Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last two chapters. I'm glad you guys are liking and reading this. I've been really busy so I haven't had time to respond to all of you-but I really appreciate the reviews. I hope this chapter gets some things cleared up!

Chapter 6: My Life was Dust

Roger slowly lifted the small picture that was inside the folder. It took him a minute to realize what it was. The black background, with it's fuzzy white outline barely resembled a human figure. His left hand clenched in a fist.

There were two other pictures in the folder and a note to Mark in April's handwriting. He read it in his mind

Mark,

You've always been there. I just never saw all you were until it was too late. I'd have been lost without you these past few months. Take care of Roger- I never meant to hurt him. I love you.

April

Before he could think, Roger flew off the bed and into the middle of the loft, with the letter in his hand.

"What the hell is this?" he shouted.

Mark squinted, adjusting his glasses before realizes what was in Roger's hand. The note was on April's flowered stationary, the same one that she would use to write letters home. He would recognize it anywhere.

"I-Roger, where did you find that?" He said walking over to Roger.

"When did you fuck her?" his voice grew in anger as he pushed the smaller man back. Mark looked confused at him, "Answer me Goddammit. I'd like to know when you fucked April."

Mark put a hand on his shoulder, "Roger, I didn't. Let me explain what you saw." He was trying to be sympathetic, but Roger would have none of it.

He grabbed Mark's shirt and pulled it, bringing his body closer, and dragged him into his bedroom. "What needs to be explained? It looks pretty clear to me," Roger yelled holding up the ultrasound picture, "Or do I need to explain to you how babies are made?"

"Roger, calm down. First of all, I didn't touch April. And also, did you look at the damn picture?" Mark pointed to the small white words at the top of the ultrasound. It read Baby Boy Ericcson-Davis.

Roger fumbled on his words, "How? I mean, she never told me," he shook his head, "You knew? You've known this whole time?"

The two men sat on the edge of the bed, "Roger, you know how you were after she died. I didn't want to make you feel any guiltier than you already did. You were messed up and you know that."

"But a baby Mark," he looked down again reading the words and a small smiled escaped his lips but quickly faded, "We were in no state to raise a baby."

"She found out that she was pregnant and you were never here. You saw how close we had gotten those last two months, right?" Roger shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"Did you go with her for this?" he asked holding up another ultrasound picture.

Mark nodded, "On the third visit the doctor brought her in alone and she came out crying. She wouldn't tell me what happened. A week later," he looked down, "Well, you know what happened. I always assumed that was when she found out about the AIDS."

"I see," Roger wiped his brow and was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Mimi," he said quickly, shoving the box underneath his bed and drying his eyes on his sleeves.

Mark threw the tan shirt at him, "Put this on. I'll go let her in and put dinner out for you. I'm going out to film. We can talk later if you want to."

Roger slid the shirt on and nodded. "Go," he whispered.

"Are you gonna be ok?"

"I will."

Roger came out of the bedroom and Mimi walked over to him and kissed his cheek, "Hello Handsome," she whispered while pinching his side. Her hands moved lower and rubbed his back. She moved her hips into his and smiled up at him.

"Feeling better are we?" he asked dryly, without his usual sarcasm.

"You okay?" She immediately noticed the change in him. Fuck, he thought. She knew him too well.

He loved her more than he had loved April. He had loved April, but he did keep secrets from her. He was even tempted to cheat on her. He couldn't imagine being like that with Mimi.

"Fine," he said quickly, rubbing his nose.

"Dinner's ready guys," Mark chimed in, "Roger, you doing ok?"

Mimi looked at him, "So something is wrong."

Roger huffed, "I'm going out," he said quickly and slammed the door to the loft behind him.

Mimi flung her arms to her sides and crumbled against the wall. Her eyes wandered to Mark, who was still standing starring at the door.

"Mark, please tell me what's going on with him," she begged crying into her hands.

"Only if you tell me what's bothering you. You're not very good at keeping secrets either Mimi," she smiled and he leant out a hand to help her off the floor.

"Okay," she smiled as he put a hand on her shoulder, "Let's go sit down."

"Well," She started, "I haven't been feeling very good lately. I'm sure you've noticed or at least heard Roger whining about it. I was almost glad when he made me go to the clinic because I wouldn't have gone on my own."

Mark nodded, "I'm glad too. What happened when you went? Are you getting worse?"

"No. I'm actually pretty healthy considering all that's happened in the past few months. I nearly died five months ago Mark, and I think I forget that," she tried to laugh.

"Oh," he put his hand on her knee, "It's just me Mimi. You can tell me." Her eyes grew heavy. Mark made her feel so comfortable. It was no wonder that he was the only one who could ever get through to Roger.

She found herself embracing him, weeping into his shoulder, "I'm so glad you're here right now."

"It's ok Mimi. Just tell me what's the matter and we'll fix it. Do you not want to marry Roger? Is something wrong with you?"

She broke away from him and dried her eyes, "Mark, I've known for a while now. I've just been denying it. Then at the clinic," she paused, "I just wasn't ready to hear it out loud. That's why I snapped when we got back here. I was so confused, but I love him so much."

"I'm sorry Mimi, but I don't think I understand."

"I mean, all's I wanted to do was marry Roger. I had always pictured spending my last few years with him. We'd be happy and in love, but a baby never entered that picture."

Mark's eyes widened. Suddenly it was clear why Mimi was so upset.

"Are you ok with this?" he asked quietly, thinking back on his conversation with Roger earlier, "You know I'm here for both you. When are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. You know Roger and that means we have no idea what he'll think about this. What if he doesn't want to keep it? I'm too far along to," her head went back into her hands, "I couldn't do that anyways."

"Are you feeling ok?" Mimi was glad that she had Mark to confide in. Even though he was Roger's best friend, he would never tell him what they had talked about.

She nodded, "Well I was getting sick, but I think I'm doing better now."

"Just go to bed and we'll figure out this in the morning." She nodded and got up, looking back and smiling at him before going into Roger's room.

The phone rang and the answering machine picked up. SPPPEEAAAAKKK.

"Mark, it's Collins. I'm back in town early man, throw down the key. I found a present roaming the streets too. Shit, hurry up man." Mark threw the keys down to see Collins holding Roger up on the sidewalk.

By the time he had gotten upstairs, he was nearly holding him. He now resembled a small child, nodding in and out of consciousness. Mimi had heard the commotion and ran out of the bedroom in a tee shirt and shorts, rubbing her eyes.

"Mimi go back to bed," Mark commanded. She rushed to Roger's side. He reeked of alcohol, but he seemed to sober up when he saw her.

"Mimi, I missed you," he slurred running his hand through her hair.

"Ok lover boy, let's go get you cleaned up and into bed," Collins laughed. He remembered doing this for Roger years earlier when he'd go out after a gig.

"Take care of my fiancée," Roger told Mark as Collins helped him into the bathroom. Mimi tried to smile, but wondered what had made him so upset that he'd go out. It wasn't like him. She also remembered that Mark hadn't gotten a chance to talk to her about it.

"Woah, when did you guys get engaged?" Collins looked surprised and waved a hand in front of Mimi's dazed face.

"Only this morning, well last night," She smiled and went to Mark's side, resting her head on his shoulder.

The moment was broken by the sound of Roger's vomit hitting the bathroom floor. Mark and Collins ran to him and Collins shooed Mimi off to bed.

"Congratulations. I promise, we can take care of him. God knows we've done it before. Don't worry, we'll send him to bed."

An hour later Mimi felt him climb into bed, still in his jeans. His hair was wet. He smelt like soap, and she nuzzled her head in between his neck and chin, facing him.

"You ok?" she asked, running her finger over his chest.

"Fine," he again answered, "You know. I never did tell you what happened with April." Her eyes shot up at him. This all had to do with April.

"What happened babe?" She pretended to be understanding, but April had never been her soft spot. For some reason, she couldn't help but want to hate her. She never knew if it was because Roger loved her or because she had hurt him.

"One night we were laying out on the roof, tangled in sheets under the stars," Mimi closed her eyes pretending that he skipped over the last part of the sentence, "and we talked about leaving the city. We were gonna buy a house in the suburbs, like where Mark grew up, and we would have a mail box and a dog."

"That sounds nice," she said still pulling him closer.

"It did," He kissed her forehead. "We wanted two kids, a boy and a girl. She had always wanted a little girl named Madison. It never happened. Only a few months later, I couldn't do anything without being high. We had no money. I didn't care. I couldn't help but feel like I let her down. When she died, I just blamed myself. I never gave that to her."

"You couldn't have known," she said grabbing his face, "I know how much you loved her. I used to be jealous of her you know? I would never leave you though, and I'm here now." She couldn't believe she was about to say this and paused, "Roger, it's ok to miss her."

"I know," he smiled. It was a real smile. "And that's why I'm marrying you."

She wrapped her arms further around him and thought about raising a family with him for the first time. "What did you want to name him?"

"Huh," he asked, half distracted by her hands slipping into the back pocket of his jeans.

"You said what you wanted to name your daughter, but never the little boy," she laughed playing with the back of his jeans.

"Daniel," he said quietly, "Danny. I'd teach him how to play baseball in the front yard and ride a bike in the drive way and" he was cut off when Mimi's hands came to a stop and quickly lifted from his pocket.

In them was a small bag a white powder. "Roger," she said in disbelief, holding the bag in his face, "please tell me you didn't."