Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.
As soon as the plane lands at the outdoor depot in Beijing, the occupants don't waste any time in fleeing from the scene, flailing their arms and screaming wildly into the air. Some praising Buddha for allowing them to have survived the crises, and then some cursing at the Deities of the Heavens for allowing such a monster to escape from Hell. Jann Lee stumbles down the ramp wearily, half asleep and not remembering a thing.
"Oh dude, I need an Aleve the size of a--" Jann is bumped by a fleeing woman, clutching her wailing baby close,
"Oh no, I touched him! I'll be struck with Leprosy! Someone save me from this fate!!" She yells, rushing into the throng of people and Jann looks up confused,
"The hell is she talking bout?" He swivels to where to Bayman stands to his left, looking over askance.
"You mean you don't remember?" Bayman questions suspiciously and Jann shakes his head, only causing his headache to grow worse. He coughs into his hand, and then sniffs and almost gags,
"Is this...alcohol? Bayman, was I drinking?" Jann asks stumbling onto a wooden bench near the street.
"You may have had a few, yes..." Bayman answers as the plane explodes in the distance and both Bayman and Jann leap to the dirt ground in surprise.
"Just what the hell happened up there?!" Jann yells and Bayman grabs him by the collar of his shirt and shakes him hard twice,
"The airplane was taken hostage by a psycho, dammit! But the important thing is that no one important was killed, so we move on with our lives!" Bayman releases him as Chinese firefighters rush towards the scene, but a woman warns them.
"Don't come any closer, the Devil's son himself walks among us! He breathes fire! We need the Ghost Rider!!" She runs off screaming as a middle aged couple come running to the blaze,
"Oh no, our Hong and Yi! We don't see them! Someone please help us find our children!" Bayman looks up nervously and clears his throat, not wanting to hesitate too much.
"Uh, Mr and Mrs Chang?" Bayman springs to his feet and pulls a small airline booklet from his pocket, flips it open, and then closes it quickly, "I'm part of the Airline's Special Forces." The two Chinese parents look towards him intently, "Young Yi and Hong are probably the luckiest Chinese children in the world right now since they weren't on that plane. Half these boys will become serial murderers and the girls will probably hit the pole, and hard. These people have been traumatized in the worst way."
"So where are our kids?" Mrs. Chang asks desperately and Bayman adjusts his shirt before continuing,
"Unfortunately, Mr and Mrs. Chang, your kids had to be taken into custody at the airport. They were uh...trying to smuggle an illegal...uh, Basel Ferret onto the plane."
"Oh no!" Mr. Chang clutches his heart and Mrs. Chang grabs a hold of his hand.
"Yea, the law is iron-clad, I'm sorry. But if you go talk to the pilot then--"
"Oh god, the Pilot's dead!!" The co-pilot yells out from the conflagration and Bayman clears his throat loudly,
"If you talk to the co-pilot I mean, they'll get everything sorted out." Mr and Mrs. Chang shake Bayman's hands through relief and smile,
"Oh thank you, so much, sir! What was your name again?"
"Uhhh...my name? It's uh...Spartan. My name's Spartan."
The Chinese couple rushes off and Bayman exhales deeply and plops down on the bench where Jann is still sitting, slumped over and snoring,
"I'm so going to hell." Bayman rests his chin in his cupped hands to attempt to think of the next move until Jann wakes back up as a handsome young man in an expensive, purple Chinese suit walks over towards them. His hair looks silver in the sunlight and his expression is pure determination and drive.
"We're you all on that plane?!" He asks through the utmost concern and Bayman nods his head, "Well thank Buddha that you all weren't harmed!"
"Oh but weren't we?" Bayman asks disinterested and the man smiles widely,
"Well then thank him that you're alive! Listen to me, boys, I'm a Divine Prophet like Muhammad or say, that other guy, Paul or Peter, one of two. Listen! You must throw away all desire in this world!"
"I'm
not interested, really." Bayman attempts to turn away, but the man
leaps with such grace back into his vision,
"Do you have an idea
of what the Eight Fold Path is?" The man continues and Bayman
blatantly yawns wide,
"If it doesn't lead to Japan, then I don't care much about it."
"It leads to Nirvana, my child!" The man dives into his pocket and retrieves numerous different pamphlets, "Take one! Free of charge!"
"Look, dude, all you're doing in giving me that is telling me to throw away so you don't have to look sacrilegious by doing it yourself. If that religion was the one for me, I would've found it by now, probably from a hot Asian chick, not you." Bayman begins to stand up and wake up his partner, but a man from the plane comes running towards them with a beer bottle in tow.
"Watch out, my child!" The man yells and Bayman turns around just barely in time to see the bottle spiraling towards him and the man leaps forwards, sacrificing himself to the impact. He lets out a chilling yell and falls backwards in a splash of blood and beer and the attacker turns and flees, yelling about the minions of Satan. Bayman looks down at the man with wide eyes.
"Are you alive, preacher?" Bayman looks down at the man's eyes rolled backwards in his head and shakes him slightly. The man's eyes spring open and he pops up, knocking his head into Bayman's even harder one and they both recoil, "Dammit!"
"No time for cursing, I've had a vision!" The man pops up and stands on one foot, his other bent in the air and his arms are stretched in some sort of fighting stance, "This feels right! I saw the future my boy, and you were there! And so was your friend, I don't even know him, but he was there."
"I think some of that blood tainted alcohol may have seeped into your being. You should probably go to a hospital to make sure everything is functioning." Bayman suggests and the man laughs aloud, an actual comforting laugh, but thats beside the point,
"No, my boy! I'm functioning correctly for the first time ever! What was it that Luda said? The more drink in you, the harder the fight? From hence forth, I shall no longer force my beliefs on others with words, I shall beat it into them!"
The
man spins around on his one foot, and lands on two, and then pops
backwards, almost as a drunkard would move and then tosses his left
leg upwards and falls backwards smoothly and lands on his back,
"You
ever heard of Zui Ba Xian Quan?" The man asks, lying in the beer
soiled puddle and Bayman raises an eyebrow,
"Is that a Chinese Pornstar?"
"When we meet again in the future, my boy, you will know well enough! Ha-Ha!" The man springs to his feet and rushes away towards the sprawling buildings of Beijing.
"Ohhh-kay." Bayman turns back around and Jann is staring at him, all the effects of his hangover now non-existent,
"Meeting new friends? C'mon, we have work to do."
"Woah, woah, what just happened? You're sober?" Jann snickers and holds his thumb up,
"It's Chaser, baby!"
Jann leads the way, newly invigorated and energized and rushes across the street with Bayman close behind.
"So what's the plan?"
"Well, unlike you, I didn't have any mayonnaise infested fries at the Airport, so first i need something to eat." Jann answers as he looks at the various different stores and shops lining the street, "We need to find one owned by a woman so it'll be easier to knock off."
"But don't all Chinese people know kung-fu and choppy choppy shit?" Bayman asks and Jann spins around and chops Bayman in the clavicle, producing a high pitched scream as he falls to the ground, whimpering,
"Hmmm...guess so. It's cool, we'll just be sneaky about it." Jann Lee looks in all directions at once and takes off to the west. Bayman picks himself up and follows closely after.
Jann comes to a stop at a convenient store with an old man sitting outside of it wearing baggy zebra print looking pajamas and slippers. Jann steps over him and enters through the door-less entrance. Bayman tosses a nickel at the man and begins to follow, but the old man grabs his ankle with a powerful grip, a grip much too powerful for such an old man to possess.
"Do I look like a beggar to you?!" He asks in a gruff, insulted voice and Bayman nods his head,
"Yes, mutha f'cka, you do look like a beggar!" Bayman answers and the old man growls,
"You will feast upon the Fatal Iron Fist, boy!" The old man begins to stand, but Bayman pushes him back down as he wrestles his ankle away,
"Go choke on some Mabo Tofu, gramps, get the hell off my kicks." Bayman leaves the old man lying on the ground with his back on the ground, unable to right himself akin to a turtle from Holland.
Bayman waves casually at the female attendant of the store and quickly finds Jann in the packaged noodle section, far away from the entrance. He surveys the minimal selections with a pensive frown.
"We've gotta figure out how to get twenty of these packages of noodles from here, to outside, without Sister Street Fighter, Sue Shiomi over there seeing us." Bayman leans out the aisle to study the attendant again.
"Is Sue Shiomi old and on the cusp of blindness?" Bayman asks and Jann scoffs,
"It's the old masters that you have to worry about. The one's you underestimate."
"I just kicked Mr. Fatal Iron Fists' ass out there in the entrance. I was expecting roaming gangs and spontaneous battles just popping out of no where when I got here."
"Sorry my country let you down." Jann says facetiously as he catches a glimpse of a young blond boy walking on the outside aisle.
The boy is wearing baggy pants like gramps at the entrance, which would be an ideal transportation device for his many heisted noodle meals.
"Hey baggy pants, you a westerner?" Jann calls out and the boy looks over with a raised eyebrow,
"Lei Ho." The boy says with a wide, almost feminine smile and Jann scowls at him,
"Do you speak English?" He asks, enunciating the words and the boy chuckles,
"Oh yes, I do. I thought you spoke Chinese."
"Did I not greet you in English?" Jann asks angrily and the boy shrugs his shoulders.
"Listen, kid, we need to use your pants for transportation." Bayman chimes in and the boy looks from from one teen to the other,
"I don't think so." He answers a bit hesitantly and Jann exhales, but it's Bayman that speaks first,
"Oh c'mon, kid, you could fit a jumbo f'ckin jet in there!"
"Listen, kid--" Jann is cut off.
"Um, my name is Eliot, so how about a lil R-E-S-P-E-C-T? Mmmkay?"
"Do you like boys, Eliot?" Bayman asks, rising up over the much shorter boy, but Eliot holds strong.
"Love in all forms is beautiful, so you can just step up out of my way!" Eliot snaps his fingers in Bayman's face and Jann scowls, becoming quite impacient,
"Listen, faggy, it's either your pants or your body cavity, but I'm starving and I don't have time for this!"
"If your hungry, then we can all go to Master's house and he'll feed us, and then bathe us, and then--"
"Enough already!" Bayman reaches forwards and grabs Eliot's shirt, but he isn't able to hold on long, before he is tossed into the shelf, knocking it over in an explosion of packaged noodles. Jann steps backwards wide eyed from both the fluid and deadly movements of the boy.
"I'm my own voice! I'm above the influence, I'm above stealing, I'm above drugs, and I'm above you two!" Eliot turns towards Jann in his daunting battle stance, and Jann laughs cautiously,
"I'm not doubting you there, kid...I mean, Eliot. It's just that..." Jann quickly points behind Eliot with wide eyes, "Is that not the biggest Magical Unicorn you have ever seen?"
Eliot quickly spins around in hopeful surprise and Jann quickly grabs a groggy Bayman's ankle and turns to run out of the store. He makes it out of the aisle, but a large brick of a man wearing army fatigues stands at the entrance, another westerner by his light skin and tall stature. Jann Lee is frozen in fear for the first time in his life by this emotionless killer. The turban wearing brute cracks his knuckles, rotates his shoulders and scowls,
"Hello, Jann."
(Shift)
On some distant Halo Planet, (I don't know which one, I've never played the game), Spartan-458 steps out of her shower and reaches blindly for her towel, but doesn't find it. She blinks water out of her eyes as she opens them, and has to smother a startled scream of terror, finding five armed men in black suits crammed into her small bathroom. The lead man flips open his badge and then flips it back quickly,
"Spartan-458, you're under arrest for impersonating an official of the Airline Special Forces."
"WHHHAAAAAAT????"