He forced himself awake. He had been dreaming of
Veronica again. He rubbed a hand against his
stubbled head and glancing over at his sleeping
wife Anna, he slipped silently from beneath
the thin blankets.
He shut the door quietly,
so as not to disturb her and padded barefoot in to
the living room. LJ lay sprawled on the couch
sleeping, the television playing at low volume.
Pausing briefly, he stared down at his son.
He felt a surge of love rush through him,
as he thought how proud he was of LJ.
He would be going back to school soon.
The summer was almost over. This would be LJ's
2nd year studying law. When Lincoln had asked him
why he wanted to be a lawyer, he had simply said,
"So I can help people, Dad". He knew LJ had stopped
himself before saying, "like Veronica".
LJ had been hurt by V's death. He knew how much
he had cared for her, how much she had affected
his son's life, all of their lives.
LJ was an amazing young man. Veronica would be
so proud, he told himself as he continued silently
on his way to the back door.
He slid the patio door open and not bothering
to put on his shoes, he stepped out onto the deck.
He always came here after dreaming of Veronica.
Somehow the fresh air seemed to help clear his head.
He placed his hands on the deck railing
and took a deep breath,
as the night air caressed his bare skin.
It had been 3 yrs. since his exoneration. 3yrs.
since he had lost her.
He knew he needed to let her go. That he needed
to get on with his life. And that was what he had
been trying to do. He had found a wonderful woman
to share his life with. Anna, who was both thoughtful ,
and caring. She just wasn't...No, he told himself.
He shouldn't compare Anna to Veronica. It wasn't fair.
Anna deserved better. She shouldn't have to compete
with the memory of a dead woman.
His thoughts then went back to the last
conversation he had had with Veronica.
She had spoken with such conviction telling him
she had found Steadman...'alive'. That he needed
to turn himself in. That he would be exonerated.
And then those last heart wrenching words...
"Oh, my Gd"...followed by gunshots..
He squeezed the deck railing, heedless of splinters,
his knuckles turning white. They had never found
her body. She had never been laid to rest.
He had never had the chance to say goodbye...
That was what bothered him the most.
He should have been able to say
goodbye to her...his best friend.
He squeezed his eyes shut and gave in to
the tears, his body shaking in his silent pain...
He felt her arms wrap gently around him from behind.
And she rested her head between his shoulder
blades, as she hugged him to her. She was trying to
comfort him, his Anna.
She pressed her lips softly against his bare skin,
as he leaned in to her embrace. He took his
hands from the railing and placed them over hers.
They felt so small, much smaller than he knew
Anna's hands to be. He felt his breath catch as
her hair moved against his skin.
Hair much longer than Anna's.
Hair like...
He was afraid to let go of her, afraid to
turn around. But he had to see he, he had to know.
he brought her hands gently to his lips
and kissed them.
Then letting them drop, he closed his eyes
and turned around.
He forced himself to open his eyes, to look at her.
But when he did, there was no one there.
She was gone.
But he knew that she had been there.
Veronica had come to comfort him once again.
Despite what he thought now, he knew that
in the morning he would convince himself it
had all been a dream...
The next morning he awoke to the delicious
aroma of blueberry pancakes. He smiled.
He knew LJ must have had some part in the
breakfast preparations. He rolled out of bed
and headed for the
shower. He turned on the water and as he waited
for it to heat up,
he flexed his muscular arms, admiring himself
in the mirror.
He decided he must be feeling silly this morning
as he struck pose after pose like a bodybuilder,
for his own amusement.
His body was turned sideways when he noticed it.
Standing frozen in a silly pose, he stared at it.
They were faint, but visible. Lip prints...lipstick prints.
His mind raced. Maybe Anna had kissed him
before heading down to start breakfast?
But, no. Anna rarely wore lipstick, and never
such a dark shade. He sank to the floor as the
bathroom filled with steam.
It hadn't been a dream...she had really been there.
Veronica had come to him last night.
Oh, Gd how he missed her!
He sat there with tears running down his face,
as the smell of blueberry pancakes grew
stronger in the steamy air.
They would be calling him down to breakfast soon.
He told himself to get up, and into the shower,
but he couldn't move.
Then he looked up at the steam fogged mirror
and his heart ached like never before.
Written in the steam were three words...
"Goodbye my love"...
"Goodbye Veronica", he whispered into the steam,
as the words slowly faded away...