Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or the concept of taking char.s to haunted locations.

A/n: Usually I do not write using current lingoes and technology, but by gummit, this fic is completely random and meant to make you get in the Halloween mood. Please Enjoy!

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In the void of darkness, chimera-fied Shou Tucker steps out from behind a tree. A flash of lightning illuminates the sky, revealing a large, intimidating brick building. There is a glare on his glasses from the lightning that gives the State Alchemist a terrifying look. And the grin on his face says that he's thinking of making a new chimera out of the youth reading this text.

"Good evening," he begins in his soft, spine tingling voice that makes small children sleep with night lights on for months, "And welcome to this week's presentation of Full Metal Alchemist: Scariest Places on Ametris. I am your host, Shou Tucker the Sewing Life Alchemist. Behind me is one of the most haunted locations in Ametris, The Asher Reed Asylum.

In a moment, you will hear about this building's bloody past. But first let us meet tonight's team of victims…I mean… paranormal investigators.

First of all, the two obvious choices for this… fic: The Elric brothers, Edward, the Full Metal Alchemist, and his little brother, Alphonse…"

All attention is focused on the Elric brothers, who are sitting in chairs in a completely different (and better lit) room. Al waves to the readers and Ed smirks as he slouches in his seat.

"I guess you can say we don't believe in ghosts." Al begins, "The science of alchemy leads us to believe that everything has a purpose. Spirits don't exactly have a purpose."

"It just doesn't make any sense, you know?" Ed adds, rubbing the back of his head, "According to equivalent exchange, it is simply impossible. We're only doing this because we were told we'd get another lead as to how to get our bodies back."

"That and Mr. Tucker gives me the willies." Al admits with a sweat drop.

Attention shifts back to Tucker standing in front of the asylum long enough to introduce the next guests, "The Ishbalan agent of death, Scar."

Scar is seen sitting in the same room Ed and Al sat in, looking quite sexy, despite the situation. He takes off his sunglasses, revealing his blood red eyes. "Life after death is no laughing matter." He explains, "We all hope the souls of our dead go to Ishbala, but some lack the faith to do so. There is something out there in the night, and if we meddle with it, we will suffer the consequences. However, this is a major gathering of state alchemists, how can I resist a chance to pass judgment?"

It shifts back to Tucker, long enough to introduce Roy Mustang as a member of the team.

"Normally I don't bother with this kind of stuff but any chance to see Hawkeye in a skirt I take." He explains.

Attention goes back to Shou Tucker who, to no surprise, introduces Hawkeye and Black Hayate as the next members of the team.

"Who else is going to watch the Colonel?" She asks, justifying the reason she is affiliated with this project. "Dogs usually have keen senses when it comes to the paranormal-if you can call it that. This pup'll bark sometimes late at night and nothing will be around. I don't buy into any of this spirit world stuff, but if Roy Mustang thinks he's getting me in a mini skirt, he can think again."

"Alex Louis Armstrong," Tucker says in his creepy voice.

Armstrong flexes his muscles for the readers as sparkles run abound. "The art of communicating to the spirit world has been passed down in the Armstrong family for generations!" he cries as he flexes some more.

"Winry Rockbell," Shou ticks off the names on his list.

"Sometimes, when I'm working on automail designs late at night, I can feel someone watching me. And I've heard stories about this place." She shudders, "It's extremely creepy."

"And lastly…Gracia and Maes Hughes." Tucker introduces as a collective cry of 'HUGHES!!!' rips through the night from the many distraught fan girls of Maes.

Attention is turned to Mr. and Mrs. Hughes who are sitting hand in hand, smiling at the readers. "Having a small daughter, Maes and I have learned one thing when it comes to spirits:" Gracia begins.

"A teddy bear scares them away! And look! Here is a picture of our little angle Elysia on her tricycle!" Maes finishes, flashing a picture of their daughter to the readers.

"But seriously, Maes and I both believe that there is something out there." Gracia continues, placing a hand on her husband's out stretched arm as a quiet way of saying to him now is not the time. "There was an entity in the first house we owned. We don't know what, but we would set things somewhere and then it would be gone, only to appear in the most unlikely place."

"But it didn't really intimidate us." Maes continues with a grin, "It was more organized than we were."

The room fades out and once again all attention is turned onto Tucker. "Join us, if you dare, as these nine go into the asylum and investigate the hauntings. They have until day break…if they survive…" he trails off and breaks into a manic laugh, "hahahahahahahahahhha…hehe..hoho…lol…te he…" he pauses and then as a flash of lightning lights the sky he gives a smile with hidden malice, "You've been warned…"