CHAPTER TWO
Their trek through the village was really more of a stroll. The sun climbed slowly into the midsummer morning sky, and the village of Bryn seemed nothing more than a sleepy hamlet. The four companions walked about a quarter-mile out of town, and it was not long before they came upon a grove of maple trees. There stood a small, unassuming cottage- the home of the wizards Andolyn and Gendrew.
Braun eyed the place suspiciously. No one seemed to be about, but there was a line of smoke ascending from the chimney. "Looks pretty peaceful," he said, hefting his axe.
"Something smells funny to me," Dorin said, wrinkling his nose.
"Like cooking," Prester observed.
"Aye," Dorin agreed, but his brow was furrowed. Something worried him. The dwarf was a bit of a cook himself, though his companions didn't know it, and when Dorin said something smelled out of place, he meant it literally. "It's baking, not cooking," he said cryptically. Dorin unlimbered his roundshield and strapped it to his arm. He pulled a heavy-looking dwarven warhammer from his belt. The dwarf took a few steps toward the cottage, then looked back over his shoulder, to make sure his companions were similarly prepared.
Braun already had his two-handed greataxe in hand, and Embeth had strung her bow and donned her thick leather gloves. Prester was staring at the cottage when Dorin strode up to the door and rapped on it with his knuckles.
When no answer came after several repeated attempts, Dorin tried the door. It swung open, and the four adventurers entered the silent cottage. They found themselves in a cozy sitting room. There was a large sofa and an overstuffed chair facing a fireplace in one corner, and a small reading table next to a window. On one side, an archway opened onto a hallway, and on the other side was another leading to a small dining room.
"The fireplace is cold," Dorin said, sticking a hand over the hearth. "The smoke we saw from the chimney must be coming from the kitchen."
Braun went to one of the archways and peered down the hall. He began to feel like a trespasser. Nothing seemed out of place, but the room was quiet and dark. "It must be down this way," he said.
Prester and Embeth went over to the reading desk by the window. The curtains were drawn shut, but the wizard spied something on the table- on open book lay on it.
"A book," he exclaimed. "I wonder- " Prester licked a finger and reached out to turn a page.
Suddenly, the booked lifted up a little, of its own accord. Before Prester could draw back his hand, the book slammed shut, hard, on the unsuspecting mage. "Ow!" Prester cried. He yanked his hand away, and the book flew up off the desk, flapping angrily. "Look out! It's animate!"
Embeth, who stood beside the wizard, had been reaching for the curtains, thinking to open them so Prester could get a closer look at the pages of the book. But when the thing slammed shut on the wizard's hand, the curtains rustled as well. The draw cord lashed out and wrapped itself tightly around her wrist.
"What the blazes?" Dorin asked. He whirled around, but as he did so the black iron poker that had been leaning up against the fireplace rose up and tried to stab him, but was turned aside by his dwarven ring mail.
Prester frantically swatted at the book, which fluttered and darted in midair, its pages flapping like a bird. "Get it off me!"
Dorin spun around and bashed the animated fireplace poker with his hammer. The blow connected, and the poker was sent flying against the wall, permanently bent. The dwarf chased the thing down and pounded it again. "Just to make sure you don't get up again."
Embeth cried out in surprise when the cord wrapped itself around her arm. She tried to yank it from the wall, but strong as she was, she couldn't break it. The middle of the cord rose up and tried to entangle itself around her neck. The elf was unable to reach her sword with her right hand, but with her left she grabbed a long knife from her belt and snapped the cord. Immediately, it went slack and the severed piece fell from her wrist.
Braun scowled and raised his big black axe over his head, almost brushing the ceiling. "Look out, Prester!" The young wizard barely managed to dodge out of the way before Braun's battle axe came down on the book, driving the object to the ground and chopping the thing cleanly in half.
They went hastily into the dining room, quickly surveying it for signs of trouble. Nothing seemed out of place, and none of the furniture rose up to attack them. The fine dining table was set for two, though there were four chairs. Braun eyed the silver candlestick warily. Dorin cautiously opened the drawer in a side cabinet, but seeing that it held only a box of fine silverware- including a few sharp-looking knives which fortunately remained quietly in their places- he shut the drawer again.
A large picture window provided a view of the trees outside, and beside that was another archway. "This leads to the kitchen," Embeth said.
The others followed her into what looked like a disaster area. Pots and pans were strewn about the well-appointed kitchen, with broken crockery littering the floor and ingredients of all kinds splattered on the walls. The pantry door was closed- held shut by a chair someone had propped under the knob.
"It's warm in here," Prester said, loosening the collar on his robes.
"It looks like someone was dragged from the room," Braun said, pointing to some tracks on the dirty floor. "Towards that hallway."
"There are other tracks here, too," Embeth said. "See them? They circle around the room, and end at this door." She looked at the others. "They're not human."
"Something's definitely odd here," Dorin agreed. "There's tomato sauce splattered here on the wall, but none of these containers held tomatoes." The dwarf turned to the stove, a sturdy iron potbellied affair, where he could hear a crackling fire. A pipe led up from the stove and out through the roof. "They left their stove alight," he said.
Suddenly, the door of the stove burst open, and a small, fiery creature leapt out. It had two points of bright blue flame for eyes. The thing flew straight at Dorin with a screech. The surprised dwarf was able to raise his shield at the last second, deflecting the thing's attack, but it still managed to singe his beard. "Look out! An elemental!"
Braun reacted swiftly, bringing his huge axe to bear in a brutal overhead swing. Had the thing been a mortal creature of flesh and blood, that blow would easily have split it in two, but instead the fire spirit danced aside and, for an instant two separate flames, pulled itself together again. It was not quite as large as it had been.
The fighter's axe bounced off the floor, shattering a piece of broken pottery before he could ready himself for another swing.
Embeth had never fought an elemental before, but she knew magic would harm the thing more than plain steel, so she drew her enchanted dagger instead of her sword. Lunging, she thrust the ancient elven blade into the heart of the creature of fire, wounding it.
Prester thought quickly. Fumbling in his pouch, he pulled out his water skin. Thankfully, he had remembered to fill it that morning. He split it open with his knife. "Look out!" He dashed the water full on the little elemental- and the dwarf.
The thing sputtered and then disappeared in a puff of steam, leaving only a soggy Dorin.
"Good thinking, Prester," Embeth said.
Dorin grumbled. His beard was soaking wet and still smoldering.
"At least you're not on fire any more," the wizard said.
"All right you two," Braun said. "We can discuss this later. But whatever's behind this, we'll find the answer behind that door." He pointed at the tracks on the floor, and the chair. "I'm not sure what tale these tracks tell, but let's get to the bottom of it. Dorin, open that door."
Nothing leapt out when they removed the chair and opened the door. Instead, they found a set of stairs which led down to the pantry of the absent wizards. The basement room look as if it had once been used to store provisions, but every shelf, barrel, box and crate was smashed to bits.
Standing in the center of the room was a creature that looked to be made entirely of pastry. Reddish smears marred its well-baked outer crust. The thing was massive, for a baked good- and it was as tall as Braun. With a bubbling growl, the strange construct charged the adventurers.
Embeth attacked immediately, slashing at the monster with her longsword. The golem seemed to have a hard outer crust, but the sharp edge of the elf-maiden's sword sliced and shattered. A substance that looked more like a thick tomato paste than blood spurted from the wound, splashing Embeth's face and neck with a burning hot sauce. The elf cried out in pain and turned aside, covering her face.
Braun took a step forward, hefting his battleaxe overhead. He would get revenge for what that thing had done to Embeth. He hacked deeply into the golem's shoulder, wounding it grievously, but he also got splashed by the burning sauce that coursed through the monster's inhuman veins.
"It's a construct of some sort," Prester marveled aloud. He'd never seen nor heard of such a creature, but its mere existence was an accomplishment of arcane proportions. Andolyn and Gendrew must be wizards of no small skill- not to mention pretty good cooks- to have constructed such a creature.
The wizard guessed that at least a hundred pounds of flour and cheese must have gone into it, not to mention the gallons of tomato sauce and the large quantities of salt, yeast and he knew not what else it would have taken. Why, it would take at least two hours of baking at well over four hundred degrees!
"What're you gaping at, wizard?" Dorin asked. The dwarf was carefully trying to sneak around the golem, thinking to bash it in the back of the knees, or where the knees should have been. "Blast the thing!"
That puzzled Dorin. This was not the first time he had broken into a wizard's home. The dwarf had heard of golems before- mindless automatons created by wizards to guard their lairs. But golems were made of steel, or stone, or even flesh. He glanced quickly around the devastated pantry. Everything that had once been stored there was all of the finest quality- flour and tomatoes, mushroom and olives, even oregano and black pepper. He thought back to all the times when he'd cooked by a campfire. "All the ingredients for making- "
The dwarf stared up at the inhuman creature. "By Dumathoin's Black Beard," he cried. "It's a calzone golem!"
With that, Dorin lowered the visor on his helm, to protect his face from the burning he knew was to come, and swung his hammer at the golem's leg.
The thing seemed to go berserk. It brought one giant fist down on Braun, who was standing over Embeth, trying to protect her. His sturdy Borderland mail absorbed some of the crushing blow, but still he was driven to his knees. And the thing gave off an enormous heat, like it had just come from some infernal oven.
It lashed out again, flailing in an uncontrolled rampage, knocking over more shelves and smashing a barrel with one giant, crispy footlike appendage. The golem turned on Dorin and landed a blow on his shield with enough force to fling the sturdy dwarf across the room.
Dorin landed in the corner, dazed. His helm was turned around, and for a few moments he saw stars dancing before his eyes. Then the dwarf righted himself and got to his feet. "Dang thing dented my shield," he said.
Braun managed to get back on his feet about the same time. He readied his axe for another swing. He glanced down at Embeth. "Are you all right?"
"Yes," she gasped, getting to all fours. She struggled to her feet. "I'll be fine."
Just then, the golem inhaled deeply, and it was like a fire being stoked. It exhaled sharply, and a noxious cloud came out of the head-like appendage. The stinging, reddish gas encompassed Braun and Embeth, burning their eyes and skin.
Prester, outside the immediate range of the thing's breath weapon, pulled a dagger from his belt. Rapidly speaking a few words of magic, he touched the knife then threw it with all his strength. His aim was true, and the dagger pierced the golem's protective crust and embedded itself to the hilt.
Braun and Embeth fought off the painful effects of the golem's breath and struck it with axe and longsword. Dorin added another solid blow from behind. The golem raged on a few moments longer, but it was weakening.
The four companions knew they had the upper hand. It was not long before they had chopped and pounded the thing back into dough. The small room filled with the acrid smell of burned crust.
"That was cursedly odd," Dorin said, leaning on his warhammer.
"No, it was amazing!" Prester exclaimed. "Why, just to think, how would one go about making such a creature? I'd love to meet the wizard who invented it! Why, I imagine it would require an artificer of at least the eighth- no, ninth- circle just to animate it. And you'd need, what? The grease spell, burning hands, stinking cloud…"
The others just looked at Prester like he was crazy, and scraped the rapidly-cooling tomato sauce from their weapons and gear.
"He's right about one thing," Braun said. "I'd like to meet the wizard who invented it, too."