Ziggy's Corner: Chapter 17. Zhao is up!
ADMIRAL ZHAO
Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao! His first job was dressing up in a chicken oppossum suit for Kentucky Fried Chicken!
"I did no such thing," Zhao growled under his breath.
Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao! His real name is Pinocchio!
"I am NOT a wooden puppet!" Zhao roared. Why he was doing this, he could not understand. Honestly he was thankful they were bringing him back at the end of season 2 (true fact folks) but this was ridiculous. "Why would you even think of saying that?"
I understand that you have a wooden something or other, if you get my drift!
"Hey this thing is rated T, there's no such need for such talk!" Zhao grumbled. All of the sudden he found himself in a barber chair. "What the heck?"
Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao! He likes welcoming young women into his candy shop so they can lick his…
"Oh would you stop being so redundant And why in the hell am I in a barber's chair?"
Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao! He's deathly afraid of swimming suits!
"And why would I be afraid of swimming suits?"
You saw your mother in one when you were three, that's what turned you evil!
"Where do you get your facts from, the funny pages?" Zhao's eyes were twitching with irritation and he could fell his pulse race.
Of course not, I get them from the bubble gum wrappers!
"Did your mother drop you on your head when you were born?" Zhao looked around, glaring at the girls. "Sorry, not ticklish."
A collective "ewwwwwww" came from all their mouths. "You are a pervert!" Katara growled.
Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao! He's a big hunking woodsman!
"Don't I need to be in Canada to be something like that, you puss faced, dim witted, MORON!"
Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao, Admiral Zhao! He is a Canadian hating poorly skilled name caller!
"Can we just get this over with!" Zhao growled. The girls rushed over to him, tied him into the chair, right before Toph gave him a purple nurple of his life. Then Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate and the Demented Hobbit Ninja came forward with nods to the other girls. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
Commander Zhubi, Commander Zhubi, Commander Zhubi! He's a ten year old boy, with a bad case of acne!
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH… WHAT IS THAT GIRL DOING WITH HOT WAX!"
Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate and the Demented Hobbit Ninja shrugged. "I tried to use razors, but the doctor said I'm not allowed usage of sharp things for some reason." She began slabbing the hot wax on his side burns and tore forward.
"ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!" Zhao cried. "Why is only SHE DOING THIS TO ME!"
Because the other girls have decided to do something about Azula's stank!
Sure enough, Azula was tied to a wall, her arms high above her head. Around her the other girls except for, well you know, wore biohazard suits and were cleaning her with large brushes.
And now you know, Admiral Zhao, a ten year old commander whose name is really Zhubi, has bad acne, is afraid of bathing suits, has a wooden you know what, likes to lure girls into some kind of candy shop, and refuses to give her barber a tip!
"She's not my BARBER, SHE'S LOUSY AAAATTTTTT TTTTTTHHHHHHHIIIIIIISSSSSSSS!" Zhao snarled.
"Oh look," I.E.V.P.A.T.D.H.N. said, "I finally found my razor!"
"I thought you SAID YOU WEREN'T ALLOWED BLADES!"
"Did I say that? I'm sowwry, I meant deadly ass snakes on a plane!"
Zhao screamed his head off during the rest of the barber visit. By the time she was done with him, his face looked like some kind of demented pumpkin.
UP NEXT: SUKI!