."

Cartman narrowed his eyes. "You're just a no-good goody two shoes sonofabitch JEW, that's all."

It happened so fast that it didn't even hurt for a few seconds. He hadn't seen Kyle's fist fly out and connect with his jaw, but he toppled on to the floor and groaned slightly. Kyle loomed over him, shaking with rage. Cartman managed to look up just in time to see Kyle pull back his leg and deliver a swift kick to his stomach, making him cry out in pain and dry heave for a few seconds. The crowd of people around them had grown considerably, and some had begun to chant "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Regaining his composure, and a great deal of his rage, Cartman pulled himself to his feet and lunged at Kyle, knocking the two of them over. He swiftly pinned the object of his rage, and began pummeling the shit out of the damn Jew, whose hands had found their way to the fat boy's neck and was choking as hard as they could. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Stan making his way through the crowd yelling something, but he was too engaged in the fight to hear it. It was getting hard to breathe now. Cartman grabbed both of Kyle's hands and held them to the ground, and grinned slightly. Victory was his, he could FEEL it!! Kyle writhed and struggled under his weight, and glared at Cartman, cheeks flushed from effort. Through all his struggling, his beloved ushanka had fallen off, revealing the "Jew-fro" he tried so hard to hide.

Suddenly, Cartman couldn't move.

He didn't know what had come over him. Kyle looked the same as he ever did, still the same obnoxious waste of a human being, and yet somehow…. Cartman couldn't look away. His enemy seemed different now, more…. Well….

"The fuck are you staring at, fat ass?!"

He wasn't even aware of what came out of his mouth. "Your lips, Kyle. They look good enough to kiss."

It suddenly got dead quiet. Kyle gave him a look of utter repulsion. "Excuse me?!" He pushed Cartman off of him and backed away slightly. Some of the crowd started muttering and whispering, and Stan just stared at the two of them.

Thinking quickly, Cartman started laughing hysterically. "HA! You should've seen the look on your face, Kyle! Sweet Jesus, that was priceless!!" He held his sides and fell on his back, rolling around in his glee. Kyle growled and responded with a swift kick in the nuts and stormed off, Stan in hot pursuit. Kenny sauntered over (where had HE been in all of this?!), and proceeded to laugh at the whole ordeal. "Damn, dude. You REALLY got your ass kicked." Cartman didn't respond back with much more than a "Screw you guys", but he wasn't laughing anymore.

What HAPPENED back there?

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A/N: Short, I know. But college demands all my energy.