Title: The Immediate Context of History

Author: Marcia Plome

Fandom: The West Wing

Characters: Jed/Leo, Jed/Abbey

Rating: M for language, allusions to a m/m relationship, and violent references

Disclaimer: The West Wing, its characters and storylines are the sole property of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells Productions, Warner Bros. and NBC Television. What follows is for entertainment purposes only and no copyright infringement is intended.

Spoilers: Major for events seen in flashback during "An Khe"

Summary: Pre-administration, Jed rushes to Leo's side as he recovers from injuries resulting from being shot down and the aftermath.

Warnings: Angst, very major angst. Slash, but well within an M rating.

Archive: Absolutely, just let me know.

Leo had heard voices, but still wasn't sure enough of his surroundings to want to give himself away.

"All right Captain, can you open your eyes for me?"

The voice wasn't altogether unfamiliar, but Leo couldn't place it. Still, he knew the tones of a senior officer when he heard them, and he opened his eyes a little. The man he saw was in scrubs, older and somewhat haggard looking.

"Son of a bitch! I don't remember the last time I was this wrong about a patient. Son, it's good to have you back with us," the doctor said.

Leo tried to smile. He didn't have that much experience in hospitals, but he figured any doc that greeted his patients with 'son of a bitch' must be a pretty okay guy.

"I'm Col. Hester. I'm supervising your care. Col. Bock would want me to tell you that all the guys at Tahkli are pulling for you." He'd pulled a physician's stool up to the bed. "All right, I need to run through a couple of quick checks. Can you squeeze my hand?" he asked, holding Leo's in his.

Leo tried, sure that he wasn't squeezing as hard as an infant could, but happy to be able to do that much, and happy to be doing it in an American hospital with an Air Force doc. Hester repeated the tests on the other side, and then had him wiggle his right toes. He didn't ask anything about the other leg, a fact that didn't escape Leo's attention.

"All right, I need to take a quick look at your eyes. This will be a little uncomfortable, but only for a minute." Taking his penlight out, he shined it in each of Leo's eyes.

Leo forced himself not to flinch away from the light. True to Hester's word, it started a sharp headache, but he was quick and the pain faded as Leo lay there with his eyes shut again.

"Doing great, Captain. Now I need to ask you a couple of questions. Can you tell me your name?" Hester asked.

Leo opened his mouth, but his throat was so dry he couldn't form the words. He mouthed them, "McGarry, Leo T."

Hester smiled and made a tick on a chart. "Throat's pretty dry, I imagine. We'll get you something for that in just a minute. Do you know where you are?"

Leo looked up, trying to indicate he wasn't entirely sure, and mouthed, "Hospital."

"Yes, on Travis AFB, in California." Hester clarified. "Okay. Do you know what day it is?"

Leo had no idea. They gone up for that mission, what the 10th? He wasn't even sure about that, and he had no clue how long it had been since then. "May?" he mouthed.

"May 18th," he looked at his watch, "well, 19th now. Do you know who the president is?"

Leo knew, some fucker had shot Jack Kennedy and they were stuck with a man who didn't know what to do with the office. With no voice, his options to show disdain were limited, but he tried to sneer as he mouthed the letters, "LBJ."

Hester smiled, whether at the answer or the expression, Leo couldn't be sure. "All right Captain, it seems like you're back with us. I have to tell you, it was a near thing. I'll have them take you back downstairs to your room and I'll be in to check on you later this morning. Do you have any questions for me?" Hester asked.

Did he have any questions? That was a laugh, but with no voice, and already worn out from the exam, he settled on the one thing he had to know. Raising his eyebrows to indicate his confusion he mouthed, "POW?"

Hester's expression fell. "No, son. You weren't captured. They picked you up and took you to Udorn, and from Udorn here. Your bear got out too, Bock tells me he was treated for dehydration and cuts and bruises and he's already been up in the air again."

Leo blinked at that, nothing made sense, if he hadn't been captured, he needed a lot of things explained. The rest of the colonel's words made it through his murky consciousness and Leo huffed a sigh, Kenny was okay, God, what a relief. He closed his eyes, trying to grab at the slippery threads of understanding enough to press for more details, but felt a hand on his foot, and heard the colonel's voice again, this time the tone one of gentle reassurance, "You rest. We'll talk more later." Leo tried to thank him, but suddenly found himself too exhausted to even open his eyes.

Jed had gone to the third floor nurses station for coffee, reckoning the time spent getting down there would probably still be less than tracking things down on the surgical floor. Then he'd had to make a pot, since supplies in the middle of the night were pretty scarce. By the time he headed back towards the elevator, he met two orderlies pushing Leo's gurney out. Deciding he'd find Dr. Hester later, he followed them back to Leo's room. Leo looked small on the gurney, and there were still tubes everywhere. They must have hung new bottles of fluids, Jed knew the other ones had been getting low. He watched uneasily as they transferred Leo back into his bed, noting that someone had cleaned the room and put new sheets on since they'd gone upstairs. Leo stirred fitfully but didn't really wake as he was resettled on the bed.

Leo woke when they moved him, he thought maybe Col. Hester had topped off his pain meds, because he didn't hurt as much as he expected to. It was a little uncomfortable, but just the knowledge that no one was doing it to him on purpose helped. He lay against the sheets, promising himself he'd never take being dry and warm and clean for granted again. He felt a hand slip into his, knew by touch it was Jed. So he'd finally woken up, had he? If things had been half as close as Col. Hester had implied, his friend was going to be a basket case when he realized Leo was awake. Deciding a little diversionary tactic was in order, he summoned his voice, knowing full well he could send Jed for water if he could just get through this. Name, rank, and serial number. That ought to be enough to get Jed's attention, and the military routine would be sufficiently different from what he was used to that it should forestall any emotional outpourings. "McGarry, Leo T. Captain, USAF. 472579016." He opened his eyes to see the fear in Jed's eyes. Shit, he'd been going for a distraction, not trying to cause the anguish he could see there now. He'd never do anything to hurt Jed intentionally, and the depth of feeling he had for the man hit him all over again. "Jed." He told himself it was just that his throat was dry and ragged, but he knew his voice would have cracked with the emotion regardless.

Not the POW mantra, not back there, not after all of this. And then he heard him say it, and sure enough, when Jed looked there was a light in Leo's eyes he'd feared he might never see again and that McGarry smirk looked almost like it used to. He'd never wanted to kiss him and punch him quite simultaneously before. He settled for touching his forehead to his lover's and choking out, "Leo."

Still just too exhausted to really move, Leo pushed against Jed just enough that his friend knew all the emotion in that gesture was mutual. When Jed finally pulled back, Leo mouthed, "Water?"

Jed nodded, wiped his sleeve across his eyes, and went to find Dr. Hester. He found him at the nurses' station, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "I'm sorry, I had a cup to bring up to you, but I caught them bringing Leo down and I just wanted a minute with him."

Hester waved off the apology, "Don't worry about it. He was awake for you?"

Jed nodded, knowing his grin probably gave away more of his emotions than was strictly necessary. "He asked for some water. I just wanted to check with you to be sure that's okay."

"Sure, that's fine. Get a cup with a straw from one of the nurses. You'll probably have to hold it for him. Remind him to go slow, he hasn't had anything in his stomach for a while," Hester instructed.

Leo was dozing slightly, not really asleep, just letting himself float in this new comfort. He heard Jed return and tried to smile.

"You still want some water?" Jed asked.

Leo nodded slightly, tried to reach for the cup and didn't have the strength.

Prepared both for the attempt and the failure, Jed held it for him so Leo could get to the straw, "Here you go, I've got it for you."

For all that he was baked dry, he only got a couple sips in before even that little effort had him tired. It was enough to wet his throat, and though it hurt to talk, he found his voice. "Sorry. Can't manage on my own." His words didn't flow with the ease he expected, but rather caught and hitched. He didn't remember ever having felt this helpless, and he hated it, even with Jed.

Jed's eyes flashed in a familiar sign of emotion, "Don't you dare apologize, Leo. Don't you dare. You don't know what these last few days have been like. I'll hold your water glass for the next fifty years if that's the cost of getting you back."

Leo could tell Jed was at the end of his rope emotionally. He wondered what exactly he'd put his best friend through, but knew better than to ask yet. "You okay?" he asked.

Jed smiled, so like Leo to ask about him while literally just off his deathbed. "I'm better now that you are, but God, Leo, it was close."

Leo knew they would need to have this conversation later, when he wasn't quite so tired, and after he'd had a chance to figure things out better, but he still needed to say it now. "Jed, thank you."

Jed blinked, the emotion behind Leo's words having caught him off guard a little. He couldn't do this now, all the feelings of fear and loss were still to close to the surface. "Abbey sent me," he tried to joke. "I think she just wanted me out of the house for a while."

Leo ignored his friend's weak attempt at diversion, and moved his hand on the bed a little, hoping Jed would understand the unspoken request.

He did, of course, and covered Leo's hand with his own. Getting serious again, he went on, "Speaking of Abbey though, if you're okay on your own for a while, I need to call her and tell her you're all right."

Leo nodded, "Go."

Jed squeezed his hand gently, careful of the IV lines, and stood, "I won't be long."

Leo watched him leave, and pondered what he'd said. His friend was projecting a sense of urgency about talking to his wife that implied he'd pretty well told her to sit by the phone and wait, as it wouldn't be long. Phone calls to London weren't made trivially, and the fact that Jed had called Abbey in the middle of the night was so out of character that Leo was beginning to get a sense for how dire things must have been. He had a feeling he'd only glimpsed the edges of the situation, and he hated that he'd put Jed through that.

When Leo opened his eyes at the sound of footsteps, it was to see Col. Hester walking in, not Jed. "I just wanted to be sure you were situated." Seeing the cup of water on the tray by the bed, he offered it to Leo.

Leo tried to lean towards it, but Hester had it in position with the ease of long experience. He got another few small sips and let go of the straw. "Sir."

Hester smiled in response, "You can drop the 'sir' stuff for tonight. How are you feeling?"

Leo appreciated the permission to forego protocol, he was awfully tired, and stringing words together was hard enough. Keeping them properly framed in military parlance might be beyond his ability tonight. He took a moment to consider the question. There was some pain, but nothing like what there had been before. He was safe and home and being taken care of, so complaining seemed ungrateful. "Okay. Tired. Confused."

"Understandably. It'll be a while before you get your strength back. We're going to give you another pint of blood, and that'll help some. As far as the confusion goes, how much do you remember?" Hester asked.

Leo shook his head, he was lost as to what had been real and what had been the workings of his broken mind and he was too tired to try to sort through the difference now. "Not sure."

"It's okay," Hester reassured him. "Hard to sort out the real nightmares from the fever nightmares, eh?"

Leo nodded, grateful not to have to explain things, and impressed with the doc's understanding of the situation.

"All right, let me give you the rundown then. You were on a mission to neutralize SAM sites on Pack 6. You took fire and were going down. Somehow, you managed to destroy the target before punching out." Hester looked expectantly at Leo.

He remembered that much. He expected they'd still want to debrief him on it at some point, but right now, he just wanted to know what had happened after that. Leo wished he'd get to the rest of it. He raised his eyebrows, hoping the colonel would take the hint.

Hester caught it. "Okay, you don't have to tell me about it, but I'll tell you a lot of your guys over there are pretty impressed with your dedication to the mission." Leo rolled his eyes, and Hester continued, "It took three days before they could get in there with a RESCAP."

Leo took this in. He knew Hester was glossing over things there, he remembered Kenny bandaging his leg, he remembered a lot of blood. He remembered begging Kenny to leave him. He remembered lying under piles of leaves, waiting for Kenny to come back, hoping he wouldn't, hoping he'd gone ahead and left him, waiting for the NVA to find him, waiting to die.

Hester was still talking, "hit while they were winching you up."

Leo waved a hand to stop him, "Wait. What?"

Hester reached for him, his hand on his wrist. "You're all right to hear this?" he asked, concerned. "If you're fading on me, we can talk later."

Leo shook his head, "No sir. Go ahead."

"The NVA ambushed the rescue, and you were hit in the abdomen while they were winching you up into the chopper. They got you to Udorn for immediate treatment, and they sent you from there to Cam Ranh Bay. They decided the best thing for you was to send you home right away, and that explains how we got the pleasure of your company," Hester explained.

That wasn't the whole story, Leo knew. Guys didn't get sent home like that, that just wasn't the way it worked. Whatever it was, it would come out later, and it remained that whatever the rationale had been, he was home now, worrying too much about the how and why wasn't a smart use of his energy. He'd gone from hiding in the jungle to shuttling from one military hospital to another. All the horror and fear of the POW camp had been the infection wreaking havoc in his mind. All the torture, the drownings, the beatings, being choked, his leg being hacked on, he'd imagined it all. He had a visceral memory of rats, and he pondered how twisted his psyche had to be to have visited that particular delusion on him. The only thing worse than going through that was realizing that he'd done it to himself.

Hester looked at him like he might be waiting for a response, but seemed satisfied that Leo was content to just listen and process. "We went after the infection in your leg with some pretty high powered antibiotics, but it had a jump on us from all that time you spent on the ground over there. The intestinal repair they'd done in DaNang had failed, and the resulting peritonitis was hiding behind the leg. Your condition was pretty dicey, and I went into surgery without a lot of hope. I have to tell you son, you gave an old doctor a new belief in the stubborn hold you pilots have on life."

Leo smirked, he'd paid his dues into the fighter pilot fraternity, and he was proud to take ownership of all the personality traits they were alleged to have. "Happy to help, sir." This conversation was a lot to absorb, and he needed some time to think.

Hester put a hand on Leo's foot. "We can talk more over the next few days if you need more details. Anything we can do for you now?"

Leo felt grimy. He wanted to stand under hot water for an hour and scrape off the layers of dirt and indignity. Knowing that was out of the question at the moment, he asked for the next best thing, "Can I get cleaned up?"

"I'll have one of the nurses come in with some soap and a razor first thing in the morning," Hester answered.

The other thing he wanted was more pressing, but harder to ask for. Even so, if he wanted it out, he was going to have to ask. "Uh, sir, could you, uh," Leo looked down at his lap.

"You'd like the catheter out, would you? I wondered how long it would take you to ask," Hester chuckled. "It's going to have to stay in a little longer though. Let's wait until tomorrow morning. If things are looking good then, we'll take it out."

Leo grimaced at this news and Hester gave him a rueful smile, "I know, but humor an old man. I've put a fair bit of effort into you so far, and I'd rather not take any chances with you now."

He had no leverage in this argument and he knew it, so he conceded the point gracefully. "Understood, sir."

"Hang in there, I'll see you in a few hours. The nurses will be in to check on you, but we'll try to let you get some rest. Goodnight son."

"'Night, sir." Leo watched Hester leave and wondered where Jed was. He wanted to rest, but he'd feel better if Jed were back by his side.

Jed finished his call to Abbey, she was as relieved as he, but having told her the good news, there wasn't much else to say and she had to get to work. He poured himself another cup of coffee from the nurses' station and walked back to Leo's room. Dr. Hester was sitting in there talking, and Jed decided to give them a few minutes before interrupting. He made a circuit of the floor, stretching his legs and trying to regain some sense of equilibrium. His emotions had run the gamut tonight and trying to regain his bearings was doubtless going to take some time.

Hester caught him on his way out. "He's looking good. I'm going home to get some sleep, but I'll be by again around nine or so. He needs to rest."

Jed nodded, "Dr. Hester, sir, I don't know how to say…"

"You don't need to say anything, Mr. Bartlet. I was just doing my job," he stepped into the waiting elevator before Jed could fumble a response.

Leo eyes were shut, and Jed sat down and brushed a hand against his forehead. Leo didn't open his eyes, but Jed was rewarded as the corner of his mouth hitched upwards. "You're back," Leo mumbled.

"Right here," Jed confirmed. "Abbey says to tell you she loves you. Do you need anything?"

Leo moved his head a little on the pillow, not quite a shake, but close enough. "Stay?" he requested.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away," Jed answered. "Go to sleep, I'm not going anywhere."

Leo relaxed, trying to let himself drift off, but in the darkness of sleep lay the nightmares of explosions and fire in the sky, and some small part of him was afraid he'd wake up to find that was the reality and this interlude had been the dream. He hovered in the hazy twilight between sleep and wakefulness, always jerking himself back just before he got deep enough for peace.

Jed sat there quietly, watching his friend drift off for a while until he realized he wasn't really letting go. Then, wordlessly, he reached up to smooth the lines from around Leo's temples and eyes, stroking short light touches over his forehead and through his hair until he felt the tension finally ease up enough he could really rest.