Title: Salvation

Author: atlantis child (Command Dynamics), innocent choir girl John and Elizabeth are separated from the team during a diplomatic mission off-world when they are ambushed by Genii. Hope is far and survival is the only thing on John's mind. They must struggle against Kolya in order to keep information from him and to break out of the Genii prison. Spoilers for seasons one through three.

Genres: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Drugs, Torture, Violence

Rating: PG-13

Chapter: 7 "The Ultimate Sacrifice"

Author's Notes: pull out the Kleenex people! This is the last chapter…and Kleenex is needed. Be warned now.

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Most of the time John just sat there with Elizabeth in his arms. The drugs had kicked in and she had fallen asleep. It had been a strangely happy time for him. He knew that she wasn't in pain…and just the knowledge of that was currently enough to keep him calm. Staring at the medical kit he tried to figure out how much longer the pain medication would last. Not nearly long enough was what he thought.

Picking up one of the bottles, he examined the label. 'Do not crush' was one of the warnings on it. "Why not?" John argued with the bottle. Once the injectable drugs were gone, how else was he supposed to get them into her? "Why not? What could possibly happen?" And then a thought came to mind. Overdose. At first the idea really freaked him out, but then it started to not sound so bad.

John didn't want to loose Elizabeth, let alone kill her himself, but what other options were there at the moment? No one was coming, and if they were…they were taking too damn long. There wasn't a way out…not one that he'd be able to get them both out alive. And the hard cold truth was Kolya was going to kill Elizabeth. At the moment he was doing it slowly and painfully. It wasn't only killing Elizabeth, but him also in a way he had never thought of before.

Sighing he looked up at the dark ceiling and wondered if he could live with himself after doing such a thing to his friend, who meant more than that to him…that was if Kolya didn't kill him. But if he let her suffer? It was hard enough…

Leaning down and placing a kiss gently on her forehead, he whispered, "I love you, Elizabeth." He let his forehead rest against hers as he thought about the option at hand.

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It took a whole day until they received food or water. It was a portion only for one and John wondered if Kolya thought he'd killed Elizabeth that time. Or perhaps they thought it was just inevitable?

John took only a sip of the water and a bit of the mush. Elizabeth had barely been awake since she had fallen asleep the day before after he had given her the pain medication. John thought that it was probably that that made what he was about to do so easy.

Opening the med kit, John opened the bottles of pills. There were enough, he thought. The containers that held the pills were small, but John ventured the two bottles would work just fine. Taking out a piece of plastic from the pack, John used the pill container to ground both bottles of pills into powder form before stirring it into the mush.

Now he'd wait until she woke up before he could get her to eat any of it. It would also give him more time to think it over. Just in case he decided to back out of it…he would have time. So, he relaxed and thought about what was about to happen… What would happen if anyone finally showed up to rescue them…

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Hours later, Elizabeth woke…and John was partially relieved. But she wasn't all there, he managed to get her up into a sitting position and drink some water. So, then he slowly started to feed her the mush. He was just happy that she wasn't having problems getting it down. Slowly he fed her. It was silent; she didn't even try to say anything. John wasn't even sure if she knew who he was…but at least she wouldn't be in any pain… After the mush was gone, he helped her drink more of the water, before just leaning against the wall holding her. He didn't want to leave her alone…

Holding her tightly, he kissed her forehead. "I love you," he whispered to her again. His eyes welled up thinking about how she probably couldn't hear him… But he still needed to say it. And John hoped that Elizabeth knew how much he did care for her… He watched as her eyes closed. Hope that she'd be free from the pain and suffering, John leaned back and closed his eyes. Knowing that she'd be okay now, he let himself sleep…he had been worn from lack of sleep...the dark circles under his eyes would testify to it.

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When John woke up some time later, he looked over Elizabeth. Her eyes were shut, her body was still limp. Her breathing was quiet and shallow. John wasn't sure if her body was shutting down…or more just hibernating… But she was quiet and there were no signs of her experiencing pain…

When the door swung open, John didn't even look up. He heard mumbling and footfalls closing in on them. He let them take Elizabeth and then drag him off. They had been left along for so long it seemed…Kolya was bound to come back and check on them…

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That was the last time John saw Elizabeth. Kolya had reminded him about the Wraith, but John really didn't care. With Elizabeth, his soul had gone, too… He didn't care if he lived or died… He didn't care what Kolya did… It was like he was empty inside…he just wished that he could ascend…or something like it.

One day the door swung open and John wished that they'd just get it over with and bring the Wraith in and let it feed off of him, but instead of a heavy hand clutching his shoulder it was a gentle hand accompanied by a gentle voice. John just stared at Carson Beckett who was looking him over. He hadn't expected them to ever come… Why did they? Why not just let him die? He couldn't live now… Not without Elizabeth… Not after everything he'd done.

But, with Ronan's help, John was pulled to his feet and out of the Genii cell. John wondered if Kolya had left him to die as he was pulled through…there were no signs of any of the Genii. "Elizabeth," John mumbled quietly.

Carson's face went grim, "We found her." He stopped and turned to John, he wanted to make the break as easy as possible. "She was in another cell… She didn't make it."

"My fault," he mumbled. He'd already cried for Elizabeth…several times…he wasn't even sure if his tear ducts could produce anymore tears.

"No lad…" Carson tried to assure as they walked again. He had already arranged for the marines that had come with them to take Elizabeth's body back through to Atlantis. He didn't see any need in leaving her in the cell, not when she could be buried on Atlantica's mainland or Earth.

As Ronan, Teyla, and Carson tried to get him to walk, John felt as if he was looking at the world through other eyes. He wanted to tell them to leave him there…to scream to them that he had been the one to kill Elizabeth…that they had taken too long… But instead, John stayed silent. Passive, even. The others guided him to the Stargate and through to Atlantis.

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Atlantis felt wrong. All he had done was spend time in the infirmary. Mainly silent. But when Carson told him that he'd be sent back to Earth if he didn't say anything, John felt a stinging through his whole body. Elizabeth was on Atlantica…he didn't want to leave… Perhaps he was just going crazy, but John could feel her…it gave him some reassuring that she was safe…home even.

"I crushed up the pills," John told Carson. His voice was weak and strained from not talking for so long. "I fed them to her in the food… I just…" John's voice cracked. "I just couldn't stand her in anymore pain… Kolya was going to hurt her…torture her more and more… I couldn't let him do that…"

"You took away the pain," Carson said understanding at least the concept John was trying to convey.

"I killed her…"

Carson shook his head, "No ya didn't… Elizabeth died from lack of dehydration and malnutrition. I did find a large dose of pain killers and sedatives in her system, but I believe she was in a coma… Ya didn't kill her… Kolya did." He saw the look on John's face; Carson wasn't sure what it was…relief or guilt…but he did know that maybe John was healing… Healing in ways that Carson really couldn't assist in with IV fluids. "But John," he said gently putting his hand on John's arm. "She didn't suffer…"

She didn't suffer.

It was a small comfort… But that was what he had wanted, wasn't it? To stop her suffering… John knew that his life on Atlantis was over… Without Elizabeth there he didn't feel the same purpose he once had. The Air Force already had replacements for them both anyways and they seemed to be doing just fine. Instead, John had taken up on Teyla's offer. He was going to move to the mainland as soon as Carson released him. He'd be closer to Elizabeth there, and maybe in that simple lifestyle he could fine peace.

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The End.