Standard Disclaimer: "Neon Genesis Evangelion" and "Bio-booster Armor Guyver" are the creative property of Hideaki Anno and Yoshiki Takaya respectively. If I could be reincarnated as either person, I'm not sure which series I'd like to own more—right now I can't lay claim to anything.

Other Standard Disclaimer: This fanfic is rated PG-13 (or T) for violence, swearing, and mild sexual references. WARNING! This first scene of this chapter contains graphic description that may not be suitable for some readers. Viewer discretion is advised.

Introductory Author's Note: Thanks go out our friendly neighborhood J-Easy, author James Ray Edwards, for generously pre-reading this chapter. And for those of you wondering how the long promised Chapter 3 somehow became Chapter 5, see the Author's Notes below.

KEY
"spoken"
'thoughts'

Out of Control
A Neon Genesis Evangelion/
Bio-booster Armor Guyver Fusion
By: Mares Guyver

Chapter 5: Night Terrors

Slowly the orb glowed bright white and whirred threateningly at the boy, then suddenly sprang from its casing and latched itself to his small face. A mass of oozing material, once tightly bound in rope-like coils, swelled like a pair of wings before wrapping the child in its cool embrace. Sprouting multiple tendrils, the goo spread rapidly across his body, twirling around his arms, running through his fingers, stretching across his torso, moving down his legs—it was everywhere!

Eyes wide with fear, the boy could only stand helplessly as the slimy thing continued its sickening caress. Soon his entire body had been entombed—he could no longer see, no longer hear, no longer touch, taste, or smell. His whole reality was a squishy, slimy darkness that began pressing against his frame with greater and greater force. On his forehead, the child could feel the smooth metallic orb burrowing deep into his skull, and without warning several pinkie-sized tendrils snaked painfully into his nostrils, his ears, and even the tear ducts of his eyes.

The boy didn't even have time to scream before one thick, fleshy strand shoved itself down his throat.

In one motion, the door to "Shinji's Lovely Suite" was swept aside as Misato Katsuragi rolled into the room, paused, then rose on her knees and brought her 9-mm Beretta to bear. Her charge's sudden, piercing scream had quickly woken her from her alcohol-induced slumber, and its just as startling cut-off had sent her military-honed alarm bells ringing. The NERV Captain's russet eyes darted to each corner of the sparse room, looking for any possible source to Shinji's startled cry. Satisfied that no enemies lurked in the shadows, Misato allowed herself to relax a hair, and lowering her handgun, she turned to look at Shinji. The heavy steel weapon clunked on the floor as she took in the horrifying sight.

The boy was lying on his back, muscles tensed to the breaking point, arms, legs, fingers and toes spread as wide as their joints would allow. His spine was arched so that his torso rose slightly above the ground, and though Shinji's mouth was open in a broad "O", no sound emerged from his throat. If the Child was aware of the older woman's presence, his face didn't show it—his cobalt orbs were rolled upward, with visible whites like those of the undead.

Brown eyes wide with panic, Misato pounced to the small boy's side and began thoroughly shaking his shoulders, shouting Shinji's name over and over. After nearly a minute, the child's body relaxed and he settled back onto the futon, and after blinking rapidly, he focused on the near hysterical woman next to him.

"Mi . . . Mi . . . Misato-san?" the wide-eyed boy asked sleepily. At the sound of the young pilot's voice, tears of relief began streaming down the purple-haired beauty's face.

"Oh Kami-sama . . ." Leaning over, the crying woman fiercely hugged the confused boy, her body shaking with choked bawling. Unsure as to the proper course of action, Shinji just lay there and let the women pour her heart out, and after a minute, Misato stopped shaking and released him. Sitting up in his futon, Shinji blinked with puzzlement at the teary, smiling NERV Captain.

"Shinji-kun, don't scare me like that!" she said with a half laugh, half sob. The brown-haired boy's eyes widened, and then he bowed his head with shame.

"I-I-I'm sorry, Misato-san . . ." he said quietly, and the mauve-haired woman laughed heartily. With a warm smile, Misato reached over and affectionately tousled the boy's messy brown locks.

"It's okay, Shinji-kun, I was just so worried . . ." leaving her long hand in place, Misato began softly scratching the back of Shinji's neck, "Did you have a bad dream?" The boy nodded.

"Yeah . . ." he said quietly, eyes downcast. Settling onto the floor next to Shinji, Misato continued her soft caress, grateful that the boy was accepting her touch.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked just as quietly, and Shinji's head lowered a bit further, his bangs hiding his eyes. Seconds passed, and with a twinge of disappointment, the purple-haired beauty began to rise, but paused as the boy's soft voice slowly began to emerge.

"It . . . it wasn't just a dream. It was a memory, from before I came here." As Misato settled back onto the floor, Shinji pulled his knees up to his chest, eyes fixed on the opposite wall. After a moment he continued his narration, "It happened two years ago . . . I was being chased by some older boys from the neighborhood. We were in the woods behind my teacher's house . . ." Shinji's eyes squeezed shut as he tightened his grip around his legs, "I . . . fell, into some sort of hole—an underground cave. It was dark . . . and wet . . . and cold. Something in there . . . attacked me, and I passed out."

Frowning with concern, Misato raised her hand and placed it on the small boy's back, aiming to rub it reassuringly. But as soon as the cool fingers brushed Shinji's shirt, he started and leaned forward, covering his back with his arms and whimpering slightly. Arm still raised, the purple-haired Captain could only stare at her charge with wide eyes, her mind whirling like a dynamo.

'Wha . . . what did I do? Why wouldn't he want to be touched there . . . ?' Worry lines settled as realization set in, 'His growths . . . the accident in his dream, it must be where he got them.' Misato had not seen the blistering lesions herself, but both Maya and Ritsuko had described them to her in detail. The Third Child's Observational and Psychological Profile contained a record as well, with a notation about Shinji's overwhelming insecurity towards their presence.

Lowering her arm to a safe spot—Shinji's shoulder—Misato murmured, "That sounds horrible, Shinji-kun . . ."

Still hugging himself tightly, the boy sniffed and nodded, then said, "Tha . . . that's not the worst part though . . ." Bowing his head, Shinji trailed off into silence, but after a gentle squeeze from his companion urged him on. "When I . . . woke up, a lot of the forest had burned down—someone had . . . lost control. I was mostly unharmed . . ." Shinji whispered harshly, "But those other boys . . . something happened to them, too. And they were never . . . never the same."

As the young man beside her began softly sobbing, Misato looked on and quietly shared in his despair. It was obvious that the boy blamed himself for the old incident, just like he did the events following the Third Angel's attack. It had been nearly a week since that day—six short days since she had gotten herself reassigned as Shinji's guardian. In the time since that first "Welcome Home", the purple-haired woman had learned a lot about her ward, though Shinji certainly did not make the task easy. But despite the boy's seeming impenetrability, if one looked hard and long enough, you would see glimpses of the true Shinji hidden beneath.

Take his surprising passion for classical music, for instance. Misato had never really cared for the style herself, but the old instrumentals seemed to be all that Shinji listened to on his little SDAT player. She had also begun to have second thoughts when she first heard Shinji practicing on his cello late one afternoon. The tired Operations Director had been early arriving home from NERV, and upon opening the door was greeted by the low, somber tones of Bach's Suite Number 3, "Air on A G String." Curious, she had snuck up to Shinji's bedroom and peeked just around the corner of his door. The boy was sitting in the middle of his room, eyes closed, expertly drawing the bow across the large instrument that until then had been a black bag picking up dust in the corner. Looking back on it, Misato wondered if Shinji would have continued as he had if he knew that she was there.

'Probably not . . .' the NERV Captain thought sadly, as the memory of Shinji's expression while he played reformed in her mind. Though the piece was naturally very solemn, the EVA pilot had seemed to add an extra note of despair to the notes—putting all of his fear, sadness, and longing into every long stroke of the strings. His face, though focused with practiced concentration, flickered with each new emotion, rising and falling in time with the chords of the suite. Hiding voyeuristically by the doorframe, Misato had felt her heart lurch as her charge's secret pain was finally laid bare before her, pain that no one was ever meant to see or experience.

'He hurts so much inside, and he takes the woes of the world and makes them his own—even the things he has no power over,' Misato pondered as she continued to squeeze the boy's shoulder, 'What can I do, Shinji? What can I do to make you see that you're not alone? That you don't have to be alone in your pain?' For nearly a minute the purple-haired beauty contemplated this problem, and eventually she removed her hand from Shinji and began unbuttoning the front of her nightshirt.

Sensing the difference in pressure on his arm, Shinji tilted his head up to look at his guardian, then immediately turned back around, his face flushing red as a stoplight. The lad's rapid-fire thoughts on his housemate's impropriety were cut short though when the woman in question uttered a quiet, hesitant "Shinji-kun." Right away, the boy knew that something was off. Misato's voice seemed almost . . . timid, lacking the usual liveliness and cheer it had when she was teasing or joking with him. With an audible gulp, Shinji slowly rotated on his futon until his whole body faced that of the older woman.

Resting on her knees, head bowed so that her mauve locks covered her eyes, Misato sat silently, holding both sides of her cotton shirt apart so that the front of her body lay exposed. To Shinji's embarrassed relief, Misato's undergarments were still in place, though his cheeks still flared brightly at the sight of his guardian's bare skin. His mortification disappeared though as his blue eyes widened, taking in a startling new detail that sprang to his attention. A scar—pale white, jagged, and broad—ran diagonally across the woman's body, starting just below the joint of her right shoulder, and running diagonally down her body to the top of her stomach cavity, a few centimeters above the naval. Hearing the boy's sudden intake of breath, Misato looked up, but then immediately tilted her head to the side.

"I was about your age when I got this," she began, "It also happened in a bad accident. A lot of people . . . died, but I survived, though the damage was already done." Misato closed her eyes, her brows quivering as she struggled to hold back the horrific sounds and images, "For two years, I didn't say a word to anybody—I couldn't. All I could do was remember what happened, and blame myself, even though events were totally out of my control."

Finally looking up, the older woman smiled sadly at Shinji as tears rimmed her brown eyes, "Everyone has things they don't want to remember, Shinji-kun—pasts that bring them so much pain that they just want to forget and move on. Some of us though, can't . . . because we have a reminder of that pain that we have to carry with us." Closing her eyes again, Misato touched the edge of the ragged white flesh by her shoulder, saying softly:

"This is mine."

A moment of silence passed in the small bedroom, but then Misato's russet orbs flew open as she dully felt small fingertips lightly graze the lower half of her mark. Hearing the woman's gasp, Shinji immediately withdrew his hand and shrank away, stuttering apologies for his apparent violation. Misato's eyes softened immediately, and reaching over she put one large hand against the side of the boy's face, quieting him, and bringing his quivering cobalt eyes back to her.

"You don't have to apologize, Shinji-kun," Misato said with a soft smile, "I chose to show you this . . . it's not something I do for a lot of people." Choking up slightly, Misato bowed her head and began buttoning up her nightshirt one-handed, "It's . . . my flaw, my biggest shame. The one thing I feel I have to hide from the world."

Looking back up with a light smile, she reached up with her free hand and rested it on the boy's trembling shoulder, "I wanted to show you though, so that you'll know that I understand. Both of us have nightmares that we wish would just fade away when we wake up in the morning. But they never do, because we see them again every time we look in the mirror. The only thing we can do about it is try to take comfort from others like us."

Slowly, carefully, the purple-haired woman wrapped her arms around and embraced the young man, bringing him close to her, though his own arms stayed loose at his sides. Twisting her head so that her mouth was by Shinji's ear, Misato whispered, "If you want me to, I'll be there for you, Shinji-kun." In her arms, the NERV Captain could feel the boy tremble as her words sank in.

"Misa . . . Misa . . . Misato-san . . ." he began, but no other words seemed to be able to come out. Smiling softly, Misato gave Shinji one last squeeze before rising and making her way to the door (retrieving her sidearm in the process). Pausing in the threshold, she rested her hand on the light switch, and then looked back at the boy who now lay in his futon, his deep blue eyes still fixed on her.

Smiling tiredly, and recalling the very first night that Shinji had stayed in her home, Misato uttered, "Hang in there," then flicked off the lights and closed the door.

As the two housemates settled back into their respective bunks, they each struggled to get back to sleep as the enormity of the encounter just moments before weighed down on their spirits. They would have been surprised at the similarity of their thoughts as they each finally slipped into unconsciousness. Both were scared, but also slightly hopeful about the sudden shift in the apartment dynamic. Both were gladdened by the discovery that there was someone that they could possibility reveal themselves to, without fear of rejection or reprisal. And both felt extremely guilty, because though they had uncovered much, they could never tell the other the full truth of the horrors which had left them with mutually scarred flesh.

END CHAPTER FIVE

TRANSLATION GUIDE
Kami-sama: In the Japanese Budo-Shinto tradition, the equivalent of God or a higher being.
-san: Equivalent to Mr./Ms./Mrs.; used when formally addressing an individual, and almost always when a subordinate addresses a superior or elder person.
-kun: Used in causal/friendly relationships, typically with males, and most often as a sign of light affection from a superior to a subordinate. Also used between people of the same age who share friendly relations.

Author's Notes: Welcome to "Out of Control" Version 2.0, reformatted for your viewing and reading pleasure! ;P

Indeed, while working on these three chapters, I decided to rework the previous two as well, based on my readers' many comments and suggestions. The impulse for this change came about a few months ago when I was invited to post my fic on Wanting to put my best foot forward, I decided that it was probably the greatest opportunity I would have to make any changes I desired. Thus far, I have been very pleased with the results.

If you've already gone back and read the old chapters, you'll know that this new version isn't much different from the previous one in terms of content. The greatest change, of course, is the conversion of the massive first two chapters into four medium-sized ones. By doing this, I hope to make those chapters a little bit easier to swallow in one sitting than their previous bulk would ever allow. This is a tread I've continued with Chapters 5-7 (which were initially one large chapter, which is why they took so long to write), and one which I hope to continue for however long my fanfic lasts. After all, as my pre-reader J-Easy continues to say, shorter chapters equal shorter writing time (as well as shorter intervals between posts).

Another large change is the vast reduction of stray Japanese words and phrases in the text. Many of you readers commented on how badly the story's pacing suffered due to the excessive amount of foreign terminology. Going back over what I had written, I felt inclined to agree, and eliminated the more useless bits of nihongo scattered about the chapters. However, I didn't get rid of everything, and kept words I felt were important due to their inherent cultural weight. Thus, Japanese honorifics, titles, and personal pronouns (Mother, Father, Brother, etc.) remain, along with a smattering of other words when I feel it is necessary for literary effect. In my opinion though, I don't think they distract from the story's flow as much as the previous onslaught did.

In terms of internal revision, Ritsuko's dialogue and actions got a total revamp in an effort to make her seem more "Ritsuko-ish." I also revised some of Maya's dialogue and thoughts during her scene with Shinji in Chapter 4. The reason behind this was a review by reader noctifer, who expressed discomfort at Maya's apparent level of physical attraction for a 14-year old boy. Going back over the text, I also grew uncomfortable over Maya's thoughts, especially because the way they were written established a dynamic different than the one I wished to exist between her and Shinji. That problem has since been resolved.

Thank you to all of you readers for your continued patience and support of this story. I know you've been hanging in there a long time, and I hope these three chapters were worth that wait. With a little luck, and a little faith, the next installment will be just around the corner, so stay tuned!

And without further ado, to the Batmobile! I mean, to the Review Responses!

vic: Hope you liked the little taste of Shinji's past in this chapter, my friend. More will be revealed about his old experiences as a Guyver later on, I assure you.

bardiel132004: I know, I know . . . Shinji is my favorite EVA character, but he's just so fun to torture (now I know why Asuka and Misato get such a kick out of it)! Still, as you've seen in this chapter, the remark did serve a purpose . . . and here you all thought it was just witty banter. Ph43r my 133t ski11z! ;-P

Cyblade Silver: For now let us save our revelry of mutual hatred for Viz, for I have good news. No, I didn't save a bunch of money on my car insurance—apparently a Singapore company called Chuang Yi Publishing has been given authorization to print an English translation of the Guyver manga! Books 1-7 (the same books published by Viz) are already available, and Book 8 is scheduled for publication this Winter. They can by purchased via at or by Credit/Debit card at (just add a "http" and "www" to the front ;-) ). And who knows? Since AD Vision is a partner in the new Guyver anime series, a new American version of the manga may also be just around the corner! It's just like Sho said in the OVA series: "(A) Guyver never dies."

Teknoguyver: If I can find a way to fit Aptom in, then he will most definitely be in the story. This would simply not be a Guyver crossover if it lacked Aptom's sheer awesomeness! Besides, a sociopath like him would fit in the Evangelion world quite well, given that every character has a mental disorder of some sort. ;-P

James Ray Edwards: Good luck to you with Navy ROTC, my friend! From what little of the program I've seen at my own school it isn't for the weak of spirit, but if you're committed to the challenge you'll emerge better than you ever knew you could be. And I'm glad you caught the references I made in my Sidestory/Omake! I've made a few others in the previous chapters for my own amusement, but no one else has spotted or pointed them out yet. I guess I've hidden them too well. ;P

AN: Peace to you, my friends. This is Mares Guyver, signing off.