Thanks for reviewing everyone. I'll try and fix grammar and spelling soon for these two chapters. (Feminists… hehehe… they make me laugh)
I refuse to put in a disclaimer because I do own this series so ha!!!
Chapter 2
As you may have noticed, the tale of this story you are reading is The Ferocious Finnish. You may have thought when you first quickly read the title that the title of this book was The Ferocious Finish. This however is not the Ferocious Finish. If the title of this book was The Ferocious Finish, you may expect this book to contain a conclusion to the lives of our four main characters that includes some very ferocious people and actions. But, this is not the tale of The Ferocious Finish that comes later in the tales of Beatrice and the Baudelaires that finishes off the continuation of their lives from the Series of Unfortunate Events. This is instead the first book in the continuation of their lives from the Series of Unfortunate Events. This tale, rather than talking about the ferocious finish that concludes their story, is the first tale of their continuation of their story which includes the ferocious Finnish. The Finnish, as you may know, are the people who come from Finland. Now, I am not saying that all the Finnish are ferocious, rather than saying that just these group of ferocious Finnish pirates are ferocious. These members of the ferocious Finnish pirates that are included in the title of this tale are the exact same pirates that the Baudelaires and their companion Beatrice were saved by. They are also, the same pirates now standing in front of the four of them now.
"State your names. All of them." The woman ordered.
"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted.
"I'll go first! My name is Lisa Yegabro." A skinny teenager said.
"My name is Henrietta and my parents never told me about my last name." A middle aged lady with a giant mole on her forehead said.
"My name is Fi-" A girl dressed in a scuba diving costume that covered up her whole body who had just climbed up the side of the ship started to say.
"Shut up! I didn't mean the crew! I meant these four!" The woman said and gestured towards the Baudelaires and Beatrice.
"AYE!!! AYE!!!"
"Now what are your names?" The woman asked.
"I'm Violet Baudelaire."
"I'm Klaus Baudelaire."
"I'm Sunny Baudelaire."
"Baudelaire?" The women whispered under her breathe as a look of confusion washed over her face. Now you may know that when a look of confusion washes over somebody's face they are usually confused. In this case though the women named Claudia was less confused and more puzzled.
"JUNKA!" Beatrice yelled.
"Junka? Is that really her name?" The women asked.
"No. She doesn't know how to talk normally. She only speaks in gibberish." Violet explained. "She means that her name is Beatrice."
"PEY!" Beatrice corrected Violet.
"She says Beatrice Snicket." Klaus told the woman.
Once again a look of confusion took over the woman's face, which actually was more of a look of puzzlement. As you know when people are puzzled they are either trying to figure out a problem or wondering if two things have any connection. For one example I was once puzzled when I was trying to figure the answer to an equation that contained only variables. The answer was of course six when I took my time to figure it out, but until I did I was very puzzled. Another time, I was very puzzled if the fact that our math teacher was always sleeping and the fact that the problems that we were given on the board were always problems that took hours to finish, had any connection. In this case the woman was puzzled if there was any connection between these three Baudelaires and the young Baudelaire couple her ship had picked up seventeen years earlier. Not only that but, the fact that the young toddler's last name was Snicket and so was the last name of the pregnant woman she had saw floating on a pile of books a year before, had any connection. "Well… Violet, Klaus, Sunny Baudelaire and Beatrice Snicket, welcome to our ship. The Hornet. My name is Claudia and I am the captain of this ship." The women said.
"AYE!!! AYE!!!"
"Thank you for saving us." Sunny repeated.
"Yes, thank you very much." Violet thanked.
"Thank you." Said Klaus.
"Fing." Beatrice thanked.
"Excuse me for being so quick to ask questions, but why are there no men on this ship? And why do you act like old times pirates?" Klaus asked.
"Well… I guess I'll forgive you. Even though you are a… boy…" Claudia said.
"Aye…"
"The reason there are no men on this ship is because we are the Female Finnish Pirates or F.F.P. Since we are the female Finnish pirates it wouldn't make sense to have males on this ship. Now would it?" Claudia explained.
"AYE!!! AYE!!!"
"That makes sense I guess." Violet said. "But why are you female Finnish pirates? Why don't you include males?"
"Because we are feminists." The word feminist here means a group of women who believe in the power of women and think that men have too much power. They also, believe that men are taking away their power and that it's ridiculous that men would think women should stay at home and cook all day. "We hate men. They think they can rule the world and be the superior beings. But, really woman are better. It's just for some reason all these women in the world except it. So my mother Olga…" Claudia gestured at a large and rather ugly old lady behind her. "Decided to leave Finland, where many men were treating her disrespectfully and come to the last safe place for women. The wide open ocean. She brought many other feminists she had met in her life so the could sail the open seas finding all the unfortunate women of this world, give them a new life and destroy all the unfortunate, disrespectful men that came their way."
"AYE!!! AYE!!!"
"But you still haven't told us why you dress like pirates." Klaus reminded Claudia.
"I was getting to that!" Claudia spat out harshly.
"Aye…"
"Wait your turn to speak you fool!" Olga yelled as she walked up to Klaus.
"I-I'm sorry." Klaus stuttered.
"Be nice to Klaus!" Sunny yelled. Olga turned to Sunny and growled. As you may know, when an ugly, old and rather large lady growls at you, it's usually a good sign to keep your mouth shut. I know from experience not to talk back to Olga, because many times she decides to step on your feet and break all your toes. Although maybe that's just people who dump her.
"Mother! These are our guests! Please." Claudia reminded her mother. Olga glared at Klaus then dragged herself below deck. "Now the reason we dress like old time pirates is because…"
"It makes us look pretty?" A girl in the crew guessed.
"It strikes fear in the dirty, rotten men we find floating through the sea?" The mother of the girl guessed.
"Olga wanted us to?" The girl in the scuba diving costume asked.
"No!!! Because it shows the world that women can dress ferociously also!!!" Claudia shouted out.
"AYE!!! AYE!!!"
"Oh…" Klaus muttered.
"Cap'n Claudia, are you done yet with our guests?" The girl in the scuba diving suit asked.
"First mate, why must you interrupt this conversation?" Claudia sighed.
"It's important. I saw Squidy underwater while I was scuba diving. He's waiting to be raised up right now." The first mate said.
"Why does that voice sound so familiar?" Violet asked herself. Indeed, the voice of the teenager should've sounded familiar, because in one of the Baudelaires' many adventures, the three Baudelaires had spent much quality time with her. But sadly, Violet, Klaus and Sunny wouldn't recognize her until chapter four of this tale.
"SQUIDY??? CREW!!! BRING MY BABY BACK UP!" Claudia demanded.
"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted and scurried about the ship. A big crane attached to a rope which was attached to a wooden pole was dragged out to the side and dropped into the water. Three muscular women went to a lever and waited to pull it up. "First mate! Go get him!"
"Yes Cap'n." The first mate replied and dived over the side of the ship with a huge splash of water as she hit the water.
"What's a Squidy?" Sunny asked.
"I've heard of squids, but never Squidies…" Klaus said.
Claudia peered over the side of the ship and waited for the sign that the crane was ready to be pulled back up. The first mate swam back up to the surface and gave her a thumb up. "Bring it back up!" Claudia commanded the crew.
"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The three women by the lever strained and pulled the crane back up. The first mate scuba diver was holding onto the rope and jumped back up onto the ship when she was close enough. Attached to the metal crane was a red, giant squid that had sucked onto the metal. A jumble of red tentacles hung down from the squid creature named Squidy.
"Squidy! My baby! Have you found any treasure?" Claudia asked Squidy. Claudia was beaming with excitement. In this case though that does not mean that her friend excitement brought over a laser beam and that they decided to start beaming things for fun. In this case it means that she was very elated to see her pet squid return from the middle of the ocean where many dangers awaited, like the mysterious question mark shaped danger or the shark that had just been chasing Claudia's first mate before she climbed onto the ship.
Now right here there should be a reply to the answer of the question Claudia just asked her pet squid named Squidy. Although, as you probably know squids cannot talk. Or at least most of the squids I have met have not talked. There was one however that had a walky-talky on its back that made it seem as though it could talk. Although when I positioned a set of elaborately, clever placed mirrors so that I could see its back I knew instantly that it was a fake, talking squid. So instead of talking to answer the Captain's question, the squid raised one of its tentacles high up the air, which meant no.
"Have you found… A man?" Claudia asked.
"BOOO!!!" The various shouts of the Female Finnish Pirates rang out. Klaus, who was obviously embarrassed about being a male, even though we men have no way to help it, was looking down at his feet in shame.
The Squid answered Claudia's question by holding up two tentacles which signaled yes. With the confirmation of finding a man in the sea, all of the pirates moaned and groaned in dissatisfaction. While most people wouldn't have moaned and groaned just because a squid held up two tentacles, these pirates knew the secret language that Claudia and her beloved squid had created with each other so they could tell each other things they had figured out while exploring the seven seas and four oceans.
"And where is this man?" Claudia asked Squidy. Squidy lifted one of its slimy tentacles and pointed towards a small dot on the horizon. Everyone hurried over to the side of the deck and stared intently at the dot. "Thanks Squidy. LOAD THE CANNONS!!! Destroy whatever ship this man may be on."
"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted and scurried below deck.
"Why? For all you know he could be a very noble man!" Klaus' voice rang out.
"BECAUSE!" Claudia shouted back at him. "If we don't destroy the ships we find men on, they may come aboard fully armed with weapons. Who knows what they might destroy then."
"Prejudging!" Sunny shouted back. This indeed was prejudging. The conflict about whether the action of prejudging is a very complicated one. You may know that in some cases if a creepy looking man with an eye patch on his eye, drives up to you in a black van with tinted windows that is usually a good thing to prejudge and come to the conclusion that you shouldn't go up to him and search for the candy he is offering to you, that is in his trunk. Although prejudging can also, be a bad thing. For example I once met that man who was creepy looking and had an eye patch before he went around offering little kids candy in his black van with tinted windows. When he saw my tattoo that had been placed upon my ankle he prejudged me and thought that I was part of a very shameful group that started fires. He quickly ran away from me to tell the cops I was running loose in the town, little did he know I was part of the side of the organization that stopped those fires which were started by the other side of the organization which started fires.
Claudia looked at Sunny and thought about what she had said. For a moment, doubt flickered in her mind, though she quickly brushed the thought away and replied "Indeed it is. But, by saying we are prejudging men you are prejudging us and thinking that prejudging men makes us bad people."
Sunny looked at Claudia and thought about what she had said. For a moment, doubt flickered in her mind, though she quickly brushed the thought away and replied "Hmm… Indeed."
After a minute of the four castaways and the captain of the Finnish female pirates standing there silently, the first mate, who now had Squidy stuck on her back walked up to Claudia.
"May we fire now?" She asked.
"No! Wait until we're closer. If we fire now they'll be able to get away and we'll just be wasting ammo." Claudia replied turning away from the castaways, leaving them hanging. 'Leaving them hanging' does not mean that Claudia walked away from the four of them as they were hanging in a bird cage that was attached to a tower atop of an evil Count's run down house. In this instant it means more that she left the four of them without any direction of what to do while they seemed to be under her authority.
For what seemed like an hour to the four of them and just happened to be an hour and seven minutes, the four of them stood there wondering what to do. After an hour the four of them recognized the kind of ship that the man was floating upon. A small sail boat that had been washed into the middle of the ocean by a horrendous storm. The small boat had sails up but didn't seem to be going in any certain direction. Instead the passengers of the boat seemed to be below deck, letting the wind decided where they washed ashore. An hour and seven minutes after Claudia walked away from them she walked over to the side of the ship and stared at the ship. Finally she turned around and screamed to the crew below. "Fire at will!"
As a resounding boom filled the castaways' ears, they thought about the horrible situation they had just been in a few moments earlier. Just an hour and a half ago they had been peacefully floating on their homemade raft trying to signal the pirates. They stared hopelessly looking at the ship as it was bombarded with cannonballs. The shots each time came very close to hitting the ship. Each time massive waves rocked their boat. Surprisingly to the four castaways and the ferocious Finnish pirates, the passengers of the boat never came aboard their boat's deck to see what was going on.
In an instance it came. Saying 'in an instance it came' is a very attention grabbing sentence if you think about. If you're watching a scary movie and all the sudden a creepy man who knows a lot about the creepy house the main characters just escaped from says "In an instance it came!" You might expect to hear about what happened many years ago when the monster or ghost first attacked. If you're reading a suspenseful book where the main characters are waiting for their once faithful friend to tell them the truth about a mysterious sugar bowl and the author suddenly writes 'And then it came. The truth finally was coming out. Olaf was finally about to tell the truth about the sugar bowl that Beatrice had gotten away with right before the diamond store just across the street burnt down when Mr. Poe decided the owner of the store no longer deserved the store.' Then you would be very interested in not only the secret truth about the sugar bowl which is something I have been sworn to secrecy never to reveal, but also the reason why Mr. Poe would do such a horrible and treacherous thing. But, in this story it only means that a cannonball unfortunately smacked down on the boat and split it into a thousand pieces.
"No!!!" The four castaways that were standing on the ship cried out.
"It's for the good of the group." Claudia whispered to them from a few feet away.
"Not for their group, though." Sunny countered while gesturing towards the completely destroyed boat. The boat which had once been fully put together was now cracking into pieces. The Beatrice and the Baudelaire's quickly noticed three unfortunate souls who were holding bottles of wine, plummet into the water. One other man who was slightly less drunk than the rest of the men resurfaced quickly, after he had been pushed under.
"They're drunk! They'll drown!" Violet shouted. "Do you expect them to live?"
"Do you expect me to care? Men who let their whole crew get drunk in the middle of the ocean don't deserve to live. They're obviously bad people." Claudia replied calmly.
"Prejudgment." Sunny stated.
"Look who's talking." Claudia said to remind her that by saying she was a bad person by prejudging might be considered prejudging in itself.
"For all you know they could've just been celebrating escaping from evil and malicious pirates like you!" Klaus spoke up. Claudia shot him a nasty glare and Klaus quickly looked away.
The five of them turned their attention back to the drunken man who was floating on a piece of drift wood as cannonballs flew past him. Let me inform you that dodging cannonballs while being drunk isn't exactly an ideal way to spend your afternoon. While the Baudelaire's challenge was difficult, the experience this man had to endure was extremely worse. As I hope none of you know, when one is drunk it is harder to concentrate and the fact that cannonballs are flying at you doesn't exactly make things easy while you're floating on a piece of drift wood.
"I doubt that floating on a piece of drift wood while cannonballs are hurling at you is an ideal situation when you also happen to be drunk." Violet thought aloud.
"Doonk?" Beatrice asked. By this she probably meant something along the lines of what's drunk mean?
"It means your head hurts and you can't think as well." Violet lied, while also including a bit of truth.
"Like a headache." Sunny added in.
As the ship drew closer to the wreckage of the boat, Claudia slowly made her way towards the top deck. When they got close enough for the man to quickly swim over, Claudia shouted to her crew "Get up here!"
"AYE!!! AYE!!!" They shouted as they all left the cannons and came on deck.The girl in the scuba diving suit ran over to the side of Claudia. The red squid named Squidy still clung to her back.
"Shall we lower the life boats?" The first mate asked.
"I don't know. Let's think about that, shall we crew?" Claudia asked. "Think about it. This man is drunk. His mates, who were probably some of his best friends if he was sharing a lot of drinks with em', just died. In his present state he'll obviously be very hostile and want to get revenge for what we have done. Why should we let him on if we'll only end up having to kill him?"
"But won't he die either way? He'll drown if we don't take him up." The first mate reminded her.
"But then we'll save time. We'll also be ensuring our safety and saving us from having to murder him directly." Claudia said.
"But, he might not be hostile and might be a gentleman." A young girl in the crowd of the crew said.
"HAHA!!! GENTLEMAN??? You have no clue what you're talking about. Gentlemen don't exist! The only men who seem like gentlemen are only despicable men who try to get on our good side so we don't slap them when they try to hit on us." Claudia chuckled.
"That's a complete lie!" Klaus defended himself.
"Shut up!" Several crew members replied to his remark.
"Take this boy for example. He only tried to act polite at first so we wouldn't lock him up for all the treachery in the world he has caused. Although, now that he knows we don't like him either way, he doesn't care about being polite." Claudia remarked.
"That's not true!" Sunny yelled back at her. "Klaus is always polite to everyone, not to get on their good side, but because he's a good person!"
"What do you know? You're barely old enough to talk in complete sentences." Claudia replied.
"You're barely sane enough to not kill every man you see the minute you see them." Violet insulted Claudia.
"See what this male has done to these girls? This guy has turned a gentle and loving female like these three into ferocious and impolite animals." Claudia announced to the crew.
"Juck?" Beatrice asked and pointed towards the man who was suddenly drowning. By this she probably meant something like that man is now drowning!
"That man is drowning." Violet translated.
"We have to save him!" The first mate ordered.
"No!" Claudia refused.
As the argument of whether to save the man or not went on, Violet decided that if that man was going to be saved, she would have to save him herself. "Come on." Violet told her siblings. She rushed over to the life boat and started to jiggle the ropes and pulleys. Klaus and Sunny rushed over to help her.
"Don't worry. We'll have you up here in a minute." Klaus shouted down to the man.
"What are they doing?" Claudia asked. "STOP THEM!!!"
"AYE!!! AYE!!!" Half of the crew shouted and ran over to the three of them. Meanwhile Beatrice had tugged on one of Squidy's tentacles and was now playing a game of tickle fight with the red sea creature. Half of the crew hesitated and wondered if they should help the man get onto the ship or stop the three castaways who were trying to lift him up. Either way it was too late to change anything. The three siblings had gotten the man into the life boat and were now lifting him up.
"What… the… heck?" The man wondered aloud as he staggered onto the ship. To try and imagine his confused state as he staggered onto the ship, while you are sitting at home, peacefully reading this story is useless. Imagine this. You were having a drink with your buddies on a boat when all the sudden a cannonball comes crashing through your boat and you're tossed into the sea. As you drift through the sea cannonballs are being shot from a ship flying a flag with a pirate symbol imprinted on it. All the sudden a life boat is lowered down to you and you step inside. You're suddenly lifted up to a deck with a baby battling a squid, female pirates staring at you scared and angry, three kids staring at you with smiles on their faces and a woman standing in a scuba diving outfit. To top it off, you're drunk and everything makes less sense than usual.
"Lock our castaways up." Claudia ordered her crew.
"AYE!!! AYE!!!" The crew shouted and grabbed the Baudelaires and the drunken man.
"No trials?" The first mate in the scuba diving outfit asked.
"Not now. It's too dangerous right now. We'll deal with them later." Claudia replied.
"What's going on here?" The man stuttered.
"Shut up you filthy rat." Claudia replied and spat on him.
"How dare you!" The man replied flabbergasted. "You'll learn to… respect… your betters!" The man said, obviously drunk.
The crew quickly dragged the Baudelaire's and the drunken man down towards the brig deep within the ship. Luckily for Beatrice, no one had noticed her and the squid. The crew dispersed under the ship and Claudia headed towards the captain's quarters. Beatrice was left unwatched with a red squid. Beatrice stood up then fell back down on her knees and followed the Baudelaires below deck.
As the Baudelaires were leaded down through the smelly and damp passageways in the ship, the drunken man was busy trying to talk his way out of being locked up. The only thing had accomplished though, was to be slapped three different times. Tears streamed down the faces of the Baudelaires. They were crying because by leaving the only place they had ever found that was a peaceful one, they had been thrown back into a world of treachery once again. But, more importantly, they had all just realized that Beatrice had been left on deck unsupervised. This put them in a sticky situation.
By being in a sticky situation it doesn't necessarily mean that you are in a situation in which a sticky substance, like syrup or gum, has gotten stuck all over you. In this situation it meant that it was a hard situation to get out of and had many hard decisions to be made. If Violet, Klaus or Sunny were to remind the crew that they had forgotten Beatrice and left her above deck, their friend who was just a baby, would also be thrown into a cage full of cold and dirty water. On the other hand if they didn't remind them, then Beatrice would be very close to the edge of the ship which she could fall over and then her tiny baby screams would not be heard from down there. Luckily for them, they noticed the small figure of a baby that reminded them much of Beatrice, crawling after them.
The Baudelaires and the man were dragged down to the lowest room on the ship which was filled an inch up with dirty water. Beatrice quickly slipped through the door and hid behind a box hidden in the corner. The crew members opened the cage and gestured them inside.
"AND WHAT IF I DON'T WANTA GO IN???" The man screamed in their faces. The crew looked at each other and smiled. They put their hands on a something near their waste and pulled it out. The blades of swords came shining out lightning fast. A member of the crew raised their sword so it was right up to the man's neck.
"Must I really explain?" The lady said. Sinister giggles came from the rest of the crew as the man backed up into the cage, in fear. "You three! Get in there!
"Yes ma'm." Klaus said politely and quickly stepped inside, followed by Violet and Sunny. The crew giggled some more then slammed the barred door shut. They took out a set of keys and locked the door in place. The crew opened the door and slipped outside.
The man who was just a moment ago yelling in a furious rage, had now slumped to the floor in a deep sleep. "Beatrice? Are you there?" Sunny asked.
Beatrice stepped out from behind the box and replied "Depo." This probably meant something like I'm right here.