Title: The Immediate Context of History
Author: Marcia Plome
Fandom: The West Wing
Characters: Jed/Leo, Jed/Abbey
Rating: M for language, allusions to a m/m relationship, and violent references
Disclaimer: The West Wing, its characters and storylines are the sole property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Bros. and NBC Television. What follows is for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.
Spoilers: Major for events seen in flashback during "An Khe"
Summary: Pre-administration, Jed rushes to Leo's side as he recovers from injuries resulting from being shot down and the aftermath.
Warnings: Angst, very major angst. Slash, but well within an M rating.
Archive: Absolutely, just let me know.

Jed settled back in his chair, both heartened and troubled by Dr. Hester's visit. On the one hand, the man was obviously an excellent physician, one that took the time to get to know his patients and treat the person, not just the disease. On the other, he was investing a lot of energy into Leo, and that just wasn't something you could do for every patient. Either he owed this Len Bock fellow more than just a bottle of scotch, or Leo's condition was dicier than anyone wanted to come out and say. He fell back into the comfortable ritual of his rosary as he waited for a nurse to bring him some ice.

When the gentle knock on the doorframe announced the presence of a young woman he hadn't met, Jed stopped, and dropped his beads back into his pocket. She smiled at him, "Col. Hester asked me to bring you a cup of ice chips. Do you want me to show you how to do it?"

Jed shook his head. "No. Thanks, but I just want to do this for him myself."

She handed him the cup and a small stack of paper towels. "Okay, just be sure that you're only wetting his lips, you don't want him to get very much water in his mouth or he might choke."

Jed nodded, "I understand, thanks."

"Call if you need anything, one of us can come help," she offered and then was gone, leaving Jed alone again, but finally with something he could do.

He pulled his chair a few inches closer to the bed, brushed his hand over Leo's forehead and through the close cropped hair above his ear. Wrapping an ice chip in a paper towel to get a better grip on it, Jed ran it lightly above Leo's upper lip, holding it just long enough to leave a wet trail that slid down onto the cracked surface. He watched as Leo's lips swelled slightly as they began to absorb the water. This was the most intimate moment they'd shared in months, and under different circumstances, it would have been powerfully erotic. Sitting here like this though, Jed was terrified that they'd never have an opportunity to explore that. He trailed the ice around Leo's mouth, stopping on a place where the lip was split. He left it there long enough to soak the scab off and blotted it away with a paper towel. Leo's lips were wet and shiny now and Jed ached for all the lost opportunities. He was so in love with this man, and this poor excuse for physical closeness was still enough to remind him of everything he'd missed for so long. Jed promised himself that when, and this time, he had to force himself to frame it in those terms, when Leo was better, he wouldn't miss another chance to tell his lover just exactly how sexy he could be. Jed had tried hard since Leo'd gone to be sure he took every opportunity to be certain the man knew how much he was loved, but there was so much he couldn't say in letters that had a dubious expectation of privacy. He wasn't going to lose him, he wasn't, but he still wished there was some way he could be sure that Leo realized just exactly how much he meant to him, and that he didn't have to face all of this alone. The ice had melted, and Jed sat there, holding the wet paper towel, and blinking hard to keep the tears from starting.

It was late, and the hospital was pretty well deserted, but even so, he couldn't risk letting himself say the things he needed to. It was too big of a risk to Leo's career, and he couldn't chance doing anything that would jeopardize his own tenuous access to the hospital. He had to believe Leo knew, but he looked over his shoulder into the hallway before bending over Leo. His lips against Leo's ear, he whispered, "Good night, old friend. Remember I love you." With that, he picked up his bag and left for the night, stopping briefly at the nurses station to let them know he was leaving.

Breakfast Saturday morning was a cup of coffee from the front desk at the hotel and a donut from a box at the nurses' station. Jed was tired, and the six hours of sleep he'd gotten didn't seem nearly enough. He was still pretty bleary eyed as he made it into Leo's room, and seeing him still lying there restrained did nothing to help his mood. "Morning Leo. I'm back." Jed stood just inside the door for a moment, sipping his coffee and studying his friend. The awful stillness from the previous days was gone. Leo seemed closer to awareness, moving slightly every ten or fifteen seconds. Nothing demonstrative or controlled, exactly, just a hand brushing against his side, his head turning on the pillow, curling the toes of his right foot. Jed thought this should be a positive sign, but instead, he felt like it was just a indication Leo wasn't comfortable. Taking his seat again, he ran a hand over Leo's forehead, trying to smooth away the line there. His lover felt warm to his touch, which wasn't new to this visit, but made the alarm bells go off in his head again. "You feeling worse today, Leo?" He didn't get a response, but took a few moments to try to comfort him with a gentle touch on his arm, and a caress to his temple. Still concerned, he went back to the nurses' station. Nurse Ferguson was sitting there, collating some charts. "Good morning," he greeted her.

She looked up with a smile, "Good morning Mr. Bartlet. Is there something I can do for you?"

"Actually, yes. Dr. Hester said I could have some ice chips to wet Leo's lips. That it might help make him a little more comfortable. He seems restless this morning, and I wondered where I could find some ice," he explained.

Lieutenant Ferguson blinked once at his description of Hester's words, and then got up. "I'll bring some in for you. Just give me a minute."

He nodded his thanks and returned to Leo. Flipping open the newspaper, he began reading it aloud just to have something to say. He'd only gotten through the front page when Nurse Ferguson brought him a cup of ice.

She handed him the ice and moved to Leo's other side. "He does look a little more flushed." She looked at his chart briefly and then ran through a quick vitals check. Noting the results, she turned back to Jed, "I'm changing his vitals checks to every half hour. Go ahead and help him out with the ice, one of us will be back in just a little while."

Jed wrapped an ice chip in a paper towel again and held it to Leo's lips. "Easy, Leo. I'm here."

Leo stirred, aware that someone was trying to give him some water. More than that, he'd heard his name, and that meant someone here knew him. Someone knew him and would take his name home. Someone could tell Jed what had happened to him. He tried to swallow and found that his throat felt like he'd been gargling razor blades. The pain that seemed to have been receding minutely over the last few times he'd managed some semblance of awareness was back with a vengeance now. His stomach burned like someone had poured acid over him. At first he thought maybe he'd just gotten that hungry, but no, this was way beyond that. He felt like there was a hole in his side and his guts were coming out. He wanted to curl into a little ball, anything to ease that fire. He knew he should try and bear up, not let on how badly he was injured, try to avoid giving his captors more ammunition with which to hurt him. Still, the pain was beyond that now, and he couldn't stop himself from the little distracting motions as wave after wave of it washed over him. Things were clearly getting worse. For all that his side was on fire and his leg still felt like it had been run through a meat grinder, he was freezing. He didn't think it would be long now, and the realization that he'd gotten his name out meant he could stop fighting it. He was going to lose this battle, that had never really been in question, but now that they knew him, he could look forward to an end of the pain instead of panicking that he would die here, unknown and unmourned.

Both Ferguson's comment and her tone made Jed nervous. Leo didn't seem that much worse, just more aware of his condition maybe. He moved the ice around Leo's mouth again, trying to convince himself that his lips looked marginally better than when he'd done this the night before. Dr. Bauer walked in while Jed was still trying to do something to make Leo feel better. Jed tensed, the last thing he needed right now was another confrontation with the doctor.

"Good morning," Bauer's tone was courteous, if cool. He picked up Leo's chart and scanned it, before repeating the vitals checks himself. Making a quick note he turned back to Jed. "Captain McGarry's fever and blood pressure are both elevated beyond yesterday's levels. I'm ordering another dose of acetaminophen, but indications are that the infection is not responding to the antibiotics. Someone will be by in another half hour and we'll reevaluate then." Bauer left without waiting for a response.

Jed tried not to let the panic sweep over him, but Bauer's level of concern made it difficult to ignore. The man was a poor excuse for a physician, and had shown no regard for his patient's comfort. That he was reacting so decisively to Leo's condition only intensified Jed's feeling that things were moving from critical to crisis. Another nurse came in momentarily with a syringe that she quickly added to Leo's IV. Jed just nodded to her and went back to his vigil by Leo's beside.

The next several checks were less eventful, with Nurse Ferguson or one of the other nurses just popping in to check Leo's vitals and make notes of them. Their professionalism didn't waver, and though there was an air of increased seriousness building, there was nothing overt to support Jed's belief that things were getting dramatically worse.

That changed when Dr. Bauer returned just after eleven. He did another vitals check himself, and took a quick look at the chart. Then walking back out into the hall he called for a nurse. It was Nurse Ferguson that appeared in the doorway moments later. "Yes, Captain?"

"McGarry's condition is deteriorating. Bring me a dressing kit, I need to take a look at this leg," he ordered.

"Yes, sir," Lieutenant Ferguson responded, hurrying off to get the required supplies.

"What's going on?" Jed asked.

Bauer frowned at the question, "Despite ongoing administration of Vancomycin, Captain McGarry's fever is rising from already elevated levels. We pushed antipyretic drugs this morning, and his fever has continued to go up. I have to believe that the infection in his leg is getting worse. I'm going to examine the wound, and then I should be able to give you a better idea of what our next steps will be."

Jed nodded, resigned to wait in silence for Nurse Ferguson's return. He moved back to lay a hand on Leo's shoulder, in an attempt to comfort his friend, but equally aware of the possessive stance he was striking.

Ferguson returned shortly with a tray of dressing material and Bauer pulled on surgical gloves in silence. He unwrapped Leo's leg and discarded the soiled dressings. Even from his place at Leo's shoulder, Jed could see the angry red lines running towards his knee, and the sickly sweet smell of gangrene made itself known again.

Bauer stepped away for a second and then, shaking his head briefly, moved back. He examined Leo's leg, his cool manner doing nothing to impede his thoroughness. After an interminable length of time, he finally wrapped the leg again. "This is dramatically worse. Lieutenant, I want you to bring some ice bags in here for his pulse points. I'm going to schedule an OR. The infection is clearly spreading and we need to go ahead and amputate before it goes systemic."

Jed heard what he said, he'd known he was going to hear that word sooner or later, but he'd allowed himself to put off his response. But hearing it aloud now, he knew what he had to do. He knew what Leo would want. "No."

Bauer swiveled to look at Jed, "What?"

"No, you aren't going to amputate his leg. He's still got a chance that the fever might come down, right? And you said that the infection hasn't gotten systemic yet. So you aren't going to amputate the leg." Jed's voice was firm, and though there was a level of electricity humming through his veins, he didn't waver in his decision.

"I don't know who you think you are, but I'm his surgeon, and I'm making the best decisions I can for his treatment. We need to go ahead and move forward with this," Bauer replied.

"I'm the one holding his power of attorney," Jed offered up a quick prayer of thanks that he'd had the foresight to keep Leo's envelope with him at all times, "and I'm the one that has to sign an informed consent form before you can do anything. And I won't. Not for that. Not while there are any other alternatives."

Bauer's jaw tightened, "You understand that if the infection goes systemic, he'll die? This isn't something you can mess around with. We need to go ahead and do this now."

Jed shook his head. "No. Treat the fever, treat the infection, do what you can for the leg, but you aren't going to amputate. That's not what he would want."

Nurse Ferguson spoke up, "Captain, without a signed consent form they won't let you book the OR."

Irritated, Bauer turned to her, "Do you think I'm unaware of that Lieutenant? Go get me those ice bags!"

Ferguson left, compliant but not intimidated, and Bauer turned back to Jed. "Fine, have it your way. We'll give it another hour and then you'll see. But if he dies, it's not going to be on my head." With that he stormed out.

Jed was too spun up to sit, and paced around the room, the panic setting in as the adrenaline wore off. The choice between Leo's leg and his life was an easy one, but despite Dr. Bauer's comments, Jed just didn't feel like they'd gotten to that point yet. Bauer didn't inspire the easy confidence that Dr. Hester did, and Jed felt like he was rushing to judgment. He pleaded with his friend, "Leo, wake up. Don't make me do this to you. Come on, old friend, please."

Nurse Ferguson returned shortly with several bags of ice. She packed them into Leo's armpits and groin, and raised his head to put one behind his neck. Jed ground his teeth and watched this take place. Finished, she looked up at him, "Jed? Listen, I know it's not my place, but I can see you must be sick over all this. I just want you to know that sooner or later, you're going to have to listen to Captain Bauer. He's not exactly giving a demonstration on good bedside manner, but he's right. If the infection goes systemic, Captain McGarry will die. Please don't let Bauer's attitude be the reason you dig in your heels over this."

He was submerged in pain now. He was surrounded by it, owned by it. Leo wanted to scream, or cry or just beg them to let him go now. None of those things were befitting an American officer though, and so he didn't let himself even consider them. There was no missing that the level of activity had increased dramatically over the last few times he'd been awake. That couldn't bode well for him, they were probably prepping for another big session and Leo could only hope that the end would be quick. Painless was already out of the question.

Jed continued pacing intermittently. There were people in and out often enough now that he couldn't develop a good rhythm and he was completely lacking the necessary privacy to either sit down and pray or to try to tell Leo all the things he wanted to say. He tried to stay out of the way, but was grateful no one had asked him to leave this time.

Dr. Bauer returned within the hour and did the most comprehensive exam Jed had witnessed. In addition to looking over the leg again, he checked the wound on Leo's side and palpated his ribs. Jed heard Leo hiss with pain. Bauer checked his reflexes and shined his penlight in Leo's eyes. Leo moved his head against the pillow, trying to avoid the bright light. Pulling a tongue depressor from a canister on the exam tray, Bauer checked his throat. Finally, he peeled his gloves off and sat down to note the results. Finished, he looked up at Jed. "The fever isn't dropping. There's no reason for his continued deterioration except the infection in the leg. His temperature is approaching 104. If you wait much longer, his brain will be tapioca even if I do manage to save him." Bauer looked over Jed's shoulder for a moment and paused. "Look, I'll give you a minute with him, but this isn't something we can stall on for much longer." He cleaned up the detritus from the exam and shut the door behind himself on the way out.

Jed knew that Bauer was doing what his training as a surgeon called for, and appreciated the moment of privacy he'd been allowed. He took Leo's hand in his, uncomfortable with the heat coming off his friend, and very aware that he literally held his friend's life in his hands at the moment. This wasn't a decision anyone should ever have to make for a loved one, much less a man as young and active as Leo was. Jed knew there was no one else Leo would want making these decisions, and he knew Leo trusted him implicitly to make the right ones. Jed wished he felt worthy of that confidence. He felt utterly alone with his responsibilities and had nothing to go on but the knowledge that Leo was a risk taker, and would think virtually any risk that gave him a chance at keeping his leg worthwhile. Something instinctive told him that they weren't out of options yet, and his instincts about Leo were something he'd come to place a lot of faith in over the years.

Dr. Bauer knocked before letting himself back into the room. "I have the consent form. Can we proceed now?"

Jed shook his head. "I'm sorry, I'm just not convinced this is what he'd want."

Bauer blew out a breath of frustration. "Mr. Bartlet, alive with one leg is better than dead with two, and he'd tell you that himself if he were awake. Prosthetics these days are really good, he'll be able to do almost everything able-bodied men can. Even if he did manage to keep the leg at this point, he'd probably never walk on it. Rehabilitation will likely be simpler for him after an amputation than it would be if he were to keep what's left of it now."

That piece of information hit Jed hard, that Leo might not be able to walk again, even if he did keep his leg. He studied the floor for a moment, wavering. Finally, he looked up and studied Dr. Bauer. "Have you done absolutely everything you can for him without amputating?"

Capt. Bauer clenched his jaw. "Amputation is the best option now. It gives him the most positive outcome and it prevents further complications."

"That's not what I asked," Jed persisted.

"Look, I can do another debridement, try to remove the necrotic tissue in his leg that's causing the infection to spread. But I have to tell you, the only thing that's going to do is further compromise his prognosis for regaining any use of the leg," Bauer countered.

"Do it," Jed replied.

Bauer glared at him, "The best option at this point is to amputate. I wouldn't be doing my job as his surgeon if I didn't tell you that. Debridement might buy a little more time, but that's all it's going to do."

"Do it," Jed repeated.

Bauer stood sharply and strode out of the room without a word.