Disclaimer: I don't own TT. Plain and simple. I also don't own "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas.
Chapter 3
As soon as the Titans got home, Robin called the doctor. "Hello, doctor," Robin said, picking up the phone. "I'd like you to come to the big T on that big island."
"I am right there," the doctor said.
So the doctor came. "Alright Mr. … doctor person. I need you to check out these three right here," Robin addressed him.
"Are you sure they're not already dead?" he asked, concernedly.
Robin, in a slightly irritated voice said, "No, they are not dead. They're just sick."
"Are you sure? She's disturbingly pale, he's green, and he's got all those metal parts attached to him."
"No, really. They're supposed to be that way."
"Yeah, whatever you say."
"Look, I just want to know if they're alright and how long they'll be out."
"You're pregnant, aren't you?" the doctor eyed him carefully.
"No, I'm not pregnant. I'm a boy!" Robin shouted.
"No, I mean you're the father," the doctor stated matter-of-factly. "Who's the mother?"
"No one!" he screamed. "I wasn't busy with anyone!"
"Then why are you stressed so much? Only pregnant teens would be as stressed as you are."
"It's my job! I'm not a father, and there is no mother!" Robin yelled with all his might.
"Oh, then you're gay," the doctor said.
Robin sighed heavily. "Look. I just want to know if my friends are okay."
"Mmhmm. Right. Okay, let's have a look at them." He checked them all in a different room
"How are they doc?" Robin asked as the doctor came out of the room.
"It seems that they might not be themselves," the doctor said. "What are they usually like?"
"Raven, the pale one is usually quiet, uncaring, alone in her room, gothic, and not caring of the latest fashion. Beast Boy, the green guy is vegetarian, likes comedy, makes jokes, says, 'dude' a lot, and wants Raven to smile. Cyborg loves machinery, jokes, eating, fixing stuff, and his music," Robin informed.
"Well, Raven has become preppy, the green guy is going goth, and this Cyborg is fine, but make sure he doesn't listen to loud music directly through head phones or radio waves since it can damage his circuitry."
"That's all?" Robin asked.
"Well, is she sick?" the doctor asked about Starfire.
"No, but"
"She's the one isn't she?"
"I told you I'm not pregnant!"
"Mmhmm. Oh, and your behavior might start changing. You might start acting like a big headed, conceited jerk."
Raven was able to mumble, "Doc, Robin is always a big headed conceited jerk."
"Well then. You'll be fine. Here's your bill."
Robin stared at the bill. His eyes widened in shock. "That much just for your stupid advice! Holy shi-,"
"Ahem, it would be wise if you didn't talk so loud," the doctor said.
"Fine." He reached into his belt and pulled out a credit card. "Here you go."
"Thank you. Make sure they get plenty of rest." And with that, he walked out.
"Ok guys, you heard him. Go rest."
They headed silently to their rooms. Robin closed his eyes for just one moment when all of a sudden,
"ROBIN!" Cyborg shouted.
He groaned and went to Cy's room. "Yes?"
"Bring me my iPod!"
"You're not supposed to listen with headphones."
"Oh, come on Robin. I need my 50 Cent and Kanye West!"
"I'm sorry Cy, but you can't."
"Well then what am I supposed to listen to?"
"Hey. Hey, don't worry. I'll rap for you."
Cy's eyes widened. "Uh, um," he said hastily, "you don't have to."
"Oh, don't worry about it. I don't mind."
"But you don't even have a beat!" he tried again.
"Don't worry. I always keep this around just in case." He pulled out a little tape recorder and pressed play. It produced a rhythmic beat. "Mmhmm," Robin rapped. "That's right. Here we go!"
"Yo my name is Robin, man
I'm so hot I'm like a frying pan
All my fangirls chased me in a van
While I tried to get a tan
In Afghanistan
As I searched for the Taliban! Word."
Cyborg was covering his eyes. "Please stop," he mumbled.
"I trained with the Batman
And learned to be spic-and-span
I like to play Pac-Man
With Cy, my friend and handyman,
Who's a Teen Titan, my clan,
As we eat lots of oat bran
I always got a plan
Throughout my whole life span
I ain't gonna be no madman
I'mma be a medicine man! Word."
"Robin?" Cyborg asked, agitated.
"Yeah? Was it good?" he wondered.
"Get out. White boys like you can't rap."
"What about Eminem?" Robin asked in a slightly higher voice than usual, putting three fingers upside down to form a letter M.
"He's good. You're not."
"Ok, ok," he rushed, trying to defend himself. "If not rap then, how about hip-hop?"
Cyborg was pleading with his eyes not to do it.
"I got it! Tribute to the Black Eyed Peas!" Robin decided confidently. Then, in a high voice trying to imitate Fergie, he sang,
"The girls, they think I'm sexy
They always wanna sex me
Always dancin' next to-,"
"GET. OUT," Cyborg said slowly and firmly.
"Hmmph. You're just jealous that I sound more like 50 than you do," Robin said, leaving.
Once he was gone. Cyborg was just all, "Ugh!"