CHAPTER 90

CLEARING OF THE MIND

December 13, 2010

8:11am

Charlottesville, Virginia

Russell Family Home

"Alright Christian, I want you to try and clear your mind," Will said softly to Jason. The little boy was lying down on Will's bed, Will next to him in a rocking chair. The lights were dimmed leaving the room in a soft glow.

"You using my second middle name is making me uneasy Will," Jason replied.

"Sorry Jasa, force of habit. Now pick a spot on the ceiling. Stare at it but don't focus on it. I want you to concentrate on your breathing, but at the same time don't think about breathing. Oh and try not to fall asleep," Will instructed. Jason sat up and stared at his brother as though Will had lost his mind.

"You want me to focus but not think, and stare but not focus?" Jason asked.

"Jasa it's okay you can do this I know you can," Will reassured his brother. "Now lay back down." Will gently put his hand on Jason's small chest guiding the boy to lay down.

Jason looked up at a small black spot on the ceiling and breathed. There was a good three seconds that Jason's mind was more or less clear of his thoughts and fears. And then they all came crashing down on him as Jason realized just what he was doing and why. If Jason didn't learn to clear his mind Jack would most certainly die. Jason was the only one who could save his brother. This time there would be no Will or Alley, or Momma or Daddy or anyone else coming to the rescue.

"Don't Jason," Will whispered. Will had gently probed into his little brother's mind to make sure that it was clear of all thoughts and emotions, except that of love.

"I can't help it Will. Why does it have t' be me. I'm just Jason, I'm not you, or Alex. I'm not brave. I'm no hero. I'm just a little boy, a nobody," Jason said his voice near panic.

"No you aren't. If that were true than the Centre would have never bothered trying to get you or Jack. You survived, Jason, you and Jack. The two of you were all alone, and for the first time in your lives you had no one to rely upon, no one who would protect you or make anything better. I don't even know if I could have done that. Jasa, you may not be a hero to the world but you are to me."

"But I was weak! I told you I wanted to die! That doesn't make me a hero!" Jason yelled.

"It makes you human, Zane. We all have our moments where we want to give up. When Alley was taken from me I did nearly everything I could to get the Centre to kill me because as far as I was concerned there was no point of living my life with out her. Zane the moments in our life when we were at our lowest point don't matter. What matters is that in the end we survived them," Will told his brother.

"But will Jack? Will, if I can't learn to clear my mind, Jack will die and it will be because of me. What then? Will everyone hate me?" Jason asked tears trailing down his face.

"No. What happened that made Jack sick isn't your fault. And if...if Jack doesn't get better no one will blame you Jace. I thought that Mom and Dad would hate me because I couldn't save Alley but they didn't. The only person who is at fault for what has and what may happen to Jack is Richard Parker," Will said pulling Jason into his arms.

"I just don't want to fail. I don't want to lose my twin," Jason whispered.

"We aren't going to lose Jack. I'm going to work with you to train your power. I swear to you that you are going to learn to heal," Will promised. 'You have to,' Will added silently. 'I don't think that this family could handle to loss of Jack.'

"I want to try this again. I have to," Jason said moving out of Will's arms.

"Alright," Will smiled. "Let do this."

Jason laid back down, looked up at the ceiling and breathed. It was all he did for the next five hours.

December 13, 2010

8:30am

Charlottesville, Virginia

Russell Family Home

"I brought you breakfast," Benny said placing a tray on the window seat where Kaine was. Kaine meet his brother's eyes, mildly surprised to see that Benny would enter alone.

"Go away Benjamin," Kaine sighed.

"What did Keegan say to you? I saw him leaving your room yesterday afternoon," Benny asked, not bothering with pleasantries

"I said go away," Kaine hissed not wanting to remember the memory Keegan had brought to surface.

"What are you going to do Kaine, stab me? I mean there's a reason there isn't a knife on your tray and your only utensil is a plastic fork," Benny replied as he sat next to his brother. Benny was still a bit weak and didn't want to stand for too long. Besides sitting next to Kaine would prove to the older clone that Benny no longer feared him.

"No longer afraid of me huh, baby brother?" Kaine questioned recognizing the point Benny was trying to make.

"Should I be? I don't think that you hate me Kaine, not anymore. Nor do believe that you'll try and kill me again. I think that you're lonely, it has to be you up here all by yourself. Well maybe for you it's not. You liked being alone back on Carthis. But still every person craves companionship, even you. It's why you cling to the false love of Father so much. You crave to be loved. I wonder if you'll one day come to realize that there are people here who will give you that love," Benny said softly.

"Please Able...just...just go," Kaine sighed returning his gaze to the window.

"We were close once-"

"I said go!" Kaine yelled cutting his brother off a hint of desperation in his voice.

"Alright, I'm leaving," Benny said a bit startled at his brother's outburst. "I'm sorry that I upset you," Benny apologized as he left. After Benny left Kaine looked down at his breakfast tray. It took him a moment to recognize that it was his favorite. A Belgium waffle with fresh strawberries and powdered sugar, no syrup. The waffle was accompanied by two slices of Canadian bacon, and a tall glass of orange juice.

Kaine picked up his napkin as he unfolded it he glanced down to see that there was a folded piece of paper below it. Kaine carefully picked up and unfolded the sheet of paper. It was a sketch done by Benny himself. The sketch was of Kaine, Benny and Seth, the three toddlers playing with a set of toy cars Steve had given them for their birthday.

The young clone quickly refolded the drawing, and placed it in his back pocket. 'What have I done to earn his forgiveness?' Kaine asked himself.

December 13, 2010

8:50am

Charlottesville, Virginia

Russell Family Home

"You're a better lad than I," Allen told Benny the two boys sat in the room they were currently sharing with Adam. Adam was currently gone, neither Allen or Benny quite sure where the other boy had disappeared to, but they weren't worried.

"Back at the monastery the monks preached forgiveness. One of the few things I actually agreed with them on," Benny replied.

"He tried to kill you Benny," Allen pointed out.

"Kaine was manipulated by our father, and the monks to the point of madness. I believe that a man can change. I believe that Kaine has started to change. When we were younger, Kaine, Seth and I were close. After Seth died though we drifted apart. I think most of it was due to the way father treated us. Kaine isn't a perfect clone like I am. He doesn't have any of Peter's abilities and Father resented Kaine for that. Father treated Kaine as though he was inferior to me. It was wrong and I place some of the blame on myself for not defending Kaine," Benny admitted.

"You were a boy," Allen argued.

"That may have been so, but I still should have said something," Benny said.

December 13, 2010

8:50am

Charlottesville, Virginia

Russell Family Home

Adam had left the house for a bit of fresh air allowing his feet lead him. He supposed he should have been shocked when he found himself back at the undergrown club house in which he had hidden until he felt it was safe to return home out of fear the sweepers would find him.

"The spot where my life changed," Adam whispered, staring down at the hidden door to the club house.

"Talking to yourself little brother?" Jake asked from behind, startling Adam.

"Don't scare me like that,"Adam hissed, his heart racing.

"Sorry little brother, I didn't mean to scare you. But you were in your own little world, I've been following you for the past five minutes," Jake replied, placing a hand on Adam shoulder.

"I had to get out of the house, I needed to think," Adam said answering Jake's silent question.

"Me too," Jake told his brother. "You want to say what's on your mind?"

"The Centre knows where we are. That bastard Alex probably does as well. What if he comes here, Jake? Or what if he finds Mom, Wolvie, Kay, Kale and the others?" Adam voiced his fears.

"Mom and the others will be fine, don't you worry about them," Jake reassured his brother.

"Jake, if I tell you something can it stay just between us?" Adam asked.

"You know that it will," Jake replied.

"I don't think that Pete is going to come back. You should of heard him Jake. He hates what that bastard Parker turned him into, he hates himself. God, Jake I'm so worried about him."

"I know the feeling, Adam. There isn't a moment that goes by where I don't worry about one of the others. I'm the oldest and they have always been my responsibility. Peter, and now Benny, Allen and maybe one day Kaine even, have become yours. You're the oldest baby brother and they will look to you for guidance, just as Marc, Cassie and the others look to me. It's a heavy burden, but you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world," Jake said.

"What makes me qualified to be the one they look to?" Adam asked.

"You have a good heart, you seek to do what is right, and you love them as though they were your own brothers. I've watched you with them Adam, Pete's always looked to you. And in the few days that Benny and Allen have been here they've come to rely on you," Jake noted.

"Yeah me the coward, the one who ran when the sweepers came," Adam muttered.

"And if you hadn't run where would you have been? On Sl-2. In Carthis, with Raines doing God knows what to you?"

"If it was Rach or anyone else you wouldn't of run," Adam argued. "You would of fought, hell you would of gone with them willingly."

"Yes and that's my curse of being a Black File. You and Pete and the other's are so lucky in the fact that you can be apart from each other. I don't think anyone truly understands what it meant for Alex and Jer to have gone off on their own. For Alex to still be over and Carthis. It's pure hell on Air, Andy and Alex," Jake spoke.

"That's not the point, Jake. You would of fought, you wouldn't of run away at the first sign of danger!" Adam yelled,

"Stop, alright," Jake said spinning his brother around so that the two were looking at each other. The older boy had his hand cupping Adam's chin, not allowing Adam to turn away. "I don't think that there isn't a moment that goes by where I thank God that you ran. It's not that I don't believe that you could have survived the Centre, because I know you could have. But that's not my point, I never want for you to ever have to live through what I did."

"News flash Jake. I have lived through what you have. For seven years, I've looked over my shoulders out of fear that they would find us. I've lived with the terror, just like you," Adam snapped.

"Baby brother, you may have been looking over your shoulders for seven years, but for the eight years before that I had to look strait on. This past month has only given you a glimpse of what my life at the Centre was. What Alex has been through is nothing new for any of us. By the time I was three-"

"Stop giving me one of your patented speeches on how I don't know what your life was like. I've had to hear them from you and everyone else since I came here. I get it okay? Your life sucked, guess what Jake so has mine. I've lost both my parents; I've all but lost my best friend as well as my childhood. I'm twelve years old Jake, most kids my age are worried about puberty, me I'm worried about breaking my cousins out of Evil Incorporated!" The boy yelled.

"I've got three words for you Ad. 'Get. Over. It'," Jake said enunciating his last three words very carefully. "You're right your life hasn't been that great, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse. Stop pitying yourself and stop blaming yourself for running away. Dad told you once and I'm telling you again, you did the right thing by running."

"Actually Dad said I could beat myself about running away later on," Adam retorted, stepping out of Jake's reach.

"Guess what? You picked the wrong time," Jake replied.

"Can you give me a good time to schedule it?" Adam asked, frowning. He was shocked when Jake laughed, and threw his arm over Adam's shoulder.

"Little brother, when I find a good time you'll be the first to know and then you, I, Will, and Jer can throw our own little pity party," Jake said as he steered Adam towards home.

"Jake, do you have any regrets?" Adam asked.

"Too many to list," Jake sighed thinking back to the Centre and his failed escape planned that caused Alex to be branded.

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Up Next: Allen calls home. We learn just who is out to betray Peter and his group