September 3

Oh, my goodness! I, Alice Marian Sharp, have detention for tonight and tomorrow with Sirius Black! Sirius Black, I tell you! Here's what's so shocking:

I'm in detention for the first time in my life

I've got detention with Sirius Black, the biggest prankster at Hogwarts (after James Potter, of course)

Its not my fault

It's not Sirius' fault either. Well, not entirely his fault.

Its Lily and James' faults.

Can you believe that?

Here's what happened:

Me and Lily were walking down to the Great Hall for breakfast, and I was talking about how Frank said goodnight to me.

Lily was much exited for me. "Oh my God, Alice, that's great! You guys are so cute together! I bet Frank secretly likes you!"

I giggled. Hey, I couldn't help it. The only thing that makes me giggle is Frank.

It was at that moment that Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and James all approached us.

Remus smiled and said "Good morning, Lily, Alice."

Lily nodded in that serious way of hers and replied, "Good morning, Remus." She made a point of not looking at the others.

Sirius linked one arm with me and the other with Lily and declared, "Let me escort you ladies to the Great Hall." I laughed, but Lily looked all irritated and pushed him off.

Lily glowered at him, and then James.

"Get away from me, Potter," she hissed.

James glanced at Sirius "The agreement was that he wouldn't attempt communication with you. You never said anything about walking with you," Sirius reasoned.

Lily's face seemed to grow redder and redder. "You two are the most annoying, bullying, irritating, idiotic, abnormal, unkind-"

"Whoa, Prongs, we got ourselves a whole dictionary there!" Sirius interrupted.

James barely noticed him. He only nodded glumly and glanced at Lily. Lily took this whole glance thing way too personally, because she stopped in her tracks, took out her wand, pointed it at James and yelled a curse that transformed James into a frog. A frog! He was really gross. He started jumping around and croaking. Lily was glaring at the frog (James), Peter was staring at Lily with his mouth open, Remus was picking James (the frog) up and muttering something about taking him to the hospital wing and Sirius pulled out his wand and yelled: "Furnuculous!" But luckily the curse missed Lily.

I pulled out my wand, just in case. Lily sent a curse at Sirius, who started tap dancing, while yelling a curse that hit me by accident.

All of a sudden my hands got all red and blotchy, and I could tell the same was happening to my face when Lily cried, "Alice- your face!"

It was chaos. Sirius was dancing all over the place, bumping into people, I was covering my face with one hand and held my wand in the other, Peter ran off to find a teacher, James (the frog, remember?) had gotten out of Remus' grasp and was hopping merrily around on the floor, Remus was desperately trying to catch the frog (James) and Bellatrix Black was standing behind Lily laughing her head off.

After about five minutes of this, Peter came running back with Professor McGonagall. "WHAT IS THIS?" she bellowed.

"Professor, it was-"

"It was all-"

"Croak!"

"It was-"

"Professor-"

We were all broken off, however, by a very annoyed looking Sirius. "Stop arguing and undo this curse!"

Professor McGonagall undid the curse and glanced at me, and then fixed my face.

She glanced at the wand in my hand, and then the wand in Sirius' hand.

Clearly, McGonagall can put two and two together. "Lupin, take er… who exactly is that frog?"

"James Potter, Professor."

"Take Potter to the hospital wing and get him back to normal. Sharp, Black, with me!"

Lily gasped at the unrighteousness of it all. "Professor, it wasn't Alice, it was-"

"Shut up, Evans." Bellatrix rudely broke in.

So I had no choice but to follow Professor McGonagall to my doom. In her office she told us that we would be scrubbing all the awards clean for detention tonight and tomorrow night. Hallelujah.

Why does everything happen to me?

Later, Transfiguration

I told Iris, Stacy and Lily about my detention. Lily was very sympathetic, Stacy was all shocked and Iris started lecturing me. Again.

"Oh, my God, Alice," she began, "You should really have stood up for yourself in McG's office. I mean, honestly, you are so not guilty! What is it with you? You really have to stop letting people walk all over you. I just don't get it. Alice, you should have told McGonagall that you are innocent! Because I know you, Alice! You're so gullible! I bet Bellatrix Black is laughing over your bad fortune right this instant! I bet that wouldn't be happing if you stood up for yourself! You-"

"Okay, thank you, Iris," Lily broke, saving me from another one of Iris' lengthy lectures.

Iris glared at her for a few moments and then started talking about the stupidity of the ministry.

But I guess Iris is right. I should have told Professor McGonagall the truth. But quite honestly, when I stood in Professor McGonagall's office my mouth turned to sandpaper. It's quite tragic. It happens every time I'm face to face with a teacher, Frank or Bellatrix Black.

Even later, Defense Against the Dark Arts

I just thought of something: what if my detention will be remembered throughout the rest of my life?

What if I'm not allowed to graduate because I got detention?

What if I'm not allowed to become an Auror because I got detention for a crime I didn't commit?

They don't send people to Azkaban for hexing someone in the hallways, do they?

I bet this has ruined my life.

Gryffindor Common Room

Okay Alice, breathe in and out. Deep breaths now, in, out, in, out, in- this isn't working!

Iris just told me to relax and get a grip. How am I supposed to relax when I've got detention in exactly fourteen minutes?

Lily's very sympathetic and is telling me that she will get James back for this. Stacy says that she's sure James didn't want this to happen.

Speaking of James, he still hasn't come back from the hospital wing. The other three marauders have been acting very coldly towards Lily. I guess I can understand that. I mean, if James turned Iris into a frog I certainly wouldn't treat him very well.

Maybe Madame Pomfrey can't fix James. Maybe the curse is permanent. Oh well, I guess James will just have to learn to live with it.

Oh, no, I think I'm going to throw up. Sirius is coming down from the boy's dormitory now. He says its time to go. I'm pretty sure I won't survive this.